And now: Teaching a Komodo Dragon about Supertramp

See, they used to be called Daddy, and were way more of a prog-rock kind of bent — GODDAMMIT LOOK AT ME WHEN I’M TALKING, YOU PREHISTORIC FREAK — until probably around 1973 or so, when they added Bob Siebenberg, among other new members — STOP EATING THE FURNITURE, YOU FUCK — and got signed. In 1974, they had their first hit, which turned out to be one of many — JESUS FUCK YOU STINK, YOU KNOW THAT? — that included 1975’s “Dreamer” and the also-solid B-side “Bloody Well Right.” DO NOT FUCKING BITE THE INTERN! CHRIST! The late 1970s brought their huge hit, “Breakfast in America,” that included the songs anyone who grew up in the 1970s — I’M STARTING TO THINK YOU DON’T REALLY GIVE A SHIT ABOUT SUPERTRAMP, YOU GENETIC THROWBACK — knows by heart, including “The Logical Song,” “Goodbye Stranger,” and “Take the Long Way Home.”

You know what? Fuck this. You and your poison spit can go listen to One Direction for all I care. I’m out.

So, who’s qualified?

I fell down a rabbit hole of Wikipedia research here based on my irritation at the “Harris isn’t qualified” babble from the right.

So, first and self-evidently, she’s qualified. She’s been VP, she’s been a Senator, and she held elected office at the state and local level before that. This is a solid resume, and turns out to be a pretty common path. But! Let’s look at data.

First, let’s talk about VPs

I looked back 100 years, to Coolidge, which means 17 presidents. In that time, 7 former VPs have held the Oval Office:

  • Calvin Coolidge assumed office after Harding, and was elected on his own;
  • Harry Truman assumed office after FDR, and was elected on his own;
  • Lyndon Johnson assumed office after JFK, and was elected on his own;
  • Richard Nixon was Eisenhower’s VP (1953-1961) before being elected on his own in 1968;
  • Gerald Ford assumed office after Nixon resigned, but did not run on his own;
  • George H. W. Bush was Reagan’s VP and was elected after Reagan’s 2nd term; and
  • Joe Biden was Obama’s VP (2009-2017) before being elected on his own in 2020.

This is an interesting set.

VPs who ascend to the Presidency are the majority here, even though it hasn’t happened since 1974: that’s 4 of the 7. Three of those sought their own terms, and won them.

Ford, famously, did not run — and in fact never ran at all, which is wild. He ended up President without a single electoral vote EVER since he was appointed to replace Agnew, and then Nixon resigned. It’s a turn of events worthy of fiction, and in fact I’m pretty sure that “appointed VP and unexpectedly promoted” is how Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan ends up in the White House.

Anyway, one take-away is that assuming office DOES give you a leg up, electorally speaking, since everyone who did so and sought the office on their own won a term.

The other interesting thing is that I would have assume that non-promoted VPs really only have a good shot at election if they run immediately after their president’s term ends, but that’s wrong (well, n=3, so …).

Of the 3 non-promoted VP presidents, only one was elected immediately after his VP term ended (G.H.W. Bush). The other two sat out: Nixon left office in 1961 and didn’t become president until 1969. Biden, of course, sat out the 2016 cycle before running and winning in 2020.

And so: Qualifications

Let’s take as read that the corpus of former presidents gives us a good metric for “what should be on a presidential hopeful’s CV?”

“Was a VP” is the most common former qualification of the last 100 years of presidents (7 of 17, so about 41%).

“Was a Senator” and “Was a Governor” are tied at 6 each (35%).

Former Senators (also a VP indicated by italics)

  • Truman
  • Kennedy
  • Johnson
  • Nixon
  • Obama
  • Biden

Former Governors:

  • Coolidge
  • Roosevelt
  • Carter
  • Reagan
  • G. W. Bush
  • Clinton

If we look at the overall picture of electoral / leadership history, there’s really not that many categories of prior jobs to look at, so it seems reasonable to assign point values and rank ’em.

  • Being VP gets you 5 points.
  • Being a Governor gets you 4
  • Being a Senator gets you 3
  • Being a House rep gets you 2
  • Any other elected office (local or state level) is worth 1
  • Any other significant appointed position (Cabinet posts, ambassadorships, etc) is worth 0.5

That’s an off the cuff ranking, but it’s worth throwing at the wall, right?

Top dog is Coolidge with 13 points. He was VP (5), Governor (4), held 3 state offices (LtGov, Mass. Senate, Mass. House) and 1 local one (Mayor). (Of course, he’s also not considered a very good president, but at least his resume was solid.)

Then we have a 3-way tie at 10:

  • Johnson (VP, Senator, Rep);
  • Nixon (VP, Senator, Rep); and
  • HARRIS (VP, Senator, 2x additional offices)

So, uh, tl;dr?

MAGAts should STFU about her resume. Especially given that the bottom of this list, with zero points, is Orange Jesus. He’s also the only one to score ZERO. We’ve had other presidents with no prior electoral experience, but they typically held executive-level appointments (Hoover, 2, scoring 1 point) or several big-ticket military billets (Eisenhower, who had 3, scoring 1.5).

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One old, one new

I became an uncle for the first time in January of 2006. For a variety of reasons — mostly, I suspect, because phones weren’t cameras and I didn’t get back into photography until a later — the earliest picture I have of her is this, when she’s about 13 months:

IMG 0870

Erin just sent me a new picture of FirstNiece. This is her with her packed car, about to drive away to college:

IMG 7959

Time, man. It’ll get you.

Godspeed, Caroline.