Dept. of Chickens, Roosting

Back when I was in the RFID business, we first started hearing rumblings of the colossally stupid notion of putting RFID chips in U.S. passports. Predictably and in true “Gummit Security” fashion, those in charge dismissed complaints from RFID and private-sector security experts with vague handwaving and unresponsive answers despite the fact that the approach was doomed to compromise almost immediately. No-contact data reads on a piece of ID? Why? And what the hell are you thinking?

Well, it turns out they really weren’t thinking at all, at least beyond “hey! RFID is cool!” A hacker has already put together a drive-by passport cloner/reader using only $250 worth of off the shelf parts. Color me completely unsurprised.

The digital equivalent of tire-squealing

So, when I got my first Porsche, I had a great time. I wrapped it around corners and shot off the line at stoplights and in general drove like it was meant to be driven, recognizing that doing so was wasteful and silly and, thanks to the softness of Z-rated tires, expensive.

The analogy breaks down at the tire point, since there’s no lasting cost associated with this kind of showing-off, but otherwise this 200 apps open and Expose-enaged screenshot of a Mac is definitely in the same category of silly trick. You couldn’t do what I did in my Porsche in a Camry, and you can’t do this with a Windows machine, but neither activity is particularly useful.

But they’re cool.

Ouch.

Since the meltdown began, I’ve been studiously following a practice that I was actually first advised of in a far better market environment: Do not open your retirement statements.

Well, at year end, you sort of have to, since they send you tax info that you’ll need for the 1040 process.

Ouch. 12/31/2008 value? About half the 12/31/2007 value, even in a mix of fairly conservative funds also age-indexed to gradually reduce risk. Christ.

Lies, damned lies, and the lapdog media

New RNC chair told CNN pseudo-journalist Wolf Blitzer “Not in the history of mankind has the government ever created a job.”

Really? As TPM points out — and as every reasonably intelligent Heathen should know for themselves in Houston, of all places — this is utterly obvious bullshit. Thousands and thousands of people beg to differ, working as they do for organizations like NASA, or the military, or the park service, or any of an alphabet soup of Federal or state agencies that provide services we all take for granted.

Of course, we expect Republicans to traffic in absurdly transparent lies. What’s nearly criminal here is that Blitzer did nothing to challenge the lie. Tell us again about the “liberal media,” Republicans. Really.

Dept. of Open Letters

Dear Layla,

So, a week or so ago, your Aunt and I went to Washington to see something amazing happen. What made it even more exceptional to us is the fact that for you, in your life, it will always be simple history, just as “men walking on the moon” is a boring fact for your Dad and I but astonishing science fiction come true for your grandmother. Barack Obama became the 44th president of the United States on January 20, 2009, and your Aunt Bo and I got to be there to see it happen, standing in the cold about 450 feet from the podium, in an astonishing crowd of 2 million amazed Americans.

We got this extreme pleasure because Erin worked her ass off on the Obama campaign here in Houston, organizing phone banks and canvassing squads, managing other volunteers, and generally making herself as indispensable to the local DNC and OFA staffers as she always is to me. This got us “Silver” class standing tickets, which put us in the outermost ticketed area — people behind us were ticketless, standing on the National Mall. (We found out later that we apparently were lucky to have the Silvers; some folks in the nicer, closer Blue and Purple sections were victims of crowd management gone bad, and never got in.) From where we stood, we could barely discern the podium, but we could see the Jumbotron quite clearly, and the PA system worked fine. We had no trouble hearing the speeches, the music, or Justice Roberts bollocksing up the oath.

Without these tickets, I’m not sure we would have tried to go — I hope we would have; being there is now one of my most treasured experiences, and rates on the list only a few slots behind the first time I held you. But we got the tickets, and Erin’s brother-in-law’s mom had room for us in Chevy Chase not far from the Bethesda metro stop, and we had the frequent flier miles to keep us from having to spend a fortune on plane tickets, so to DC we went. My boss was envious and supportive despite the crunch we were under at the time, and even texted me to cheer for him on Tuesday. (Of course, owing to the overloaded cell network, I didn’t get the text until well after the Inauguration was over. I’m confident our cheer volume was sufficient, though.)

