Look. We admit it. We know there are sometimes things that we post here that are horrible. Ridiculous. Painful, even. Maybe visiting this page has gotten someone into trouble with a spouse, a lover, a co-worker, a boss, or even the clergy. That we know this, publically acknowledge it, and yet not change compounds the sin immeasurably.

And yet, you keep coming back. For you, the determined sort not yet sufficiently burned, offended, or morally compromised to realize the error of your ways, we present the GeezerSqueezer.