This crow is snowboarding. No, really. Via MeFi.
Monthly Archives: January 2012
Yes. Yes. Yes. YES YES YES
“I’ll be out back. I’m going to find a tree to chop down..”
In theaters May 2012.
Dear Snapple: DIAGF
Seriously. You motherfuckers are completely craven, awful, terrible people who should be run out of town on rails, tarred, and feathered.
The Times Wonders If It Should Do Its Job
Remember how, in the past, journalists routinely called out public figures who said things that just weren’t true, and that were trivially proved false? Yeah, that was awesome. Back then, we called it “journalism” when, in an article about John Doe quotes him as saying “the sky is green,” the reporter inserted a note stating that the sky is in fact blue.
This wasn’t controversial. Of course, that was also before ninnyhammer right-wing douchebags started insisting they had their own set of facts.
In this op ed, the Times’ public editor Arthur Brisbane wonders if they should engage in what he terms “being a truth vigilante.”
I’m looking for reader input on whether and when New York Times news reporters should challenge “facts” that are asserted by newsmakers they write about.
The most WTF moment in the article comes here: “Is it possible to be objective and fair when the reporter is choosing to correct one fact over another?”
A reporter cannot correct “one fact over another.” Only one fact is true. Fact checking is not vigilantism. Fact checking is a public service.
Hey, Arthur? How about you sack up and do your fucking job and stop the descent of journalism into a pit of PR?
HEADDESKBANG
This, at least, is good news
Balko: DOJ Urges Federal Court To Protect the RIght to Record Police
Basically, the Federal government is siding against local police and with a citizen over the issue of recording cops making an arrest.
Color Me Surprised
So, the Heathen Mother — who would dislike being referred to that way quite a bit — has a fancy new sewing machine that costs as much as a used late-model Honda. It’s an upgrade from the not-quite-so-spendy model she got just a year ago, and is said to count for many, many present-giving occasions this year. (I think it’s safe to say my stepfather adores her.)
Anyway, said machine has lots of capabilities best explored by plugging it into your computer. In true niche-market fashion, the software appears to be pretty poorly written (as has been the case for most of her quilting tools), but the real shocker is that this machine also appears to ONLY work with Windows 7. That’s kind of amazing to me, given the fundamental technological conservativism of 71-year-old grandmothers into high-end quilting. The market share of Windows XP is still only barely below 50%. It’s a dog and a pain, but it’s what’s out there in lots of places — not the least of which is the Parallels virtual machine on my mother’s 2006 Macbook.
This Macbook still works great for everything she’s needed to do so far, up to and including using the WinXP VM to connect to prior sewing machines and quilting accessories. XP’s great for this, too, because its needs are so modest — the whole VM is barely 6 GB on disk. That’s important because a 2006 Macbook comes with 2GB of RAM and an 80GB hard drive, and Mother’s down to about 15GB free. (She takes lots of pictures, too.)
Windows 7, on the other hand, appears to want at least a GB of RAM and 15-20 GB of hard drive space just to run. Oh joy.
I got her on a path to a stopgap with Amazon links to a Win 7 Home disk and a new external drive, but at the same time I went over to Apple to see what a replacement computer would cost. And that’s where the surprise crops up.
I figured the 13″ Air would be the right call for her. Small, light, and with a solid-state drive? What’s not to like?
Well, lots as it turns out.
This will be her only functioning computer once she gets it, so she needs an optical drive. An Air’s only option is the external one, which means something else to keep up with. Sure, my stepdad has a nice iMac, but we can’t be asking Mom to figure out how to share his optical drive.
She also needs materially more space. If you’re already almost full with an 80GB drive, going to a 128GB is a dumb move. That means the 256GB model is the only truly viable option.
So I did a comparison. Before Applecare, a kitted out 13″ Air with the 256GB drive is nearly $1,700.
On the other hand, a 13″ Pro with a 500GB drive is . . . $1,200. Add AppleCare, and it’s out the door at $1,448.
Moral: Tiny computers with flash-only drives are cute, but they’re not ready for prime time with even the modest needs of 71-year-old quilters, apparently. Who knew?
Also: We live in an age of miracles and wonders, wherein I am routinely called upon to help my mother sysadmin her sewing machine. How exactly did this happen?
Who We Are
Amazingly, some of these are obviously better than the stuff we actually watched back then
You really owe it to yourself to check out Funny or Die’s 1986 TV Lineup.
The Internet is for Kittens
Heathen nation, I give you the Kitten Covers.
