
Enjoy.

Enjoy.
First: John Backus (Turing Award 1977) has joined the choir invisible. He was 82. He invented FORTRAN, and in so doing unlocked a significant chunk of computing’s potential.
Second: Don Knuth (Turing ’74) is pretty sure that his old pal Condi Rice is full of shit. The letter was sent in 2002; it’s only MORE valid today.
Here’s a screenshot from our Southwest Airlines Rapid Rewards account page. A key piece of data is that “16” is a magic number; after 16 flight credits (most commonly in the form of 8 round trips), you get a free ticket. It’s easily the simplest and lowest-bullshit affinity program we can think of:

Now, what’s broken there is the “Credits earned” line, which clearly shows 16. That’s technically true; the rolling window they show there does in fact include 16 credits. However, that’s misleading and weird, since what they’re NOT showing is that we broke the 16 barrier in January and were issued an award ticket that, if we recall correctly, Mrs Heathen used to visit the L’ilest Heathen Niece. Their figure of “16” includes both spent and unspent credits, and is therefore about as useful as tits on a bull (or, more concretely, a check register showing only deposits).
Thinking there was a problem, we actually called SWA for clarification, which means this little interface flub has cost them money. Once you know what they’re doing, it’s easy to infer the actual credit balance using the second figure, but it’s not obvious. Math (arithmetic, really) isn’t vexing to nonstupid humans, but the data presentation is — especially considering SWA’s usual level of quality.
(Yes, we stole the title.)
Check out our new favorite judge — and in FLORIDA, of all places.
John Coffin won’t spend any more time in jail for beating up two sheriff’s deputies inside his house, striking one in the head with a Taser gun he took from the other.
Circuit Judge Rick De Furia said at Coffin’s trial Tuesday that he doesn’t condone the violence against the deputies.
But Coffin, 56, had a right to defend his family and property because the deputies had no right to be in Coffin’s house in the first place, De Furia said.
Hold them to the rule of law. More specifically, when attempts to extradite kidnappers fall on deaf ears, engage Interpol.
See, the kidnappers were CIA. They snatched a German citizen and sent him to be tortured as part of extraordinary rendition. Five months later, they realized they’d fucked up, and brought him back to Europe where they released him on the side of a road in Albania. “Ooops!”
The German government is, understandably, upset. A court in Munich has issued arrest warrants for the 13 agents connected with the kidnapping, but the US has thus far refused to entertain the idea of extraditing them. It’s not hard to imagine how the US would act had one of OUR citizens been treated this way; why they think other countries will accept such behavior is beyond us. “24” is fiction, people.
In the latest example of truly, epically strange bedfellows, Robertson’s anti-ACLU American Center for Law and Justice (note acronym) has filed briefs in support of the kid in the Bong Hits 4 Jesus (NYT link; local PDF) case headed for the Supreme Court. Also on the kid’s side? The real ACLU, natch. On the other side? The Bush Administration. Yep: we’ve actually got Robertson and Bush on opposite sides of an issue, and it’s Robertson who’s with the angels. Crazy.
First, the gist:
On the surface, Joseph Frederick’s dispute with his principal, Deborah Morse, at the Juneau-Douglas High School in Alaska five years ago appeared to have little if anything to do with religion — or perhaps with much of anything beyond a bored senior’s attitude and a harried administrator’s impatience.
As the Olympic torch was carried through the streets of Juneau on its way to the 2002 winter games in Salt Lake City, students were allowed to leave the school grounds to watch. The school band and cheerleaders performed. With television cameras focused on the scene, Mr. Frederick and some friends unfurled a 14-foot-long banner with the inscription: “Bong Hits 4 Jesus.”
Mr. Frederick later testified that he designed the banner, using a slogan he had seen on a snowboard, “to be meaningless and funny, in order to get on television.” Ms. Morse found no humor but plenty of meaning in the sign, recognizing “bong hits” as a slang reference to using marijuana. She demanded that he take the banner down. When he refused, she tore it down, ordered him to her office, and gave him a 10-day suspension.
Pretty ridiculous, right? Well, Frederick sued, and has won his case every time it’s been tried; the SCOTUS is the peabrained school’s last chance. And this is when it gets weird:
While it is hardly surprising to find the American Civil Liberties Union and the National Coalition Against Censorship on Mr. Frederick’s side, it is the array of briefs from organizations that litigate and speak on behalf of the religious right that has lifted Morse v. Frederick out of the realm of the ordinary.