The frequent flier mile tickets put us up there early, on Saturday, which was fine with Erin and I since we have friends in the District. We stayed with our friend Tony in Virginia that first night. His apartment was full of his kids’ artwork, and seeing all that gave me the same good feeling I always have when I see Tony and his kids. It’s neat to see who this guy from college grew up to be, which I’m sure is a feeling you’ll get someday. Anyway, we went out to dinner with Tony on Saturday, and then drove into the District to do some nighttime monument photography. It was super cold, and we froze our butts off wandering around from the Washington Monument all the way down to the Lincoln Memorial.

Something weird was going on when we arrived there; music was playing, and we could see shapes moving on the jumbotrons set up for Sunday’s Inaugural concert. We assumed it was a sound-and-systems-check of some kind — it was already about 9:00, and no one was out — but as we got closer we could recognize the singer. First, it was James Taylor, and we joked about “what kind of weirdo does a soundcheck with James Taylor,” but then it became an unknown voice singing “American Pie,” and we were close enough by then to be able to tell from the screens that it was someone actually performing. We just couldn’t tell who it was until we got a bit closer, when one of us said “Is that Garth Brooks singing American Pie which a choir?” Yes, yes it was. We figure it was a soundcheck or something — there was literally no crowd beyond those working the event — so it was kind of weird. Brooks, for his part, has been largely absent from American popular culture for at least 10 years now, so recognizing him (especially without his trademark hat) was sort of a challenge.

When we came back to the Mall on Sunday for the concert, it was with about 400,000 other people. The area around the Lincoln’s reflecting pool was a sea of people, all bundled up against the cold and forecast, but never actual, snow. A somewhat bizarre who’s-who of artists played that afternoon in honor of the new president-elect, from Bruce Springsteen to U2 to the 89-year-old folk icon Pete Seeger (and Brooks, natch, this time in his black hat). Actors read from significant speeches between musical numbers, and we all got a little taste of what Tuesday’s throngs would be like. It was here, on Sunday, that we first encountered the “friendliest massive throng of humanity EVER” phenomenon, as strangers willingly parted to reunite separated people, shoving was almost unheard of, and smiling epidemic. People danced and sang along, and listened intently when Obama spoke at the end of the afternoon. We were very, very cold when we made our way back to the Metro, but also excited and pleased and hopeful.

Monday was our less busy day; we were by this point working out of Virginia Ceasar’s home in Maryland, enjoying wonderful hospitality at a price you can’t beat (i.e., free). She was delightful to us, constantly ferrying us to the Metro at a moment’s notice, and for that Erin and I remain very grateful. We met up with the “Texans for Obama” crowd at a downtown brewpub for lunch, which turned out to be a delightful if insanely crowded affair. Erin’s crack squad of volunteers was there — including Paddy, a young man from Dublin who was so inspired by Obama that he took leave and flew to the US to volunteer on the campaign — along with the Texas-wide muckety-mucks and at least one surprise: an old friend of mine, long since moved to El Paso, had done a huge share of volunteering in West Texas since her husband worked for the DNC out there. It’s always fun to run into people in faraway places, but it was especially cool to add that kind of fun on top of the emotional high of Inauguration week.

Tuesday came quickly enough. The inauguration was set to begin at 11:30, as I recall, but we left Virginia’s before 8:00. She, of course, took us to the Metro station, fortunately on the same line as the Mall exit we planned to use to get to our section, Judiciary Square. The throng effect was already in place when we emerged just north of the Mall about half an hour later, and from that point on we pretty much stayed in a massive crowd until about 2:30 that afternoon.

There was some confusion about the proper walking route from north-of-the-Mall to the Silver entrance point on the south side, but eventually we did locate the path — which involved, hilariously, walking through an underground tunnel ordinarily closed to pedestrians. Walking, walking, and more walking ensued, until finally we found what we thought was the Silver entrance line. We followed it, and followed it, and followed it some more for about 45 minutes before we found what we thought was the end of it at about 9:45, our hearts sinking since the mile+ of line was not moving, and we were terribly afraid we’d be standing in line until well after the Inauguration was over.

