Onion: “Parents’ Record Collection Deemed Hilarious:”

The teens accidentally stumbled across the record collection while searching for a long-rumored bottle of brandy in the Schnell family den. The collection proved a treasure trove of comic fodder, featuring such artists as The New Christy Minstrels, The Fifth Dimension, Helen Reddy, Tony Orlando & Dawn, Jo Ann Castle, The Carpenters, Glen Campbell, Arthur Fiedler & The Boston Pops, John Denver, Boots Randolph, and Ferrante & Teicher.

Music and pop-culture experts agree that the Schnell record collection is one of the most hilarious in the country today.

“At turns atrocious, tasteless, tepid, and self-parodying, the Schnell discography is a perfect encapsulation of the listening tastes of the American bourgeoisie in the mid- to late 20th century, as well as a knee-slappingly hilarious compendium of misguided trends in popular music,” said Lydia Dreifort, director of the Alan Lomax Center For American Ethnomusicology in Oxford, MS. “Can you believe they actually own Neil Diamond’s Jonathan Livingston Seagull?”

“I greatly look forward to having the chance to examine it firsthand,” Dreifort said of the collection, which not only features Hooked On Classics, but Hooked On Swing and Hooked On Broadway. “The exquisite squareness of the music is truly something to behold.”