Wisdom from the Intarnets

Artist, photographyer, and writer Richard Kadrey had the following to say about the major league baseball steroid foolishness over on The Well:

Dear News Dudes,

We’re losing two wars, people in europe and asia are wiping their asses with dollars because they’re worth less than toilet paper and at least half the current white house senior officials will probably be eligible for war crimes or profiteering charges when the dust settles. I only bring this up because some of us don’t goddamn care that much about goddamn steroid abuse in goddamn baseball. I acknowledge that it’s a legitimate news story, but the amount of time and the breathless “this is a world changing event!” coverage is, as my first editor at a tiny newspaper in Houston put it, “a cracked crock of shit.” Can you all just sit down, suck down a big, steaming mug of shut the fuck up and get some perspective? Are roger clemens shriveled balls really a more important story than rape and cover-up allegations against KBR? Are you just bored covering Britney’s breakdown or taping Amy Winehouse puking into her beehive? This isn’t the reporters’ fault, it’s you news editors sucking jock cock. Maybe you’re getting dad to sit up and listen to TV and radio news a little more, but you’re becoming even more of a joke to everyone else.

Oh, and Congress, you’re holding two hearings on the steroid thing? You can’t even pass a kid’s insurance bill and you’ve decided that this is the time to come clean on your secret Tom of Finland fetish so you can publicly speculate on a lot of big, buff guys’ pecs without looking too Larry Craig? Good choice. I have no doubt that this will make your approval ratings soar higher than Martin Borman’s, but still leave you a little south of bed sores.

Thank you. I’m off the put “the American in Me” by the Avengers on a loop and play it real LOUD out the window until the SWAT team comes down the chimney like santa and gifts me with a triple tap dirt nap. Goodnight moon. Goodnight stars.

(Reproduced here with Richard’s permission.)

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