In a gesture of absurd hope, I left Erin in the line and jogged about 20 yards over to a red-capped Inauguration volunteer to ask what was up. His answer saved our day: “yeah, the line’s broken and doesn’t lead anywhere. Just go back towards the entrance just west of the Indian museum, and you’ll get in there.” I yelled for Erin, and we ran for it, just ahead of a general announcement to the rest of the line. Lucky, lucky, lucky.

When we got the gate, we were cheek-by-jowl with hundreds if not thousands of other people all trying to move in roughly the same direction. (The upside of this was that it was the only time all day that both of us were warm.) Eventually, an opening happened, and we started to slowly “flow” into the Silver area, but we’d have been fine if we’d had to stay where we were: from there, at least, we could see the Capitol, and hear the PA.

We reached security soon enough. I assumed a full patdown was about to happen — I hadn’t even brought a pocketknife — but the crowds were such that they were just more or less waving people through to try to prevent a stampede, I guess. They never even checked our ticket, and by 10:30 we were standing at a fence separating us from 3rd street. A few minutes later we realized we could easily get much closer, and that’s when we relocated to our ultimate spot only a couple dozen yards back from the Capitol’s reflecting pool.

Looking back across the Mall, all the way back to the Washington Monument, there was an uninterrupted sea of people. Later, they said 2 million, but the Park Service — who control and maintain the Mall — no longer does official projections, so we’ll probably never know how many folks really were there. (It’s a fair bet that more will claim to have been there than actually were, too.) Where we were, we once again encountered the bizarre “friendly crowd” vibe so totally unusual for anyone used to big crowds — and when I say “big crowds,” I mean 50,000 or 100,000 at a major sporting event, not twenty times that for an event of global sociopolitical importance. No shoving. “Here, you dropped your glove.” “Need another handwarmer? I have extras.” “Let me take y’all’s picture.” And smiles, smiles, smiles. I got goosebumps as we stood, watching the former presidents — Carter, George H. W. Bush, Clinton, and the incumbent — file in, and we all laughed and smiled some more when the cameras caught Obama’s daughters fidgeting and taking pictures of their own. Soon their dad stood, hand on the Lincoln bible, and took the Oath 42 other men took before him. (Quick quiz: why is the 44th president but only the 43rd man to take the oath?)

For your aunt and I, and for your parents, this election was more about getting our country back than anything else. Bush’s ruinous policies were hostile to growth, hostile to civil liberties, hostile to our national prestige, destructive to our alliances, and hateful to the principles on which our country was founded. Obama came from seemingly out of the blue in 2004 with a convention speech about fixing all that, and emerged quickly as a truly inspiring frontrunner even in the Democratic primaries two years later. The more he spoke, the more specifics of policy he proposed, and the more class he showed as a candidate, the more supporters he gained. He was the anti-Bush, but also a candidate of vision unlike any we’ve had in a generation or more. Clinton won twice, but he won by being better at the political game than the hangdog Republicans he ran against, and he was aided in both his elections by a freakshow third-party candidate that sapped support from the Right. Obama just plain WON, and in a way that reminded more than a few folks of RFK’s aborted campaign 40 years ago.

So there’s that, and this was emotional and incredible and hopeful, and it was this change that inspired many people, like me, to give money to a candidate for the first time, and to volunteer more time and effort than they’d ever given before. This was a huge opportunity, and one none of us wanted to blow.

