The red beast (file foto) is being repaired even as we speak, ending a 9 month fallow period wherein it quietly and forlornly leaked expensive synthetic oil onto Heathen Central’s garage floor.

How much? To preserve topicality, we will state only that current estimates are, roughly, 3.5 wedding cakes, but that includes an annual service, oil change, new spark plugs, miscellaneous maintenance and a new battery in addition to fixing the aforementioned oil leaks (yes, plural). It may remain a bad idea executed very well, but at least it’s OUR exemplar thereof. Vroom Vroom.