You think we’re kidding? We shit you not.
Why use tinyurl when you can use this?
EvilUrl.com, for all your URL-shortening needs.
This was funnier before I looked at the news today
DraftRegistration.us: it’s the law.
The web finds its own uses for things.
RING RING RING RING RING RING BANANAPHONE.
Two rants we forgot to post
These two bits are each great in their own right.
First, a good old fashioned Primal Scream.
Second, Adam Felber’s discussion of the Delay response to abuse-related criticism of Rumsfeld, et. al.
Geeks 1, Secrecy Fetishist Spooks 0
Black-line redaction in released government documents is pretty common. Some French geeks, however, have figured out how to interpolate the missing words. Heh.
Never underestimate the power of a geek’s curiosity.
Sony’s tail is wagging the whole damn dog
Sony used to rule the world in personal electronics. We all remember that (if you don’t, you’re too young to read this site, sonny). In the digital audio world, though, they’ve been a complete also-ran, if even that. The reason, say some, is their holdings in entertainment: the music industry folks at Sony won’t let them release something simple and good like an iPod because they fear digital audio and buy into the music industry’s line that it’s downloading, not crappy artists, that are destroying the label system.
Consequently, they keep trying to sell consumers on devices that play only Sony’s own proprietary format, and that impose DRM restrictions on music you already own (i.e., you rip your CD to play on your Sony device, and there’s a limit to what you can do with that digital file; no such limit exists with virtually any other music format as long as we’re talking about music you rip yourself from CDs).
Now, if we looked at Sony’s bottom line and saw that the entertainment lines of business were contributing some huge chunk to Sony’s net profits, this could conceivably make sense (well, maybe not; it’s probably better to make no digital player at all than to make one as widely ridiculed as their efforts have been). But that’s not the case: Sony Electronics is the 500-pound gorilla on the balance sheet, so by rights they ought to be working their Walkman-era magic on the whole market space. But they’re not. And it’s not changing, either. (More here and here.)
I don’t understand what drives firms with a history of good products to suddenly create unrepentantly half-ass products, but it’s certainly bewildering (see also Motorola; Nokia came on the scene with a dramatically better product when the world was shifting to digital cell phones in the late 90s, and Motorola has done essentially nothing to counter the Finns’ momentum. A V60 is within a rounding error of a mid-nineties flip-phone in terms of user experience, for crying out loud, and it shows in Motorola’s dwindling market share.)
What we’d do this summer if we still had money
A Gram Parsons tribute concert is planned for July in LA. The lineup includes Steve Earle, Jay Farrar, Lucinda Williams, Dwight Yoakam, and others.
He was probably dressed provacatively
We wish he’d just say what he means, and not beat around the Bush
Fareed Zakaria in Newsweek vis MSNBC:
The basic attitude taken by Rumsfeld, Cheney and their top aides has been “We’re at war; all these niceties will have to wait.” As a result, we have waged pre-emptive war unilaterally, spurned international cooperation, rejected United Nations participation, humiliated allies, discounted the need for local support in Iraq and incurred massive costs in blood and treasure. If the world is not to be trusted in these dangerous times, key agencies of the American government, like the State Department, are to be trusted even less. Congress is barely informed, even on issues on which its “advise and consent” are constitutionally mandated. Leave process aside: the results are plain. On almost every issue involving Iraq postwartroop strength, international support, the credibility of exiles, de-Baathification, handling Ayatollah Sistani AliWashington’s assumptions and policies have been wrong. By now most have been reversed, often too late to have much effect. This strange combination of arrogance and incompetence has not only destroyed the hopes for a new Iraq. It has had the much broader effect of turning the United States into an international outlaw in the eyes of much of the world. Whether he wins or loses in November, George W. Bush’s legacy is now clear: the creation of a poisonous atmosphere of anti-Americanism around the globe. I’m sure he takes full responsibility.
We can’t help but admire the sheer bullheaded stupidity of this
A recent Pentagon email orders military personnel not to read the widely-published Taguba report.
Wow.
Less funny and more disturbing, though, is the claim (not yet verified) that Halliburton is yanking email access from our Iraqi installations. I have yet to see this from a traditional news outlet, but it’s come up on two different commentary blogs so far (Kathryn Cramer and Daily Kos). I wouldn’t mention it at all, except it makes sense: the damning photos that took the Abu Grahaib scandal over the top were digital, taken not by press corps photographers but by the soldiers themselves, and then circulated by email. Food for thought, at least.
In which we discuss things best left undiscussed
The Worm Within is a hilarious, if somewhat overly frank, account of what happens if you manage to acquire a tapeworm. In Belgium. Not that I think Belgium has any culpability here, mind you, odd menu choices aside.
The article has been widely blogged this week, I’ll admit; I cribbed it from Laura.
(Now: my father was a veterinarian; while he did treat dogs and cats similarly afflicted on a regular basis, I have no recollection of any event resembling the climax of this poor chap’s tale.)