But there was something else happening here, too, and it’s the thing I alluded to at the beginning of this letter. Barack Obama is an African-american. He may not be descended from American slaves, like his wife and children, but to the rednecks of our ancestral home that doesn’t matter, and by the time you’re old enough to read this you’ll know well the hateful terms those sorts of people would use for a man who looks like Obama. Bigots notwithstanding, America’s promise as laid forth in our Declaration of Independence does not stutter, and it does not equivocate: We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

This has been a promise unkept for most of country’s history. For the first hundred years, we kept our collective fingers crossed, and whispered “um, except slaves,” and called it ok. For the next hundred, we said everyone was free, but instituted a shameful system of separation and substandard services for black Americans, a situation only partly remedied by the 60s and the civil rights era. People fought and died to make the Declaration true at Concord, yes, but also at Gettysburg, and also in quiet and not so quiet ways in Mississippi and Alabama in the 1960s. Evil men murdered peaceful idealists only a few years before I was born, and it took the intervention of the National Guard to integrate schools and ensure the Voting Rights Act wasn’t a sick joke. I grew up hearing “good” men, friends of your grandfather, tell racist jokes well into the 1970s. I have friends from college, born after the moon shot, who nevertheless have the memory of being called “nigger” to their face. It’s not dead, not yet anyway.

This is also all history for you. This also part of the litany of names and dates and places some terribly boring teacher has tried to cram into your head at some point. But let me tell you: no matter how amazing and moved and happy Erin and I were to watch Barack Obama take that oath last Tuesday at what your dad and I called “the end of an Error,” our happiness cannot compare to the collective joy of the African-Americans in that Inaugural crowd. An older black couple, about your Grandmother Green’s age, stood near us. If I’m right about their ages, the were born in the war, and remember Selma and lunch counters and colored-only water fountains and the absurdity of great jazz musicians playing in clubs where they couldn’t get served. But on Tuesday, the 20th of January, 2009, they watched as American moved from Jim Crow to Barack Obama in a single lifetime, a transition that a makes your great-great grandmother Anise’s stores of moving from horseback to 747 seem like a hop over a puddle.

This is why so many people went to Washington. The hope and the change and the promise after eight years of Bush, yes, but behind that a groundswell of amazement and pride and happiness about the way we were getting the change we needed. In 1938, Langston Hughes wrote “America never was America to me, And yet I swear this oath — America will be!” In 2009, we got a lot closer to being what Hughes was talking about, to being who we said we’d be in 1776. We aren’t there yet. We’ll probably never get there; the ideals Jefferson set out are almost impossible, and assume our better Angels will always hold sway, but they are who we say we want to be. America is an aspirational state. But it’s that American optimism that makes me believe that by the time you’re old enough to read this, we’ll be even closer to that ideal than we are now, in January of 2009.

Love,

Uncle Chet

CC: Caroline, Natalie, and a nephew to be named later

Cash as proof of guilt? The DEA thinks so.

Professional poker player David Peat was mugged by the DEA to the tune of about sixty large at the Detroit airport for buying a first class ticket with cash. They say he may get his cash and watch back later.

Someone needs to put the legal smackdown on these thugs. Seizing property without a criminal conviction is theft, plain and simple, and those who engage in it should be held accountable, from the agents doing the seizing to their supervisors to those who made the policy. It’s absurd, grotesque, and unamerican. Cash is not a crime.

Warren Ellis finds the Cool

These photocollages from Sergei Larenkov blend WWII-era black and whites with modern color shots taken from the same perspective in the same place for a ghostly same-place-different-time montage.

It sounds a little weird when described, but just go look. It’s very cool.

Posted in Pix

Dept. of Shit That Annoys Me Today

  1. I love my iPhone, and one thing I love about it is that it can join wifi networks when they’re in range. However, when I’m not at home, I end up having to keep this feature off because most of the wifi I encounter is set up such that the wifi network itself is only quasi-open; you have to open a browser and “log in” to get real access to the outside world. This is only slightly irritating on a laptop, but it’s a utility killer on a phone of any kind — I pull out my phone to check mail, and it’ll take me a minute to discover the “network” I’m on is useless, and that I’ll need to revert to cell. Fuck you, Starbuck’s.

