How on earth can Alabama governor Don Siegelman not realize that comments like “If God had wanted you to wear earrings, He’d have made you a girl” make him like an uneducated backwoods cracker? Link.
Lawyers, Guns, and Money IV
Dept. of Interplanetary Answering Devices
Who knew that Alderaan still had a home page?
Afroman Redux
The aforementioned Afroman, Mississippi hip-hop legend, has a hit on his hands with “Because I Got High.” Of course, loyal Heathen knew about him several weeks ago, but the single is climbing the charts in the wake of its inclusion on the Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back soundtrack. It’s a charming ditty with lyrics like
I messed up my entire life because I got high
I lost my kids and wife because I got high
now I’m sleeping on the sidewalk and I know why
because I got high, because I got high, because I got high.
Of course, the next step is a video, presumably one clearly documenting the dangers of the nefarious weed named in the title. Nevertheless, the goons at MTV are insisting on — you guessed it — changes to avoid explicit references to or images of (right again!) smoking pot.
This from the network that gave us Jackass?
How to be a Good Media Consumer
I know you’ve been waiting for a way to really appreciate the world’s amazing array of corporate news and media outlets. Fortunately, AlterNet has the answer. Enjoy!
Dept. of Neat Stuff
If you have a DVD player, you really ought to check out NetFlix. The summary: DVD rental by mail via the Internet with NO LATE FEES.
No word yet on its effect on re-enlistment
Apparently, Israel is experimenting with some, er, minimalist uniforms for some soldiers.
More web toys.
It’s sort of a virtual mobile kit. This is distinct from a virtual Mobile kit, which I suppose would involve brackish water and a bad smell.
Dept. of Questionable Dot-Com Business Plans
“I know! We’ll sell kilts to the construction industry!”
Go see this play.
At least if you’re in Houston. Tamalalia 6 is running at Stages through September 8.
Denver Post to Invesco: Drop Dead
Denver-based mutual fund firm Invesco has agreed to pay $60MM over the next 20 years to rename Denver’s Mile High Stadium to Invesco Field. But never mind that; the Denver Post has announced that they’ll ignore the name change and continue to refer to it as Mile High Stadium. Denver’s mayor, while “astonished,” appears to support the move.
I’m not sure if I can express how much I like this.
Um, right.
The degree to which hard-hitting stories about cricket spitting were the motivating factor behind Salon‘s new round of funding is left as an exercise to the reader.
Dept. of Gonads & Strife Redux
I blogged this animation back in July (see archives), but their server went down at some point. (Go figure.) It’s now mirrored on a new server, so if it didn’t work for you the first time, don’t miss it this time.
Dept. of Public Service Announcements
Link updated 30 Aug 01; Thanks, Tom!
What’s your anti-drug?
The Onion has an excellent suggestion.
“Get your hands off me, you damn dirty Dubya”
Excellent Flash animation by Tom Tomorrow: Escape from Planet of the Dubyas!
Dept. of Conflicting Loyalties
I love the South. I really do. For all its flaws and problems, it is my home. Its rhythms and cadences resonate with me in ways I can’t completely explain. Which I suppose is why I’m so pissed off by the behavior of the ignorant slack-jawed yokels among us.
Like, for example, Alabama Supreme Court Justice Roy Moore, the “Ten-Commandments” judge. Moore has, in his infinite wisdom (and arrogance), decided to commission and deploy a 2.5 ton Ten Commandments sculpture/monument for the state courthouse in Montgomery — all without checking with anyone else. Great move, Roy. Way to go.
Most of the discourse I expect about this development will trivialize and marginalize the South as a region, painting us all with a wide brush. Mitch Albom of the Detroit Free Press, though, manages to highlight the absurdity of this (via MSNBC) without resorting to such tactics.
Martha Stewart’s Erotic Diary
You heard me. Go on. Click it. How often do you see a site that includes the term “understated terracotta penis cozy?”
Now Look: I like cats.
But this is just too funny.
You just gotta love Christopher Walken
The Washington Post has a nice, long article on Christopher Walken that includes a few bits I didn’t know (his wife of thirty-odd years is a casting director, most recently on the Sopranos; he’s written a play about Elvis) as well as this quote:
You can’t fool Bugs Bunny. That’s all I have to say. He’s on to everybody.
Even More Wrongness.
We have the Internet to thank for thorough documentation of widespread perversion in the animal kingdom.
See the fat zealot dance!
There are so many things wrong with this that I really don’t know where to begin.
Yet Another Reason to Love The Well
I’m not sure how we ended up talking about Liberace. But this post was the funniest thing I’ve read in weeks. The Well is a 16-year-old online community. It predates the wide availability of the Internet, which means it’s ancient by net standards. I won’t say it’s for everyone, but I certainly enjoy it.
Topic 476 [popcult]: Come out, come out! #234 of 235: well-coiffed and surrounded by finger-pointing attorneys (vard) Thu Aug 2 '01 (18:48) 11 lines When I was a very little girl I was terrified of Liberace. My mother used to carry around a photo of him from a magazine, folded up in her purse, and if I misbehaved in public she would threaten to take it out and make me look at him. It always worked.
The best damn hip-hop act in Mississippi.
