So, yeah, it turns out this guy is a little odd by NFL standards — giant fantasy gamer, essentially disinterested in football beyond his niche (which he apparently does very well), and possessed of a genuinely quick and well-educated mind. In other words, he’s a huge nerd. That makes this even MORE awesome.
Also, if the first version of the letter offended your delicate sensibilities, well, he’s gone and posted a clean version as well.
Oh, and there’s a great MeFi thread on the whole thing, too. So that’s AN ENTIRE EXTRA BIT at no extra charge. See how good I am to you?
Note that I never said that the first version offended me. It didn’t; it merely struck me as hackneyed, juvenile, woefully unfunny, and hardly worth being held up as an example of a world-class smackdown. Kluwe is a sharp cat, and definitely has some writing chops, but you can feel it when somebody is trying too hard. There is this very distinct tonal thing that happens when somebody is furiously posturing for a specific, edgy internet reading audience whose capacity to recognize genuinely incisive commentary has been dulled by overexposure to Twittered bumper stickeresque one-liners, and it’s usually not good; everything comes out desperately overstated and stained with phony self-righteous rage. It’s hard to discern how much the blame rests with the reader, and how much with the writer.
Nonetheless, I am pleased to announce that the clean version neither left me all in a heap as before, nor caused my delicately perfumed parasol (YES, I PERFUME MY MOTHERFUCKING PARASOL) to spin in centrifugal protest. The nanny nanny boo boo tone of the revision did, unexpectedly, make him sound even more childishly petulant than he did in the original. I’m sensing unresolved hostility related to parental authority in this one. Some may find Kluwe’s vibe to be utterly awesome and enviable, but I recognize him immediately as one of those really smart guys who, sadly, will forever be lacking in the kind of grace (no, not the Jesus kind) that unusually intelligent people desperately need to keep from being insufferable. He’s that guy whose most natural and favored form of expression is the teen angsty snipe.
“While his teammates spend hours in position meetings, he sits at a computer outside the locker room hurling insults in a World of Warcraft chatroom.” Sounds about right to me. The nerds I know are much more affable types, and intuitively know when it’s time to give it a rest. The other kind I avoid.