This Just In
Roll Motherfucking Tide. First title shutout ever. Take a gander at those numbers, boys: 21 Tide first downs, vs 5 for the Tigers. 384 offensive yards for Alabama; LSU managed only 92. McCarron, in only his second year of eligibility, threw for 23 of 34 and 234 yards. LSU’s Jefferson was 11 of 17 and 53 yards.
As the man said, defense wins championships. And with a D like the Tide’s, it hardly matters that the finally tally was mostly field goals — especially if the other team can’t get across midfield.
This, of course, marks the sixth consecutive BCS National Title for the SEC. Alabama bags its second BCS title, third since I matriculated in ’88, and 14th overall. For those who loathe our conference, I will also note that this marks the very first time an SEC team has played for the BCS title and lost. That honor is, sadly, uniquely LSU’s.
Roll. Damn. Tide.
(In case you were wondering: The SEC have won 8 of 14 BCS games. The other 6 winners were:
- FSU in ’99
- Oklahoma in ’00
- Miami in ’01
- Ohio State in ’02
- USC in ’04 (Vacated)
- Texas in ’05
As should be obvious, none of these teams beat an SEC opponent.)
The TSA is openly admitting they’re pointless
As Bruce points out, the TSA’s own site is running a “Top 10 Good Catches of 2011” list that includes zero actual bad actors.
Oh, and as a bonus bit of fail? All such “catches” should’ve been detected with pre-9/11 procedures, except for the ones that wouldn’t have been prohibited back then.
Dept. of Reboot Nostalgia
The attention to detail here is really, really wonderful.
Dept. of Weird Feelings
As a native of South Mississippi and lifelong Saints fan, I still find it a distinctly odd (yet awesome) experience to see them in the playoffs at all.
It’s even weirder that they’re not a rag-tag underdog. It’s really, really weird that their playoff opponent today has an even sadder tale of football woe than the Saints I grew up with.
Nice Job.
Wow. Just wow.
Playoff Chicanery: Heathen Edition
Largely because this is the first year I’ve actually paid enough attention to the NFL playoff system to understand it, I have picks. One game in, seven to go, and quite honestly I’m 0 for 1 — I was sure the Texans would lose. It’s nice to be surprised.
For the remaining games, here’s the Heathen picks:
AFC Wild Card Games
CIN (#6) @ HOU (#3): I’m shocked, but they won. Who knew?
PITT (#5) @ DEN (#4) (Sunday): Tebow gets stuffed. The Steelers should win, and that’s what we want to happen.
NFC Wild Card Games
DET (#6) @ NO (#3): Saints should win. Saints will win. Who dat? Not Detroit.
ATL (#5) @ NYG (#4): Giants. Giants. Giants.
Next week, the wild card winners get to play the top seeds in either conference, who get a first round bye because of their regular season performance. In the AFC, that’s the New England Patriots (#1) and Baltimore Ravens (#2). In the NFC, it’s the Green Bay Packers (#1) and San Francisco 49ers (#2).
The #1 team in either conference plays the lowest remaining seed, and the #2 plays the higher, so a number of games are possible. These are the Heathen Picks based on the picks above.
AFC Semifinals
HOU @ BAL: The luck stops here. I’d be NICE to win again, but I’d be VERY surprised. Ravens by 10.
PITT @ NE: Can’t they BOTH lose? Good CHRIST I hate both these teams. I’m hoping Pitt. I’m thinking NE gets it, though.
NFC Semifinals
NO @ SF: SAINTS, even on the road. WHO DAT.
NYG @ GB: PACK. Hard to hate on the Pack, really.
AFC Final
BAL @ NE. Baltimore by 5 is what I want. In reality it’s too close to call.
NFC Final
NO @ GB: SAINTS.
SuperBowl XLVI
Saints vs. Baltimore. SAINTS WIN! SAINTS WIN!
This Is Awesome, Retro Edition
JWZ noticed something interesting on a new TV installed in his pizza joint. It has static when there’s no signal on HDMI.
As he notes, this seems perfectly normal if you’re old enough. Except this kind of static is an artifact of an analog signal chain — which doesn’t exist for this TV. The static is synthetic, built into the TV, just for style points.
“This is what you rejected Constitutional Monarchy for”
Once again, The Daily Show knocks it out of the park.
Dept. of Cry Me A River
Some TSA union reps are whining that their public perception as useless, ineffectual doofuses is hurting their bargaining power. You think? Or could it be, as Balko notes, that their low esteem and morale is due to their role in enforcing policies that “hassle, degrade, and humiliate” travelers while producing precisely zero security benefits?
