Silica Gel: Do Not Eat.
In which we discuss how to properly behave on “Cribs”
Or, at least, we point out that RockAndRollConfidential.com has it covered.
Precisely what’s needed in times such as these
The Houston Press, among other sources, points out Islamica News, a sort of Muslim Onion. Headlines include “Man Blames Everything on Jews” and “Halal Butcher Loses Finger, Hopes No One Notices.”
Oh, well isn’t this just ducky
Diebold KNEW it was breaking the law in California.
The very apotheosis of snark
This review in the NYT may be the meanest thing we’ve ever read. Hit it quick (nogators/nogators), as the Grey Weasels take stories down after a few weeks.
Dept. of Terrapin Obituaries
Timmy the tortise, who found fame as a ship’s mascot during the Crimean War, passed away at his Devon castle home, where has lived since the late 19th century. He was 160.
Get Your War On strikes again
“That’s not a conversation! That’s Keno!”
The best damn Quentin Tarantino Story Ever
Once Erin reads this, we’re gonna have to go to LA so she can see who will admire her purses.
Friendster, explained
Confused? Just watch.
Best rant we’ve read in weeks
Mykeru has lots to say, and it involves the phrases “Commander Bunnypants” and “bone chewing psycho bitch with the ethics of a deer tick.”
Just in case you forgot where he stands
Bush is stumping for renewal of the PATRIOT act. Fortunately, even some in his own party disagree.
You know, if we weren’t so in love with our Powerbook, we’d want one like this
How about a Mini-ITX-based Underwood No. 5 PC?
What IS it with Florida, anyway?
In what can only be described as an attempt to legislate away spontaneous generosity, a group of young adults were arrested in Tampa Sunday for feeding the homeless without a permit.
Medical News: Land o’Goshen!
Jon Carroll’s readers are concerned about the prospect of ejaculations preventing cancer, among other issues. He offers counsel.
It’s amazing who reviews Hip-Hop these days
Or, at least, it’s fun to pretend who might.
For your perpetual reloading pleasure
This page collects the most recently posted pictures from angst-fest LiveJournal. It’s oddly compelling.
Update: The link above has been changed to a local mirror, as the original host quickly burned through its bandwidth allocation. Fortunately, he also released the script into the wild.
Dept. of Geek Toys
What’s a more basic geek toy than a yo-yo? Science News covers the state of the yo-yo art. I love that there are now yo-yos with ball-bearings.
Legislating academic conformity
This editorial is a bit dry, but stick with it. HR 3077 is more than a bit scary, and utterly at odds with ideas like “academic freedom.”
There is a great deal at stake for American higher education and academic freedom. If HR 3077 becomes law – the Senate will review the bill next – it will create a board that monitors how closely universities reflect government policy. Since the legislation assumes that any flaw lies ‘with the experts, not the policy’, the government could be given the power to introduce politically sympathetic voices into the academic mainstream and to reshape the boundaries of academic inquiry. Institutional resistance would presumably be punished by the withdrawal of funds, which would be extremely damaging to Middle East centres especially.
In which we revisit old friends
Remember that penguin batting practice game? As it turns out, YetiSports.com has much, much more.
A pleasant counterpoint to tormenting the afflicted
Supermodel Personals. (via Memepool)
Pay attention; he knows what he’s talking about
Read what security expert Bruce Schneier has to say about national ID cards, TSA-approved luggage locks (i.e., with a backdoor key), how to steal an election (hint: make sure there’s no paper trail) and related issues you ought to care about.
It’s amazing how much scenery one man can chew in two frames of video.
Wow! It’s Wrong AND It’s Flash!
This little game is truly twisted.
Your printer’s out of toner. Who ya gonna call?
LaserMonks.com, of course!
Remember that Army chaplain accused of spying?
All charges against Capt. James Yee, a Muslim chaplain previously on duty at Gitmo, have been dismissed.
Recall that initially they were accusing him of out-and-out spying, then backed off to improperly handling classified material, and then did their best to fuck him with adultery and pornography charges, as the heavy stuff wasn’t going to fly. (The prosecutors made noises about how they couldn’t seek a court martial because of “national security” concerns, which sounds an awful lot like ass-covering to me.)
Now even those charges have been dismissed and expunged from his service record, which says to me that either (a) the Army was wildly off-base the whole time, or (b) they weren’t but still managed to bollocks-up the investigation to thoroughly that they couldn’t win even on even the reduced charges. Both of these possibilities have very disturbing implications; either they’re going on witch hunts, or they’re incapable of handling cases and investigations.
It occurs to me that both could be true. I need a drink.
Dept. of Neat Clocks
We really need one of these.
We’re not sure if this was a good idea or not, but it’s oddly compelling
I reckon it’s true that, eventually, everything gets a techno remix (7.2MB MP3)
Dept. of Neat Advertising
Tony said this was great, so I checked, and he’s right.
