By now it’s old news, but we’ve been meaning to put this up for days. Salon’s coverage of the “must sign loyalty pledge to see George” story is pretty spot-on. I mean, What. The. Fuck? Are they just allergic to, you know, the democratic process? Are they afraid he’ll self-destruct if he gets asked hard questions? And can’t they get a fer-crying-out-loud copyeditor? Sheesh.
The headline alone should freak you out
“U.S. Uses Secret Evidence In Secrecy Fight With ACLU.” Excerpt:
The Justice Department is using secret evidence in its ongoing legal battles over secrecy with the American Civil Liberties Union, submitting material to two federal judges that cannot be seen by the public or even the plaintiffs, according to documents released yesterday. In one of the cases, the government also censored more than a dozen seemingly innocuous passages from court filings on national security grounds, only to be overruled by the judge, according to ACLU documents. Among the phrases originally redacted by the government was a quotation from a 1972 Supreme Court ruling: “The danger to political dissent is acute where the Government attempts to act under so vague a concept as the power to protect ‘domestic security.’ Given the difficulty of defining the domestic security interest, the danger of abuse in acting to protect that interest becomes apparent.”
Read that last graf again, just for emphasis. Secrecy is not democratic. This is why sunshine laws exist. Our government — or at least this Justice Department — appears to hate the idea that it is ultimately accountable to you and me.
Because everything is on the net
Somewhere, there’s someone for whom this represents the apotheosis of erotic photography.
(NSFW)
Atrios Nails It
As much as the White House has tried to spin it otherwise, there’s a large difference between pro-Kerry/anti-Bush ads financed by organizations like MoveOn and the anti-Kerry ads produced by the Swifties. Atrios has more, but the gist is this:
- SBVfT is an organization that exists only to slam Kerry with demonstrably untrue allegations from people who did not in fact serve with him in Vietnam, whereas
- MoveOn has existed for a while now, and has yet to run any ad that’s simply and objectively false.
On a related note, this Boston Glob editorial wonders how it might have played out had Clinton attacked Bob Dole’s record in 1996.
The idea’s great, but we’re holding out for a trebuchet
Thusly equipped, the only thing they need now is a way to get into the tree stand.
In which we confound those who stereotype us
Much has been made lately of the soon-to-expire Asault Weapons Ban. Antigun people love this law, and want it extended/renewed; for the most part, people who’ve actually read the law laugh out loud at how ridiculous it it. The big, ugly secret is that “assault weapon” is a meaningless term that has nothing to do with the actual functions of a given rifle; the weapons banned by the AWB are weapons that fail cosmetic, not functional, tests. (Remember that fully-automatic weapons are already illegal, and that semiauto guns must not be easily convertable to full-auto, so the AWB has nothing to do with rate of fire.)
It’s just plain a bad law. People who oppose gun regulation already hate it, but people who support gun control laws ought to hate it, too. For illustration, see if you can tell the illegal ones from the legal ones.
“First, do no harm.”
Convincing evidence and allegations have surfaced implicating U.S. military medical personnel in the abuse at Abu Graib. So much for that pesky oath. BoingBoing has coverage.
In which we track down bizarre bugs
One thing that separates real web people from halfasses (and no-asses) is the sheer quality of the code, and its adherence to <a href=””http://w3c.org”>standards. For a variety of reasons, “well, it works” isn’t a very good barometer of whether or not a particular page’s code is correct; some browsers helpfully adjust errors in HTML to produce what they think you meant, for example, which is great for that particular browser, but not so good for the developer, as it gives him or her a false sense of accuracy. Most modern browsers are more meticulous, so this happens less often now, but it’s still an issue.
The only way to make sure you’re doing right, then, is to (a) test in as many browsers you can find and (b) use a validator to ensure syntactic and semantic accuracy in your code. Many, many problems go away if your code validates; in fact, today’s lesson is how important it is to validate even if you think you’re already valid.
Be advised that while we all, I’m sure, are very, very careful about validating our HTML, it is equally important to validate our CSS as well. I spent an hour or so today trying to figure out why my formerly functional, carefully validated layout worked fine in Mozilla, Firefox, and IE, but failed utterly in Safari — frankly, a situation I’ve never seen before.
