And this one’s MAD!

One man’s terrorist is another man’s Chomsky.

Despite what certain New York area NoGators legal correspondents may tell you, not all Australian residents are friendly. (Note: Unless you are particularly annoying, Andy is unlikely to eat you.)

Fantastic and terrible Lego sculptures documented at LegoDeath.com. Enjoy.

This is really amazing. Render any picture as text/html. Give it a try.

Great discussion of said law and how it stifles innovation in the Scientific American.

If only this were actually a Delta promo. We loves us some flyin’, and it be showin’ like a motherfucker.

Wow.

Can you tell which beer goes in which bottle without benefit of labels? Give it a try. I got 10 of 12.

Whether this is a good thing or not is probably best left undetermined.

The Wall Street Journal (login required) is reporting that Amazon.com has posted its first quarterly profit. Granted, it’s a profit of about $5 million on quarterly revenues of $1.12 billion, but it’s a hell of a lot better than last year’s Q4 (net loss of $545 million), and exceeds analyst expectations by a significant margin.

Recession? What recession?

The good folks at the University of Washington are running a nice primer on propaganda techniques. If you think this sort of thing is limited to “bad guys,” think again.

Afghanistan has the press enthralled, but the thing we really should be worried about (I mean, now that the Taliban lives beardless and bald in Cuba) is still Enron. The evidence of systemic failure is huge, and the political implications are terrifying.

Look. We admit it. We know there are sometimes things that we post here that are horrible. Ridiculous. Painful, even. Maybe visiting this page has gotten someone into trouble with a spouse, a lover, a co-worker, a boss, or even the clergy. That we know this, publically acknowledge it, and yet not change compounds the sin immeasurably.

And yet, you keep coming back. For you, the determined sort not yet sufficiently burned, offended, or morally compromised to realize the error of your ways, we present the GeezerSqueezer.

It’s not a game. Really.

Okay, get this. Flotsam Cove is a site dedicated to old photos and the stories behind them. It’s pretty darn neat — especially his deconstruction of these shots documenting “Murder at the Casablanca Lounge.”

But this gives even ME pause.

LilBill.net is a fan site devoted to a Saturday morning cartoon called “The Adventures of Li’l Bill & Hill,” which ran from 1993 to 2000. The show, clearly patterned on the Clinton administration, followed the lives of the gang at White House Elementary (like the Simpsons, they never seemed to age). This site — which purports to be the only fan site of its kind, and I believe him — includes episode and character listings (complete with guest star and voice actor credits) as well as a reasonably complete survey of show-related collectable items.

Of course, the real kicker is that it’s all fiction; no such show ever existed. I love this. AMAZING.

Bear with me. I’ll be funny again (indeed, if ever I was such a thing) soon.

First up, we have the inimitable P. J. O’Rourke venting about airport (in)security in the current Atlantic Monthly. Of course, complaining is probably tantamount to treason under Mullah Ashcroft, but P. J. marches on.

Then we’ve got this administration’s first big scandal, right here in my own backyard. Senior NoGators Political Correspondent E. Willis (seen here, at left, with editor) points out this bit from the Washington Post, which puts things in perspective. Also, ABCNews.com is running a particularly disturbing story that makes it abundantly clear that Lay & co. knew their empire was a house of cards.

Oh, yes. The clowns. Late last night I found this running on HBO. It’s a fifteen minute short on the difficulties and discrimination facing clowns in America, even in this day and age. Brilliant.

This just makes me cringe. Trust me: not every Christian is as willfully ignorant as these guys.

Confused by the new geopolitical climate? Use this handy guide.

Freedom of Information Act? Not with Mullah Ashcroft in charge. When will this madness stop?

When I was in Florida right before Christmas, the plight of University of South Florida professor Sami Al-Arian was all over the local news, but nowhere else. Now Salon has picked up the story, and thank God for that. This professor has been fired as a result of a witch hunt centering around him making “provocative statements,” which (last I checked) were also Constitutionally protected free speech, especially for an academic. The USF president should be ashamed, and so should the entire university community.

I fear this kind of thing far, far more than I fear terrorists. Enemies with bombs are one thing; enemies in our own country systematically destroying the whole point of our nation is something far, far worse. Read this article.

This is hilarious and very on-target. Playwright and actor Wallace Shawn has a hypothetical dialog between the U.S. and its therapist in The Nation. (Hard to believe it’s the same guy who played Vizzini the Sicillian in The Princess Bride, isn’t it?)