The groups include the American Center for Law and Justice, founded by the Rev. Pat Robertson; the Christian Legal Society; the Alliance Defense Fund, an organization based in Arizona that describes its mission as “defending the right to hear and speak the Truth”; the Rutherford Institute, which has participated in many religion cases before the court; and Liberty Legal Institute, a nonprofit law firm “dedicated to the preservation of First Amendment rights and religious freedom.”
The institute, based in Plano, Tex., told the justices in its brief that it was “gravely concerned that the religious freedom of students in public schools will be damaged” if the court rules for the school board.
More:
The religious groups were particularly alarmed by what they saw as the implication that school boards could define their “educational mission” as they wished and could suppress countervailing speech accordingly.
“Holy moly, look at this! To get drugs we can eliminate free speech in schools?” is how Robert A. Destro, a law professor at Catholic University, described his reaction to the briefs for the school board when the Liberty Legal Institute asked him to consider participating on the Mr. Frederick’s behalf. He quickly signed on.
Having worked closely with Republican administrations for years, Mr. Destro said he was hard pressed to understand the administration’s position. “My guess is they just hadn’t thought it through,” he said in an interview. “To the people who put them in office, they are making an incoherent statement.”
Oh, and Ken Fucking Starr is of course arguing for the government here. Does that guy EVER do anything that isn’t evil?
Please buy us a crater in New Zealand. Kthnxbi.
Here we go again:
The scientists say there’s nothing to worry about, but any time I hear stories about enormous domestic volcanos “rumbling”, we get a little nervous. A dramatic eruption at Yellowstone would be, um, damaging.
From Radley Balko:
Right now, I’m reading Dan Baum’s masterful history of the drug war Smoke and Mirrors for the third time. I can’t recommend it enough.
What becomes abundantly clear from Baum’s reporting: Everything, everything about the prohibition of marijuana is and has always been political. It basically boils down to Richard Nixon needing a wedge issue and a hammer with which to beat the dirty hippie anti-war protesters over the head. With just a bit of research, even hardened drug warriors in Nixon’s own administration in the late 1960s and early 1970s quickly realized marijuana was basically harmless.
From that, we have descended to a point where the government has determined it’s better that sick, crippled, suffering people (a) die, and (b) die in pain, than to give those dirty hippies the smallest of victories, even 35 years later.
Word.
Here’s a few extra facts the media seems unwilling to make clear:
Dude, check these magnets out.
Via Tom, Fear and Loathing in Gonzovision.
Fuck, we miss you, Hunter.
It’s 75 today.
It’s supposed to snow again on Friday.
Bush loyalists are attempting to use Clinton’s removal of the Bush-appointed USAs in 1993 as an example of similar behavior, but it just ain’t so. All presidents replace the USAs when they take office; they’re appointed to 4-year terms, so that’s not at all surprising.
The wacky part here is the idea of FIRING them in the middle of a term. Bush appointed these attorneys in the first place. And, curiously enough, several were involved in high-profile prosecutions of GOP lawmakers (e.g., Duke Cunningham) that were making waves for the Administration and the GOP in general. This is far more like the Saturday Night Massacre than the routine changing-of-the-guards that accompanies the shift from one administration to the next.
See more here and here. Oh, and here’s another bit on how Bush’s dismissal of a USA resulted in the halt of an investigation into . . . Jack Abramoff. Whups!
Mrs. Heathen kept her streak of birthday surprises alive by orchestrating a pile of cards, faxes, and gifts delivered to our hotel yesterday.
We love everybody. Thanks!
That is, you should, unless you already know the difference between Sunni and Shia.
The summary: Islam’s Whittenberg Door moment came when Muhammad died; the issue was not faith vs. works but instead one of sucession.
The more “orthodox” view, held by Sunnis — who comprise by far the largest chunk of Muslims worldwide — is that Abu Bakr, a relative and early convert, is the rightful heir to the Prophet. This was a big deal politically as well as spiritually. Muhammad had a close relationship with Bakr, and frequently asked him to lead prayers in his absence, and furthermore was selected by a large group of Muslims upon the Prophet’s death (at Medina, in 632), which gives credence to this view. About ninety percent of Muslims are Sunni.