Only after remembering to validate my CSS did I discover the problem:
This rule had a typo in it:
div#left h2 { color: black; padding-bottom: 0; margin-bottom: 5px; text-align: left;> }
The trailing > in the final attribute crept in without my knowledge, doubtless on an inadvertent keystroke. IE and Gecko browsers appear to have been ignoring it as garbage; at the very least, it caused no trouble for me there. In Safari, however, the entire layout was hopelessly broken with all three columns rendering on top of each other, etc — a pretty awful sight, and very discouraging.
Up to now, I’ve not had this particular experience — ie, everyone but Safari working fine. When I code to a compliant browser, I usually find that only minor changes are required to get an optimum presentation in all modern browsers, so this little problem took me completely by surprise.
Once again: validate, validate, validate. Then validate again. The time you save may be your own.
More on the Gluten-Free Host
Fafblog scores again:
“Giblets is not concerned with the heartless exclusionary legalism of the Catholic hierarchy!” says Giblets. “Giblets is concerned because it clearly states that only unleavened wheat can turn into parts of Jesus! We have been workin with leavened flour!” “But we have to Giblets,” I says pointin at the nicely molded Jesus dough. “Otherwise our Jesus Bread-Golem will not rise when we bake him.”
Mmmmmm, monkeys
Jill Greenberg has done some lovely monkey portraits.
Shiman’s at it again
No word yet on the “Rock and Roll” part
From the AP, we learn that for teens, sex and drugs frequently go together.
Clearly, more research is needed.
We’re SO SURE this was a “clerical error”
It’s no secret what we Heathen think of the bizarre, Kafka-esque “no-fly list” created in the wake of 9/11; it’s a system and notion positively brimming with opportunities for abuse, and one that seems utterly allergic to transparency.
Now the troubles have extended to Senators, so perhaps something will be done.
Clerical error puts Kennedy on “no fly” list CAPITOL HILL The Senate Judiciary Committee has heard this morning from one of its own about some of the problems with airline “no fly” watch lists. Massachusetts Democrat Ted Kennedy says he had a close encounter with the lists when trying to take the U-S Airways shuttle out of Washington to Boston. The ticket agent wouldnt let him on the plane. His name was on the list — in error. After a flurry of phone calls, Kennedy was able to fly home, but then the same thing happened coming back to Washington. Kennedy says it took three calls to Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge to get his name stricken from the list. The process took several weeks, in all. And Kennedy asks — what about the little guy? AP
Note: we don’t want to hear it if your comment includes any reference to Florida date-rape trials or auto accidents. Let it go, or post about it with the Freepers. <?p>
The only Mastercard parody you’ll see here
- Hummer H2: $50,000
- Custom plates: $300
- Absurd gas mileage: $400
- Pictures of your Hummer stuck on a stump being rescued by a 20-year-old Jeep: priceless
Dept. of Encouraging Stats
Kos points out that while both candidates were in Portland last week, their events were rather different in character.
Whoa.
Falling Water, done in Lego.
Why big companies eventually suck
Case in point: AT & T’s guidelines for “Sweeping, General”. (Via Limon)
Because not enough people knew he was a nutbird already
Alan Keyes wants to end the direct election of Senators on the grounds that it somehow erodes the sovereign role of the states. Presumably, this means he thinks “states” are made up of something other than “voters.”
Dept. of “Gaaaaaaa!”
Some rock-throwing LA kids inadvertantly angered 120,000 bees from a colony large enough that it had compromised the structural integrity of the building housing it.
If you’ll excuse us, we have to go have an enormous attack of the heebie jeebies now. And also pay the Terminex bill.
In which a Catholic diocese experiments with interesting new forms of child abuse
A New Jersey girl has had her first communion declared invalid because the wafer in question was gluten-free; said girl has celiac sprue disease and cannot therefore consume wheat-based products.
Way to distract from that ugly sex abuse scandal, Trenton Diocese!
Hurricane Postscript
So we’re fine, and the wedding is on, and will take place at the original location. On the other hand, Charlotte Country — south of Sarasota — is a disaster area, and lacks basic things like operational hospitals; additionally, hundreds of thousands of folks evacuated the lower areas of Sarasota and Tampa only to find themselves directly in the path of the storm, albeit a reduced, inland version.