And now for something completely different
(Or not). Approximately Perfect takes the time to view recent events through the lens the Right is clearly using. It’s got some cheap shots, but it’s still funny.
“There is no honor”
Read what one soldier has to say about Rumsfeld’s testimony.
We think this is brilliant, but only because we’re too stressed out for the real thing
Something has survived
It’s been said several times that “the best operating system to use is the one you like, unless that operating system is VMS.” It’s funny, and especially snarky, and it contains at least a glimmer of truth; VMS has been essentially abandoned in the last 15 or so years. In my professional computing life, I’ve only worked in one place that used it: TeleCheck. They did so for very good reasons, of course; when they built their all-proprietary, custom system, VMS and Vax/Alpha hardware provided something not easily found on other platforms: failover via clustering. That VMS’ other great feature, versioning built right into the file system, gave us an easy way to retreat from buggy upgrades was just icing on the cake.
Still, with the rise of cheap, commodity hardware, the place in the world for the Digital Vax and Alpha machines dwindled. The rise of Unix, then NT, and then Linux left VMS alone and behind. Windows servers look like your desktop, and Unixy servers all look more or less the same, but takes a whole different skillset to manage a cluster of Alphas — and it’s a skillset that is in short supply, notwithstanding the oft-cited trusim that the last COBOL programmer will be able to name his price.
I last saw VMS in 1997, which is far later than most folks. I left TeleCheck and joined the boom, and spent my time on Solaris and Aix servers, with the occasional and ill-advised Windows NT box thrown in for variety. (Since then IBM has thrown in its lot with Linux, and Sun is clearly circling the drain, leaving Windows and Linux almost alone in the server market.) I assumed, in the years since then, that VMS had gone the way of all flesh, especially after Microsoft made much noise about its NT-on-Alphas move (hey, it sounded like a good idea at the time; ultimately, I think I only ever saw one Alpha running NT, and it was run by the single least competant big-company IT man I ever saw (no, I won’t tell you the client [HDANCN?])).
All of this is just background, of course, to this story. See, Compaq and Digital merged, and then HP and Compaq merged, and now it comes to this.
Yet another in an endless stream of scripted image editing sites
You know what to do.
In which we discover that online gaming has run headlong into dadaism
We haven’t played Kingdom of Loathing yet, but that’s only because we can’t decide what to name our Accordian Thief. Beware the Saber-toothed Lime!
Dept. of Impressive Bodies of Work
Harmon Leon has written funny, funny shit for Might, the Wave, and others. Don’t miss his attempts to get fired from Jack in the Box.
File a Freedom of Information Act Request? Hope you’ve got time to talk to the cops.
Mark Miller, a physics student at UT, filed a FOIA request regarding the network of tunnels underneath UT’s Austin campus.
Then the goon squad came to visit.
In case you needed ANOTHER reason to vote againt Bush
Bush’s stem cell research ban affects real humans with real diseases, like Type 1 diabetics. The New York Times and the Wall Street Journal have both covered the issue recently (Word file links).
Remember this stance when you vote.
Best. Ebay. Auction. Evar.
Appalling Flatware for Sale. (Alternate link.)
In which we invoke the Shade of Kirby
It appears that Doctor Doom is alive and well, but no evidence suggests that he’s threatening his old cronies, not even Sue Storm, who now hides in the Kansas House.
Peter Parker could not be reached for comment.
TechTV on the coming Ashcroft Porn War
Quoth Gina Lynn:
Mrs. Ashcroft should tie her husband up in front of a sinfully large television and make him watch “Footloose.” While drinking an Irish coffee. I don’t care where you identify yourself on the political or religious spectrum. Having Ashcroft in your bedroom is an intrusion you should not have to put up with. Indeed, I’m sorry I even planted the image in your head. Ew.
Full story here.
Here’s Johnny!
We’ve been patient, and our patience has been rewarded.
AngryAlien.com presents The Shining in 30 Seconds, re-enacted by bunnies.
In which the French contemplate posthumous eviction
Paris’ Pere Lachaise would like to show Jim Morrison the door, but they’ve wanted to do this for years. We visited in 1995, and found his gravesite festooned with flowers, cigarettes, condoms, whisky, joints, and hippies.
Of course, Oscar Wilde’s grave is “decorated” as well, so there you go. Lachaise is huge, too; I’d tell you how long it took us to find Jim, but that would be embarrassing.
Wait! Wait!
Frequent Wait! Wait! Don’t Tell Me! contributor Adam Felber has some amusing bits to say about the Administration’s inability to admit mistakes. And also kittens.
Billmon on the prison scandal
Billmon over at Whiskey Bar has a nice set of quotes in re: the treatment of prisoners, the Geneva Convention, and our moral high road.
Unless “CSS demo” means something to you, skip this one
CSS Pencils is pretty amazing, though wholly impractical.
We wanted to leave this off, but the geek lobby is powerful
What happens when Doctor Who calls Doctor Who on Radio 4?
