There is much to hate about the Houston Chronicle, but the fact that Waylon Jennings’ obituary was front page news on Thursday can make up for at least some of it. (Of course, I’m not linking to it because of one of the aformentioned reasons to hate them: archives are a fee-only deal.)

You’ve got to be kidding.

Making this for my brother and his fiance.

But you really need to know which Office Space character you are anyway. I’m gonna have to go ahead and ask you to come in on Saturday…

British Telecom is suing the whole Internet. No, really.

My brother (with beard) just got engaged to this woman, (left, with boogie lips; astute readers will note Senior NoGators Political Correspondent Willis at right) and we here at NoGators really couldn’t be happier about it. Send them well-wishes here.

Only if making flight so painful that no one is willing to do it counts as “secure.” Idiot airline hijinx prove that it’s faster to drive than fly — even cross country.

The Weekly World News has temporarily taken down its website. Go visit to find out why.

Snubbed by Shrub, other evil powers form their own Axes. (Called to our collective attention by NoGators Texas Counsel Thomas P.)

To all you Yankees: N. B. that this guy isn’t even American, let alone Southern.

Now this is my kind of tractor.

I just sort of wonder if the folks here ever get into rumbles with the folks over here. God, I hope so.|*|

And this one’s MAD!

One man’s terrorist is another man’s Chomsky.

Despite what certain New York area NoGators legal correspondents may tell you, not all Australian residents are friendly. (Note: Unless you are particularly annoying, Andy is unlikely to eat you.)

Fantastic and terrible Lego sculptures documented at LegoDeath.com. Enjoy.

This is really amazing. Render any picture as text/html. Give it a try.

Great discussion of said law and how it stifles innovation in the Scientific American.

If only this were actually a Delta promo. We loves us some flyin’, and it be showin’ like a motherfucker.

Wow.

Can you tell which beer goes in which bottle without benefit of labels? Give it a try. I got 10 of 12.

Whether this is a good thing or not is probably best left undetermined.

The Wall Street Journal (login required) is reporting that Amazon.com has posted its first quarterly profit. Granted, it’s a profit of about $5 million on quarterly revenues of $1.12 billion, but it’s a hell of a lot better than last year’s Q4 (net loss of $545 million), and exceeds analyst expectations by a significant margin.

Recession? What recession?

The good folks at the University of Washington are running a nice primer on propaganda techniques. If you think this sort of thing is limited to “bad guys,” think again.

Afghanistan has the press enthralled, but the thing we really should be worried about (I mean, now that the Taliban lives beardless and bald in Cuba) is still Enron. The evidence of systemic failure is huge, and the political implications are terrifying.

Look. We admit it. We know there are sometimes things that we post here that are horrible. Ridiculous. Painful, even. Maybe visiting this page has gotten someone into trouble with a spouse, a lover, a co-worker, a boss, or even the clergy. That we know this, publically acknowledge it, and yet not change compounds the sin immeasurably.

And yet, you keep coming back. For you, the determined sort not yet sufficiently burned, offended, or morally compromised to realize the error of your ways, we present the GeezerSqueezer.

It’s not a game. Really.

Okay, get this. Flotsam Cove is a site dedicated to old photos and the stories behind them. It’s pretty darn neat — especially his deconstruction of these shots documenting “Murder at the Casablanca Lounge.”

But this gives even ME pause.

LilBill.net is a fan site devoted to a Saturday morning cartoon called “The Adventures of Li’l Bill & Hill,” which ran from 1993 to 2000. The show, clearly patterned on the Clinton administration, followed the lives of the gang at White House Elementary (like the Simpsons, they never seemed to age). This site — which purports to be the only fan site of its kind, and I believe him — includes episode and character listings (complete with guest star and voice actor credits) as well as a reasonably complete survey of show-related collectable items.

Of course, the real kicker is that it’s all fiction; no such show ever existed. I love this. AMAZING.

Bear with me. I’ll be funny again (indeed, if ever I was such a thing) soon.

First up, we have the inimitable P. J. O’Rourke venting about airport (in)security in the current Atlantic Monthly. Of course, complaining is probably tantamount to treason under Mullah Ashcroft, but P. J. marches on.

Then we’ve got this administration’s first big scandal, right here in my own backyard. Senior NoGators Political Correspondent E. Willis (seen here, at left, with editor) points out this bit from the Washington Post, which puts things in perspective. Also, ABCNews.com is running a particularly disturbing story that makes it abundantly clear that Lay & co. knew their empire was a house of cards.

Oh, yes. The clowns. Late last night I found this running on HBO. It’s a fifteen minute short on the difficulties and discrimination facing clowns in America, even in this day and age. Brilliant.

This just makes me cringe. Trust me: not every Christian is as willfully ignorant as these guys.

Confused by the new geopolitical climate? Use this handy guide.

Freedom of Information Act? Not with Mullah Ashcroft in charge. When will this madness stop?

When I was in Florida right before Christmas, the plight of University of South Florida professor Sami Al-Arian was all over the local news, but nowhere else. Now Salon has picked up the story, and thank God for that. This professor has been fired as a result of a witch hunt centering around him making “provocative statements,” which (last I checked) were also Constitutionally protected free speech, especially for an academic. The USF president should be ashamed, and so should the entire university community.

I fear this kind of thing far, far more than I fear terrorists. Enemies with bombs are one thing; enemies in our own country systematically destroying the whole point of our nation is something far, far worse. Read this article.