But as for us and ours, we’re fine.
Hurricane Update
It’s now raining. Poorly dressed local weathermen breathlessly suggest the possibility that Charley may make the jump to storm manhood and claim Category 5 before landfall. Fortunately, it appears to have turned inland a bit to the south, thereby saving, among other things, Tampa Bay.
In other news, we’ve watched bad USA television, half of the Terminator, and something that involved Bob Newhart doing charades on stage with a monkey. Beer and rum supplies are holding up well, and we’ve discovered the couch can actually fold out into a bed.
So, all in all, things are looking up.
And this is good why?
The California Supremes have summarily declared all of San Francisco’s same-sex marriages null and void.
What you should know about copyright expiration
The British equivalent of the RIAA is having a fit, largely because copyright law is working as intended — meaning Elvis’ “That’s All Right” is about to pass into the public domain (in January, 2005) after a reasonable period of exclusive copyright (fifty years). They’d like very much for this not to happen, just as Disney has managed to keep Mickey locked up with well-timed copyright extensions for years. Read this for more about why this is bad.
What we knew, and when we knew it
Robert X. Cringley has some interesting things to say about a study the Department of Justice had done regarding sentencing guidelines, and what effect they have on crime. The study found that longer sentences actually increase crime, though, so the DOJ buried it, and never mind the consequences, because it’s more important, I suppose, to lock people up than to work for a healthier society.
I hate people.
Fun in the Sun Report
So, right now, it’s clear that 49 of the 50 states in our fair country are completely legitimate places to be, to drink, to watch people get married, etc.
We, of course, are in Florida. In Sarasota, actually. Theoretically, there’s a big wedding tomorrow, but Charley may have other plans. We’re waiting for the storm in a borrowed condo; we’ve got food, ice, towels, wireless Internet access, plus important shit like rum and beer. And, as I said, the plan is for there to be a wedding tomorrow, but the original location is now closed in will likely remain so given its location on the bay.
Thank you for flying Surreal Air. Make sure you check the lav for peepholes.
My friend Mike went to take a contract job in DC today. The flight was interesting.
Them Republicans just cain’t seem to keep their yaps shut
Or something. As you must be aware by now, over the weekend it looks like they burned another covert operative by being either careless or incompetant (it doesn’t look like there’s a revenge angle on this one). Bill Clinton made a great point (on Letterman last week) about the difficulties of gathering human intelligence in the Arab world when you’ve spend the previous 50 years trying to perfect the art of blending in behind the Iron Curtain, but surely we can do better than this.
On the other hand, perhaps this could be the problem.
In which we look into Dick Shelby’s past legislative obsessions
Had Sen. Shelby had his way during the Clinton years, he’d now be looking at a felony charge and jail time.
Sure, they’ve got torture, no free press, and the death penalty, but that’s liberation for you
Fafblog on recent Iraqi events, including the bizarre tail of an Oregon National Guard unit who found some Iraqi prisoners being “freedom tickled” by their newly-sovereign captors, intervened, and were told by their commander to “return the prisoners to their abusers and immediately withdraw.”
This, children, is how we spread freedom and democracy.
Why it’s good that we’re short of disposable income just now
Because we’d do shit like this.
Click. Just click. Turn your speakers on and click, for the love of all that’s holy.
Because, heretofore, posts about hirsute hookers on this board have been sorely lacking
According to a predictable source, Beasley, Canada now boasts the world’s first bigfoot hooker:
Fascinated by her incredible erotic powers, men are drawn to her like flies to honey. “Helen is over seven feet tall and covered with soft fur,” says frequent patron Jacques Barbette.
Well, North Korea may have missles and nukes, but at least the don’t have subs
Or, they didn’t until recently. GOP backer, Washington Times owner, and cult leader Sun Yung Moon has sold his ex-soviet submarines to Kim Jong-Il. Freaking out yet?
