Some useless cracker held a gun to his own son’s head and damn near killed in in a tantrum over Alabama’s loss to Arkansas Saturday.
Somewhere, somebody’s hoarding the carousels as we speak.
Kodak has announced that as of next summer (6/04), it will stop manufacturing slide projectors.
You know, this pretty much had to exist
Look, kids! It’s a site devoted to Awful Plastic Surgery. Don’t miss David Gest and, God help him, Pete ‘Dead or Alive’ Burns.
Another loony left-wing attack on Ashcroft
This time, it’s Federal judges from both parties, including Rhenquist.
The saddest part? Someone will try to buy this.
Having trouble with your wireless Internet connection? Try WiFi Speed Spray!
Dept. of Things Falling From The Sky
The BBC brings us this story: Meteorite wrecks houses in India.
This, at least, is encouraging: CIA Requests DOJ Investigate White House
After a long conversation at dinner when I suggested there was little to be optimistic about in the current political landscape, I came home to discover that the CIA has asked the Justice Department to investigate the White House in the “let’s-blow-the-CIA-agent’s-cover” scandal I noted here months ago, and which the mainstream media essentially ignored. The CIA has no enforcment powers of its own, but it surely has done its own investigation or it wouldn’t be hassling Herr Ashcroft. Of course, emnity between the CIA and 1600 Pennsylvania is no secret; the spooks from Langley have been somewhat marginalized by the neocon “don’t bother us with the facts” worldview pervasive in the West Wing, and have resisted providing intelligence to support assumed conclusions (instead of, say, gathering intelligence and acting on what one discovers).
In case you’re confused, the precis is this: columnist Robert Novak named Valerie Plame as a covert CIA operative in his column, apparently tipped off by (unnamed) senior officials in the White House. This woman was the wife of Joseph Wilson, who was dispatched to Niger in 2002 to investigate reports that Iraq had tried to obtain uranium — and who discovered that, well, there was no real evidence that they had. Never mind that; of course; the administration used the Niger story as part of its smoke-and-mirrors cassus belli for invading Iraq. Wilson publically criticized the administration for using this dubious and ultimately unsupportable claim, and smart money says they outed Plame in retaliation, and the Post (see link below) even has a source saying so:
A senior administration official said two top White House officials called at least six Washington journalists and revealed the identity and occupation of Wilson’s wife. That was shortly after Wilson revealed in July that the CIA had sent him to Niger last year to look into the uranium claim and that he had found no evidence to back up the charge. Wilson’s account eventually touched off a controversy over Bush’s use of intelligence as he made the case for attacking Iraq.
In any case, Novak did indeed name her, and was apparently correct — the CIA has been doing damage control. Wilson himself said in an August 21 forum in Seattle that he believes White House adviser Karl Rove is the culprit, and that he’d like “to see whether or not we can get Karl Rove frog-marched out of the White House in handcuffs.”
The Talking Points Memo interview with Wilson is here (PDF link). TPM’s post on this is here, and is worth reading as well. More coverage:
- CBS News
- New York Times (nogators/nogators, as always)
- Washington Post
- Time
Now: what happens next?
And then there’s this.
The next time you’re at a rave — and I know how you heathen love them raves — if you see someone overdosing, as it turns out it’s probably not such a good idea to shove ice cubes up their ass. Who knew?
Dept. of Genetics
Sometimes, people have more than one set of DNA. (via jwz)
Must be a good day to die.
George Plimpton, famously the eponymous “Paper Lion,” but also a genuine giant of American letters, passed away at 76. He founded the highly respected Paris Review in 1953, and is famout — or infamous — for his contributions to “participatory journalism,” a school which we may probably blame for the aforementioned Dr. Thompson.
Today, too, singer Robert Palmer passed away, much younger at 54, of a heart attack. He had his largest success in the eighties, which is why I don’t need to explain aobut “Addicted to Love” or “Simply Irresistable,” or even the Power Station.
