See, they used to be called Daddy, and were way more of a prog-rock kind of bent — GODDAMMIT LOOK AT ME WHEN I’M TALKING, YOU PREHISTORIC FREAK — until probably around 1973 or so, when they added Bob Siebenberg, among other new members — STOP EATING THE FURNITURE, YOU FUCK — and got signed. In 1974, they had their first hit, which turned out to be one of many — JESUS FUCK YOU STINK, YOU KNOW THAT? — that included 1975’s “Dreamer” and the also-solid B-side “Bloody Well Right.” DO NOT FUCKING BITE THE INTERN! CHRIST! The late 1970s brought their huge hit, “Breakfast in America,” that included the songs anyone who grew up in the 1970s — I’M STARTING TO THINK YOU DON’T REALLY GIVE A SHIT ABOUT SUPERTRAMP, YOU GENETIC THROWBACK — knows by heart, including “The Logical Song,” “Goodbye Stranger,” and “Take the Long Way Home.”

You know what? Fuck this. You and your poison spit can go listen to One Direction for all I care. I’m out.