This just in: TNR’s Easterbrook is an ignorant gasbag
Brad DeLong takes Easterbrook to task for a particularly stupid editorial from The New Republic about how physics is “mumbo jumbo” on account of it not making any sense to him. Easterbrook also makes it abundantly clear that he knows little and understands less about the nature of light, electromagnetism, and gravity.
You know, when this sort of thing is easy to research — I mean, it’s not like Google’s hard to use, and there’s an awful lot of printed material on the subject geared toward a lay audience. Ignorance is one thing; remaining so out of spite or some sort of suspician of “booklearnin'” is yet another.
Abu Graib Gets Worse
We have not yet heard the worst of this story.
In January of this year, U.S. Army Maj. Gen. Anthony Taguba was ordered to investigate the actions of the military police at Abu Ghraib. The 53-page executive summary of his findings caused a sensation when it was leaked in April. The full report — 106 “annexes” composed of internal Army memos and e-mails, as well as sworn statements made by soldiers and detainees to the Army’s CID (Criminal Investigation Division) — shows the prison under siege and out of control. In violation of Army policy, Abu Ghraib was located in a war zone, where detainees and U.S. soldiers alike were under daily assault by mortars, rocket-propelled grenades and small-arms fire. Prisoners were regularly beaten, sodomized with broomsticks and police batons, terrorized by military attack dogs, and subjected to psychological torture, including at least one mock electrocution. Salon
Delayed Friday Distraction
Can you Shoot the Internet Cliche? Don’t hit the kittens!
Unfuckingbelievable
I’ve been sitting on this link for days trying to find a way to explain it without going apoplectic, but I’m not sure there is one. Fafblog handles some commentary in their own inimitable way, of course, but I’d really love for someone to explain how this administration can appose the proliferation of WMDs so vehemently — hey, we went to WAR on the SUSPICIAN that Saddam had ’em — and yet also oppose the use of weapons inspectors, insisting verificationw as too expensive, too intrustive, and couldn’t guarantee compliance:
Administration officials declined to explain in detail how they believed U.S. security would be harmed by creating a plan to monitor the treaty. Arms-control specialists reacted negatively, saying the change in U.S. position will dramatically weaken any treaty and make it harder to prevent nuclear materials from falling into the hands of terrorists. Seattle Times
At least this isn’t in Mississippi
An unabashed, proud racist will be running for Congress in Tennessee this fall as a Republican, since he won the primary.
“I’m Rick James, Bitch!”
Rick “Superfreak” James, icon of funk, dead at 56. Once famous for his music, in recent years he’s been more famous for (a) serving time for assault and (b) being memorably lampooned by Dave Chappelle, who may play James in a biopic next year.
We just plain can’t get enough
From Fafblog, we present the Legend of Benjamin Healy. A sample:
“They say no mortal woman was enough for him so he made one himself outta whiskey an liquors an ale,” says me. “An he loved her like a lumberjack made of eating loves a woman made of ham.”
Best. Blog. Evar.
We have a winner!
The Illinois GOP have selected Alan Keyes as their whipping boy, er, candidate to run against Barack Obama. As noted yesterday, Keyes does not now, nor has he ever, lived in Illinois; we don’t have a problem with this ourselves, but some people do:
I deeply resent the destruction of federalism represented by Hillary Clinton’s willingness to go into a state she doesn’t even live in and pretend to represent people there. So I certainly wouldn’t imitate it.
Know who said that? Yup: ALAN KEYES (Fox News, March 17, 2000; Chicago Trib story cites this here, use ih8logins/ih8logins to access). This should be fun to watch, in a taunting-the-afflicted sort of way. Josh Marshall has a fun post on the subject today as well. I’m still at a loss to figure out what, exactly, the Illinois GOP think they’re going to accomplish.
Veterans for Truth, or Veterans for the GOP. (Pick one.)
The GOP is going all-out with their “Swift Boat Veterans for Truth” group whose central message is that Kerry somehow fudged his service record and, by inference, those troublesome decorations. Trouble is, none of these guys actually served WITH Kerry (NYT link sure to rot). In a cite sure to irritate Edgar, MediaMatters has actual citations of their somewhat troublesome relationship with the truth. Joe Conason in Salon has more on the subject from a May editorial.
