According to the Work Nickname Generator, behind my back my coworkers call me “Sir Drinks-a-lot.”

Or, rather, they would. If I had coworkers. (heh).

Intrepid NoGators Legal Correspondant Thomas P. sends the following link which helps explain why I’ve always been vaguely suspicious of soccer.

The famed British newsmagazine is running a certain correction in its current print and online editions. It reads

In the issues of December 16th 2000 to November 10th 2001, we may have given the impression that George Bush had been legally and duly elected president of the United States. We now understand that this may have been incorrect, and that the election result is still too close to call. The Economist apologises for any inconvenience.

Heh.|*|

The folks at Modern Humorist have raised the bar.

Your name, carved in cheese. And what better way to cap the meal than with a nice, cheesy smoke?

My old neighbors would have loved this.

Brace yourself: layoffs at Graceland.

I was gonna post something today, but I got distracted.

Well, not really. But I’m not the only one in this boat right now.

This is a picture of my brother and I with Mimi, my mother’s mother. She died today. She was 84.

Where is YOUR birthday in Pi? Mine occurs at the 81,172nd digit. Find yours.

Somehow, “ pumpkin carving” doesn’t seem to be adequate to describe this.

A minute-long Lego-based parody version of 2001. Yes.

I’m all for being safe, but bullshit like this scares the hell out of me.

Yvonne, she gots a lizard.

It may just be that I’m unemployed, but this just makes me giggle. Imagine a whole cube farm with this page loaded.

But it makes me laugh, and The Unemployed like to laugh.

…but I can certainly find better stuff to do than this. Taken alone, this may be the best indictment of homeschooling I’ve yet heard.

…the idea of these people seems oddly compelling.

It looks like I just joined the dot-com downturn. By “looks like,” I mean the regional president of my employer just closed the Houston office, which means I’m — and I love this phrase — “at liberty.”

It was fun while it lasted.

Excellent analysis and background on the culture of the Taliban in today’s San Francisco Chronicle.

We’ve all heard the jokes about Chevy selling the Nova (“no va”) in Mexico, about Pepsi’s ill-fated “bite the wax tadpole” slogan in China, and some of us even remember Reebok’s stunningly ill-reserached sneaker name (hint: do not name women’s footware after rapist demons). Some of these may even be true. Scott Ian has a different – but related – problem.

CitySearch.com still has an interactive view-from-atop-the-WTC page. It’s kind of creepy, and kind of sad, but worth a look. It’ll be quite some time before you can see this again in the real world.

There’s a reason we have three branches of government here. Check out what’s being proposed in the wake of September 11, and make sure your congressional weasels know how you feel.

Number 1: bin Laden supporters include photos of their man pulled from the ‘net with insufficient attention to detail or source – to wit, they appear to include Bert in the background, suggesting they’re cribbed from the by-now-tired meme of Bert-Is-Evil (via BoingBoing).

Number 2: Memento. If you haven’t seen this film, do so immediately. I know I’m late to this party, but it’s been a long, long time since I’ve been as impressed by a film as I was by this one.

Number 3: Online techno/dance tracks via GrooveTech.com, courtesy of longtime Heathen Rob. Check out Derrick May, Colin Dale, and Aril Brikha via their searchable, streamable archives.

We have Agent Mantler to thank for this.

This is funny.

Concerned about the bandwidth implications of hosting the previous entry, I went over to my hosting company’s site to figure out my quota. I got a little surprise. It appears they also host the site for The Bingham Group, a firm until recently run by Mark Bingham. Bingham was on United Flight 93 — the one that crashed in Pennsylvania — and is thought to have been the leader of the group of passengers who overpowered their hijackers after hearing about the events in New York.

You think for a minute or an hour or a day that you’ve gotten past this thing, that you’re too far from it, and then you discover you aren’t.

This is something you might remember if you grew up in the 80’s. (Careful: 22MB mpeg)

You’re in luck.

Kansas state legislator Kay O’Connor has, bizarrely, voiced her opinion that women’s suffrage is a mistake — this while speaking at a League of Women Voters meeting.