Dept. of Interesting Developments
On Wednesday, a panel of experts including a man named Dan Geer released a report strongly suggesting that our reliance on Microsoft is a danger to national security. These views are difficult to dispute; computing is dangerously close to monoculture — over ninety percent of corporate desktops are a single type of computer, right? — and the culture involved isn’t a terribly robust one (it seems every couple weeks, we have a new worm or virus to worry about [or, rather, you do; I’m MS-free {HDANCN}]). Recall what happened, for example, when Ireland relied primarily on a single strain of tuber.
Today, Dan Geer was fired from his position as CTO of @stake, a consulting firm with close ties to Microsoft. In a prepared statement, @Stake said “Participation in and release of the report was not sanctioned by @Stake. The values and opinions of the report are not in line with @Stake’s views.”
And dissent, of course, isn’t allowed. Especially of the “but he’s NAKED!” variety.
Damn Communists.
Them Cubans have been keeping these all to themselves.
Dept. of Things I Didn’t Know
Viggo Mortensen and punk pioneer Exene Cervenka (1) were once married and (2) have a child together.
Someday, that kid’s gonna have the best show and tell story ever. “Yeah, my mom was in X, and my dad played Aragorn.”
Not Like This Is News or Anything
So Comcast sucks, of courses. It’s axiomatic: they’re a large cable company, ergo they suck. The Comcasts of the world are the reason I bought a DirecTV system as soon as I bought a house, and they’re the reason I’ll never consider using a cable company for my TV feed again.
Still, it’s fun to read somebody rant about them, especially when the specific area of suck — Comcast’s privacy policy — is so topical.
Here’s a Shocker.
The RIAA has been working overtime, what with suing a 12-year-old girl who lives in subsidized housing and everything, but they didn’t stop there.
They’ve actually tried to sue a 66 year old grandmother who doesn’t own a computer capable of USING Kazaa, and is confused by the whole idea of file sharing. No, she has no children or grandchildren who could’ve been using her connection. This means that an innocent woman had to get legal representation because of the RIAA’s hamfisted antics, and nobody has so much as apologized. In fact, the RIAA has reserved the right to bring action against her again. Beautiful, guys, just beautiful.
Um. Er.
Three guesses what this is for. No fair clicking first. Hint: it’s Japanese. <br/>(Via Die Puny Humans)
More on Voting Trouble
There’s another site up at BlackBoxVoting.com (as opposed to .org) that covers much of the same stuff, and appears to also be a promotional effort for Harris’ book. Check it out.
In other news, Maryland is planning to approve a contract (NYT link; nogators/nogators) for the Diebold machines despite a STATE OF MARYLAND report detailing a host of security flaws. Good God.
This Just In
A pack of marauding dogs have killed Dr. Hunter S. Thompson’s prized peacocks. Dr. Thompson’s reaction will doubtless be swift and savage: “Anything that kills four animals, four people or four of anything on my property is going to die one way or another.”
Believe it or not, this photo isn’t about an eating disorder
It’s a fashion shot for the bikini she’s wearing.
By that standard, Lara Flynn Boyle is a little chunky, and Twiggy was positively obese. This is just wrong, kids.
Just Great.
A Federal Court in Oklahoma has put a hold on the national telemarketing Do-Not-Call list. The ruling is a victory for the parasitic slime who brought the suit (the Direct Marketers Association), who presumably would prefer it if the 50 million folks who signed up for said list would just shut up and answer the phone. The FTC is expected to appeal the ruling, so there may be some hope yet.
More on Black Box Voting
Remember that story I noted yesterday, about the Diebold election machine problem? And how Bev Harris had unearthed company memos more or less admitting how wholly fscked the system is, and that they didn’t care? If not, go read it again; I’ll wait.
Bev Harris’ site is shut down today, courtesy of Diebold. This ought to tell you something, and it’s not something good.
Salon on Diebold, Et. Al.
