At least, compared to these guys. (thanks, rob.)
Yearly Archives: 2007
The RIAA wins another round
They’ve convinced the copyright royalty board to charge webcasters and online radio stations rates that will almost certainly doom the format.
Something else we can thank Bush for
“North Korea has nuclear weapons today because George W. Bush is a stupid, stupid man.”
More.
Dept. of Neighbors We’re Sorry We Never Met
Not far from Heathen Central, HPD found a house filled with pot:
Investigators from the Houston Police Department’s narcotics division say the single-story brick residence was home to one of the largest, most sophisticated “grow houses” Houston has ever seen.
Inside the dwelling at 1202 W. Drew, investigators found an estimated 1,000 marijuana plants in large plastic trays, many ready for harvest. Every room in the house was used for cultivation, with high-tech soil-free hydroponic equipment and special lights to simulate sunlight and a watering system on an electrical timer. The kitchen stored fertilizer and insecticide. The total value of the harvest in a year was estimated at $3.8 million, HPD Sgt. John Yencha said.
Montrose RULES.
Very, very wrong, but also very, very funny
Kitten on a treadmill, backed by MC Hammer. Taken from this collection of silly cats.
Um, no.
Tom dares us to play along with these scores, but we think we’ll just take the zero.
Don’t miss the textual directions. We think our favorite is “release the penguins.”
The RIAA still hates fair use
A bipartisan bill to restore some of the fair use protections gutted by the Digital Millennium Copyright Act is meeting with predictable amounts of bullshit and distortion from the always-clueless RIAA. Check it out. The DMCA is the law that makes it illegal to circumvent any copy protection scheme for any reason. Under it, ripping a copy-protected CD you bought so you can listen to it on your iPod is a criminal act. It’s a disaster for fair use, and desperately needs to be repealed (and the Consumer Electronics Association agrees).
Posted primarily for one reader in particular
Dept. of Pwning the Neighbors
Bruce has pointed out that there are a variety of sources for quasi-canonical lists of default router passwords.
Not that we’d ever use such a thing, of course.
We want to make clear that we in NO WAY want or expect one of our own
Even so, this really is the best geek cake ever.
Easily the creepiest wallpaper we’ve EVAR seen
Dude, check it out. Not recommended for combination with hallucinogens.
The Original Unfilmable
The Watchmen is perhaps the most important super-hero comic ever done. Alan Moore was on top of his game, and in our estimation even Miller‘s Dark Knight doesn’t quite represent the quantum leap Moore achieved with Watchmen.
And yet, in 20-odd years, nobody’s managed to do a film. In college, we used to say it was unfilmable, but still amuse ourselves over drinks with fantasy casting. As it happens, in 2007, you no longer need content yourselves with plans over booze; you can put your own segments on YouTube and let the world see what you’ve got. Apparently, there’s a real film in the works (but this has happened before); we only hope it’s as good as this tiny bit of fanfilm.
Things you should keep in mind
Vladimir Horowitz was a GOD, and David Helfgott is a punk. That is all.
Dear Intarwub
Our birthday is in about two weeks, and it has come to our attention that the best Goddamn Bond Movie EVAR is now out on DVD.
You do the math.
How to tell if it’s a bad idea
It starts with “Might as well have another…”
Dept. of Entries as Bookmarks
This is an excellent Linux command line tutorial.
Joey nails it
His headline: “Apparently, People Have to be Told That.”
We love this more than we can possibly say
Pandagon explains how to talk to a Libertarian. It’s fucking brilliant:
But there are some Libertarians who remain unswayed by such ugly facts. Whether through persistent ignorance or sociopathy or a mixture of the two, they hold as an article of near-religious faith that they derive no benefit from the modern regulatory apparatus that they could not duplicate on their own with the homebrew FDA they have in their garage. Or even worse, they manifestly hold the welfare of others as far less important than their own profit and comfort. … In a cutthroat economic free-for-all, with the mass of people on the bottom and a handful of ruthless Machiavellian princes at the top, each one of these goobers thinks it’s inevitable that he (gender specificity deliberate) will inevitably become one of the princes.**
And the footnote:
** This is, of course, known as the Renaissance Faire Fallacy.
Then, introducing her first tactic for Libertarian cranial discombobulation, she drops this gem:
Most American Libertarians have precious little grasp of the history of their political philosophy. They seem to think that the Libertarian school of thought sprang fully formed like Athena from Ayn Rand’s beetled brow, with Robert Heinlein as attending midwife.
Beautiful. Go read the whole thing.