I’d like to take this opportunity once again to thank Kansas for reminding the rest of the country that idiots are not unique to the South.

Go on. You know you want to look.

The good folks at The Onion have returned from their 9-11-imposed hiatus with an issue devoted to WTC-related topics, including the sidebar headline “Jerry Falwell: Is That Guy A Dick Or What?” They, like Jon Stewart and David Letterman, remind us that laughter is theraputic. Enjoy. And don’t miss the TV listings.

Ethan Coen, in addition to being one half of a truly extraordinary filmmaking duo (with his brother, Joel), is apparently also a poet; his dirty limericks appear in Nerve this week.

(Excerpted from his upcoming book The Drunken Driver Has the Right of Way.)

The Times reports evidence of a fairly wide conspiracy to create fake identies for terrorists — and murders to supply said. Chilling.

As a Southerner, I have more than a passing familiarity with kudzu, the ubiquitous vine transplanted to the American South in an effort to combat erosion. Like most other such efforts, it backfired — in the lush heat and humidity of Mississippi, kudzu’s growth can be measured in feet per day. It’s been called “a vegetable form of cancer,” among other things, as it overwhelms surrounding vegetation and cloaks buildings and cars in a green net of vines.

Of course, now it turns out that you can eat it. And by “you,” I mean people other than me.

The good folks at ESPN have given Dr Hunter S. Thompson a bully pulpit for some time now — he’s got a column that runs on Mondays that still shows flashes of the brilliance that punctuates his career. And, of course, he’s by no means silent on the events of last week.

Read this, and you never need listen to a politician speaking after a tragedy again.

I’ve become a one-trick pony in the wake of last week’s attacks, but there suddenly doesn’t seem much to be clever or witty about. Bear with me.

Last night, on his first program back after last week’s horror, David Letterman opened with a long, serious monologue about the situation. It’s very, very good and very, very strong. If you’ve got a good connection, go right now over the CBS site and check out the area for The Late Show. There’s a clip (RealPlayer) available under DaveTV – Big Show Highlight; I have no idea how long they’ll keep it up, but try and see it. If you can’t for some reason, at least read this unofficial transcript someone posted at the Well, purportedly from alt.fan.letterman. It appears to be accurate, but it’s definitely a weak sister to the actual clip.

Suck‘s 30 October 2000 column about the bombing of the Cole is both prescient and compelling, especially the discussion of Marshall’s book.

In other news, this purports to be a reasonably recent table of the tallest buildings in the world, though it’s at least partly out of date (Texas Commerce Tower in Houston isn’t called that anymore). I can’t vouch for its accuracy, but I assume it contains a bit of fact.

The BBC has this story that includes both pre- and post-attack 1-meter satellite shots of lower Manhattan. (via MetaFilter)

I’ve gotten this from several of you. It’s a photo page of world reactions to the Trade Center bombing, and it’s genuinely moving. As a child of the Cold War, the Kremlin’s flags at half mast was a particularly resonant image for me.

The events of 11 September are undeniably the most horrible for our country – and the world – in recent memory. On the Well, people have been posting that so-and-so’s checked in, that this person or that person are okay, and even though I don’t know them I breathe a sigh of relief.

The people at MadeByNick.com offer this photo as a show of online unity, for whatever it’s worth, and I figure it can’t hurt.

Giant Flounder Penis (yes) provides us with key assets for doing business in the New Economy: to wit, the Mission Statement Generator.

The scary part is that they’re not all obviously jokes. Somewhere, there’s an MBA hitting the “reload” button over and over…

Aerial photos of Burning Man. Cool.

Jon Carroll does not lie.

NoGators Senior Political Correspondent L. Payne. sends us this. Enjoy.

There’s a reason why there was never a French version of MacGyver.

This is just plain wacked.

If you don’t — or even if you think you do — check out this story in the New York Times. It’s an excellent rundown of why we need them, what the privacy concerns are, and how you can protect yourself from abuses.