So our Razr went tits-up on Monday, but with an inventive and new failure, not, apparently, the one that’s going around. (Go figure.) We called Cingular, explained the situation, and they agreed to send us out a new phone. The options were “wait a week” or “wait 1-2 days,” but the latter costs $7. Whatever; we needed a phone. It’s just another example of the pure unadulterated suck provided by wireless companies.

Anyway, as part of the conversation, they needed to know what color Razr was involved. “It’s black,” we said, “but at long as you don’t send us a pink one, we don’t really care.”

Imagine our surprise when the phone arrived the next day. It’s a silver one, which was fine. We found in the box nothing but the main phone body itself wrapped in plastic in a no-frills inner box. There was no battery or SIM card, just as we expected — but also missing was the back panel of the phone. Fifteen minutes later, when we got a human on the phone, we were told “oh, yes, we only send out the phone, not the accessories.” The back is an accessory? “Yes, sir.” Whatever (once again). Please send us a black one, then, so we don’t have Houston’s only two-tone Razr. This time, at least, they waived the $7 fee.

So the black phone just arrived. In the box was a more or less complete Razr kit, including (a) a black Razr; (b) a battery; (c) a black back panel; (d) a charger; and (e) a new manual. So much for not sending out “accessories.”

Now we’re going out, so we can send these goons their other two phones.