Guys, I’m sorry, but it turns out crocodiles can climb trees. Govern yourself accordingly.
This excellent and exhaustive MeFi post includes a wealth of links to some old National Lampoon recorded comedy bits, including the (to my mind unequalled) Mister Rogers spoof (with Christopher Guest!) that sent us all into hysterics when we listened clandestinely at Boy Scout camp 35 years ago.
Considering the era, this stuff was immensely transgressive comedy; take a while and sample. It’s fucking hilarious.
Because he is awesome.
This is pretty awesome.
The house at 3215 Wade Avenue, about 15 minutes from downtown Raleigh, looks just like the rest of the houses in that neighborhood. A nice metal roof. Forest green window shutters. Doric columns line the front porch.
But there’s no driveway out front. And the lights are never on. And there’s no walkway to the front door.
Of course, none of those amenities are necessary, because this house is not a house at all.
…how about a rundown of Green Arrow’s more ridiculous projectiles?
Three words: Fake. Cat. Arrow.
A domestic dispute over space aliens escalated Saturday morning when a lingerie-clad New Mexico woman allegedly pointed a silver handgun at her boyfriend, a weapon she retrieved from her vagina.
No, really. Even better, of course: the woman is Cormac McCarthy’s ex-wife, which led Gawker to pen this fantastic bit:
Aliens. Spacealiens. No such thing. How theyd fought it out, cosmic mysteries reduced to raw shouting in the uncaring morning. Her leaving in wrath and now returning, straight into the bedroom without him. Rustling and thumps.
She was in the doorway. She had stripped in there and dressed her body for the boudoir, soft ladyclothes baring flesh and something more, down at the forking of her legs. Hard nickelplate steel, the Smith & Wesson. Her hand was on it.
There’s more. Go read.
MOOSE FARM MOOSE FARM MOOSE FARM MOOSE FARM MOOSE FARM MOOSE FARM MOOSE FARM MOOSE FARM MOOSE FARM MOOSE FARM MOOSE FARM MOOSE FARM
In the early years of the last century, the U.S. Congress considered a bold and ingenious plan that would simultaneously solve two pressing problems — a national meat shortage and a growing ecological crisis. The plan was this: hippopotamus ranching.
None of these will work, but they’re kind of brilliant anyway.
25 Gifts for Writers seems pretty spot-on.
Why I Am Leaving New York City has been open in my browser for months, but it still needs sharing.
Last year my building went co-op after it was bought out by a representative of the Unseelie Court. They turned the super into a burning brand and replaced him with Robin Goodfellow, a large, hairy man with a tail who performs housework in exchange for a saucer of milk and a place in front of the fire. He is the son of a witch and the Devil and he still hasn’t fixed my radiator even though I put in a written request in September.
This gentleman would like to speak with you about trucks.
On the other hand, he’s an elephant.
I HAVE FOUND THE BEST PAGE ON THE WHOLE GODDAMN WEB:
It’s Wikipedia’s List of Fictional Badgers.
Try the Gangsta Party Line. NSFW.
Because, you know, that’s exactly what I think of when I think of deodorant.
The Hyperrealistic Sculptures of Ron Mueck are pretty amazing.
FOR SALE: 2-story 1970s Las Vegas home, complete with 15,200 underground basement finished as an entirely extra three-bedroom home. The lower home is fit for a king, or a hobbit king anyway: fake “yard”, swimming pool, putting green, BBQ grill, 360-degree mural approximating an outdoor view, and even “exterior” lighting to simulate sunset, day, or night — all 26 feet below ground. And it could be yours for the low, low price of $1.7MM.
It’s been a long time since I was this sorry I’m not stupid rich.
The Benedict Cumberbatch Name Generator is high on the list.
If I had a page over there, I’d just reblog this. As it is, I have to link like some kind of animal.
No what are we gonna do?
Turns out, there is such a thing as flying snakes. You’re welcome.
From my long-overflowing mailbox: “FAQ: The ‘Snake Fight’ Portion of Your Thesis Defense.”
As of today, it has been a year since Achewood updated.
I kinda want to drink in the 1860s bar.
That question: “Are birthdays distributed evenly throughout the year, or are people more likely to be born in certain months?”
IO9 has part of the answer, via a heat map by NPR’s Matt Stiles that, in turn, was based on a table published in the NY Times showing the rank, in terms of births per day, of each date in the year (using US birth data, 1973-1999).
That’s interesting and all, but it leaves out a key bit of data: What’s the actual birth volume per day? I’d expect some minimal variation — no data set is perfectly even — but the ranking really only interesting if there’s meaningful variance.
Stiles noticed, and so his follow-up post shows as much birth volume data as he could get his hands on. The answer turns out to be that while September remains the most popular month in which to be born, it’s not by a meaningful margin. Generally speaking, the birthdays really ARE more or less evenly distributed.
Several of you have suggested that the Oatmeal’s discussion of the mantis shrimp was Heathen-worthy, and we agree. Enjoy.
As brilliant an idea as is, we cannot take credit for the creepy clown statue just off a hiking trail in Florida.
GeoGuesser will destroy you. Can you beat my best score?
The Onion: not just for fake journalism anymore.
You people are lucky I’m too busy today to install this.