Enjoy. Ostensibly, it’s a music video made up of clips from all sorts of sources, mostly B- or D-grade SF softcore, Japanese adventure stuff, and God knows what else.
Without the Intarwub, where would we find this crap? Thanks, Cold War! (And JWZ.)
(BTW, Gar, this makes six straight posts completely unrelated to football.)
How to make a 20-sided die out of pecan pies.
Shut up. You do too want one.
Well, sorta.
The game described here sounds fantastic and hilarious, but we can’t get it to load because the hotel wifi runs at about 300 baud.
Someone let us know if it’s cool, ok?
Help the Intarwub find the funniest picture.
Take a gander at the Urilift System. There’s even a video.
JWZ has found a video of some folks playing with a vat of cornstarch. Move quickly, and you can run across it. Linger, and you sink.
For some reason, it makes perfect sense to us that this clip is in Spanish.
Study Finds Internet Only 1% Porn.
Plus, half of that is dudes.
There’s a little girl in Florida who likes to hypnotize lizards and take pictures of them, which is both fantastic and vaguely disturbing.
(Via BoingBoing.)
Via TechDirt, News.com editor explains why Google is Immoral. Seriously, these people are idiots. The story News.com is mentioning concerns the similarly boneheaded Belgian press organs that insisted, via lawsuit, that Google stop indexing them. And they won.
Think about that for a minute. Google indexes them, which makes it easier for people to FIND and READ their stories. And they sued to stop it. Whisky. Tango. Foxtrot, right?
Well, not in CNet-land, where Charles Cooper thinks the Belgians are on to something. Whatever. CNet’s been a waste of time for a while now; we think it’s time to finally out-and-out delete ’em from our feedreader.
See, there’s this site we found courtesy of the Former Heights Attorney, and it’s got all these pictures of art made from just cutting a single sheet of paper. It’s hard to explain, but we’re pretty sure you just need to go look. (Totally safe for work.)
Triple-F asks “Didja ever wanna doodle in 3-D?”
Pretend to be an influential and tragic painter at JacksonPollock.org; just move your mouse at different speeds, and click to change colors.
Copious quantities of alcohol, widespread praise, the attentions of Peggy Guggenheim, Lee Krasner, and young Jennifer Connelly not included.
(Hat tip to Rob.)
From WikiMedia, the parent of WikiPedia, we find Friends of gays should not be allowed to edit articles.
Yeah, well, there are videos up on YouTube of particularly ambitious lines. Awesome.
Famous pro Blogger Chris Mohney gots himself a new personal blog to replace his old one, so we’ve updated the link on the sidebar. Astute readers recognize him from his fine work at Gawker, and (long) before that his reign of terror in the electronics department of the Galleria Rich’s in Birmingham, Alabama. Oh, and there’s a funny story you should read about just exactly how he managed to get hired by Gawker Media in the first place.
Also, he’s getting married. Just saying. So if he thinks he has time to blog for money, plan a wedding, AND keep up a personal site, well, we wish him luck.
Line Rider will eat your day.
Our pal Joe Mathlete got BoingBoinged for his Marmaduke Explained project. Awethome!
From 1999, Disgruntled Ninja Silently Kills 12 Co-Workers:
Sales supervisor Irene Young, whose cubicle was directly across from Tenchumaru’s and who on several occasions had questioned the wisdom of having an office ninja, was the next victim, killed instantly when a single thrust from a razor-sharp ninjato-katana sword pierced her cubicle wall, sheared through her computer monitor, and plunged through her heart.
(Oil on canvas by Dave Wong. Found here. Lots of Shag, too.)
(Found here, where there’s more on the same theme.)
It was no idle threat; he followed through and made good, much to the delight of the net at large, which then of course produced fan fiction (on which Scalzi comments, but only after learning an important lesson).
We’re glad you asked.
We’ll just port Ms Lemay’s title straight over: “Mommy, there’s a clown in my sandwich.”
Taken. (Flash animation. Enjoy.)
When you get tired of the song, press the red button in the upper right corner.
BoingBoing tells us that, under circumstances, the losers of some Indian rickshaw races must cut off one of their own thumbs.
We really need to cut the damn yard, but we can’t stop making cassette images. (Via BB.)
BoingBoing points us to Burning Man Bingo.
But some of them should.
Used FAQs is a compendium of FAQ q-and-a pairs from around teh Intarwub. We likes it.
Osama has the hots for Whitney Houston. No further comment required.