Dept. of Superlative Applications of Toys from the 80s
We’re pretty much certain that this is the best thing ever done with Rubik’s Cubes.
We meant to bring this up before, but we got busy
Have you been following that story about a Georgia state rep (Ben Bridges) who has been promulgating the idea that Darwin and Copernicus are both wrong, and that spreading their theories is the work of a shadowy Jewish cabal? Here’s a sample:
The Earth is not rotating, nor is it going around the sun. The universe is not one ten-trillionth the size we are told. Today’s cosmology fulfills an anti-Bible religious plan disguised as “science.” The whole scheme from Copernicanism to Big Bangism is a factless lie.
Said legislator gets these ideas from his campaign manager, who is married to the King Hell nutcase, one Marshall Hall (see FixedEarth.com). Other state-level pols got Bridges’ memo supporting Hall’s kookery, and some sent it on to other colleagues. People appear to have been taking him seriously, at least until someone pointed out what a raving nutbird looney he is; however, Bridges’ memo is clearly the product of Hall, so it raises the question of just exactly what he’s doing sending out unvetted correspondence that is so transparently looney and, by the way, anti-Semetic.
Anyway, it’s a mess, and we wanted to point it out. As for additional analysis, we rely on the inimitable Fred Clark, who is on the case and doing a better job than we have time for this week.
Why is security frequently stupid?
Security maven Bruce Schneier tackles the elephant in the room where post-9/11 security is concerned. Worth your time.
He opens with what is essentially a distillation of his position. He’s on solid ground here:
Since 9/11, we’ve spent hundreds of billions of dollars defending ourselves from terrorist attacks. Stories about the ineffectiveness of many of these security measures are common, but less so are discussions of why they are so ineffective. In short: much of our country’s counterterrorism security spending is not designed to protect us from the terrorists, but instead to protect our public officials from criticism when another attack occurs.
Oh. My. GOD.
Mike points out what may be the best damn play idea we’ve ever heard: a stage show based on Point Break wherein the part of Johnny Utah is cast at random from the audience each night.
Holy crap, we wish we lived in Seattle.
Look out! Heathen Comin’
No, not us, but the Jackson Office has a delivery on the way. Word has it that the production personnel had sort of hoped to have to work at this longer, if you take our meaning.
Mrs Heathen and I cannot WAIT to start teaching the little tyke terribly inappropriate things and providing the all-important noisy, noisy gifts complete with tiny, breakable parts.
Best. Dress. EVAR.
Check it out. (Safe for work.)
FanTAStic
Conan O’Brien’s Meet the Press for Idiots should NOT be missed.
In case you missed it
This is all over the damn web, but it’s still funny as hell: George Takai responds to Tim Hardaway:
As we’ve said for years, most people are dumb as rocks
Technology Review on the rampant scientific illiteracy in the US and the world:
Okay, now let’s talk (dare I say rant?) about the 200 million Americans out there who cannot read a simple story in, say, Technology Review or the New York Times science section and understand even the basics of DNA or microchips or global warming.
This level of science illiteracy may explain why over 40 percent of Americans do not believe in evolution and about 20 percent, when asked if the earth orbits the sun or vice versa, say it’s the sun that does the orbiting–placing these people in the same camp as the Inquisition that punished Galileo almost 400 years ago. It also explains the extraordinary disconnect between scientists and much of the public over issues the scientists think were settled long ago–never mind newer discoveries and research on topics such as the use of chimeras to study cancer, or pills that may extend life span by 30 or 40 percent.
As Carl Sagan eloquently wrote in The Demon-Haunted World, ignorance reigns in our society at a moment when science is on the cusp of doing amazing and wonderful things, but also dangerous things. Ignorance, said Sagan, is not an option.
We’re pretty sure we saw this at the beginning of 2001
Chimpanzees have been observed hunting with spears.
Appeals Court Whimps Out
The court of appeals has sided with Bush in refusing to strike down a law denying Federal courts the ability to review the cases of Gitmo detainees.
Twice before the United States Supreme Court has ruled that federal courts may consider habeas corpus petitions by the Guantanamo Bay detainees. In response to those decisions, Congress has twice rewritten the law in an attempt to limit the avenues of appeal by the detainees.
The most recent revision to the law, at issue in today’s decision, was signed by President Bush last October. It eliminated the jurisdiction of federal courts over habeas challenges by any non-citizens held as enemy combatants, and set up a military review for the prisoners at Guantanamo, with limited right of appeal to the federal courts afterwards.
We’ll see what the Supremes say. Surely it’s impossible that the Administration has figured out an end run around the Constitution that’s as simple as holding people in Cuba.