  2. I hate the entire “worse is better” state of affairs with outboard drives. USB 2 “won” by being cheaper (and, as a consequence, slower in practice) than Firewire 400, but the Achilles’ heel is that USB2 wasn’t meant to carry power, so the so-called “bus powered” no-power-plug USB drives frequently require TWO USB ports to function. Maybe this works for people on desktops, but my laptop only has two USB ports, and the Seagate I’m arguing with now seems to need to be plugged directly in, not via a (powered) hub. Goodbye, full-sized keyboard and nice mouse, at least for the next little while. Grrrr. Firewire R00lz.

Yet another reason why being a kid today is better

Compared to the games of today available for kids, Candyland and its ilk sucked balls.

The problem is true interactivity and the influence of chance. Games children play today — especially electronic or video games — tend to reward decision-making and paying attention and decoding the environment of the game. Games like Candyland are 100% games of chance, with no hope of mastery and no reward for paying attention or experimenting.

Super Mario Brothers is a vastly more interesting task, cognitively speaking, than drawing cards and rolling dice.

Comeuppance coming?

Rep. Conyers has issued a new subpoena to Karl Rove in re: the US attorney firings. With Bush in the White House, this was a nonstarter — but the courts have rejected the absolute-immunity argument, and Obama previously called the claim “completely misguided.”

It’ll be interesting to see what happens next.

Update: Looks like it’s up to Obama.

Libertarian Take on Obama’s Executive Orders

Agitator Radley Balko put it this way: “Holy Crap!” Some excerpts:

[I]n a broad swipe at the Bush administration’s lawyers, Obama nullified every legal order and opinion on interrogations issued by any lawyer in the executive branch after Sept. 11, 2001.

It’s worth emphasizing again here these steps Obama’s taking effectively limit his own power. That’s extraordinary.

Today in Future Tech

Photojournalist David Bergman created a 1,474 megapixel composite image of the Inauguration that you can scroll around and zoom with, a la Blade Runner. It takes a while to load, but it’s amazingly cool once you get it. Check it out.

My final photo is made up of 220 Canon G10 images and the file is 59,783 X 24,658 pixels or 1,474 megapixels. It took more than six and a half hours for the Gigapan software to put together all of the images on my Macbook Pro and the completed TIF file is almost 2 gigabytes.

Yeow. It’ll be a while before we’re capturing this kind of data with our point-and-shoots, but that it’s possible now at all is pretty cool.

Posted in Pix

You know this scream

I was sure I’d written before about the Amen Break, a drum break taken from a 1960s group that you’ve heard over and over and over. Actually, it’s this documentary I thought I’d linked — if you haven’t heard it, carve out 20 minutes and listen; it’s worth your time.

Anyway, it turns out that the Wilhelm Scream is sort of the Amen Break of ADR/foley screams, and has appeared in countless fight sequences since its debut in 1951’s “Distant Drums,” including Star Wars. Check it out.

Grrrr

I don’t mind being on hold. I don’t even mind hold music. What drives me bats is having a recording pop in every 30 or 60 seconds to tell me I’m still on hold. Music’s easy to tune out, so you can get work done while you’re waiting; the recording is interruptive enough to shake you out of whatever task you’re doing while on hold, more or less ensuring that you can do nothing other than sit on hold.

Assholes.

And yet more good news

Today, President Obama signed orders closing Gitmo and other extrajudicial CIA prisons.

And if that wasn’t enough, his directives regarding disclosure and transparency are worrying convervatives who think they might enable investigations of Bush-era crimes. Make no mistake; their worry is about disclosure, not about crimes, which is so wrong I’m sort of dizzy just considering it. Incidentally, this shift in policy — to lean towards disclosure, not secrecy — is essentially a return to Clinton-era rules:

[The Bush administration’s 2001 FOIA] directive encouraged federal agencies to reject requests for documents if there was any legal basis to do so, promising that the Justice Department would defend them in court. It was a stark reversal of the policy set eight years earlier, when the Clinton administration told agencies to make records available whenever they could, even if the law provided a reason not to, so long as there was no ”foreseeable harm” from the release.

