Category Archives: Uncategorized

Dept. of Navel-Gazing Redux

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After I posted the prior entry, I emailed my brother to tease him about his firm being the 23rd most frequent visiting domain for us here at NoGators. In reply, he says:

I’m proud to be 23rd. And, with a renewed faith in America and solid belief in the ideals that make this nation strong, I know we can move to 22d and then maybe 21st before we know it! This, my friends , is your call to arms! Only a can-do attitude will survive the treacherous slings and arrows of internet visitation placement but we can win! Go! Fight! Win!

Okay, kids. You know who you are. Shouldn’t you be writing briefs or something?

Dept. of Navel-gazing

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I’ve just reviewed the Nogators stats for August, and something weird shows up. I’m used to seeing all manner of ISP originating domains, but #12 on the hit parade last month was gov.au. Who are you?

Dept. of Nutjobs, Political Division

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Houston-area attorney and crank John Worldpeace (his name was Kenneth Wolter until 1988) is running for governor of Texas. Oh boy. He’s also enlisted the aid of a telephone solicitation firm, so every few days I get another long burst of screed on my answering machine. He’s also actively endorsing non-nutjob Houston mayoral candidate Chris Bell, who in turn is trying to get Worldpeace to stop drumming up votes for him in his phone messages. I can’t imagine why.

“Great movie. Loved the music. Congrats on the awards. Now pay up.”

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Oscar-winning documentary-maker and guitar player Ry Cooder is being shaken down for $25,000 by our lovely government on account o’ him spending time and money in Cuba — while making the Buena Vista Social Club, which of course subsequently won all sorts of awards (I’m guessing director Wim Wenders is also being fined). It seems you still need permission of the US government to spend money there. Never mind all that claptrap about bringing people together, or illustrating what a fool’s errand the embargo is, of course. Wow.

This is just cool.

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Scientists have discovered that certain types of brittlestars heretofore believed to be blind due to a wholesale lack of eyes (go figure) are in fact all eyes. Somehow, they use the beadlike crystals that make up their external skeltons to create one big compound eye. Neat.

Something else to worry about.

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Someday, eruptions in the Canary Islands could create enormous tidal waves that threaten much of the Atlantic coast. This may be the first actual reason to consider the midwest as a vacation spot.

Correction: Longtime Arrant Knave Joe M., late of Iowa, writes:

I can’t be more adamant here….there is absolutely no good reason to visit the midwest. I would take death by an enormous wall of water over waking up one more day in this godforsaken hell hole. Please inform the rest of the Arrant Knaves.

We stand corrected. NoGators regrets the error.

This Just In: Dogs and the Internet Banned!

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By now, we’ve all gotten used to the weird fundamentalist thrashes foisted on the Afghani people by the Taliban; this time around, they’ve banned the Internet, which I figure means precisely squat in a country with virtually no technological infrastructure. Though I’m sure it will help with their educational trouble.

But Iran isn’t Afghanistan, and moderate forces seem to be making progress there. Of course, they’re still working through their issues with dogs.

At the risk of being culturally insensitive: Wow.

Afroman Redux

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The aforementioned Afroman, Mississippi hip-hop legend, has a hit on his hands with “Because I Got High.” Of course, loyal Heathen knew about him several weeks ago, but the single is climbing the charts in the wake of its inclusion on the Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back soundtrack. It’s a charming ditty with lyrics like

I messed up my entire life because I got high
I lost my kids and wife because I got high
now I’m sleeping on the sidewalk and I know why
because I got high, because I got high, because I got high.

Of course, the next step is a video, presumably one clearly documenting the dangers of the nefarious weed named in the title. Nevertheless, the goons at MTV are insisting on — you guessed it — changes to avoid explicit references to or images of (right again!) smoking pot.

This from the network that gave us Jackass?

Dept. of Conflicting Loyalties

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I love the South. I really do. For all its flaws and problems, it is my home. Its rhythms and cadences resonate with me in ways I can’t completely explain. Which I suppose is why I’m so pissed off by the behavior of the ignorant slack-jawed yokels among us.

Like, for example, Alabama Supreme Court Justice Roy Moore, the “Ten-Commandments” judge. Moore has, in his infinite wisdom (and arrogance), decided to commission and deploy a 2.5 ton Ten Commandments sculpture/monument for the state courthouse in Montgomery — all without checking with anyone else. Great move, Roy. Way to go.

Most of the discourse I expect about this development will trivialize and marginalize the South as a region, painting us all with a wide brush. Mitch Albom of the Detroit Free Press, though, manages to highlight the absurdity of this (via MSNBC) without resorting to such tactics.

Yet Another Reason to Love The Well

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I’m not sure how we ended up talking about Liberace. But this post was the funniest thing I’ve read in weeks. The Well is a 16-year-old online community. It predates the wide availability of the Internet, which means it’s ancient by net standards. I won’t say it’s for everyone, but I certainly enjoy it.

Topic 476 [popcult]:  Come out, come out!
#234 of 235: well-coiffed and surrounded by finger-pointing attorneys (vard) 
Thu Aug  2 '01 (18:48)    11 lines

When I was a very little girl I was terrified of Liberace.