There were, of course, those who refused to accept Bakr, and who instead supported Ali ibn Abi Talib, also a relative of the Prophet (and also his son-in-law). Complicating matters is that Ali did eventually become Caliph (the 4th), but this doesn’t seem to mollify the Shia. To them, he’s the first Imam, as opposed to the last of the Four Rightly Guided Caliphs (as he is to Sunnis). Shia have a significant majority only in Iran and Iraq.
The divide was sufficiently far back that oral tradition has produced different traditions and spiritual laws as well as titles; Ayatollah is a Shia role, for example (apparently).
All this matters for lots of reasons, but one big damn deal to take note of is the fact that the Taliban and Osama are fundamentalist Sunnis, not Shia.
From the WaPo:
The White House suggested two years ago that the Justice Department fire all 93 U.S. attorneys, a proposal that eventually resulted in the dismissals of eight prosecutors last year, according to e-mails and internal documents that the administration will provide to Congress today.
Via Josh Marshall:
As has happened so many times in the last six years, the maximal version of this story — which seemed logical six weeks ago but which I couldn’t get myself to believe — turns out to be true. Indeed, it’s worse. We now know that Gonzales, McNulty and Moschella each lied to Congress. We know that the purge was a plan that began at the White House — and it was overseen by two of President Bush’s closest lieutenants in Washington — Miers and Gonzales. Sampson is the second resignation. There will certainly be more.
In Florida, you can rot in prison for taking legally prescribed meds. No shit.
Florida’s Supreme Court has rejected an appeal from Richard Paey, a wheelchair-using father of three who is currently serving a 25-year mandatory prison sentence for taking his own pain medication. In doing so, the court let stand a decision which essentially claims that the courts have no role in checking the powers of the executive and legislative branches of government when an individual outcome is patently unjust.
Richard Paey — who suffers both multiple sclerosis and from the aftermath of a disastrous and barbaric back surgery that resulted in multiple major malpractice judgments–now receives virtually twice as much morphine in prison than the equivalent in opioid medications for which he was convicted of forging prescriptions.
There’s so much wrong with this it’s hard to know where to start:
Jesus Fuck, Pelosi, grow some Goddamn balls.
It’s our birthday.
So, just when we’d gotten adjusted to the early start of consulting for a manufacturing company — a reality further complicated by the fact that said client is in the Eastern time zone, instead of Central — Congress has to go and fuck with DST.
It was dark when we left the hotel this morning.
(We really like that some are calling this “USAgate,” btw.)
Some in Congress are beginning to wonder if the AG ought to resign, considering the fact that using the Federal law enforcement machine to punish political rivals, and firing those who don’t play along, is, well, illegal.
Take a look here. They are now, have always been, and probably always will be a mouthpiece for the most extreme wing of the Bush partisan GOP. Everything pro-Bush is good; anything at all contrary to White House talking points is buried or slimed. That’s SOP for them, and there’s no reason to think they’ll shape up. They’re not journalism; they’re propaganda.
Dude, thanks to Sprint, we’re totally blogging from an airplane.
(Door’s still open. Calm down.)
Go here and do this. You won’t be sorry.
(Especially clever Heathen will also enjoy the Turrell tunnel, and will further realize why said installation is a particular favorite of ours at Heathen Central.)
The Feds have been abusing the hell out of the PATRIOT act. Who’s surprised?
The people we trust to protect us deserve MORE scrutiny and oversight than regular citizens, not less.
Ze Frank has finally delivered the remixes and video to Ray.
Sometimes, we really love the Intarwub.
They’re rolling out R2D2 mailboxes for the 30th anniversary of Star Wars. Hawesome!
If you only read one piece about the Arcade Fire this year, make it this one. Here’s a great sample:
There were church organ pipes along the wall behind the pulpit, but they did not use the church organ for the church organ parts. Disappointing. Also, no one playfully ripped out Tocatta and Fugue in D Minor, which should be the very first thing you do when fucking around with music in a church.
Rock on. We gotta hurry back to H-town so’s we can snag Neon Bible. Who the hell knows if they have Montreal weird-art-rock in Maryland?