This, at least, is encouraging. But they’re still going to Hell.
There is at least some possibility that the original Exorcist prequel (shot by Schrader) and the Renny Harlin version will both see the light of day.
No word yet on this other version, however.
Why British TV is better than ours
Ali G interviews Posh and Becks. Example: “David, they say posh people talk as if they got a plum in their mouth. Does your missus sound posh when she got your plums in her mouth?”
We’re not passing judgement; we’re just pointing this out
Sometimes, musicians use their powers for evil.
More on Afghanistan
Slacktivist presents some commentary on an article in the current New Yorker. If you think the war went well there, read it. Actually, read it no matter what you think about the war.
Another one of those things that teeters between the freakish and hilarious
Rather then try to describe this, we will provide the following quote and encourage you to read the rest:
“He was crying and asking me why the bunny was being whipped.”
Of course, now the White House will tell us that Cronkite “hates freedom”
Veteran newsman Walter Cronkite’s column has this to say about the way the Bush Administration has been running things:
One sometimes gets the impression that this administration believes that how it runs the government is its business and no one else’s. It is certainly not the business of Congress. And if it’s not the business of the people’s representatives, it’s certainly no business of yours or mine. But this is a dangerous condition for any representative democracy to find itself in. The tight control of information, as well as the dissemination of misleading information and outright falsehoods, conjures up a disturbing image of a very different kind of society. Democracies are not well-run nor long-preserved with secrecy and lies.
Damned hard to argue with that. Read the whole piece here, or (no doubt) in several other places, as he’s syndicated.
We’re pretty sure he’s right on the money
Harold Meyerson’s OpEd (use nogators@nogators.com/nogators to get in) on the deteriorating situation in Iraq from Wednesday’s Post pretty much nails it:
The only unequivocally good policy option before the American people is to dump the president who got us into this mess, who had no trouble sending our young people to Iraq but who cannot steel himself to face the Sept. 11 commission alone.
More on the mysterious “classified” speech
Slacktivist has a bit more background on the speech the White House won’t release.
We hear Christina is having it done next week.
How about some eyeball jewelery? You know, implanted IN YOUR EYEBALL.
This just in: IRS discovers large IT projects are HARD
CIO Magazine has a long piece on the ongoing efforts to replace a 40-year-old system with something modern.
This one’s sure to get us on some kind of watch list
How about a mosaic portrait of John Ashcroft comprised entirely of porn images? (Thanks, Chris!)
Not that we think this is a bad idea, but isn’t there more important work the legislature could be doing?
Alabama, home to our alma mater, now has an official spirit: Clyde May’s Conecuh Ridge Alabama Style Whiskey. And thank God for that.
Erin will love this. Fortunately, it doesn’t appear to have any “buy now” buttons.
Mmmmmm, design porn.
Scalia Visits Hattiesburg, Still Evil
Supreme Court Justice Scalia visited my hometown to give speeches at a local Baptist college and Presbyterian high school. While there, as usual, he bullied the press via Federal marshals.
We can’t decide if this is creepy or not, but the picture of Jerry Orbach is good either way
WhoIsThatWithJeremy.com is a sort of combination of baby picture site and celebrity-spotting hobby for onetime actor Michael Zorek.
(The Orbach shot is on the third picture page. Richard Belzer is also there, though he looks a little like Skeletor.)
Best news we’ve heard all day
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson will be writing a book on the 2004 Presidential campaign.
Oh, this is rich
On September 11, 2001, Condi Rice was scheduled to give a speech on the much-ballyhooed missile defense system.
The 9/11 commission would like very much to see that speech, but the White House has now declared that the transcription thereof is classified.
We suspect this may not be the best way to handle this
This week, as the worst fighting in months rages in Iraq, President Bush is still categorizing the insurrection as the work of those who hate freedom as opposed to those who, say, just don’t want US there. Then, having explained the situation is as much detail as we apparently deserve, he went on vacation.
Dept. of Technical Support
Here at Heathen Central, we maintain a variety of computing platforms, from the obsolete to the supersexy. Since we’re not true ubergeeks, though, sometimes we require help, which is why we’re terribly glad that this sort of thing is available on the web. Or we would be, if we wanted to do that to a badger.
Dept. of Creeping Paranoia
If you’re as weirded out by Plaxo as I am, you’ll be pleased to know they have a global opt-out feature.
Our tax dollars at work
Terrorism may not have been the DOJ’s main priority pre-9/11, but we can rest easy knowing they’re continuing to spend millions to fight the scourge of porn currently available to consenting adults nationwide.
Beware Perversion!
Back in the sixties, apparently this sort of thing was a real problem, as you can see from this educational film pointed out by Agent Kirst, whom I’m sure knows plenty about the subject.