The piece you’ve heard about already
Seymour Hersh’s New Yorker piece is all over the news, largely because it’s (thus far) the only real public discussion of the military’s horrific behavior toward prisoners at Abu Ghraib prison near Baghdad.
Read it.
Do this.
Rob sez: “if you go to www.benandjerrys.com and promise to vote they will give you an iTunes song.” It’s true.
Love at first sting. Sort of.
In a development sure to excite German metal fans everywhere, it appears that some wealthy Indian youths are using scorpion stings to get high.
I mean, damn, can’t they just do bong hits like everyone else?
Dept. of Unfortunate Historical Resonance
Hey, kids! See if you can find the unfortunate — and hopefully inadvertant — historical reference in this fishwrapper headline!
Dept. of Shit We Thought We’d Posted Before
How could we have overlooked the sublime madness of Crazy Drunk Guy?
We’ve been to GUM, and it wasn’t this good
How ’bout some Soviet lingerie? You know you want some.
Can you defeat the 1000 Styles of Rumsfeld?
Donald Rumsfeld’s New Fighting Techniques Are Unstoppable!
(Yeah, it’s been around for a while, but Rob said I should post it anyway.)
We’re pretty sure they hate the Vietnam memorial, too
The Sinclair Group has ordered its seven ABC affiliates not to air Friday’s Nightline, which will consist largely of the names and photographs of men and women of the US Armed Forces killed thus far in Iraq.
On the off chance you didn’t realize how evil PATRIOT is
The ACLU filed suit a few weeks ago challenging the FBI’s methods of obtaining some business records, but provisions of the act itself prevented them from announcing the suit.
“It is remarkable that a gag provision in the Patriot Act kept the public in the dark about the mere fact that a constitutional challenge had been filed in court,” Ann Beeson, the ACLU’s associate legal director, said in a statement. “President Bush can talk about extending the life of the Patriot Act, but the ACLU is still gagged from discussing details of our challenge to it.”
(WaPo story; use nogators@nogators.com / nogators for access.)
How much do we want one of these? A LOT.
Tag Heuer has released the first wholly new mechanical watch movement in years in the form of a belt driven treatment of their famous Monaco watch. Tag’s own site is a Flash-heavy abomination, but luckily Gizmodo has coverage, too.
Oh Dear God WHEN WILL IT END?
IKEA Claims Another 10,000 Lifestyles.
“For me, it started slowly,” Westin said. “I had Poang — it’s a form of chair — and I just couldn’t seem to get rid of it. That led to a lot of other things I’m not particularly proud of. I indulged in Leksvik, Branas, even a Svingen. If you don’t know what those are, consider yourself lucky.”
Dept. of Quizzes
So, how much do YOU know about the separation of Church and State? We got a 12, which is apparently average.
I suppose we should be grateful she didn’t impose her middle name on her son
This story about the birth of Marcia Gay Harden‘s twins includes pronunciation guides for the names of two of their three children.
In which we wonder just why the hell we’re spending so much money on nukes
Or, more accurately, Slate wonders, and we agree.
Having eaten there, I’m in no way surprised
Restaurant Magazine has announced its ’50 Best Restaurants in the World,’ and for the second year running, Thomas Keller’s French Laundry took the top prize.
Other US notables include five New York establishments, none of which are surprising: Gramercy Tavern (No. 11, also singled out as a great value), Daniel (12), Jean Georges (18), Balthazar (40), and Craft (44). American cuisine matriarch Alice Waters isn’t neglected, either, but we expected her influential Berkeley bistro Chez Panisse would come in higher than 37 (or at least higher than LA’s Spago, at 35). Our Jackson office will be pleased to note the inclusion of Charlie Trotter’s eponymous eaterie in Chicago (32), which also has the distinction of being the only listed American restaurant not in California or New York.
Of course, I’m sure there’s no reason to worry about this
It’s not news that Bush has finally agreed to testify in front of the 9/11 commission. What you may not know the conditions for said testimony, among them:
- Bush and Cheney will appear and be questioned together;
- Said questioning will be behind closed doors;
- No transcript or recording will be made; and
- Neither official will be under oath.
But don’t worry about that last part. Scott McClellan has already assured us that they will “tell it exactly how it happened.”
Right, Scott. Right.
Because, at some level, our geek cred would be questionable if we didn’t blog this
The BBC has a nice long story about the 30th anniversary of Dungeons and Dragons.
Goofball fundie preachers, take note.
Best news we’ve heard all week
Wired News reports that Diebold may face criminal charges in California over its touch-screen voting machines.
Because, you know, sometimes they get cold. Or maybe because some people want them furry. We don’t know.
In New Zealand, you can buy possum fur nipple warmers.
We know what you’re thinking, though. “But Uncle Heathen, if I wear those, they won’t match my panties!” You’re fashion conscious. Of course you are. And you should be. Fortunately, the Kiwis have that covered, too.
(Links are to images only, since the website won’t allow bookmarks to specific products; the store link is here.)
Heh.
Have a look at www.JohnKerryIsADouchebagButImVotingForHimAnyway.com.