HeathenFailure

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It is entirely unclear to me why, given the broad realms of expertise on offer in Heathen Nation, that we have not yet undertaken to build any seige engines.

Heathen Nation, please account for yourselves. Or, failing that, signify in comments below your willingness to undertake the mission of flinging large objects great distances for the sheer flying (yes) fuck of it some time in the near future. I am willing to start with fall harvest gourdfruit, chiefly because I believe them to be cheap, plentiful, and possessed of a satisfyingly dramatic endgame.

What we need:

  • A truck.
  • A place to fling.
  • Power tools.
  • Raw material (hello, Home Depot)
  • Plans (hello, Google)
  • Beer (not strictly required, but it sure seems wise, doesn’t it?)

Again, signify your willingness to participate in said tomfoolery with a comment below, or an email to me.

8 thoughts on “HeathenFailure”

  2. I built a siege engine, a trebuchet, three years ago at Woodrow Wilson HS. It had a 9′ throwing arm and a 100lb counterweight. I built it with a wooden frame and a 1″ steel bar for a cross beam/ pivot point. The firing mechanism was a pelican hook, and we could throw a two-pound object about 65 yards or so. Had we actually built an adjustable hook for the throwing arm, we probably could have dialed it in to throw less lofty and more distancey.

    We flung: -3 water balloons (failure; too much energy) -a kickball multiple times (played catch with it) -1 pineapple -several coconuts -a cabbage -several canteloupes -several soda cans -1 “unbreakable” REI water bottle (broke it) -several base-/softballs

    I think we threw a brick, too, but it pushed the weight to counterweight ratio. Unfortunately, all that is left of the project is the counterweight and the pelican hook mechanism. Well, that and the wheels. I also have the model I built to serve as a prototype in my office at work. I’ll search for photos. Perhaps some of my former students on Facebook?

  3. I built a siege engine, a trebuchet, three years ago at Woodrow Wilson HS. It had a 9′ throwing arm and a 100lb counterweight. I built it with a wooden frame and a 1″ steel bar for a cross beam/ pivot point. The firing mechanism was a pelican hook, and we could throw a two-pound object about 65 yards or so. Had we actually built an adjustable hook for the throwing arm, we probably could have dialed it in to throw less lofty and more distancey.

    We flung:

    -3 water balloons (failure; too much energy)

    -a kickball multiple times (played catch with it)

    -1 pineapple

    -several coconuts

    -a cabbage

    -several canteloupes

    -several soda cans

    -1 “unbreakable” REI water bottle (broke it)

    -several base-/softballs

    I think we threw a brick, too, but it pushed the weight to counterweight ratio. Unfortunately, all that is left of the project is the counterweight and the pelican hook mechanism. Well, that and the wheels. I also have the model I built to serve as a prototype in my office at work. I’ll search for photos. Perhaps some of my former students on Facebook?

  4. I have a book on how to make them. I’ll try to scan the relevant pages and get them to you. Barring that, I’ll send photos of mine.

  6. Please be aware that there are SEVERAL books on the subject. The standard text seems to be “Backyard Ballistics,” but there are others. Almost makes me wish I lived in Houston!

  7. I’m in. Tell me when/where. I have some suggestions on fling-ee’s. They will have to remain confidential, but You can probably guess.