Presumably, he’ll be able to escape by climbing a wall of sound.
Remember back when MTV played videos?
Here’s a list of a whole bunch of good ones.
Elderly Dope Fiend and My Personal Hero
Salon is running an interview with Hunter S. Thompson that’s well worth a read.
This one’s for Tom.
Transmetropolitan author Warren Ellis has a weblog.
Foreign Films from Other Lands
I’m all for subtitles — they’re certainly better than overdubbing — but only if they’re actually accurate. In cases such as this one, it’s important to remember the lessons of Engrish.com.
“No, really, it’ll be cool…”
Two teenagers stole a skeleton in order to dress it as Darth Vader and take it to a party.
Ed Rosenthal Found Guilty
In the conclusion of the Kafkaesque trial I noted earlier, Ed Rosenthal has been found guilty under Federal law of cultivating marijuana despite the fact that he had permits and permission from his city and state under local statues for medical use. He was not allowed to mention the purpose of the pot in question, nor could his attorneys mention the fact that what he was doing was legal under state law. So much for state’s rights. Rosenthal faces he possibility of life in prison for growing medical pot, something his state deems acceptable. On the other hand, Ken Lay walks free.
And people keep using this crap for what reason?
This week, another Internet worm did its best to crash countless Microsoft servers on the Internet. Microsoft, whose usual position is “just keep up with the patches and you’ll be fine,” was among those hit, as they can’t seem to follow their own advice.
Why do people keep using Microsoft server software? I understand having trouble abandoning Office, but if you skip the servers, omit Outlook, and ditch IE for Mozilla, your safety level rises dramatically even if you stick with Windows. Moving to a Mac or Linux makes you even safer. Food for thought.
100% USDA Prime Kook
According to David Icke, it’s reptiles all the way down. I’m glad that’s settled.
Dept. of Deconstructing Government Alarmist Bullshit
Here’s a piece on the “pot-gets-you-pregnant” ad from the Super Bowl. These new spots would be hilarious if they weren’t so clearly intended to stifle debate.
His Ride’s On the Way
Warren Zevon (NYT, use nogators/nogators) was interviewed in the January 26 NYT Magazine. It’s a fine piece.
The Cure For All Diseases! A World Without Parasites!
Now, within our grasp! I heard it on the Internets! It’s gotta be true! Order your zapper today and be rid of all disease-causing parasites through the miracle of, well, some principle they’re not exactly clear on. But you should definitely get one. It’s got magnets in it, and we all know how magic magnets are.
On the other hand, they might well be kooks.
What the World Thinks
This fine cover from the British Daily Mirror tabloid makes me giggle. A lot.
Church & State, a la the Vatican
I wonder if this means that the Church would be comfortable abandoning its tax-exempt status, since it’s hard to see such threats as anything but political action.
“I spilled spot remover on my dog, . . . etc.”
Deadpan comedian Steven Wright is interviewed at the Onion‘s A/V Club this week.
How smart are you?
More accurately, “how well-educated in the sciences are you?” Take this quiz and find out. I expect to do poorly, but then again I went to public schools in Mississippi.
Dept. of War Opposition, Loony Left Division
Some other pinko has come out against the war, but I don’t see how we can take him seriously.
Somewhat Enlightening
A graph of Bush’s approval ratings, from right before 9/11 until now. Interesting trends.
Dept. of Tech Support Remixes
Take one incomprehensible support call, mix well, and serve.
Heh.
This is now my favorite picture of my brother and sister-in-law ever.
This is profoundly wrong.
But also terribly, terribly funny.
An Idea Whose Time Has Come
So, which of you lushes want to come over for the State of the Union Drinking Game this evening?
End of an Era.
It appears this is now a collector’s item, as K & L’s Rock America is closing. Farewell, Mujibur and Sirajul.
Oh, brother.
Bush named Jerry Thacker, an HIV-positive evangelical who has referred to AIDS as a “gay plague” and homosexuality as a “deathstyle,” to serve on the Presidential Advisory Commission on HIV and AIDS. Thacker is also an advocate of strict abstinence-only education, and is among many on the hard right convinced that homosexuality is a choice that can be abandoned (a view not supported by the APA, among others).
Dept. of Bush Administration Hypocrisy , part . . . hell, I lost count.
It’s clearly not enough that they’re on some sort of religious-right anti-condom crusade — a crusade the pushes abstinence-only education as the sole approved way to talk about STDs and HIV, and ignores clinical data on what protection condoms offer. Now they’ve decided that state’s rights only means something if it’s a way to promulgate segregation.
