Monthly Archives: April 2009
About that beauty queen’s anti-gay-marriage comments
Why is anyone surprised that someone as self-evidently vapid and useless as a beauty pageant runner-up has absurd and stupid opinions? Good Christ, she probably still believes in the Easter Bunny, and — if her colleagues are any indication — has at best a tenuous command of current events.
Dept. of Bad Pet Ideas
A lovely tale, over at National Geographic, of a man and his bear.
In case you’re horny AND a crystal-gazing greenie
How about a wind-up vibrator, free of all those nasty batteries?
Bait shop.
In Belize. On the beach. No software in bait shops. No airports, either. And only bugs I can physically quash with one flip-flop.
Bait shop.
Sixty.
Arlen Spector has crossed the aisle. When Senator-elect Franken is seated, the Dems will be filibuster-proof.
Clowns, documented
Here We Are In Clowntown, a photo-documentary prominently featuring many Heathen. Enjoy.
The sole official motivational posters of Heathen Central
Not coincidentally, they’re also the only ones we’ve seen with Hunter Thompson on them.
Smart move from Redmond
A previously NDA’d feature of Windows 7 has finally gone public; basically, Win7 comes with a virtualization-based “XP mode” that creates a virtual machine to host any apps that can’t run in a post-XP environment.
The real bonus here is that it allows Microsoft, like Apple before them, to make a break with backward compatibility. OS X was a quantum leap over System 9 precisely because they made no real effort to allow backward compatibility outside a “compatibility box” that was the next best thing to virtualization (since virtualization wasn’t really an option 9 years ago).
Microsoft has, so far, not made the same kind of break with the past, and that’s hamstrung the evolution of the platform. If they do this right, they’ll be able to make the same kind of leap with 7 or whatever comes after 7 that Apple made in 2000.
This is a good thing for everyone; I’m not a huge Windows fan, but I want Microsoft in the race in the same way I want the GOP in the race. Competition is good for everybody.
We’re really sad we didn’t think of this
A California woman decided to have a bit of fun with her ten-year high school reunion, so she hired a stripper to impersonate her as a struggling artist trailed by a film crew working on a “documentary” while she watched from a nearby hotel room and fed the imposter names and anecdotes via a hidden earpiece to sell the scheme.
FanTAStic. She’s shopping the whole thing as a film now.
Now It Can Be Told!
New Frontiers in Suck for Kansas City
Owing apparently to the departure of Northwest from the market, the Kansas City Airport’s C terminal now features ZERO food or drink vendors inside security. Nada. Nothing.
Since there are also no water fountains, it’s impossible to take water aboard a plane. Congrats, MCI, you’re Heathen’s new choice for Suckiest Airport in the Country. Even Jackson, Mississippi, sucks less.
In case you didn’t get it
The implications of the recently released torture memos are fairly deep and significant, but the press at large isn’t boiling it down or providing any real analysis. Fortunately, at least one person is paying attention. Paul Krugman breaks it down for you thusly:
Let’s say this slowly: the Bush administration wanted to use 9/11 as a pretext to invade Iraq, even though Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11. So it tortured people to make them confess to the nonexistent link.
There’s a word for this: it’s evil.
Not much more to say about it, is there? Our government, working in our name, tortured people to get them to admit to things that weren’t true to justify a war unrelated to the assault we suffered on 9/11. And thus far utterly no one has been held accountable.
Who knew there was so much money in being consistently wrong?
Bill “Wrong About Everything” Kristol just won $250K from some conservative group despite being demonstrably wrong just about every time he’s opened his mouth in the last 8 years.
What is wrong with these people?
Don’t take my word for it. Just click.
Wrong and Delicious
Penny Arcade takes on Rock Bank sub-branding.
Dept. of Brief Observations
It seems unreasonable that it takes Butcher like 2 years to write these things, but only takes me a few hours to read them.
Oracle buys Sun
For about seven and a half billion.
Dept. of Alarm Stupids
So, Heathen Central has always had an alarm with these people. Over the weekend, we had enough heavy weather in Houston that we lost our regular phone line, and the alarm started telling us about it by beeping.
Ever ten minutes.
Without stopping.
Clearing the error doesn’t work; it tries the phone line periodically to check, and as soon as the test fails it starts beeping again (unless the alarm is actually ENGAGED at the time, in which case the alarm goes off; this is less charming than beeping).
I called ATT, sure (we don’t actually use ATT for voice; the POTS line exists only for the alarm and failover reasons), but in the meantime what I needed was a way to continue to set and use the alarm, even in the absence of a phone line for monitoring.
