The following are actual, no-kidding search phrases typed into Google or somewhere that led actual visitors here in January.
- Frankly, given the parameters, we’re pretty sure you can skip it.
- “thank you note gluten-free gift”
- Possible alternative titles for this site.
- “cirque de heathen”
- No idea what they’re looking for, but the last item probably means they think RMS is a terrorist.
- “signature terrorist spam security spoof emacs”
- In which someone looks to us for evening plans, and wisely.
- “alice s tall texan”
- In which someone looks to us for fashion advice, and badly.
- “2006 is velvet outdated?”
- Only since October, but it’s not like we blog about it (plus, we’d spell it right).
- “matrimonial intercource”
- Now you’re just being nosy.
- “jelly-fucking”
- Stop it. You’re scaring us.
- “rexella van impe sexy”
- Not here, unless you count being touched by His Noodly Appendage.
- “nsfw hentaivideos in blogs”
- There’s so much wrong with this we don’t know where to start.
- “leviticus insest”
- We’re leaving the snarky comment on this one to our attorney.
- “cuban beastilty”
- We think it’s a good idea, too, but do they listen to us?
- “advance shipping notification xml”
- Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.
- “hunter s. thompson avocado yoghurt wheelchair”
- Actually, we’re pretty sure what he does is Hatha, but you’re still in the wrong place.
- “mike dorman anusara”
- You know search engines log these things too, right?
- “state beastiallity laws”
- Honestly, it’s level 6 that’s a real pain in the ass.
- “level 4 taxing dhtml lemmings”
- Must be after that Freedom Porn.
- “porno quebeqois”
- No he can’t, and you’re a jackass for saying so.
- “screw liberty the president can damn well do what he wants”
- As the aforementioned Preznit would say, “Bring ’em on!”
- “muslim hotties”
- No, we will not do your homework for you.
- “alienation in ionesco s rhinoceros”
- And a Merry Christmas to you, too.
- “penthouse playmates advent calendar 2006”
- No idea here, but it makes us giggle anyway.
- “hong kong airport cling film tamper luggage”
- Eric, is that you?
- “240 dollars worth of pudding”
- At least it’s not IIS.
- “apache server garthbrooks”
- She’s probably be cute, if she weren’t a Seminole. And a Troll.
- “fsu female wow world of warcraft tallahassee girl”
- Frankly, we were never much of an authority. Late bloomer, you know.
- “cocksucking women/hattiesburg ms”
- If you keep searching at work, you may need a new “jop” soon
- “blow jop sex”
- We’re sure it’s out there, but do you really want to know?
- “how do echidnas urinate”
- Dept. of Misplaced IBP Referrers, Pt 1
- “review for full circle by c. mee in houston tx”
- Dept. of Misplaced IBP Referrers, Pt 2
- “troy schulze scientology
- Erin, we think we know where your dreams are coming from.
- “matthew mcconaughey pic texas handcuffs naked bongos oct 1999”
- Sure, some of ’em are, but that’s true of any place we’ve been.
- “huge boobs louisville”
- Dept. of Unclear On The Concept
- “uncopy cd”
- Just stop being a smartass and mop up the fucking milk, ok?
- “it is fruitless to become lachrymose over precipitately departed lacteal fluid”
- At least somebody’s looking into it.
- “presidential impeachment howto”
- As God is our witness, we wish we knew.
- “where to find oscelots for purchase”