The most hilarious part of the linked story is the apparently unironic assertion from TSA drone/screener that “any bag I open could be my last.” Um, jackass? I’m pretty sure the death-due-to-explosions count for TSA employees is 0.
The author of the sympathetic article is also a real piece of work. Despite a lack of any evidence, he claims that TSA screeners “have some of the most dangerous jobs in America.” Really? Seriously?
In the article, he suggests that TSA’s job would be easier if they could arrest people — but then whined when Balko suggested he was actually calling for them to have arrest powers.
How about let’s all support the STRIP act instead, which prohibits any TSA employee “who has not received federal law enforcement training or is not eligible for federal law enforcement benefits from using the official job title of officer, or wearing a metal badge resembling a police badge or a uniform resembling the uniform of a federal law enforcement officer.”
That makes much more sense to me.
Oh, PLEASE nominate this boob
Emboldened by a stronger-than-expected finish in Iowa, Rick “Man on Dog” Santorum — a guy who, in December, insisted nobody ever died in America for want of health care — is doubling down on the crazy. Today he got in a pissing match with a college student over gay marriage, which is precisely the sort of thing that’s going to keep happening.
But the best gift he’s given so far is this:
One of the criticisms I make is to what I refer to as more of a Libertarianish (sic) right. They have this idea that people should be left alone, be able to do whatever they want to do, government should keep our taxes down and keep our regulations low, that we shouldn’t get involved in the bedroom, we shouldn’t get involved in cultural issues. That is not how traditional conservatives view the world. There is no such society that I am aware of where we’ve had radical individualism and that it succeeds as a culture.
He said that. Really. The video is from a talking-head show, but it includes actual audio of Santorum explaining how it really is the government’s business what goes on in the bedroom. Remember, this is a guy who’s opposed not just to Roe v. Wade, but also to Griswold v. Connecticut and Eisenstadt v. Baird — cases that establish the rights of persons both married and otherwise to buy birth control. It’s hard to imagine today, but there WAS a time when it was considered Constitutional and acceptable for a state to outlaw birth control, or to outlaw its sale to unmarried persons.
That’s the world Santorum wants to return us to. So please, GOP, please please please nominate this man. I beg of you. Really. Bring the crazy. Bring it all the way to next November.
PS: The New Republic has a great list of the craziest stuff Santorum’s said so far, but look for that list to get even LONGER, especially if he wins a primary.
Dept. of Doctor Who Geekery
This is great fun if you’re a fan. It’s from the end of Tennant’s run, which is also where I am in my remedial Whoism, so discovering it today was a nice coincidence.
In which we gloat at Best Buy
Forbes discusses their inevitable collapse, and it is delicious.
Police will bully until there are consequences
Cops who order or engage in the kind of behavior outlined here should suffer lasting, serious repercussions, including personal liability to lawsuits. We’ve gone far enough with this immunity bullshit; departments feel free to violate the rules because there are not consequences. The balance of power is entirely too tilted towards the state. Insisting police commanders and patrolmen be held accountable is an excellent step in the right direction.
More Things Designed To Irritate Customers
I’m trying to get some support from Mozy now, on our corporate account. Mozy have a pretty good product that I don’t mind paying for, but their support SUCKS.
The first sin they’re committing is in the back-end user-self-service portal. It’s a nice set of tools for managing their product, but there are no support options. Support is sequestered on an entirely different site, with different credentials. WTF, Mozy? I can’t just log in and open a damn ticket when I notice something weird.
The second issue is something I suspect some idiot marketing droid thought was a good idea. It’s a variant on an old problem. The right way to do hold music is to play something decent and inoffensive so the holding party knows they haven’t been disconnected. Real music is best, not made-up production library bullshit — and then just fucking let it play. Do NOT periodically pitch me with ads, or tell me how important my call is, or babble incessantly with little messages the Chi O in your marketing department thought were cute. Just shut the hell up and let the music play.
Why? Because if it’s music, I can just put the call on speakerphone and go back to work, and maybe even get something done while I’m on hold. It’s easy for my brain to half-listen to the hold music and notice when it’s a human voice again, which signals I should pay attention again and shift back to the task at hand (in this case, figuring out why my backup didn’t run). Peppering the hold channel with lots of meaningless human chatter means I have to basically listen to the fucking thing much more closely, which makes it commensurately harder to shift to a different task while on hold.
At Mozy, the music never plays for more than 20 seconds without a cheery message popping up. It’s insane.