Today is my birthday. I am now old enough to be crucified, though fortunately I lack the other qualifications (e.g., presumably, divinity).

I share this particular date with:

• Percival Lowell, astronomer, 1855
• Hugh Walpole, writer, 1884
• L. Ron Hubbard, writer & charlatan, 1911
• William Casey, former CIA director, 1913
• Al Jaffee, MAD magazine artist, 1921
• Voice-of-Donald-Duck Clarence Nash, 1936
• Neil Sedaka, entertainer, 1939
• William H. Macy, actor, 1950
• Dana Delaney, bad actress, 1956
• Adam Clayton, earnest bass player, 1960

As I’ve stated before, it is my hope that Clayton, Macy, Nash, and Jaffee can make up for Hubbard and Casey.

The Chronicle ran this piece in January. It’s well worth a look.

My adoptive state is preparing for its 300th execution since 1982. There’s some real chance that this time, the accused is innocent.

Well, it turns out it ain’t necessarily so. The Feds lied on their search warrent applications, and in fact have arrested, detained, and vilified many completely innocent people. But nobody wants to talk about this, since to do so is to risk appearing soft on child pornography. What happened to the Fourth Estate? Thank God there’s a judge involved here who remembers how to do her job.

I repeat again, in case you’ve missed it: The Justice Department is COMPLETELY OUT OF HAND.

Apparently, Bob Ney (R-OH) has time on his hands. I hope nobody catches him in a “freedom kiss.”

Of course, that’s no surprise, is it? What do wealthy, retired, geezers know about running a country?

Well, as it happens, this guy makes a pretty compelling case. Besides, he was also the 41st president.

Update: More coverage of the differing views within the GOP — as encapsulated by the 41 vs. 43 bit — in Salon today. I don’t really miss 41 as a President, but I certainly wish his son would take more of his counsel when it comes to foreign policy.

Mr. Carter has a concise editorial in the Times.

In a story dated March 9, the Sunday Mirror reports that a dozen Iraqis walked into Kuwait waving a white flag to surrender to some rather surprised British paratroopers conducting a live-fire exercise.

The stunned Paras from 16 Air Assault Brigade were forced to tell the Iraqis they were not firing at them, and ordered them back to their home country telling them it was too early to surrender.

Clearly, an animal sleeping like this has no natural enemies.

For the record, Bob once chased a certain crawfish-obsessed Lab around my living room.

British gamemaker SCi has announced a game based on Quentin Tarantino‘s 1992 film Reservoir Dogs.

New York Times writer David Pogue has a piece on legal music downloading services that paints them all as more or less useless — cumbersome interfaces, annoying restrictions, bad DRM schemes, etc. Most won’t let you burn songs to CDs, for example, and some require that you be connected to the service to listen to anything. He’s right, too, at least as far as the services he bothers to cover. From that point of view, it looks very much like the music industry is in trouble — why would I pay and put up with those kinds of limitations when Kazaa is free?

Unfortunately, Pogue misses the one service I’ve been using, Emusic, which has a flat-rate, all-you-can-eat scheme for downloading standard MP3 files to your hard drive. You own ’em once you have them, even if you quit the service. They’re short on “hot new acts,” but they do have plenty of good indy stuff, lots of very cool jazz, and a reasonable pricing scheme. It’s worth checking out. (My one peeve: the MP3 files are 128kb, and there’s no provision for a higher-fidelity version. Still, it beats the other ones hands down.)

A fine bit from the New Yorker that seems appropriate to revisit.

The supposedly “fair and balanced” Fox News — and let’s set aside she sheer balls it took to behave as they do with that as a tagline — has won a legal victory. It appears they’re free do distort the news all they want. (More coverage.)