My mother used to carry around a photo of him from a magazine, folded up
in her purse, and if I misbehaved in public she would threaten to take it
out and make me look at him.

It always worked.

HEY KIDS!

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I’ve made a change to the site to reduce (i.e., eliminate) my dependency on somebody else’s (i.e., Blogger, who still don’t have a business plan) servers and software.

Miscellaneous Heathen now runs Noah Grey’s Greymatter system. This probably doesn’t matter to anybody except the geeks among you (and you know who you are (and so do I (HDANCN?))), but does have one obvious effect: the default page is now two entries long.

If you haven’t come around in a bit, wander over to the archives and check out the old Blogger file for July. There’s some neat stuff. But, then again, I think all this stuff is neat.

Miscellaneous Archives

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In Which We View, Study, and Reflect Upon the Accumulated Heathen

2005

    <ul>
      <li><a href="/2005/03/">March 2005</a></li>
      <li><a href="/2005/02/">February 2005</a></li>
      <li><a href="/2005/01/">January 2005</a></li>
      <li><a href="/2005/">All 2005 Entries</a></li>
    </ul>

  <h3>2004</h3>
    <ul>
      <li><a href="/2004/12/">December 2004</a></li>
      <li><a href="/2004/11/">November 2004</a></li>
      <li><a href="/2004/10/">October 2004</a></li>
      <li><a href="/2004/09/">September 2004</a></li>
      <li><a href="/2004/08/">August 2004</a></li>
      <li><a href="/2004/07/">July 2004</a></li>
      <li><a href="/2004/06/">June 2004</a></li>
      <li><a href="/2004/05/">May 2004</a></li>
      <li><a href="/2004/04/">April 2004</a></li>
      <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2004/03/">March 2004</a></li>
      <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2004/02/">February 2004</a></li>
      <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2004/01/">January 2004</a></li>
      <li><a href="/2004/">All 2004 Entries</a></li>
    </ul>

  <h3>2003</h3>
  <ul>
    <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2003/12/">December 2003</a></li>
    <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2003/11/">November 2003</a></li>
    <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2003/10/">October 2003</a></li>
    <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2003/09/">September 2003</a></li>
    <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2003/08/">August 2003</a></li>
    <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2003/07/">July 2003</a></li>
    <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2003/06/">June 2003</a></li>
    <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2003/05/">May 2003</a></li>
    <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2003/04/">April 2003</a></li>
    <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2003/03/">March 2003</a></li>
    <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2003/02/">February 2003</a></li>
    <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2003/01/">January 2003</a></li>
    <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2003/">All 2003 Entries</a></li>
  </ul>

  <h3>2002</h3>
  <ul>
    <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2002/12/">December 2002</a></li>
    <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2002/11/">November 2002</a></li>
    <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2002/10/">October 2002</a></li>
    <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2002/09/">September 2002</a></li>
    <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2002/08/">August 2002</a></li>
    <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2002/07/">July 2002</a></li>
    <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2002/06/">June 2002</a></li>
    <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2002/05/">May 2002</a></li>
    <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2002/04/">April 2002</a></li>
    <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2002/03/">March 2002</a></li>
    <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2002/02/">February 2002</a></li>
    <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2002/01/">January 2002</a></li>
    <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2001/">All 2002 Entries</a></li>
  </ul>

  <h3>2001</h3>
  <ul>
    <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2001/12/">December 2001</a></li>
    <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2001/11/">November 2001</a></li>
    <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2001/10/">October 2001</a></li>
    <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2001/09/">September 2001</a></li>
    <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2001/08/">August 2001</a></li>
    <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2001/07/">July 31, 2001</a></li>
    <li><a href="http://mischeathen.com/2001/">July 31 - December 31, 2001</a></li>
  </ul>

<h3>Blogger Archives</h3>



  Before Greymatter (7/31/01 - 9/03) and Blosxom (9/03 - present), I used Blogger. These files are too much of a pain in the ass to convert, but the content is still there. Enjoy. N.B. that these current reside back at nogators.com, not here at miscellaneousheathen.com.

  <h3>2001</h3>
  <ul>
    <li><a href="/blogger/2001_07_01_archive.html">July 2001</a></li>
    <li><a href="/blogger/2001_06_01_archive.html">June 2001</a></li>
    <li><a href="/blogger/2001_05_01_archive.html">May 2001</a></li>
    <li><a href="/blogger/2001_04_01_archive.html">April 2001</a></li>
    <li><a href="/blogger/2001_03_01_archive.html">March 2001</a></li>
    <li><a href="/blogger/2001_02_01_archive.html">February 2001</a></li>
    <li><a href="/blogger/2001_01_01_archive.html">January 2001</a></li>
  </ul>

  <h3>2000</h3>
  <ul>
    <li><a href="/blogger/2000_12_01_archive.html">December 2000</a></li>
    <li><a href="/blogger/2000_11_01_archive.html">November 2000</a></li>
  </ul>