So, late last week, half of the Heathen World HQ Master Bedroom Closet fell to the ground with a resounding and mildly disturbing thud. The culprit? Frankly, while the hardware was quite loaded, the real problem is that the builder chose unapologetically shitty closet hardware in the first place. So fuck him.

Anyway, Mrs Heathen and I thought about it, and did a bit of research, and then braved the wilds of the Galleria Area yesterday to fetch a $400 pile of Elfa closet hardware. This stuff is wholly unshitty, and not THAT expensive for what you get (four bills got us 8 linear feet of stuff, including two levels of hanging rail in one segment and a column of shelves at one end). The whole system hangs from a rail you can, if you like, screw into the framing timbers at the top of the closet wall (that’s what we did; Elfa insists you can hang the whole thing with drywall anchors, but we’re pretty sure that’s bullshit). Ten minutes with a level, a pencil, and a drill and you’ve done all the actual work you need to do. Everything else is closet lego.

So, the upshot is that Chief Heathen’s end of the closet is roughly 900% more attractive than it was before, especially after the more or less unavoidable purge associated with moving everything out of and then back into the closet. Seriously: we’ve gone back upstairs to admire it several times since the installation. The downside to this is that Mrs Heathen’s half of the closet — the part drastically less used prior to her arrival — is still rockin’ the craptastic white wire stuff, as is the end wall of our end. However, she has an Elfa catalog, and we’re pretty sure she’ll have a plan by the time we get back from Dayton later this week.

Oh yes. Dayton. We still don’t know why a Silicon Valley company would put their demo and education center in a city so hard to get to simply, but they didn’t ask us when they built it. We understand putting it in the midwest, which makes it reachable from both coasts, but what the hell is wrong with Chicago? We suspect they’re getting kickbacks from airlines for all the connecting flights they’ve generated. Weasels.