(Via BrainWidth, who is also responsible for us knowing about the MP3 of their 17 Feb show at NPR. He’s awful cool for a lawyer.)
We expect there will be several of these.
(Hi, Tom.)
You don’t really need more than that, do you? Here you go. (BoingBoing link; SFW.)
Go read this, and see if there’s any other possible explanation. Bush is the most verbally and publically “Christian” president we’ve had in a long while (though reasonable people may differ on the authenticity of his faith), but he seems to have completely forgotten some key tenets of his supposed favorite philosopher.
The kicker quote is at the end. Don’t miss it.
Just a bit more on how badly Bush has botched perhaps the second biggest problem facing his presidency when he took office in 2001: North Korea.
That whole “let’s fire a bunch of qualified US Attorneys and appoint stooges who will do what we want” plan isn’t looking so good now, is it?
We reproduce in whole here an editorial from the March 4 NYT covering their “must do” list for the new Congress. Actually, it’s more like a “must un-do” list, since the focus is repairing the damage brought by years of Republican thuggery:
The Bush administration’s assault on some of the founding principles of American democracy marches onward despite the Democratic victory in the 2006 elections. The new Democratic majorities in Congress can block the sort of noxious measures that the Republican majority rubber-stamped. But preventing new assaults on civil liberties is not nearly enough.
Five years of presidential overreaching and Congressional collaboration continue to exact a high toll in human lives, America’s global reputation and the architecture of democracy. Brutality toward prisoners, and the denial of their human rights, have been institutionalized; unlawful spying on Americans continues; and the courts are being closed to legal challenges of these practices.
It will require forceful steps by this Congress to undo the damage. A few lawmakers are offering bills intended to do just that, but they are only a start. Taking on this task is a moral imperative that will show the world the United States can be tough on terrorism without sacrificing its humanity and the rule of law.
Today we’re offering a list — which, sadly, is hardly exhaustive — of things that need to be done to reverse the unwise and lawless policies of President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney. Many will require a rewrite of the Military Commissions Act of 2006, an atrocious measure pushed through Congress with the help of three Republican senators, Arlen Specter, Lindsey Graham and John McCain; Senator McCain lent his moral authority to improving one part of the bill and thus obscured its many other problems.
Our list starts with three fundamental tasks:
Restore Habeas Corpus
One of the new act’s most indecent provisions denies anyone Mr. Bush labels an “illegal enemy combatant” the ancient right to challenge his imprisonment in court. The arguments for doing this were specious. Habeas corpus is nothing remotely like a get-out-of-jail-free card for terrorists, as supporters would have you believe. It is a way to sort out those justly detained from those unjustly detained. It will not “clog the courts,” as Senator Graham claims. Senator Patrick Leahy of Vermont, the Democratic chairman of the Judiciary Committee, has a worthy bill that would restore habeas corpus. It is essential to bringing integrity to the detention system and reviving the United States’ credibility.
Stop Illegal Spying
Mr. Bush’s program of intercepting Americans’ international calls and e-mail messages without a warrant has not ceased. The agreement announced recently — under which a secret court supposedly gave its blessing to the program — did nothing to restore judicial process or ensure that Americans’ rights are preserved. Congress needs to pass a measure, like one proposed by Senator Dianne Feinstein, to force Mr. Bush to obey the law that requires warrants for electronic surveillance.
Ban Torture, Really
The provisions in the Military Commissions Act that Senator McCain trumpeted as a ban on torture are hardly that. It is still largely up to the president to decide what constitutes torture and abuse for the purpose of prosecuting anyone who breaks the rules. This amounts to rewriting the Geneva Conventions and puts every American soldier at far greater risk if captured. It allows the president to decide in secret what kinds of treatment he will permit at the Central Intelligence Agency’s prisons. The law absolves American intelligence agents and their bosses of any acts of torture and abuse they have already committed.
Many of the tasks facing Congress involve the way the United States takes prisoners, and how it treats them. There are two sets of prisons in the war on terror. The military runs one set in Iraq, Afghanistan and Guantanamo Bay. The other is even more shadowy, run by the C.I.A. at secret places.
Close the C.I.A. Prisons
When the Military Commissions Act passed, Mr. Bush triumphantly announced that he now had the power to keep the secret prisons open. He cast this as a great victory for national security. It was a defeat for America’s image around the world. The prisons should be closed.