On the other hand, the men who stood with Kerry at the convention represented 9 of the 10 surviving members of his two boats, a fact noted in the Wall Street Journal, of all places (here, but paid subscription required).
The really bizarre point here is, however, that the GOP is working to say Kerry’s war record isn’t all that, when you’d think they’d be avoiding this issue like the plague, given Dubya’s “service” in Alabama.
Dept. of Birthdays
Today, August 5, is Chief NoGators/Heathen Legal Correspondent Triple-F’s birthday. We can’t tell you how old he is, but we CAN say it rhymes with “schwenty-nine”. (File foto)
Happy birthday, buddy. Have fun in Prague.
In which we discuss Republican game shows
This year’s seen the debut of perhaps the funniest reality show yet, something we here at Heathen are calling “Who Wants To Be Obama’s Bitch,” but which the GOP calls “find a candidate to replace Jack Ryan who didn’t try to fuck anyone in public.”
They’re down to two candidates, having gotten “no” from such political luminaries as Mike Ditka. Bachelor number one is Alan Keyes, who’s never actually, you know, lived in Illinois (be not vexed; he can move there by election day and everything’s kosher); bachelor number two is Andrea Barthwell, who has a few interesting items on her resume.
During her brief stint at the drug czar’s office one of her most noteworthy accomplishments seems to have been getting written up in a “hostile workplace memorandum” for “lewd and abusive behavior.” Talking Points Memo
The winner of this little contest gets to spend acres of cash to try and catch Democratic wunderkind and apparent real-deal Barack Obama, who has $10MM in the bank and was leading pretty-boy candidate Jack Ryan by a substantial margin before Ryan withdrew under RNC pressure. I suppose it would be too straightforward for them simply to cede the seat, but does anyone really think Obama can be beaten in November?
Don’t be a Dick.
Federal investigators have identified Alabama Sen. Richard Shelby as the source of a leak of classified information — that showed up on CNN. Way to go, Dick!
We’re sure this will get just as much play as the Berger story, natch.
This would be huge news if Cheney were a Democrat
Check out Billmon’s summary of the Halliburton investigation, and then try to convince yourself Cheney isn’t in it up to his beady little eyeballs.
(Josh Marshall has more.)
How to look even more like an idiot, by K. Harris
- Insist that, though you can’t be specific because it’s, you know, all secret and all, the Bush administration has prevented more than a hundred attacks against the US since 9/11.
- Get all cagey when officials in DC — and in one of the states you say has been protected — express dismay at your bizarre pronouncements.
- Finally, when called on it from all sides “express regret” without actually withdrawing anything.
Way to go, Harris! Now, if you could just master makeup in such a way that you no longer resembled a cross between a demented clown, Tammy Fay, and a hooker, well, you’d be on to something.
Steve Buscemi at the DNC
In which we receive fan mail
No, really:
So, I was working on putting out my own CD and I had decided that it would be called Miscellaneous Heathen based on a picture my wife took of some religious wacko’s protest sign. [Ed: he means this guy, captured in this foto by Tom Tomorrow.] I decided that it might be a good idea to register MiscellaneousHeathen.com or MiscHeathen.com, so I looked them up and found to my dismay that someone had beat me to it. I hated you for having the temerity to think of it way before me. But then I checked out your website and all that hate floated away… and I could hear only birds singing… and see nothing but hearts and teddy bears and, of course, unicorns flying over brightly lit rainbows. In other words, I love your site or blog or whatever you call it. Because of you I have now seen the Shining in 30 Seconds (and performed by Bunnies). And I have found great sources of ACTUAL NEWS. Unbelievable. O.K. — lovefest over. Don’t worry, I won’t send Catherine Zeta Jones threatening letters because of you or anything. Sincerely,
John Hoskinson
www.JohnHoskinson.com
Granted, it’s only fanmail because he wanted the domain at first, but he does give us much grist for the slogan mill, like “Heathen: Unicorns flying over brightly lit rainbows” and such.
It was with some trepidation that we checked out Mr. Hoskinson’s audio samples, but we’re awful glad we did. We like the sound of his record, and we particularly enjoy the name he’s given it. All Hail the Heathen Brotherhood!