Months after TMFTML did it, Slate gives us another example.

It’s Dan-o-Rama. Do not miss (a) the “hit counter” mouseover audio on the home page and (b) the club room.

Read this one, too.

the one about the love “Giblets is the enemy of love!” says Giblets with his anti-love arsenal. “He will hunt it and kill it and mount its head upon his wall!” “I dunno Giblets,” says me. “I’m thinkin maybe this doesn’t have as much to do with love as it’s got to do with you gettin dumped again by Noodles.” “She will come crawling back to Giblets!” says Giblets. “She will come crawling back to Giblets NOOOOW!” “There’s plenty a women in the sea,” says me. “Like mermaids an naiads an squidladies.” “Keep your half-octopus females to yourself!” says Giblets. “All they wanna do is digest Giblets and turn him into ink.” “A good woman is like a fine cheese,” says me. “Or a large hat. Or an aggrieved sasquatch. Or an elephant made outta trees an ropes an lotsa smaller elephants.” “Giblets never wants to see another elephant again!” says Giblets. “He is done with them and their cheating hearts! He is burning all pianos!” “But you love the elephants,” says me. “You can’t live with em an you can’t live without em.” “Cause they tear out your liver an brains an replace em with the fungal herbs of the undead,” says Giblets. “Women like zombies on accounta their drive,” says me. “Zombies keep their eyes on the prize an the prize is eatin brains.” “Yes very goal-oriented,” says Giblets. “But what of the robots! With their laser-mounted death beams an their single-track extermination programming they sweep the ladies off their feet!” “In the battle a robots an zombies everybody loses,” says me. “That’s why all sides have to work together to end the robot-zombie arms race.” “You talk madness, we need the robots to keep the zombies at bay!” says Giblets. “There’s no goin back once the robot-zombie genie’s outta the bottle!” “That kinda thinkin won’t protect us from zombies or robots,” says me. “It’ll only lead to mutually assured zombification.” “That’s just a price we’ll have to pay to win the war,” says Giblets. “The war of love,” says me.

Just fucking read it.

Tetris in one dimension.

And now, a dramatic reading from Paris Hilton’s Sidekick:

Aguilera, Christina 1-310-917-9191 Durst, Fred 1-310-948-0808 Eminem 1-917-776-7643 Lavigne, Avril 1-613-532-4092 Lil John 1-678-362-6742 Lohan, Lindsay +1-347-596-9990 Olsen, Ashley 1-310-760-1996 Pearlman, Ronald 1-212-572-5060 [ ed: WTF? ] Pharrel 1-646-824-1999 Phillips, Bijou 1-323-316-5528 Simmons, Russel 1-212-840-9399 Simpson, Ashlee 1-310-254-7114

BaconWhores.com.

“This exercise in hyper-entropic avant garde faggotry is so cutting edge that it is already out of date.”

There’s more, if you start at the beginning.

Shotgun Golf with Bill Murray.

Only a madman would call a legend of Bill Murray’s stature at 3:33 a.m. for no good reason at all. It would be a career-ending move, and also profoundly rude. . . . But my reason was better than good …

Huhcorp, Inc.

(Laura found it first.)

From here</a.>

Drunk? Have a cell phone? We’ve got just the thing.

Laura points out that there are not one but two squid-obsessed blogs out there.

Man walks through physics building at UT. Man finds stack of freshman physics homework assignments (“How have lasers affected your life?”).

Man peruses, discoving that freshmen involved are drooling idiots of the first order. Man adds his own comments, then scans said papers for display on the Internet before replacing them.

As our friend Biff might say, “AWETHOME!”

Great Moments in Cleavage History, half-pint division.

In Flash. NSFW.

Heironymus Bosch Action Figures. (If that’s not enough for you, they have them for Dali as well.)

Via jwz Go vote for your favorite.

Some German guy has written a number of stories about Roy Orbison wrapped in cling film. In fact, there’s no way to describe it at all, so here’s a sample:

It always starts the same way. I am in the garden airing my terrapin Jetta when he walks past my gate, that mysterious man in black. ‘Hello Roy,’ I say. ‘What are you doing in Dusseldorf?’ ‘Attending to certain matters,’ he replies. ‘Ah,’ I say. He apprises Jetta’s lines with a keen eye. ‘That is a well-groomed terrapin,’ he says. ‘Her name is Jetta.’ I say. ‘Perhaps you would like to come inside?’ ‘Very well.’ He says. Roy Orbison walks inside my house and sits down on my couch. We talk urbanely of various issues of the day. Presently I say, ‘Perhaps you would like to see my cling-film?’ ‘By all means.’ I cannot see his eyes through his trademark dark glasses and I have no idea if he is merely being polite or if he genuinely has an interest in cling-film. I bring it from the kitchen, all the rolls of it. ‘I have a surprising amount of clingfilm,’ I say with a nervous laugh. Roy merely nods. ‘I estimate I must have nearly a kilometre in the kitchen alone.’ ‘As much as that?’ He says in surprise. ‘So.’ ‘Mind you, people do not realize how much is on each roll. I bet that with a single roll alone I could wrap you up entirely.’ Roy Orbison sits impassively like a monochrome Buddha. My palms are sweaty. ‘I will take that bet,’ says Roy. ‘If you succeed I will give you tickets to my new concert. If you fail I will take Jetta, as a lesson to you not to speak boastfully.’ from the first such story

Here’s a fine list of the 50 Most Loathesome People of 2004.

Wanna snort some kittens?

How can you NOT want to click something called “Virtual Toad?” (Especially when it’s an in-progress VR recreation of the late, lamented Mr Toad’s Wild Ride attraction from Disney World.)

1. Quilts what gots robots on ’em.

John Hargrove wonders, too.

These are cool. The artist removed people from photographs and restored them by tracing/drawing, creating a weird sort of empty presence.

This Dodge truck commercial will never be on your TV, but it’s worth giggling at anyway (1.3MB Windows media).

We read the Internet comic Achewood daily. Here’s someone else’s thoughts on why you might want to check it out, too.

Merlin Mann is one funny motherfucker.

Some folks have taken it upon themselves to create the Wesley Willis Song Generator.

This. (Don’t wake the baby. Turn on your speakers.)

Alien Loves Predator: In New York, no one can hear you scream.

“My mom said I could.”

Widely blogged, still worth it: BoingBoing points out an exhibit of skeletal drawings of popular cartoon characters. So what DOES your skull look like if you have PowerPuff Girl eyes? Now you know. (Try the mirror if the main link doesn’t work.)

We think this print says a lot. Remember: it’s not about what you buy. It’s about love and giving and family and peace.

(Unless you’re shopping for us. Then it’s also about what you buy.)

Confused about reconciling science and Genesis? Stupid? Then we’ve got just the museum for you.

Strap-on Veterans for Truth is on the case.

Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, BANANAPHONE.

If you’re flying an F4, avoid concrete walls, as they may cause your jet to atomize.

McSweeney’s reports on more downsizing.

Zoomquilt is the coolest thing I’ve seen on the web in a while.

These shots are apparently from a super-fantastic flood control system under Tokyo, and are not in fact (a) the Mines of Moria or (b) splash screens from a really creepy underground video game.

CreepTASTIC. (Via jwz.)

BobSagetIsGod.com needs no description.

However, Molatar’s Castle defies description; we can, however, give you a quote:

The features of my proposed dragon body were told to me by the Holy Spirit in February of 2004. Before I could pray for a dragon body, I needed to determine what I was praying for exactly. The Holy Spirit was very generous and described for me a powerful dragon body I was comfortable with. Once I knew what my body looked like, I told the Holy Spirit that I accepted His description and to go ahead with the shape-shift. I leave you this compilation so that if you need to change into a dragon, you have the specifications already worked out.

“Drag the red thingy around inside the white thingy and stay away from the blue thingies.“

My high score is “Du hast 20.547 uberlebt!”

“The Childhood Goat Trauma Foundation was created in 1982 by a small group that originally came together as a an informal support group for problems that were the result of traumatic experiences at petting zoos as children.”

They have merchandise, even.

Chris points us to a list of porn titles based on regular movies, something we’ve wanted for a long time.

On the first page, we like “American Booty” and “Ally McFeal,” but the genre as a whole is funny as hell — c’mon, what’s not to like about “Ball in the Family” or “Battlestar Orgasmica”, to say nothing of “The Boobyguard” or the possibly-unintentional trilogy of “Cumming in America”, “on America”, and “to America”?

BoingBoing reports they’ve apologized.

A member at SuicideGirls listed two of his favorite Nintendo games in his profile. Nintendo’s lawyers noticed, and sent a cease and desist letter on the grounds that this infringed on their copyrights and/or trademarks.

What morons. This is, of course, all over the web today, from BoingBoing to Slashdot, so Nintendo looks great.

At least, he has been according to GodHatesRags.com. Heh.

The limecat is not pleased.