Salon is running an interview with Bev Harris, a writer who has spent a great deal of time investigating the electronic voting industry for her upcoming book, “Black Box Voting.” In the course of her investigation, she uncovered confidential memos that Diebold has attempted to copyright rather than disavow; this is most disturbing, since they describe a level of security I wouldn’t use for Nogators, let along our country’s voting systems.
Oh yes: these things are already being used in 37 states. This has got to stop. Any voting system MUST be both tamper resistant and auditable; Diebold offers no features in either department, and is aggressively attempting to avoid doing so. Moreover, there’s an utter lack of security in their product that they know about, but refuse to fix. People need to know this.
What You Should Do This Weekend
If the ACLU AND the NRA both think you’re on crack, it’s time to reevaluate
The Sacramento Bee is running a long piece on the erosion of our personal freedoms and civil liberties at the hands of Ashcroft, et. al., since 9/11. The news isn’t good. (via Electrolite)
How to Follow That Saturday with a Questionable-and-Expensive Monday
- In Which We Discover that Rain Man Lives in My Shower Spigots
- When the water to the hot-water heater is turned off, the pressure failsafes in my shower and tub faucet mechanisms (designed to keep me from scalding myself, presumably to avoid the eponymous “hot water burn baby” scenario) prevent any water flow, which means that showers are an all-or-nothing affair. No amount of determination on the theme of “fuck it, I’ll take a cold shower” will result in a shower, cold or otherwise.
- Presumably, the Balance of the Name is still Accurate
- Nick’s Plumbing is not actually owned by anyone named “Nick”.
- Home-office Advantages in the Realm of Chronologically Challenged Plumbing Personnel
- The plumber was set to arrive at 0730 this morning. The morning plumber, a tall hipster-sideburn guy, showed up about an hour later.
- If We Must Allow Electrons Spontaneous & Unfettered Movement from Pipe to Pipe, The Terrorists Have Already Won
- Electrolysis is the enemy. You want brass nipples on those, you see, not galvanized.
- I’ll Bet They Won’t Let You on a Plane with Either One
- I’m not sure if “brass nipples” would be funnier as a previously-unknown gangland fighting tool (perhaps employed primarily, but not exclusively, by female gangs), or a brand-new-fad from the world of body modification.
- A Discussion of the Failings of the Morning, Hipster-Sideburn-Plumber and His Silent Sidekick, Part 1
- Diagnosis and follow-on discussion were quite brief (as the problem and solution were pretty obvious), whereupon he stated it would take “about an hour or so” to get a heater and return. He and his silent sidekick left. About two hours later, I heard from the main office. It appears hipster-plumber has told them I want the work done on Wednesday. Would it be okay for someone else to come on back and do the replacement this afternoon instead? Why yes, yes it would.
- A Discussion of the Failings of the Morning, Hipster-Sideburn Plumber and His Silent Sidekick, Part 2
- Despite what the hipster morning plumber said, my water heater is from 1997, not 1988. This is obvious from the most cursory examination of the serial number, a point not lost on the Afternoon, More Conventional Plumber Guy or the crack NoGators Plumbing Team. This is, coincidentally, the year the house was built, and is therefore not nearly as puzzling as the alternative date supplied by Hipster Guy.
- Wherein the High End of Water-Heating Devices is Considered, Albeit Briefly
- There exist tankless water heater devices that create hot water on demand. This means you can’t run out. This is good. They cost $2,000 and up. This is bad. NoGators HQ has elected for a conventional pressurized-container-of-scalding-water instead.
- Wherein We Ascertain the Cost of This Particular Affair
- Conventional water heaters cost $650 (installed). This includes the brass nipples.
- A Discussion of the Failings of the Morning, Hipster-Sideburn Plumber and His Silent Sidekick, Part 3
- Despite what the hipster morning plumber said, they do not in fact take American Express.
- In Which We Ascertain, with the Help of the Afternoon-Conventional-Plumber, Which Payment Methods Are Acceptable
- Checks are fine.
