Dept. of Creeping Fascism

Please read this. Memo to FBI: Being outspoken in opposition to policies and practices of the government is not treason, nor is it reason to intimidate citizens, nor is it, really, any of your business. In many respects, it could actually be called patriotic — I see it as certainly moreso than empty jingoism. The freedom to state views contrary to the ruling party’s is a core value of our nation, and ought not be trod upon in the name of “fighting terrorism.”

That Pesky God Particle

Many of you, I’m sure, have followed with relish the admission by certain high-energy physicists recently that the long-theorized and much-depended-upon yet never-actually-observed Higgs Boson (a.k.a. the “God” particle) may well not exist after all. This is a problem for subatomic physics, you see, because it is the Higgs that gives all particles mass. If it doesn’t exist — and they can’t seem to find it, and they’ve looked everywhere — then the whole of particle theory will have to be reworked, resting as it has largely on something that they now concede may be as imaginary as the Easter Bunny (sorry, Chris).

I contacted NoGators Physics Correspondent Emeritus Finch for comment, who says:

Don’t let those high-energy physicists fool you with their apoplectic despondency; they are relishing the opportunity to start from scratch, [and are] making up new particles as needed to replace the legendary Higgs boson. And as for not having mass, don’t tell the diet and fitness experts; this is their most lucrative time of year.

In closing, she notes that this is, in all fairness, far afield of her studies in chemical physics:

My knowledge of high energy physics is limited to believing the whole lot of them are on crack.

So there you have it. |*|

Dept. of Missing the Point

For some reason, KPMG thinks it has the right to control who may link to any portion of their site, and is sending letters to folks who don’t have a “link agreement” with them insisting that the links be removed (I wonder when I’ll get mine?). The web community at large is, of course, treating this with precisely the amount of respect it deserves.