Still catching up, but if you missed it…

… you should really read these two paragraphs from President Obama’s Inaugural Address:

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience’s sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

This is going to make your head hurt

There’s an op-ed today in the NYT that supposes any two-state solution for Israel and Palestine is by default untenable, since both groups have legitimate claims to the land. It’s an even-handed, thoughtful piece about the realities of this aspect of Mid-east politics. Some excerpts:

THE shocking level of the last wave of Israeli-Palestinian violence, which ended with this weekend’s cease-fire, reminds us why a final resolution to the so-called Middle East crisis is so important. It is vital not just to break this cycle of destruction and injustice, but also to deny the religious extremists in the region who feed on the conflict an excuse to advance their own causes.

But everywhere one looks, among the speeches and the desperate diplomacy, there is no real way forward. A just and lasting peace between Israel and the Palestinians is possible, but it lies in the history of the people of this conflicted land, and not in the tired rhetoric of partition and two-state solutions.

It’s a calm call for the participants to please stop being fuckheads and just get along. And the author is Muammar Qaddafi, I shit you not.

(Via Rob.)

A good sign

NYT:

Dennis C. Blair, the retired admiral who is President Obama’s choice as the nation’s top intelligence official, pledged in testimony to be delivered on Thursday that he would require counterterrorism programs to operate “in a manner consistent with our nation’s values, consistent with our Constitution and consistent with the rule of law.”

and more:

“I do not and will not support any surveillance activities that circumvent established processes for their lawful authorization,” he said in the testimony. “I believe in the importance of independent monitoring, including by Congress, to prevent abuses and protect civil liberties.”

In an unusual comment from a man who will head the most secret agencies of government, he said, “There is a need for transparency and accountability in a mission where most work necessarily remains hidden from public view.” He said that if confirmed, he would “communicate frequently and candidly with the oversight committees, and as much as possible with the American people.”

Imagine hearing that — or even the words “rule of law” — from a Bush appointee.

You got one job today, Johnny. Can you not get it right?

You heard right. Chief Justice Roberts bungled the oath.

Granted, this doesn’t actually matter; no oath is required; from Wikipedia:

Article 2 of the the United States Constitution states that the President must take the oath before he enter office. This was superseded by the 20th Amendment[5] which states that the terms of the President and Vice President shall end at noon on the 20th day of January and the terms of their successors shall then begin. This would therefore allow the President to assume the duties of the office without requiring the oath to be administered.

Keep this in mind in the inevitable right-wing chatter about how Obama isn’t “really” the President.

Quickie Inaugural Post #2

After the actual swearing-in ceremony, we left the Mall area for distant Red Line points in search of warmth and food. En route to the bar, we discovered the reason for the occasionally empty bleachers we later saw on the bar TV: DC crowd management was pretty broken, and apparently had last minute changes not documented in any of the publicly available info source.

Consequently, it would not surprise us to learn that some of those bleachers had become inaccessible islands, with their ticket-holders trapped elsewhere with no way to reach their seats. We have several friends who couldn’t get in (we did, though) despite having tickets owing to the enormous crowds and perhaps questionable crowd-routing choices. Granted, there’s not a lot of precedent for 1-2MM extra people in a town this size, but it was still frustrating.

Joe the Plumber: Still an idiot

He says the media shouldn’t be allowed to do reporting on wars. And PJTV is paying him to do exactly that.

I’ll be honest with you. I don’t think journalists should be anywhere allowed war. I mean, you guys report where our troops are at. You report what’s happening day to day. You make a big deal out of it. I think it’s asinine. You know, I liked back in World War I and World War II when you’d go to the theater and you’d see your troops on, you know, the screen and everyone would be real excited and happy for’em. Now everyone’s got an opinion and wants to downer–and down soldiers. You know, American soldiers or Israeli soldiers.

I think media should be abolished from, uh, you know, reporting. You know, war is hell. And if you’re gonna sit there and say, “Well look at this atrocity,” well you don’t know the whole story behind it half the time, so I think the media should have no business in it.

