So, this story is already bananas, right?

“Drunken Texas mom is booted from school play, kicks officer and floods jail, police say“

It’s crazy even before you get to this:

Officers reported finding eight 75-mL vodka bottles — seven of them empty — in her purse.

7 x 75ml is 525ml, or more than 2/3 of a fifth.

BUT IT GETS MORE NUTS, because these are the links at the bottom for “related stories”: