Well, it looks like ol’ NickyLou made it past the gauntlet of his first actual SEC game, but don’t celebrate yet: it was perennial SEC football whipping boy Vandy, where the players are actually expected to score 4 digits on the SAT. (The only sadder squad in the region is in Starkville (which is hard to imagine, since MSU is in no way as handicapped by “admission requirements” as Vandy(HDANCN?))). Even so, a win’s a win. Let’s do the math:
Last week we determined that we’d purchased 1.4375 winning points per million after the Tide somehow managed to rout the I-AA Western Carolina team. We reached this figure by taking the margin of victory in that game (46 points) and dividing it by 32, the number of millions of dollars Saban’s contract is worth. This week, our winning score was 24-10, creating a 14 point margin of victory. 46 + 14 is a nice, even 60. 60 / 32 gives us the new Nick Saban Winning Points Per Million Value: 1.8750. We look forward to this reaching more promising levels later in the year.
Up next: a real, ranked squad in the No. 16 Arkansas Razorbacks, followed by No. 23 Georgia on 9/22. Saban doesn’t get another gimmee until late this month, when there’s a 3-week respite: Florida State on 9/29 (not even that much of a gimmee), Houston on 10/06, and Ole Miss on 10/13.
Things we don’t understand this week:
Joe Pa earns encomiums for beating the helpless Irish 31-10, this time with commentary on his “stout D.” Were the sports cognoscenti just not paying attention when then-unranked Georgia Tech kept the Irish out of the end zone entirely last week in their 33-3 rout, while the Lions gave up a TD? How is that “stout D” from a top-20 team? Even so, as we predicted last week, the Lions move up from AP 14/USAT 15 to No. 12 across the board on the “strength” of this win.
Once-mighty Michigan flopped again, losing to Oregon 39-7. They’re quoted as saying, however, that they’re “pretty sure” they can beat the Irish next Saturday in a contest that promises to be an utter waste of pigskin, time, and TV-time. The last time Michigan opened with two losses was 1959, while the Irish have been outscored by 51 points in their first two games. We’re sure it’ll be on TV. Whatever.
Third-Party Contract Oil’s favorite squad — still ranked, for some reason — showed they’re all offense on Saturday by allowing Middle Tennessee State to score 42 points; Louisville required 58 to seal the deal. Put those boys in a game with an SEC defense and we’ll talk, Danno.
This week’s vote for “least relevant televised game” goes to the prime-time contest between powerhouses Rutgers and Navy; Rutgers won, 41-24, and is apparently still ranked. For some reason. See above re: playing a power school.
Speaking of strong schools, what the fuck happened to Auburn? Jesus, people, it’s SOUTH FLORIDA, and you (a) go to OT aand (b) lose? You’re killing us, here. Christ. (Of course, the other side of this is that perhaps it means Saban’s got a good shot at his most important game, but that remains to be seen.)
Oh, and LSU — who routed No. 19 Virginia Tech this week 48-7 — is still only number 2, while the idle Trojans continue to enjoy their top rating. At least some of the votes for USC are defecting; USC was down to 40 first place votes, from 59. LSU picked up the difference.