Best. Lightbulb. EVAR.
WANT:
Need new boots?
We know some of you might; Bargainist points out this Doc Martens sale you might enjoy.
Literal Signs of the Times
Via Mark Pilgrim, we find this story, which includes this photo.
Weird sentences
“Hey, check out this Tom Waits cartoon!”
(Via MeFi; check the comments there for more Waits goodness.)
Supporting our troops
We’re pretty sure this doesn’t qualify:
Behind the door of Army Spec. Jeremy Duncan’s room, part of the wall is torn and hangs in the air, weighted down with black mold. When the wounded combat engineer stands in his shower and looks up, he can see the bathtub on the floor above through a rotted hole. The entire building, constructed between the world wars, often smells like greasy carry-out. Signs of neglect are everywhere: mouse droppings, belly-up cockroaches, stained carpets, cheap mattresses.
This is the world of Building 18, not the kind of place where Duncan expected to recover when he was evacuated to Walter Reed Army Medical Center from Iraq last February with a broken neck and a shredded left ear, nearly dead from blood loss. But the old lodge, just outside the gates of the hospital and five miles up the road from the White House, has housed hundreds of maimed soldiers recuperating from injuries suffered in the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.
We don’t really want one, but we think it’s hilarious anyway
Tired of the sad, modern silence of broadband connections? If you get one of these, you can relive the glory days of yesteryear by making your broadband router emit 2400 baud modem noises. Screeeeeeeeeetchtastic!
Watch soon, before the RIAA goons get wind of this
JazzTube is a compendium of links to YouTube performances by awesome jazz greats. Check it out. (Quality’s uneven, and some have been removed, but overall it’s a great resource.)
Monday Video Blogging
How ’bout this “Seven Nation Army” cover? Enjoy.
(Hat tip to Mike!)
We’re really happy about today’s Doonesbury
While we love that he typically keeps his knives out for braindead Republicans, we think this one will be funny to just about everybody.
Advanced Geekery: Ex-caping Corporate Firewalls
Our Lady of Geekiness Gina Trapani explains how to surf footloose and fancy-free via SOCKS. Also useful for securing coffee-shop net-surfing. Enjoy.
In case you were unclear on the concepts
How Faith and Science differ when it comes to understanding the Universe, as expressed in easy-to-understand flow charts.
Now, can we please get those creationist goons out of our schools now?
So, the DRM industry noticed
The responses to Steve Jobs’ “let’s abandon DRM” memo have been pretty amusing so far. The first one, from the RIAA itself, was Orwellian in its wrongness: they thanked Jobs for his offer to license FairPlay, which is actually something Jobs’ letter explicitly said was off the table. Good luck on that reading comprehension problem, doofuses.
Even more bizarre, though, was the response from the head of the DRM firm Macrovision; you know Macrovision; they’re the people who make it difficult to copy VHS tapes. Anyway, the response is a very model of PR bullshit, chock full of deliberate misstatements and outright lies, which is why we’re very happy that Jon Gruber over at Daring Fireball has provided a handy translation.
In Macrovision’s world, the solution is not to abandon DRM; it’s to make it universal, so that the content makers can charge you for a song you play on your iPod, and then charge you again to play it at home, and charge you a third time to use it for a ringtone. They don’t want you to ever actually own any content in the way we all now own and control CDs. We suspect they think they’ve hidden this goal in their response, but Gruber makes it very clear what their real goals are.
Amazing. It’s like they’re frozen in amber.
This evening, we decided we’d like to watch a movie not yet on our Netflix queue, so we ventured to the last surviving independent rental venue in Houston of which we are aware, Audio/Video Plus (they do not appear to have a web presence, which as you’ll see is hardly surprising).
Heretofore, when we’ve wanted the odd ad-hoc rental, we went to Cactus, a locally owned and operated music and video shop that’s been in Houston for years and years and years. Sadly, last year the owners retired and, in the absence of a buyer, closed the store for the last time. We miss it. Since then, Mrs Heathen and I have done all our renting with Netflix except for a sad weekend when we tried out Hollywood, only to become so frustrated with their response to unplayable DVDs that we fired them immediately.
At the time, we thought — foolishly, as it turns out — that our real option ought to have been the two branches of AVPlus, the last vestige of local rental in Houston, said to be a cinephile’s dream. We figured we’d get there eventually; the inner loop store isn’t far from Heathen HQ.
