This year’s seen the debut of perhaps the funniest reality show yet, something we here at Heathen are calling “Who Wants To Be Obama’s Bitch,” but which the GOP calls “find a candidate to replace Jack Ryan who didn’t try to fuck anyone in public.”

They’re down to two candidates, having gotten “no” from such political luminaries as Mike Ditka. Bachelor number one is Alan Keyes, who’s never actually, you know, lived in Illinois (be not vexed; he can move there by election day and everything’s kosher); bachelor number two is Andrea Barthwell, who has a few interesting items on her resume.

During her brief stint at the drug czar’s office one of her most noteworthy accomplishments seems to have been getting written up in a “hostile workplace memorandum” for “lewd and abusive behavior.” Talking Points Memo

The winner of this little contest gets to spend acres of cash to try and catch Democratic wunderkind and apparent real-deal Barack Obama, who has $10MM in the bank and was leading pretty-boy candidate Jack Ryan by a substantial margin before Ryan withdrew under RNC pressure. I suppose it would be too straightforward for them simply to cede the seat, but does anyone really think Obama can be beaten in November?