Bush’s DEA is pushing for a federal conviction for an Oakland, California medical marijuana maven who worked within California’s medical use laws. Yup; the voters in California said what he did was okay, but the Feds don’t care. Gotta love the New Federalism.
UpdateThey’ve actually gone to trial; I’ve just read that the defense team have been forbidden from mentioning (1) what he was growing pot for (i.e., medical use) or (2) that he was operating with the blessing of the state of California.
Dept. of unlikely — and unreleased — jingles
Last year, an unnamed advertising agency hired Ween to write a jingle for Pizza Hut. It appears Ween are too odd for Pizza Hut, since the material they wrote didn’t get used — but you can listen to them here.
Dept. of Interesting Shockwave
This is pretty darn recursive.
It’s a shame Eric sold that Mazda
These people could have probably turned it into a hot tub.
Mr Tron, your cycle is ready
Dodge is considering a 500hp motorcycle based on the Viper’s V-10 engine. The concept suggests a 2.5 second 0-60 time and a top speed of over 300 miles an hour.
This is clearly a very, very bad idea. But damn, don’t you kind of want one?
One Ring Political Commentary
Commercials I Don’t Skip
If you’re like me – and who wouldn’t like to be? – you love the Sprint commercials hinging on linguistically improbable misunderstandings attributed to spotty cellular connections. I love the “monkey with a cold” one, and “soap opera star” sends Erin and I into giggles with astonishing regularity, but this one may be their finest work yet.
My client sent me this.
Simon Swears. Vulgar and cross-cultural. Loud, and not work safe. Enjoy.
Mmmmm, eeeeels.
German family keeps pet eel in bathtub. For 30 years.
Free Money from Music Weasels
No, really. There’s a class action settlement about price fixing, and if you bought a CD between 1995 and 2000 — a set of people that probably includes everyone reading this — you could get between $5 and $20 just by registering here.If too many people register, they’ll just give the money to charity. Seriously.
I love Tom Tomorrow.
Especially this week.
Penn Jillette, Defender of the Faith
Airport security technically assaulted the burly magician in Vegas, but (God love him) he knows his rights. Now they’re kissing up to him like nobody’s business, hoping he won’t tell anyone.
If this doesn’t make the estate mad enough, just wait ’til there’s a porn version.
I give you Lord of the Peeps.
So, so wrong.
For the canine lycra fetishist in your life.
Dept. of Politically Filtered Science
It looks an awful lot like the Bush Administration is editing government scientific publications to support their social agenda, and in ways not supported by actual, you know, science.
Yes. Yes. Yes.
I know you’re wondering about this, so here’s the answer: The Fifty Most Loathsome People in America for 2002.
Merry Christmas.
This Christmas, my stepfather must’ve been very good indeed. Santa brought him a chain saw on a stick.
Merry Christmas.
Just in time for the holidays.
Remember The State on MTV? This site has small Quicktime files of every single sketch. I’d buy this on DVD if I could — especially since the quality of this is pretty crappy — but for now, this will do.
Dept. of Other Cool Sites
NoGators will be taking a little Christmas Break, but we don’t want to leave you, our faithful readers, in a lurch. Therefore and in accordance with the prophesy, we provide the following list of other amusing blog sites you may enjoy in our absence:
- B0ingB0ing, a source for many a NoGators link;
- the porn-friendly Reverse Cowgirl, pleasantly racy and always fun;
- Sarah Hepola, a fine diarist/blogger I originally found in . . .
- the Morning News;
- and the sardonic world of Kitty Bukkake, which isn’t what it sounds like despite promises to “take it on the chin.”
Enjoy.
Oh, and don’t forget your monkey stuff.
Greatest Hits, so to speak.
I know I’ve linked this before, but what with the new movie coming out and all, I thought I’d toss it out again. Of course, before I didn’t have a link to a site covering the entire album from which this little ballad is taken.
Update: Senior NoGators Insurance Fraud Analyst Triple-F points out that the last link has already expired, damn it. Oh well. Take our word for it; it was very cool.
Specificity gone awry.
“Because people have a need to glue things to other things.”
Finally!
For all your holiday needs, a place you can get Live Squid In A Box.
Apparently, corner-of-dictionary work is harder to put on the web.
A fine archive of post-it animations. Enjoy.
Of course, you have to balance this against the lack of dates.
Notwithstanding what I’m about to say, don’t miss the kittens.
Before I saw this, I suspected that “diorama” and “taxidermy” were not words I wanted to see used together. Now I am certain.