Many are now aware of the long-running Net-joke “Chuck Norris Facts.” We’re not sure where they came from, and a bunch of them are Brasky retreads, but sometimes they’re funny.

The offshoot Bruce Schneier Facts are funnier: “If we built a Dyson sphere around Bruce Schneier and captured all of his energy for 2 months, without any loss, we could power an ideal computer running at 3.2 degrees K to count up to 2^256. This strongly implies that not only can Bruce Schneier brute-force attack 256-bit keys, but that he is built of something other than matter and occupies something other than space.”