Buh-bye, Bush

The Economist on Bush includes some fantastic lines, including this:

Relentless partisanship led to the politicisation of almost everything Mr Bush did. He used his first televised address to justify putting strict limits on federal funding for stem-cell research, and used the first veto of his presidency to prevent the expansion of that funding. He appointed two “strict constructionist” judges to the Supreme Court, John Roberts and Samuel Alito, turned his back on the Kyoto protocol, dismissed several international treaties, particularly the anti-ballistic-missile treaty, loosened regulations on firearms and campaigned against gay marriage. His energy policy was written by Mr Cheney with the help of a handful of cronies from the energy industry. His lacklustre attorney-general Alberto Gonzales, who was forced to resign in disgrace, was only the most visible of an army of over-promoted, ideologically vetted homunculi.

Stupid Weather Tricks

We’re perfect happy for this guy to do these FOR us so that we can watch from the safety and warmth of Houston, but we’re still glad someone’s doing silly things in absurdly low temperature weather (in this case, -14).

Even better

Apparently, it “aggravated” Cheney that the NYT won a Pulitzer for its coverage of the illegal, warrantless wiretapping his administration pursued.

What a malignant weasel. Once again, Dick, don’t let the door hit you on the ass on your way out. I have little hope he’ll ever be tried for his crimes, but it IS nice to consider how many nations are essentially closed to him — i.e., that he’ll have to avoid to keep from being arrested.

It’s that time again

The Buffalo Beast’s 50 Most Loathesome People of 2008 is out. Some highlights:

Antonin Scalia:

it was Scalia’s asinine, compartmentalized semantic parsing on torture that we hoped would give pause to his lionizers. Arguing that torture isn’t “cruel and unusual punishment” because the subject hasn’t been convicted of a crime, so he can’t be “punished,” the so-called Constitutional Originalist puts the framers in the awkward position of saying that it’s wrong to beat up a convicted criminal, but it’s just dandy to kick the shit out of him before he is even charged.

Exhibit A: “Mere factual innocence is no reason not to carry out a death sentence properly reached.”

On Frank “worst impressionist ever” Caliendo:

The retarded man’s Rich Little … His TBS vehicle, “Frank TV,” is the least amusing thing to appear on television since the morning of September 11, 2001.

Sarah Palin:

In the end, Palin had the beneficial effect of splitting her party between her admirers and people who can read.

Rush Limbaugh:

The father of modern stupidity, Limbaugh spins reflexively, never struggling with issues, because he knows his conclusion must favor Republicans, and his only task is finding a way to get there.

Joe Lieberman:

After promising that he was “not going to go to the Republican convention, and spend my time attacking Barack Obama,” Lieberman went to the Republican convention and attacked Barack Obama. But that was just the beginning of his descent into a self-dug hole of betrayal that should have proved inescapable. Lieberman thought it was a good question to ask if Obama was a Marxist. He campaigned not just with McCain, but with Palin and down-ticket Republicans, another thing he said he wouldn’t do. But the most loathsome trait Lieberman exhibits is that most loathsome of all: Smearing dissent as treasonous. The kind of suppressive asshole who would accuse you of helping terrorists by beating him at checkers should not be Chairman of the Committee on Homeland Security, and is not someone worth rewarding for his own dissent.

Rick Warren:

Dubbed “America’s Pastor” by The Nation, he’s duped people from both sides of the political spectrum into thinking he’s the kinder, fatter version of James Dobson. […] Exhibit A: “God tells us that he created all the land animals on the sixth day of creation, the same day that he created mankind. Man and dinosaurs lived at the same time.” Can you feel the wisdom?

Peggy Noonan:

A Catholic hysteric who should be submitting poems about her kitty cats to online poetry-contest scams, Noonan’s call for “Patriotic Grace,” which is nothing more than a call for liberals to stop picking on Republicans for being wrong all the time, comes a little late, after actively helping the most despicable, character assassination-driven campaigns of her lifetime.

The site’s hammered; you may want to wait a day or so before trying to load it. But don’t miss it; they suggest Cheney be eaten alive by baboons, which is really hard to argue with on any level.