- Lest We Be Unfair, a General Discussion of Why We Like the Afternoon-Conventional-Plumber
- I now know what to do to keep my water heater happy for 15 years or so, though the methods involved (“open the valve at the bottom and drain it into your yard about once a year”) imply a level of water waste bound to be unpopular with certain other NoGators personnel. Oh, and the brass nipples help, too.
- And Then There’s This
- When I turned the breaker back on, he waited in the garage with the heater “in case anything blows up.” We are not sure if he was joking.
- Don’t Leave Us Hanging Like That
- No, nothing blew up.
- A General Discussion of My Hygiene Standards
- I will shower immediately, despite plans for exercise in an hour, as I am too dirty to sweat.
- A General Discussion of Why My Hygiene Standards are Silly
- I last showered not quite 24 hours ago.
- In Which we Acknowledge Generous Offers Made Elsewhere
- My Attorney’s offer of late-night plumbing assistance is greatly appreciated, though perhaps unvetted by the likes of Mrs Attorney and ~, and (even more likely) may be based in part on a poorly worded initial draft of the earlier entry. A cocktail instead?
How to Ruin a Perfectly Good Saturday
Sleep late. Make breakfast with Erin. Watch TV. Get hungry. Go eat. Go to Surly Table. Talk to Joy. Go see a movie. Go to a bar. Visit friends. Drink vodka. Go to a restaurant. Eat. Enjoy. Laugh. Talk. Moan about Alabama. Joke about weddings. Make fun of show tunes. Deconstruct movies. Express dismay, again, that you enjoyed Underworld. Get tired. Get the check. Split the check. Pay the check. Go home.
Turn into driveway. Open garage door. Notice loud noise. Assume it’s the car. Pull into garage anyway. Turn off car. Notice noise again. Open car door. Notice you’re getting wet. Notice geyser shooting from top of water heater. Assume this is bad, since “containment” is a core attribute of the object “water heater.”
Take off shoes. Take off shirt. Toss inside. Close valve to water heater. Put car back in driveway. Begin moving Erin’s stuff. Realize how much water is involved (it’s running into the street). Realize you’ve been gone since 3:00. It’s midnight. Wonder how many of those nine hours involved a mini-Old Faithful in the garage. Keep moving Erin’s stuff. Notice lowest level of boxes occasionally soaked. Take inside, give to Erin to unpack and dry.
Finish moving boxes — the ones you can — out of harm’s way. Have creeping realization that there’s a closet opposite the water heater. Rush inside to find Erin already there, moving things into the office, drying boxes. Be very glad modest comic book collection is all in mylar bags, as box itself is wet-but-not-soaked. Mop closet floor.
Move more boxes in garage. Call Joy, who is still at the restaurant, for plumber referral. Realize midnight-on-Sunday is not a good time to call plumbers, as their rate-o-meters are doubtless set to “obliterate” for anything between the evening news and football on Sunday. Settle things as best you can. Move boxes around. Put car back in garage. Sit on couch, wet, tired, and sort of hung over. Fall asleep on couch watching Tivo and drinking ginger ale. Be thankful water heater, at least, was not in an improved area of house. Wonder how much water heaters cost.
And to think this is partly our fault.
Underworld, the Kate-Beckinsale-vampires-vs.-werewolves film, topped the box office this weekend at $22 million. N.B. that when I say “partly our fault,” I mean approximately 0.000082%.
Critics seem to loathe it, but I had a much better time than I expected, and I’m notoriously hard on films. It’s certainly not high art, but at least it seems to care about whether it makes sense within itself or not. I’ve seen much, much worse vampire movies. I’ve seen much worse movies that didn’t even have vampires in them, in fact. And this one has Beckinsale in goth fetishy clothing, of which she seems to have a bunch, and what’s not to like about that?
