When it comes to the war on terror, America cannot afford to have the wrong man at the helm. The leader of the free world must understand that this clash of civilizations is, above all things, a war of concepts, and he must have the strength and the purity to embrace the boldest possible vision. Now more than ever, America needs a man of ideas in the Oval Office. George W. Bush is that man. For his administration had not only embraced ideas, it exists, in a sense, only as an idea. It has so rapidly and so readily embraced the boldest of ideas that it has transcended the need for real actions, real plans, real accomplishments, and reality itself. Any leader could have made the war on terror into a tedious, ongoing struggle to unearth and uproot a multi-tentacled terrorist organization while attempting to heal the rifts between the Muslim world and the West. But George Bush didn’t just see the task: he saw the grand idea behind the task, and better still, the vague abstractions behind the grand idea. And he was willing to fight those vague abstractions. Terror, weapons of mass destruction – they may not have been really in Iraq, but the idea of them most certainly was. And that was an idea the world’s only superpower had to confront with real troops.
Giblets, of course, endorses Giblets.
One candidate is taking Giblets – and the threat of Giblets – seriously. One candidate knows that if Giblets’s rivals are elected president he could transform into a pack of ravenous wolves and eat your children. And that candidate is Giblets.
Fafnir, though, endorses a gila monster, but not without real deliberation:
It is a confusin an frightenin time to be America. Because a 9/11 an these Times Of Change. “Oh no!” says America. “I’m so confused who do I voooote for!” You need steady leadership in times a change America. The steady leadership of a big ol dog. Some other candidates say they are steady but are they really? Or are they just suspiciously french an ketchupy? “Sacre bleu, vive le France,” say some other candidates. “Ceci n’est pas une pipe.” Well always know where a big ol dog stands on hard issues like terror!” “HRARRGL HRAARRGL GRRRAAARRRGL,” says a big ol dog bitin an spittin an growlin at terror. The dog is also tough on other dogs, postal workers, small children, plants an stuff that looks like plants.