Please welcome Caroline Maria Ceaser, the newest resident of Albany, New York, and my first niece. Pictures and statistics forthcoming.

Update: Ol’ Maria showed up at about 10:20 central. She has lots of hair, presumably in the appropriate regions, and eyes that may or may not stay blue. She weighted 7 lbs, 2 oz. Her mother damn near slept through the labor, which will of course earn her the enmity of every new mother she meets in the park. We also hear that Chief Heathen Educational Wunderkind has already asked after his Heathen Shout-Out, and it pleases us a great deal to point out that it was already here.

Send pix, guys.