Well, it turns out there’s no way to do that, and this is bone fucking stupid. An alarm works on several levels:
- The big ADT sign does some deterrence;
- If some douchebag breaks in and the alarm goes off, there’s a nonzero chance the miscreant will just run away. Someone DID try our (unfortunately unlocked) downstairs patio door at one point, which is on a zero-delay switch. They got it open half an inch and the alarm went nuts; exit bad guys.
- If both of those fail on you, then yes, the alarm DOES use the phone line to alert the monitoring service, and the monitoring service will dispatch the authorities.
By making it impossible to turn off the phone line check (for situations such as the one we’re in), ADT has made the alarm system 100% useless until ATT gets off its ass and fixes my POTS line. Given the power in case #2, above, that’s just dumb.
(Well; the signs still work; call it 95% useless.)
I think it’s probably time to shop for a new alarm system. In a city with a history of heavy weather, a system designed like the one I have seriously needs to get fired.
Why piracy will win in the end
Because, as this Slate piece makes abundantly clear, the movie people are just too bone stupid to realize they have to compete with it.
The days of controlling distribution with arcane contracts and weird periods of artificial scarcity are over. If consumers can’t legally watch what they want to watch when they want to watch it, it’s becoming easier and easier for them to do so in ways that result in zero revenue for the copyright holder. Do the math.
Dept. of Excellent Parties
Anneliese & David eloped, but they had a great party at Treebeard’s anyway.
Something for Tom
We’re pretty sure that certain history buff types in Heathen Nation will enjoy this 22-foot scale model of the Japanese battleship Yamato, which is of course made out of LEGO.
Hey, Erin, I think I’ve found our living room art…
By the way…
…it’s the 66th anniversary of the most interesting bicycle ride EVER.
Albert Hofmann joined the pharmaceutical-chemical department of Sandoz Laboratories (now Novartis), located in Basel as a co-worker with professor Arthur Stoll, founder and director of the pharmaceutical department. He began studying the medicinal plant squill and the fungus ergot as part of a program to purify and synthesize active constituents for use as pharmaceuticals. His main contribution was to elucidate the chemical structure of the common nucleus of Scilla glycosides (an active principal of Mediterranean Squill). While researching lysergic acid derivatives, Hofmann first synthesized LSD-25 in 1938. The main intention of the synthesis was to obtain a respiratory and circulatory stimulant (an analeptic). It was set aside for five years, until April 16, 1943, when Hofmann decided to take another look at it. While re-synthesizing LSD, he accidentally absorbed a small quantity through his fingertips and serendipitously discovered its powerful effects before his bicycle ride home.
Shocking, a United Airlines policy change that doesn’t suck
It’s irrelevant to Houston-based Heathen, but it sounds like being squeezed into the bulkhead by a supersized seatmate is a thing of the past on United. Consumerist has the story:
Starting today, United Airlines has a new policy. If you can’t fit into a single seat, you need to buy another one or stay behind.
In order to fly for no extra charge, passengers now have to be able to sit in a single seat, buckle their seat belt (with an extender) and put the arm rests down. If you can’t do this, you’re going to need to buy another ticket — unless there is already a seat available with another open seat next to it.
And now, the Bacon Lance
“I used prosciutto (Italian for ‘expensive bacon’) because it is a superior engineering grade of meat.” (Via Rob)
(The whole Greymatter subsite there is fantastic; he also hotrods a Weber to make his own glass, which means putting about 2,000 degrees in a kettle grill. Delightful.)
“With 5,000 kilometers ahead of him, he’s heading for certain death.”
Via Siege, we find the sad tale of an insane penguin, narrated (naturally) by Werner Herzog. (2:27 Youtube)
Today’s weird Internet find
Brilliant and Cool, but what’s it for?
Dept. of SF films Mrs Heathen will go see with me
Moon, as it stars Sam Rockwell.
They don’t really want what they say they want
Or, why restating the problem can be the best possible thing you can do. The context of the link is software development, but upon reflection it turns out that there’s pretty much always some benefit to be had by turning the problem around a few times.
(Of course, my answer to the actual dilemma linked would’ve been “join,” but that’s because I think in Perl.)
Ah, Cilantro
I like it, but this guy really really loves it.
Um.
This is so wrong I have no idea what to tell you. It is, however, safe for work. And both snuggie- and baby-related. So click.
Nightpeeps
It’s that time of year again. The Washington Post’s annual peep diorama contest is always fun, but this year the winner is completely over the top. (Via Mrs Heathen.)
Andy Sullivan Gives The Smackdown
This time, the victims are the TeaPartyTards. Check it out.
I spent the better part of an hour earlier today scanning the various sites and blogs to try and understand what specifically the Fox-Pajamas tea parties are about. Having absorbed about as much of the literature as I can, I have to say I’m still befuddled.
Option 1: It’s a protest of the bank bailouts orchestrated by Bush and now Obama. But surely these tea-partiers understand what would happen if we didn’t bail the banks out. Are they advocating letting major banks fail? Or are they advocating a Krugman-style government take-over? No idea.