From The Onion, of course:

U.S. Capitol Cleaning Turns Up Long-Lost Constitution

WASHINGTON, DC÷Lost for nearly two years, the U.S. Constitution was found Tuesday behind a couch in the Governor’s Reception Room. “Wow, I forgot all about that thing,” said U.S. Sen. Chris Dodd (D-CT), who found the historic document while vacuuming. “Nobody knew what happened to it. Guess it must’ve fallen back there during a meeting.” After making the find, Dodd spent several minutes rereading some of his favorite old amendments.

I just got this from two different people via email — two siblings, in fact — so it must be funny.

When the right-wing National Review and the new counter-ads from the Marijuana Policy Project are saying the same thing, maybe it’s time to reign in Herr Ashcroft. As a Republican, isn’t he supposed to be supporting small government and state’s rights?

A man in New York — an attorney — was arrested for wearing a Peace t-shirt in a mall. Just how far will this pro-war, no-dissent-allowed bullshit go?

If you leave a comment to one of these pages from an address that doesn’t already get inundated with spam, it’s best to NOT include your email address, at least in the form bob@somewhere.com. Address-harvesting software could get your address and sell it to spammers. If you feel the need to leave your address anyway, do so in a way that isn’t machine-readable, like “bob at somehere dot com.”

We now return you to your regularly schedule snarkiness.

Everyone’s favorite clip-art comic strip mourns Fred Rogers.

Do you suffer from stress, anxiety, or the heartbreak of psoriasis? Have you got an extra C-note burning a hole in your pocket? Then Spazee may be just the ticket.

Congrats to Carl and Joy, who are now (1) full of mudbugs and beer and (2) all engaged and stuff. This is their dog, Sam.

I think my drinking team has a cooking problem. In any case, I present “Pinatas and Weird Women: The Chet Farmer Rodeo Story.”

Here’s a lovely snapshot from 1983. That’s Rumsfeld on the left. I expect you know who the guy on the right is. Nice ‘stache.It’s not a “liberal conspiracy.” We really were buddy-buddy with WMD-using Saddam back then.

Glengarry Glen remix.

(It should be obvious that you’ll need headphones or privacy, if not both.)

Career US Diplomat John Brady Kiesling has submitted his resignation, citing the incompatibility of our nation’s current policies with our stated values. His letter to Mr. Powell is available at the New York Times (free registration required; use nogators/nogators).

The policies we are now asked to advance are incompatible not only with American values but also with American interests. Our fervent pursuit of war with Iraq is driving us to squander the international legitimacy that has been Americaâs most potent weapon of both offense and defense since the days of Woodrow Wilson. We have begun to dismantle the largest and most effective web of international relationships the world has ever known. Our current course will bring instability and danger, not security.

You may think they’re okay, they’re charming, they’re quiet, even elegant. But don’t be fooled. Blimps are evil.

This site — at a house.gov domain, no less — documents a number of occasions when Mr Bush has said one thing, but enacted policies more or less diametrically opposed to his rhetoric.

PBS icon Fred Rogers died today, after a brief battle with stomach cancer. He was 74.

While his last episode aired more than a year ago, I enjoyed just knowing he was out there, and hoped he’d somehow make it until I had children of my own. Even in retirement, though, he was still around — he taped a new segment last September, about how to deal with the frightening images on television associated with the 9/11 anniversary.

Over the last few years, Mr. Rogers was the recipient of many awards and tributes, including a Salon Brilliant Careers column, an Esquire cover (for an issue devoted to heroes), a lifetime achievement Emmy (plus 4 other “conventional” Emmys), induction to the Broadcasting Hall of Fame (4 years ago today, in fact), a Peabody Award, and the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

There’s plenty of coverage on the web, of course. I’ll call your attention to the PBS release, as well as to an editorial at CNN. The Minneapolis Star Tribune’s coverage includes a selection of quotes from Mr. Rogers. This one’s worth remembering: “There’s a generous current in the American spirit. And if we can simply give voice to that once in a while, I think it’s a good message.”

More: Salon has posted another encomium that’s worth your time.

…we change stuff just because we can.