It’s marketed, sorta, as a Romeo-and-Juliet kind of thing, but that’s a real stretch — not every story about (potential) lovers from warring clans is a rehash of R&J. A better case can be made for a racial politics theme, but even that is subordinate to “run, fight, shoot, jump, and look fancy in black leather or latex, pausing occasionally to reveal more of the plot and backstory” (and thank God for that).
Beckinsale is easily the best of the cast; most of the rest seem to have been hired for look rather than talent, but fortunately Beckinsale is (usually) the only one who’s called upon to do anything that really looks like acting. What ultimately saves the film is a more-intricate-than-you’d-expect plot that isn’t over-explained (though the Exposition Fairy does make some unnecessary visits early on).
Oh, I was going to link to the official film site, but it’s a nasty full-screen all-Flash thing. The Sony site, though, includes a link to an Underworld Half-Life game mod, which is a marketing tie-in I’ve not seen before. Clever.
James McPherson on Bush Revisionism
The Bush folks have been suggesting that their critics were engaging in “revisionist history” in some of their complaints about the WMD search, the threat of Iraq, etc. Pulitzer Prize-winning historian McPherson explores what this means in his September column from the American Historial Association’s journal, Perspectives. (via Electrolite)
Passage
Today, Galileo is scheduled to end its 14-year mission by plunging into Jupiter — deliberately. NASA believes that the massive subsurface ocean on Europa could harbor life, so pains must be taken to ensure there is no chance of contamination with Earthly bacteria.
Data will continue to arrive for about another hour — since that’s how long it takes for light to get from Jupiter’s neighborhood to us — but the craft is most likely breaking up as I type this at 2:00PM Central Time. Galileo showed us Shoemaker-Levy 9 crashing into Jupiter in 1994; more tantalizingly, Galileo gave us evidence of the only other liquid water in the solar system (on Europa), which forces us to re-evaluate what a life-supporting planet might look like (heretofore, we assumed they’d need to look pretty much like Earth).
Have a drink to Galileo, the little-engine-that-could of space probes; it’s exceeded all reasonable expectations, particularly given its rocky beginnings.
“Welcome to Vietnam, Mr. President. Sorry you didn’t go when you had the chance.”
Former US Senator Max Cleland has a scathing editorial in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution about the quagmire that could be Iraq. Cleland was hounded from office by a chickenhawk Republican for being “soft on the military.” It should be noted that Cleland knows Vietnam rather well, since he lost two legs and an arm there.
Naked Anime Figurines!
No, really! Just make sure you check out the shipping restriction at the bottom of the page. (No, it’s not safe for work. Unless you’re me.)
Political Generals, Cincinnatus, and Wesley Clark
“Now hold on a minute, Mr. Gator Man! Who the hell is this Cincinnati person?”
Well, I’ll tell you. Actually, I’ll just point you at this article, and all will be revealed. Therein you will find this bit as a footnote, which provides a convenient rundown of the generals in our history who have sought or achieved the Oval Office:
The president generals are George Washington, Andrew Jackson, William Henry Harrison, Zachary Taylor, Franklin Pierce, Ulysses S. Grant, Rutherford B. Hayes, James Garfield, Benjamin Harrison, and Dwight Eisenhower. Unlike the other six, who were famed for their battlefield achievements, Pierce, Hayes, Garfield, and Harrison were not known for their military records. Generals who have lost general elections include Lewis Cass, Winfield Scott, George McClellan, and Winfield S. Hancock. Douglas MacArthur and Al Haig are among the generals who planned presidential runs but never got close to the November ballot.
Slate on the 9th Circuit Ruling
Everybody, I reckon, knows about the 9th Circuit’s ruling halting the California recall, and how their ruling cites Bush v. Gore. Slate’s running this commentary, which is pretty darn funny without being terribly partisan either way.
There & Back Again
Some very particular walking directions: Bag End to Cracks of Doom, from what is presumably Middle Earth’s best mapping resource. (via tjic, but not from his blog)
More on the IEEE/Voting Machine Imbroglio
Joey deVilla (aka Accordian Guy) has an excellent rundown of what’s going on in lay terms. Read this.