No, seriously. I’ve seen him. I own a CD and a t-shirt. He’s great. Check out
Posted in Uncategorized
… it looks like MTV.net.ru has been hacked. (I’m assuming this would ordinarily contain MTV”s Russian mirror site.) It’s garden variety you-corporations-suck stuff, but it’s still kinda funny. GeoCaching.com is a pretty cool idea. I may need a GPS after all. They’re sure not busy. Senior Monkey Correspondent Duke took time away from his busy day to provide us with this bit of foolishness. Pogues? You betcha. Read this. MyPhysicsLab.com is an online resource of controllable animations illustrating springs, pendulums, collisions, and all sorts of other basic and not-so-basic physics phenomena. Cool! (via BoingBoing) Planet of the Apes? Gimmee a break. I’m waiting for the rubber shark version of The Princess Bride. (Warning: 25MB Quicktime) I’ve made a change to the site to reduce (i.e., eliminate) my dependency on somebody else’s (i.e., Blogger, who still don’t have a business plan) servers and software. Miscellaneous Heathen now runs Noah Grey’s Greymatter system. This probably doesn’t matter to anybody except the geeks among you (and you know who you are (and so do I (HDANCN?))), but does have one obvious effect: the default page is now two entries long. If you haven’t come around in a bit, wander over to the archives and check out the old Blogger file for July. There’s some neat stuff. But, then again, I think all this stuff is neat. C’mon, with a title like that, do you really need anything but the link? C’mon — with a title like that, do you really need anything but a link? Here’s a lovely photo of Mt Etna from space. It’s erupting. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! All I can say about this is that, contrary to this example, not everyone in my home state is a goofball. Literary giant Eudora Welty died today in her hometown of Jackson, Mississippi. She was 92. Her literary career includes a Pulitzer Prize (in 1973, for The Optimist’s Daughter) as well as the National Book Critics Award, the American Book Award, several O. Henry awards, and the Medal of Freedom (presented to her by fellow Southerner Jimmy Carter in 1980). The headline for this entry comes from a fan letter of sorts sent to Welty in 1943. At the time, her work was gathering mixed reviews, largely (I’ll wager) because she was writing over the critics’ heads. After William Faulkner had a chance to read “The Robber Bridegroom,” he took it upon himself to send along some encouragement. Doing all right, indeed. Ego Place begs the question “are all Objectivists also dorks?” I don’t think the advertisement referenced here necessarily communicates exactly what Microsoft wants us to think about Office XP. Maybe things are just different in Germany. (Link updated to point to the Register after MS removed the ad from their own servers.) After thirty-odd years, Mr Rogers is hanging up the cardigan. These goons have taken pictures from Oscar-winning films, but with a twist. See if you can figure out the source film. Today, I present a double threat: the fiendishly addictive Snood, and the best damn online golf game you’ve ever seen. Enjoy. Update/Warning:: It has been pointed out to me that Snood for Windows actually installs something else, too, without giving you the option to skip it. This is bad, bad, bad behavior, and there’s no justification for it. Additionally, it has been suggetsed that Snood makes unauthorized use of your Internet connection, though I have not yet verified this claim. Exercise caution. Dialog with the Snood author has been pretty fruitless except that he’s given me a link to a Gator-free version of Snood. Both links here are now to that version. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Christopher Walken Audio Library. People, I just can’t stress this enough. Listen very carefully to me. The life you save may be your own: Remember that stripper/runner who was cut from the Cal State-Fullerton cross country team because of her job choice? They’ve reinstated her, based largely on the fact that they were about to be sued into oblivion. My favorite part of the story is this sentence: I can’t decide if this reminds me more of Thomas Pynchon or Carl Hiaasen. The conventional-wisdom rule demanding celebrity deaths in sets of three has unfortunately claimed 77-year-old guitar legend Chet Atkins. Ubergeek Steve Gibson — of Gibson Research, publishers of one of the coolest pieces of software ever, the original SpinRight — was the victim of a distributed denial of service attack recently (in the vernacular, he “got DDOS’d”). This annoyed him, so he started digging. While his actions in no way protect him from what the true hardcore hacking community could do (a fact he acknowledges completely), his account makes for pretty compelling reading even if you’ve only got a vague notion of how the Internet works (actually, his site includes some basic information on that, too). From a technical standpoint, it’s also pretty damned impressive. Make up your own joke. Yes, boys and girls, it’s time for another. This time, I give you A Frightened Boy, presented by Joel Veitch from the weird folks at RatherGood.com.This can’t last, but…
Asynchronous Scavenger Hunt
What is it they do at Compaq, anyway?
Busy today, ain’t I?
This is just plain neat.
See It Again For the Very First Time
HEY KIDS!
Jet Powered Beer Cooler
Jet Powered Beer Cooler
Perspective, anyone?
Dept. of Gonads and Strife
Update It appears the original server is down. Here is a mirror site. Hey, It’s Summertime
And the living may be easy, but my company’s still in Chapter 11. Maybe that’s why I’m resorting to reruns about shrews. (Flash)
Dept. of WebCam Amputation Sites
“You are doing fine. You are doing all right…”
Oh, those wacky Randroids
Umm, Right.
A not so beautiful day in the neighborhood
The Best Legal Ruling Ever
I just love this.
Dept. of Time Sinks
Creepy and Cool
NoGators July 4th Week Safety Tip
Please be very, very careful where you store your fireworks, especially if you are an idiot.
I love this country.
Meanwhile, Rios continues to dance part-time at Anaheim’s Flamingo Club, a nude juice bar where she earns money to pursue her studies in kinesiology.
John Lee Hooker, Jack Lemmon, and…
Script Kiddies, meet the Pro
Onan goes electric.
Dept. of Wacked Web Animation