Herr Ashcroft’s Justice Department has started raiding online head shops in an effort to reduce the supply of “drug paraphenalia.” Excellent work, Mr. Ashcroft. I can only assume you’ve solved that domestic terrorism problem, seeing as how you have time to chase Internet bong vendors. Way to go.

BoingBoing editor and SF author (and EFF evangelist) Cory Doctorow has published his first novel. I read it yesterday; it’s a blast. You can buy it via Cory’s site or, if you prefer, download it for free.

There are 162 ZIP codes for New York City, New York.

Moose 1, Car 0.

There’s a touring exhibit of The Quilts of Gee’s Bend that’s well worth seeing. The creativity here is amazing, especially in light of the fact that quilting is an activity of necessity for these women.

We need someone to point out the madness happening daily, and being done in our name.

It’s not what you think. Some guy in California made his own weather balloon, which he launched and recovered. It included an on-board mini-Linux box recording (and reporting, via packet radio) altitude, temperature, and position via a GPS. Thanks to a small digital camera, it also took pictures.

If you’re anything like me, the answer to your next question is “nearly 80,000 feet.”

…since there are some things man was not meant to adapt to musical theater.

Wireframe skeleton. I’m pretty sure I cited this before, but the archives got hosed, so here it is again.

The White House cited a completely nonexistent report in stumping for its tax cut.

Danger, Inc. — the folks who make the gadget I mentioned earlier — have a facility on their site to support mobile blogging; obviously, I have to take part. There’s no much there now, but since the device can take pictures and post them, I suspect we’ll have some amusing bits later today.

Taking the idea a bit further is Hiptop Nation, a communal weblog to which anyone with a Danger device can contribute. Interesting notion; I’m interested to see how both bits pan out.

Take the HP Lovecraft Sani-Test and find out. I’m particularly interested to see how Padgett scores.

Paige Padgett.

We’re marooned at the cookoff. We’re 500 yards from the car and it’s come up a damn monsoon.

Fortunately, there’s an awful lot of beer here. And a zydeco band. It could be worse. We could be in New Jersey.

Maybe we should just duct-tape the border. Or, even better, stop hiring idiots to do customs screening.

Johnny Paycheck died. Make up your own joke.

How much do ferris wheels cost?

But it’s still funny. (Thanks to Senior Video Editing Correspondent D. Nutt for this catch.)

I expect this guy may have been confused. I wonder if he tried to reload the game upon being busted?

I think this might work better with sheep’s blood, but these days maybe duct tape is the next best thing.

Thanks to sharp-eyed Senior NoGators Montrose Architectural & Duct Tape Anomaly Correspondent E. O. Corn.

If you’re like me, you have concerns about U.S. intellectual property law. Maybe you just have some questions. In that case, I direct you to the U.S. Copyright Office’s Frequently Asked Question list. In fact, I strongly suggest that you investigate question #58.

My friends and I, well, we’re concerned about our Republic. Consequently, we sought out our local chapter of the ACLU, since supporting 9 out of 10 Amendments ain’t bad. It seems, at least according to the local pseudo-alt paper, that they meet at La Mexicana for happy hours on the first Thursday of each month, so in early January, there we were.

Completely alone. Yup, nobody there. Well, we thought, perhaps they’ve taken a bye on January; it was very soon after the holidays. We’ll try again in February.

And so we did. This time, we check both the Press and their local web site. Enter problem the first: they disagree. The Press says they’ll meet at La Mexicana, as expected, but the site says Cafe Noche. Fortunately, they’re across the street from each other, so once again we set out to support our civil liberties.

There was, of course, no one at Noche. Nor was there anyone at Mexicana, and at neither place did any employees know of such a gathering.

Frustrated, I called the number supplied in the Press. I reached Annette Lamoreaux, or at least her voice mail. I left her a message including the following points:

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Some folks at Harvard are doing groundbreaking work in the new field of Squirrel Fishing.