Some sad-sack ratings-seeking “consumer” reporter at the Jackson TV station (“Kandiss Crone,” who appears to be trying to live up to her surname) has done a hard-hitting expose on the fact that an adult bookstore was selling illegal sex toys. Madcap hilarity ensues, probably because it’s hard for anyone who’s not a TV news douchebag (or raving nutbird fundie) to supply even fake outrage over violations of such a ridiculous prohibition. Really, Kandiss? This is the best you can do?

Perhaps our favorite part is this quote from Jackson Vice, supplied when Crone went to JPD for comment: “The adult store is not a priority for our vice and narcotics officers. We will do the best we can. Citizens would rather see us using our resources to get drugs and prostitutes off our streets and work to decrease violent crime.”

Believe it or not, it’s therefore the State the comes off (marginally) better here. The “news” dorks, however, remain worthless wastes of oxygen.

(Via BB.)

(Sidenote: the anchor in the first part of the story, one Howard Ballou, was the m.c. a couple years back for the JDRF gala we attend. When introduced (“Heathen, this is Howard Ballou, he’s our MC tonight” was all I got), I had no idea who he was. I shook his hand and made with the cocktail chat, which — much to my brother’s amusement — included me asking about his line of work. If you ever want to have fun with these pseudocelebs, apparently one of the best ways to make them nearly spit-take is to be unaware of their identity.)