Account for ‘Ghost Prisoners’
The United States has to come clean on all of the “ghost prisoners” it has in the secret camps. Holding prisoners without any accounting violates human rights norms. Human Rights Watch says it has identified nearly 40 men and women who have disappeared into secret American-run prisons.
Ban Extraordinary Rendition
This is the odious practice of abducting foreign citizens and secretly flying them to countries where everyone knows they will be tortured. It is already illegal to send a prisoner to a country if there is reason to believe he will be tortured. The administration’s claim that it got “diplomatic assurances” that prisoners would not be abused is laughable.
A bill by Representative Edward Markey, Democrat of Massachusetts, would require the executive branch to list countries known to abuse and torture prisoners. No prisoner could be sent to any of them unless the secretary of state certified that the country’s government no longer abused its prisoners or offered a way to verify that a prisoner will not be mistreated. It says “diplomatic assurances” are not sufficient.
Congress needs to completely overhaul the military prisons for terrorist suspects, starting with the way prisoners are classified. Shortly after 9/11, Mr. Bush declared all members of Al Qaeda and the Taliban to be “illegal enemy combatants” not entitled to the protections of the Geneva Conventions or American justice. Over time, the designation was applied to anyone the administration chose, including some United States citizens and the entire detainee population of Gitmo.
To address this mess, the government must:
Tighten the Definition of Combatant
“Illegal enemy combatant” is assigned a dangerously broad definition in the Military Commissions Act. It allows Mr. Bush — or for that matter anyone he chooses to designate to do the job — to apply this label to virtually any foreigner anywhere, including those living legally in the United States.
Screen Prisoners Fairly and Effectively
When the administration began taking prisoners in Afghanistan, it did not much bother to screen them. Hundreds of innocent men were sent to Gitmo, where far too many remain to this day. The vast majority will never even be brought before tribunals and still face indefinite detention without charges.
Under legal pressure, Mr. Bush created “combatant status review tribunals,” but they are a mockery of any civilized legal proceeding. They take place thousands of miles from the point of capture, and often years later. Evidence obtained by coercion and torture is permitted. The inmates do not get to challenge this evidence. They usually do not see it.
The Bush administration uses the hoary “fog of war” dodge to justify the failure to screen prisoners, saying it is not practical to do that on the battlefield. That’s nonsense. It did not happen in Afghanistan, and often in Iraq, because Mr. Bush decided just to ship the prisoners off to Gitmo.
Prisoners designated as illegal combatants are subject to trial rules out of the Red Queen’s playbook. The administration refuses to allow lawyers access to 14 terrorism suspects transferred in September from C.I.A. prisons to Guantanamo. It says that if they had a lawyer, they might say that they were tortured or abused at the C.I.A. prisons, and anything that happened at those prisons is secret.
At first, Mr. Bush provided no system of trial at the Guantanamo camp. Then he invented his own military tribunals, which were rightly overturned by the Supreme Court. Congress then passed the Military Commissions Act, which did not fix the problem. Some tasks now for Congress:
Ban Tainted Evidence
The Military Commissions Act and the regulations drawn up by the Pentagon to put it into action, are far too permissive on evidence obtained through physical abuse or coercion. This evidence is unreliable. The method of obtaining it is an affront.
Ban Secret Evidence
Under the Pentagon’s new rules for military tribunals, judges are allowed to keep evidence secret from a prisoner’s lawyer if the government persuades the judge it is classified. The information that may be withheld can include interrogation methods, which would make it hard, if not impossible, to prove torture or abuse.
Better Define ‘Classified Evidence’
The military commission rules define this sort of secret evidence as “any information or material that has been determined by the United States government pursuant to statute, executive order or regulation to require protection against unauthorized disclosure for reasons of national security.” This is too broad, even if a president can be trusted to exercise the power fairly and carefully. Mr. Bush has shown he cannot be trusted to do that.
Respect the Right to Counsel
Soon after 9/11, the Bush administration allowed the government to listen to conversations and intercept mail between some prisoners and their lawyers. This had the effect of suspending their right to effective legal representation. Since then, the administration has been unceasingly hostile to any lawyers who defend detainees. The right to legal counsel does not exist to coddle serial terrorists or snarl legal proceedings. It exists to protect innocent people from illegal imprisonment.