Tell me again how we’re not engaging in racial profiling, okay? This is absurd.

Please read this. Memo to FBI: Being outspoken in opposition to policies and practices of the government is not treason, nor is it reason to intimidate citizens, nor is it, really, any of your business. In many respects, it could actually be called patriotic — I see it as certainly moreso than empty jingoism. The freedom to state views contrary to the ruling party’s is a core value of our nation, and ought not be trod upon in the name of “fighting terrorism.”

Agent Mantler calls our attention to the Bruce Lee Remixer. Make sure your sound is turned up.

Copy protection for CD’s is coming, and it will pretty much eliminate fair use. The Wall Street Journal is running a story about this — a story that comes down solidly against copy-proofing.

You’d think this alone would give the RIAA pause, but that seems unlikely.

“ Spider farming is simply not practical.”

Shut Up And Put Your Ass In The Puddin’.

None of you — except maybe Rick — is prepared for this.

Many of you, I’m sure, have followed with relish the admission by certain high-energy physicists recently that the long-theorized and much-depended-upon yet never-actually-observed Higgs Boson (a.k.a. the “God” particle) may well not exist after all. This is a problem for subatomic physics, you see, because it is the Higgs that gives all particles mass. If it doesn’t exist — and they can’t seem to find it, and they’ve looked everywhere — then the whole of particle theory will have to be reworked, resting as it has largely on something that they now concede may be as imaginary as the Easter Bunny (sorry, Chris).

I contacted NoGators Physics Correspondent Emeritus Finch for comment, who says:

Don’t let those high-energy physicists fool you with their apoplectic despondency; they are relishing the opportunity to start from scratch, [and are] making up new particles as needed to replace the legendary Higgs boson. And as for not having mass, don’t tell the diet and fitness experts; this is their most lucrative time of year.

In closing, she notes that this is, in all fairness, far afield of her studies in chemical physics:

My knowledge of high energy physics is limited to believing the whole lot of them are on crack.

So there you have it. |*|

…out jumps dear old Santa Carl?

(Remember, kids, always use a safety line when hanging Christmas lights. Yours truly (l) may or may not be available for belay.)

Which James Bond Villain are you? According to them, if I were a James Bond villain, I would be Francisco Scaramanga. I enjoy good food, monopolising the world’s energy supplies, and sex before assassinating people. I am played by Christopher Lee in The Man with the Golden Gun.

And, while you’re at it, take the surreal test.

For some reason, KPMG thinks it has the right to control who may link to any portion of their site, and is sending letters to folks who don’t have a “link agreement” with them insisting that the links be removed (I wonder when I’ll get mine?). The web community at large is, of course, treating this with precisely the amount of respect it deserves.

If he can get away with this, just exactly what was the problem with that Oval Office hanky-panky a few years back? At least Monica was a GIRL, for God’s sake.

According to sources familiar with the issue, rapper Snoop Dogg is in talks with Cadillac to co-brand his own line of cars. If there is any justice in the universe, this will turn out to be true.

I’m probably the last to know, but George Harrison died on Thursday. He was 58. Damn.

According to the Work Nickname Generator, behind my back my coworkers call me “Sir Drinks-a-lot.”

Or, rather, they would. If I had coworkers. (heh).

Intrepid NoGators Legal Correspondant Thomas P. sends the following link which helps explain why I’ve always been vaguely suspicious of soccer.

The famed British newsmagazine is running a certain correction in its current print and online editions. It reads

In the issues of December 16th 2000 to November 10th 2001, we may have given the impression that George Bush had been legally and duly elected president of the United States. We now understand that this may have been incorrect, and that the election result is still too close to call. The Economist apologises for any inconvenience.

Heh.|*|

The folks at Modern Humorist have raised the bar.

Your name, carved in cheese. And what better way to cap the meal than with a nice, cheesy smoke?

My old neighbors would have loved this.

Brace yourself: layoffs at Graceland.

I was gonna post something today, but I got distracted.

Well, not really. But I’m not the only one in this boat right now.

This is a picture of my brother and I with Mimi, my mother’s mother. She died today. She was 84.

Where is YOUR birthday in Pi? Mine occurs at the 81,172nd digit. Find yours.

Somehow, “ pumpkin carving” doesn’t seem to be adequate to describe this.

A minute-long Lego-based parody version of 2001. Yes.