Just because you could get both kittens in the carrier 18 months ago when you first took ’em to the goddamn vet doesn’t mean you can do it today with two full-grown cats, Dr Doolittle. It’s been 25 years since you had to deal with genuinely unhappy felines, and having had a vet for a dad doesn’t impart to you permanent amounts of Dog Whisperer-level animal husbandry skills, you doofus.

Now go bandage your hand, reschedule the appointment, and buy a second fucking carrier.