Beyond all these huge tasks, Congress should halt the federal government’s race to classify documents to avoid public scrutiny — 15.6 million in 2005, nearly double the 2001 number. It should also reverse the grievous harm this administration has done to the Freedom of Information Act by encouraging agencies to reject requests for documents whenever possible. Congress should curtail F.B.I. spying on nonviolent antiwar groups and revisit parts of the Patriot Act that allow this practice.
The United States should apologize to a Canadian citizen and a German citizen, both innocent, who were kidnapped and tortured by American agents.
Oh yes, and it is time to close the Guantanamo camp. It is a despicable symbol of the abuses committed by this administration (with Congress’s complicity) in the name of fighting terrorism.
From I am not a state secret, an op-ed in the LATimes by Khaled El-Masri, who was kidnapped by the CIA in 2003:
ON NEW YEAR’S EVE in 2003, I was seized at the border of Serbia and Macedonia by Macedonian police who mistakenly believed that I was traveling on a false German passport. I was detained incommunicado for more than three weeks. Then I was handed over to the American Central Intelligence Agency and was stripped, severely beaten, shackled, dressed in a diaper, injected with drugs, chained to the floor of a plane and flown to Afghanistan, where I was imprisoned in a foul dungeon for more than four months.
Long after the American government realized that I was an entirely innocent man, I was blindfolded, put back on a plane, flown to Europe and left on a hilltop in Albania — without any explanation or apology for the nightmare that I had endured.
My story is well known. It has been described in literally hundreds of newspaper articles and television news programs — many of them relying on sources within the U.S. government. It has been the subject of numerous investigations and reports by intergovernmental bodies, including the European Parliament. Most recently, prosecutors in my own country of Germany are pursuing indictments against 13 CIA agents and contractors for their role in my kidnapping, abuse and detention. Although I never could have imagined it, and certainly never wished it, I have become the public face of the CIA’s “extraordinary rendition” program.
Why, then, does the American government insist that my ordeal is a state secret? This is something beyond my comprehension. In December 2005, with the help of the American Civil Liberties Union, I sued former CIA Director George Tenet along with other CIA agents and contractors for their roles in my kidnapping, mistreatment and arbitrary detention. Above all, what I want from the lawsuit is a public acknowledgment from the U.S. government that I was innocent, a mistaken victim of its rendition program, and an apology for what I was forced to endure. Without this vindication, it has been impossible for me to return to a normal life.
The U.S. government does not deny that I was wrongfully kidnapped. Instead, it has argued in court that my case must be dismissed because any litigation of my claims will expose state secrets and jeopardize American security, even though President Bush has told the world about the CIA’s detention program, and even though my allegations have been corroborated by eyewitnesses and other evidence. To my amazement and dismay, last May, a federal district court judge agreed with the government and threw out my case. And then Friday, the U.S. 4th Circuit Court of Appeals upheld that decision. It seems that the only place in the world where my case cannot be discussed is in a U.S. courtroom.
There is, of course, more. Hit the link for the whole piece.
Employees communicate with condiments.
Appeals will, of course, follow, but it’s nice to see someone associated with this absurdly corrupt administration called to account.
At least, compared to these guys. (thanks, rob.)
They’ve convinced the copyright royalty board to charge webcasters and online radio stations rates that will almost certainly doom the format.
“North Korea has nuclear weapons today because George W. Bush is a stupid, stupid man.”
More.
Not far from Heathen Central, HPD found a house filled with pot:
Investigators from the Houston Police Department’s narcotics division say the single-story brick residence was home to one of the largest, most sophisticated “grow houses” Houston has ever seen.
Inside the dwelling at 1202 W. Drew, investigators found an estimated 1,000 marijuana plants in large plastic trays, many ready for harvest. Every room in the house was used for cultivation, with high-tech soil-free hydroponic equipment and special lights to simulate sunlight and a watering system on an electrical timer. The kitchen stored fertilizer and insecticide. The total value of the harvest in a year was estimated at $3.8 million, HPD Sgt. John Yencha said.
Montrose RULES.
Kitten on a treadmill, backed by MC Hammer. Taken from this collection of silly cats.