This is hilarious and very on-target. Playwright and actor Wallace Shawn has a hypothetical dialog between the U.S. and its therapist in The Nation. (Hard to believe it’s the same guy who played Vizzini the Sicillian in The Princess Bride, isn’t it?)
Monthly Archives: December 2001
Dept. of Idiots at Airlines
Tell me again how we’re not engaging in racial profiling, okay? This is absurd.
Dept. of Creeping Fascism
Please read this. Memo to FBI: Being outspoken in opposition to policies and practices of the government is not treason, nor is it reason to intimidate citizens, nor is it, really, any of your business. In many respects, it could actually be called patriotic — I see it as certainly moreso than empty jingoism. The freedom to state views contrary to the ruling party’s is a core value of our nation, and ought not be trod upon in the name of “fighting terrorism.”
Dept. of Incredibly Cool Stuff
Agent Mantler calls our attention to the Bruce Lee Remixer. Make sure your sound is turned up.
Dept. of Stuff You Should Care About
Copy protection for CD’s is coming, and it will pretty much eliminate fair use. The Wall Street Journal is running a story about this — a story that comes down solidly against copy-proofing.
You’d think this alone would give the RIAA pause, but that seems unlikely.
Dept. of Lines Taken Out Of Context
Dept. of Those Wacky Japanese
None of you — except maybe Rick — is prepared for this.
That Pesky God Particle
Many of you, I’m sure, have followed with relish the admission by certain high-energy physicists recently that the long-theorized and much-depended-upon yet never-actually-observed Higgs Boson (a.k.a. the “God” particle) may well not exist after all. This is a problem for subatomic physics, you see, because it is the Higgs that gives all particles mass. If it doesn’t exist — and they can’t seem to find it, and they’ve looked everywhere — then the whole of particle theory will have to be reworked, resting as it has largely on something that they now concede may be as imaginary as the Easter Bunny (sorry, Chris).
I contacted NoGators Physics Correspondent Emeritus Finch for comment, who says:
Don’t let those high-energy physicists fool you with their apoplectic despondency; they are relishing the opportunity to start from scratch, [and are] making up new particles as needed to replace the legendary Higgs boson. And as for not having mass, don’t tell the diet and fitness experts; this is their most lucrative time of year.
In closing, she notes that this is, in all fairness, far afield of her studies in chemical physics:
My knowledge of high energy physics is limited to believing the whole lot of them are on crack.
So there you have it. |*|
Up on the house-top, the reindeer pause…
…out jumps dear old Santa Carl?
(Remember, kids, always use a safety line when hanging Christmas lights. Yours truly (l) may or may not be available for belay.)
Dept. of Web Tests
Which James Bond Villain are you? According to them, if I were a James Bond villain, I would be Francisco Scaramanga. I enjoy good food, monopolising the world’s energy supplies, and sex before assassinating people. I am played by Christopher Lee in The Man with the Golden Gun.
And, while you’re at it, take the surreal test.
Dept. of Missing the Point
For some reason, KPMG thinks it has the right to control who may link to any portion of their site, and is sending letters to folks who don’t have a “link agreement” with them insisting that the links be removed (I wonder when I’ll get mine?). The web community at large is, of course, treating this with precisely the amount of respect it deserves.
Oh, Good Grief.
If he can get away with this, just exactly what was the problem with that Oval Office hanky-panky a few years back? At least Monica was a GIRL, for God’s sake.
Dept. of My Next Car
According to sources familiar with the issue, rapper Snoop Dogg is in talks with Cadillac to co-brand his own line of cars. If there is any justice in the universe, this will turn out to be true.