Well, tonight was the night. When we arrived at the shop, we were at first confused, as the parking lot was utterly empty. Still, they appeared well-lit and open, so in we went, and asked the counter girl about a membership. That’s when she said words that, from her tone, she knew to be discouraging and bizarre:
“Ok, it’s a two dollar processing fee. We need your driver’s license and a credit card. We only rent VHS.”
Heathen Central does not now even HAVE a VHS player hooked up, and we’re not even sure if we still own one. Furthermore, PAYING someone to rent tape when DVDs are available seems like the fullest folly; why pay the same money for a crappy picture and shitty sound that you’d pay for high resolution and a 5.1 surround track?
Frankly, no wonder their parking lot was empty. Independent Houston, we tried, we really did. But tonight, we rented from Blockbuster. There appears to be no local venue from whom we can rent DVDs, and we’re unwilling compromise on experience just to keep our money local. After all, making the effort to buy local usually means HIGHER quality, not lower.
Finally, we’ll just say we think Ray put it best:
No, I ain’t got a fax machine! I also ain’t got an Apple IIc, polio, or a falcon!
Or, as it happens, a VCR. Join the 90s, AVPlus, or die the sad, slow death of a dinosaur left behind by the market.
File under “HOLY CRAP! Space is Cool!
Watch this:
It’s video from a camera attached to one of the shuttle’s solid rocket boosters. It goes all the way down.
Distressing Fact Pointed Out Just Now On The Well
College freshmen have never lived as adults or even near-adult persons in a world not dominated by post-9/11 hysteria, fear, paranoia, and surveillance.
We’re used to meeting people for whom the Cold War is an abstract history-book concept, but this is a little weird for us.
More Dialog from Mrs Heathen
This is wholly unfair, but we’re running it anyway.
- Context lost, but she WAS awake at the time: “Let’s not think about it. Let’s think happy thoughts about judicial review and dead interns.”
- Later, when she was sleeping: “I got your bananas! I got your bananas!” Us: “What, honey?” Her, dismissively: “It’s in your calendar.”
Right.
On not working in RFID anymore
Yeah, so, it gives a certain freedom, especially when the WSJ runs stories like this.
19 points of truth
We’ve never heard of this dude before, but he lays down the law on web design. If you’re looking for a web site, read these rules, and immediately ignore anyone who tells you to break them.
Update: This was so widely linked that it appears Mr Cole’s site has been removed, hence the 404 you’re now getting. We’ll find a mirror, or he’ll recover. Sorry if you missed it! (Thanks for the head’s-up, Tom.)
Dept. of Pointless Blogging
Only a couple of you will get this, and most of those will have seen it already, but this is the best damn cartoon about Lisp we’ve ever seen.
Dayum
Former Gizmodo editor Joel Johnson delivers the smackdown, and it’s beautiful. And we say this as a somewhat reformed gadget fiend.
[…] you guys just ate it up. Kept buying shitty phones and broken media devices green and dripping with DRM. You broke the site, clogging up the pipe like retarded salmon, to read the latest announcements of the most trivial jerk-off products, completely ignoring the stories about technology actually making a difference to real human beings, because you wanted a new chromed robot turd to put in your pocket to impress your friends and make you forget for just a few minutes, blood coursing as you tremblingly cut through the blister pack, that your life is utterly void of any lasting purpose. […]
[…] Stop buying this crap. Just stop it. You don’t need it. Wait a year until the reviews come out and the other suckers too addicted to having the very latest and greatest buy it, put up a review, and have moved on to something else. Stop buying broken products and then shrugging your shoulders when it doesn’t do what it is supposed to. Stop buying products that serve any other master than you. Use older stuff that works. […]
Get it together: every single one of these consumer electronics companies should be approached as the enemy. They work for us. Hold their feet to the fire when they say their product is going to change even a small part of our lives. Circle back again in six months when they’re shilling the incremental upgrade and ask them why the last version didn’t cut the mustard. Step out of your blogging trench and ask yourself what your responsibility is to the tens of thousands of idiots who are reading this site right now to determine what they should spend their next paycheck on. They’ve already proven they’re too imbicilic to make any smart purchases on their own. (Remember, Gizmodo was a nexus of debate over which MP3 player was going to “kill” the iPod two years after Apple won.) If you write like another stupid fanboy who ricochets a pillar of spunk off the roof of his gaping mouth just because something is glossy and uses electricity, you’re just doing the work of the companies trying to get rich selling us broken promises.
WORD. Seriously.
Uh-oh
The first floor of Heathen Central has had a minor water stain in the ceiling for years, but we just noticed a new development near it — i.e., more staining. Obviously, somebody needs to look at this. Anybody local got a name we can trust?
Reply by email or comments. Thanks!