More Proof that God Hates Boy Bands
An Oregon man crashed his car because, while singing along with Justin Timberlake, a bee flew into his mouth.
“Like Sam the butcher bringing Alice the meat”
The Definitive Paul’s Boutique Reference.
PAY ATTENTION
The voting machine fight is heating up. This time, the IEEE committee charged with creating the standard has become badly politicized, and is working to create a situation where actual performance metrics — you know, like on accountability and auditability — aren’t part of the picture. Diebold, et. al., badly want these standards in place quickly, and with a minimum amount of fuss — but if we get machines without adequate safeguards, fair elections will become a thing of the past. These firms are also lobbying to have the mechanisms of their electronic voting machines labeled trade secrets, which means “trust us; it works just fine.” Does this strike you as a good idea?
The Electronic Frontier Foundation has a petition. Go there, read, and sign if you agree. You can read more about this via this BoingBoing post and this post from JWZ’s livejournal; both link to other stories as well.
This is important, people. Pay attention.
Dept. of Conflicts of Interest, Vice-Presidential Division
Dick Cheney, who insisted he’d sever all connections with Halliburton upon taking office, has done no such thing. He earns more from their payroll than he does from the Treasury, and holds nearly half a million stock options to boot.
Let’s see: we impeached the last guy who lied about sex; what will we do with a guy who lies about money and influence?
Dept. of Market Research, Military Division
Okay, so it’s not really market research; it’s actually feedback from soldiers in the Iraq war on their equipment — weapons, vehicles, uniforms, etc. It’s oddly fascinating — in many cases, soldiers opted for aftermarket modifications or even nonstandard equipment (for example, Camelbacks instead of canteens) when something better than standard issue was available.
Note: if you’re at all squeamish, skip the (enthusiastic) paragraph about the XM-107 Barrett .50 caliber sniper rifle. Suffice it to say that the snipers were very, very pleased with its ability to lethally (and dramatically) “engage” both vehicular and human targets at 1,400 meters, though they felt that with better optics, targets as far as 2 kilometers would reasonable as well.
Holy Crap.
This is absolutely the best use of Flash/Shockwave I’ve ever seen. It’s rich and lush, surreal, and interactive in a Myst sort of way. Give it a few minutes of your time.
Dept. of Weasels, Aviation Division
Heretofore widely admired low-cost, big-seat carrier JetBlue has apparently been passing the full travel histories of many of its fliers on to a private security firm as part of the CAPPS II program, and then denying it after the fact.
This sensitive travel data was then turned-over to a private security contractor for analysis, the results of which were presented at a security conference earlier this year and then posted on the Internet.
If you fly JetBlue, please stop if you believe privacy is something worth preserving.
Dept. of Excellent Headlines
What a country!
In this case, though, the country in question — i.e., the one offering strip club scholarships — is our neighbor to the north.
Al Franken Strikes Again
“Hey, man, why don’t we just blow up that sumbitch Hurricun?”
The fact that this question is answered on the NOAA website makes me very, very sad. (Via Kieran Healy’s Blog.)
Dept. of Linguistics
Just what we need: a Gansta-Pirate Dictionary.
Rummy admits no Saddam-9/11 link
Yup, it’s true, despite the fact that many Americans believe otherwise. Where might they have gotten that idea, I wonder? From the endless War-on-Terror rhetoric coming from 1600 Pennsylvania? From Bush’s own nebulous, bait-and-switch cassus belli where Iraq was concerned? Naah. Couldn’t be that. It also couldn’t be that such obfuscation was deliberate, and designed to distract pretty much everyone from the fact that the overwhelming majority of the 9/11 hijackers were Saudi, and that Saudi money underwrote the whole operation, right?
Right?
A bit shrill, but basically correct
A bit of bombastic Flash, courtesy of the folks at Spacetaker.org. Don’t forget what Harris did in Florida.