Option 2: It’s a protest against tax hikes. But there have barely been any! Are they arguing that the planned return to Clinton era marginal rates is an outrage worthy of the colonists … only months after an election in which the winning candidate ran on exactly that platform?
Nice. As Jon Stewart said earlier this week, all these hysterical wingnuts seem to have confused “tyranny” with “losing.”
This is the coolest thing EVER
Pervasive computing is getting there, but the problem right now is that getting to the cloud of data involves the awkward process of hauling out your phone or laptop and doing a manual query. What if you didn’t have to, and what if you could solve the problem without spending more than $400?
I can’t possibly explain how cool this is. Just go watch.
(Yes, the MIT Media Lab is made of WIN.)
Local Boys (and Girl) Make Good
Recent Heathen fave neighborhood restaurant Feast has just bagged some national press from NYT’s Frank Bruni. How cool is that?
Wacky. Who knew?
Turns out, Louis CK is a giant camera nerd, and also a pretty compelling blogger — the entry linked here is one of several he wrote about performing via the USO for troops in Iraq.
It’s a terrible idea. I must have it.
Don’t you want a Royal Enfield Military 500 motorcycle? Holy cow, it’s only like six large, too.
Catan goes Mainstream
Have you played Settlers of Catan yet? The German-made game has become a global hit; my guess is Heathen Nation probably has a higher percentage of gamers — and thus folks who’ve seen it — than the public at large, but it’s interesting that Wired has noticed. It’s also interesting that Wired’s notice feels late despite the fact that I’ve seen no other mass-media treatment of it yet.
I got nothin’ today
So how about a cannonball floating in mercury?
Godspeed, Lord Pomplemoose
Longtime Heathen “Attorney” writes to inform us of the untimely passing of the Chief Mastiff Correspondent Pomplemoose, late of the Sue Barnett district of Heathenstan. Here he is, all ten stone of him, enjoying his native Texas Bluebonnets.
Pomplemoose was not yet 10 when he bounded off this mortal coil on Tuesday, quite unexpectedly. We’ll miss him, as we know all the Acostas will as well — particularly Miss ~.
Why the AP is doomed
Two from Jeffrey McManus.
The AP’s power used to flow from their role as a syndicator — they would hook up any member newsroom with a communications cable (the literal “news wire”) through which stories and other content would flow. Now that newsrooms (and every single other person on the planet) has a better wire called the internet, there may be no good reason for the AP to exist in its role as a syndicator, except for inertia. To put it in economic terms, it is a classic example of an inefficient marketplace.
the AP’s chairman decried the practice of aggregators linking to and excerpting AP content and got into some rather nasty name-calling (backed up by a Wall Street Journal executive who referred to “certain web sites” (cough Google) as “parasites”). Danny Sullivan had an excellent response in which he suggested that if the news services didn’t want Google’s attention, they’ve always had a simple way to reject it (through a file that bans search engines called robots.txt). But they won’t do this, of course, which is the reason why they’re now resorting to public whining and name-calling — it’s all they’ve got left. Traditional news businesses are stuck in a bear trap called the internet, and they can’t decide whether to saw their own legs off or slowly bleed to death.
See ya, AP.
What’s the matter with Kansas
Found on stall floor in client restroom: printouts from the Ayn Rand Institute. Ah, randroid wingnuts.
(Of course, it’s possible the sheets were meant for sanitary use, which would be appropriate if ill-advised; the client’s choice of paper products in said restroom is perfectly reasonable.)
Now THAT’s some railfanning
Austrian railfan and more-intrepid-than-I traveler took a train trip from Vienna to Pyongyang. Whoa.
It was either this or the Dell
Don’t you want a Commodore 64 laptop? You know you do.
HAHAHAHA
It appears Microsoft is just not quite able to kill XP after all; leaked HP memos suggest that zombie OS may live on until 2010, nearly nine years after its 2001 release.
For reference, nine years prior to XP’s release, we were all using Windows 3.1 (b. 18 March 1992) — or we were, if we weren’t still using DOS.
This Just In
Turns out, if you ignore threats to your business model with halfassed responses to innovation on multiple fronts, well, you just may end up screwed.
Best news I’ve heard all day
MTV’s The State may finally hit DVD this summer.
Dept. of Good Things
Adults who love each other can now get married in Iowa no matter what plumbing they have.
From the unanimous Iowa supreme court ruling:
“We are firmly convinced that the exclusion of gay and lesbian people from the institution of civil marriage does not substantially further any important governmental objective,” the court said in an opinion written by Justice Mark Cady. “The legislature has excluded a historically disfavored class of persons from a supremely important civil institution without a constitutionally sufficient justification.”