From the Legal Department, this Onion story: U.S. Dedicates $64 Billion to Undermining Gates Foundation Efforts:
According to congressional testimony, the CIA sees Gates’ intention to bring improvements in health and learning to the poorest corners of the world as the most serious threat to American foreign interests since the wave of independence-granting that plagued Africa in the 1960s and ’70s.
Found on the Well, but originally from ThePoorMan. The money shot is here:
Q: Gibson apparently blew a 0.12 on a breathalizer, which is only 150% the legal limit. What is that, like 3 beers? I barely even mention the Jews until I’ve put away a 20-pack. Is Gibson a wuss? A: No. Alcohol affects different people differently, and different people metabolize alcohol in different ways. A volume of alcohol which would impair one person’s judgement would leave another person entirely unaffected. One person could tolerate a blood alcohol level of 0.10, while this same concentration would make another person violently ill. It is entirely dependent on the individual. Additionally, breathalizers are notoriously inaccurate. However, it is possible to determine a person’s blood alcohol level very precisely by noting who they believe to be the source of all the world’s problems:* This is actually true.
blood alcohol level presumed source of all world’s problems 0.00-0.08 people who don’t listen to each other 0.09 that guy over there who keeps looking at you sideways like he’s got some kind of a fucking problem and wants his teeth kicked out 0.10 your so-called “friends” who act like they’re your friends to your face but really they aren’t really your real friends 0.11 the government 0.12 the Jews < ----- Mel was here 0.13 the Belgians 0.14 the English monarchy 0.15 the media 0.16 the Jew media 0.17 the Belgian government Jew media police 0.18 the International Society of Ham Radio Enthusiasts 0.19 the DMV 0.20 the KGB 0.21 the KLF 0.23 Emerson, Lake & Palmer 0.24 Emerson and Lake, but not Palmer. Palmer’s all right, man. Those other guys, they think it’s all about that fucking woo-woo stuff, and they think they’re so great, but it’s not about that bullshit, you know? Palmer, man, you’re all right. You’re all right. And you know what? I don’t care how gay it sounds: I fucking love you, man! 0.25 Emerson, Lake & The Jews 0.26 Geddy Lee* 0.27 + Canada
Very nice work.
Due to the annoying behavior of comment spam vultures, comments will now be closed 7 days after the last comment. This shouldn’t affect any actual behavior here.
A lovely little ditty: Keep Your Jesus Off My Penis. NSFW, obviously.
No, really:
From: Bubba’s Ear
Subject: the USPS has a sense of humor?
Date: July 20, 2005 1:20:43 PM CDT
To: Chief HeathenWho woulda thunk it.
http://www.usps.com/moversnet/pets2.html#rocks
and
It’s like something out of Fight Club, really. Print this out and send one back in every business reply envelope you get.
It’s therefore key for you to learn How To Spot A Jap. N.B. the artist also gave us Steve Canyon.
Rec’d in our email today; it’s perhaps the best possible phishing/429 scam yet:
DYNAMIC LAW FIRM, MONOMARK HOUSE,
25 OLD GLOUCESTER STREET.
LONDON WC1N 3XX.
TEL: +44(0) 7031964507Attention,
We act as solicitors and our services were retained by late Sen. Strom Thurmond, here in after referred to as our client. On behalf of late Sen. Strom Thurmond, We write to notify you that my late client made you a Beneficiary to the bequest sum of Nine Hundred and Fifty Thousand Dollars in the codicil to his will and last testament.
He died at the age of 100. This bequest is to support your activities, humanitarian services, help to the less-privileged and research work. In accordance with our inheritance laws you are required to apply for claims through this law firm to NatWest Bank United Kingdom, where this fund was deposited.
We are perfecting arrangements to complete the transfer of this inheritance to you. You are required to forward the following details of yours; full names, address, occupation, age and phone numbers for verification and re-confirmation. Please acknowledge the receipt of this letter immediately.
Congratulations!
Yours sincerely,
Ross Williams Esq.
Principal Attorney
Dynamic Law firm, London
Tel: +44(0) 7031942326
Via BoingBoing. Enjoy.
And that lesson is NEVER EVER USE A PORTABLE TOILET IN JAPAN.
Invertebrates continue to flaunt our pronouncements in re: eating vertebrates. This time, it’s a 13-inch centipede snatching a bat from mid-air. Holy Christ do we wish we were making this up.
Conan vs. Bear. (This one may be our favorite.)