New Frontiers in Stupid Ideas

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Over at TechDirt, we find information about an idea from ABC to combat DVRs by providing the bulk of their programming via video-on-demand, with embedded commercials and no ability to fast-forward.

Read that again. We’re not kidding. The quote:

Anne Sweeney, the president of the Disney-ABC television group, claims: “You don’t need TiVo if you have fast-forward-disabled video on demand. It gives you the same opportunity to catch up to your favorite shows.”

It gets better:

Then there’s Ray Cole, who owns some ABC affiliates. He says: “As network and affiliates, we both have an interest in slowing down the explosive growth of DVRs. This is about combating DVRs. As we developed this at every stage, there was an agreement that however we put this together, disabling the fast-forward function was key.” I’m curious as to how Mr. Cole thinks offering a product that does much less and deliberately takes away a key feature will “slow down” the “explosive growth of DVRs.” You don’t compete by offering a worse product. You compete by offering a better product. Taking away one of the key selling points of a product is not exactly a major selling point.

We own Tivo at our house in no small part BECAUSE we can skip commercials easily. Why on earth would we pay money for a device that does less? Clearly, the quality of the dope at ABC is stellar.

What “due process” means to the Bushites

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Via Atrios, from The Nation:

When asked if he thought the men at Guantánamo could receive a fair trial, Davis provided the following account of an August 2005 meeting he had with Pentagon general counsel William Haynes–the man who now oversees the tribunal process for the Defense Department. “[Haynes] said these trials will be the Nuremberg of our time,” recalled Davis, referring to the Nazi tribunals in 1945, considered the model of procedural rights in the prosecution of war crimes. In response, Davis said he noted that at Nuremberg there had been some acquittals, something that had lent great credibility to the proceedings.

“I said to him that if we come up short and there are some acquittals in our cases, it will at least validate the process,” Davis continued. “At which point, [Haynes’s] eyes got wide and he said, ‘Wait a minute, we can’t have acquittals. If we’ve been holding these guys for so long, how can we explain letting them get off? We can’t have acquittals, we’ve got to have convictions.‘”

Chickpea and Sausage Stew: We keep trying, and they keep being lame

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Let me preface this with our current position on the source: Real Simple‘s aversion to spice is so profound as to make Food & Wine look like an Emeril disciple. It’s a problem nearly universal in cooking mags, or some reason, presumably so they don’t offend the delicate and unchallenged palettes of the midwest or wherever. Down here in Texas, we like flavor in our food, and react accordingly.

Anyway, the text, which we prepared as-written the first time around:

scan

From Real Simple, 2/2008, p 169:

  • 1 tbsp olive oil
  • 1 large onion, chopped
  • 12 oz Italian sausage, thawed, casings removed
  • 1 tbsp tomato paste
  • 1/2 c parsley, roughly chopped
  • 1/4 c cilantro, roughly chopped
  • 2 c low sodium chicken or veggie broth
  • 2 15-oz cans of chickpeas, drained and rinsed
  • 1 10-oz package frozen leaf spinach
  • Salt and pepper
  • Rustic bread

Serves 4.

Heat the oil in a large saucepan or Dutch oven over medium heat. Add the onion and cook, stirring occasionally, until soft, 5-7 minutes. Add the sausage and cook, crumbling it with a wooden spoon, until browned, about 8 minutes. Add the tomato paste and cook, stirring, for 2 minutes. Stir in the parsley and cilantro and cook for 1 minute more. ADd the broth and chickpeas and bring to a boil. Add the frozen spinach and simmer, partially covered, for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally with a fork to separate the leaves. Stir in 1/2 teaspoon salt and 1/4 teaspoon pepper. Divide the toasted bread, if using, among individual bowls and spoon the stew on top.

We used veggie broth, which may have cut the flavor a bit, but in general the formula is lacking in panache. The resulting stew was hearty but bland (again, as nearly everything from RS is). We’ll make it again, but only with a bit more adjustments. It could profit from more onion, some garlic, twice the measure of tomato paste, and perhaps a smattering of cayenne — to start.

  • Ease: 4/5 — little prep and a short cook cycle make it a good choice when time is a factor
  • Mess: 5/5 — it’s a one-pot wonder
  • Flavor: as published, 2/5, but it’s got potential thanks to the simple ingredients to go much farther.

New Category!

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I’m inaugerating a new category here at Heathen in order to share and document kitchen stunts for later perusal. Enjoy. First substantive entry follows…

Things that would be funny if they weren’t so sad

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Companies Baffled by iPhone’s Success:

One direction, advocated by Lucia Predolin… is to manipulate users by identifying their “need states” — including such compulsions as ‘killing time,’ and ‘making the most of it’ — and fulfilling them subliminally.”

How about this: make a product that doesn’t suck, and that aggressively creates a better user experience than what was previously available. Profit. I particularly like that they’re confused why all the good mojo is accruing to Apple and not AT&T. Could it be that it’s because nobody is confused about who actually made the iPhone?

Happy Valentine’s Day: The continuing legacy of Lawrence v. Texas

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The Fifth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals has ruled unconstitutional a Texas statute banning the sale or promotion of sex toys.

Regular Heathen will recall that a Mississippi TV station tried to stir up a controversy over a similar law there not terribly long ago; as Mississippi is part of the 5th circuit, it seems unlikely said law will be enforced anymore. That leaves Alabama (in the 11th circuit) alone in its ongoing prohibition of such devices.

Harry Reid Can Eat My Shorts

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The Senate has capitulated on retroactive telecom immunity. Of our three Senatorial candidates:

  • McCain voted for immunity;
  • Obama opposed it; and
  • Clinton did not bother to vote.

If your Senator is a Republican (all of whom voted for immunity), or a crossover Democrat (list in link), call them and let them know what douchebags you think they are. For what it’s worth, the House version of the bill still lacks this provision, so there’s some hope left.

More via BoingBoing.

Just so you know

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Bush continues to enjoy an Imperial presidency, untroubled by the rule of law:

*No, the Justice Department will not be investigating whether the now-admitted-to waterboarding of US prisoners was against the law.

*And, no, the DoJ will not be investigating whether the Bush Administration’s warrantless surveillance was illegal. Nor will the AG appoint a special prosecutor to investigate.

  • And, no, the Department of Justice will not enforce any contempt citations that Congress might bring against administration officials that have failed to honor subpoenas for testimony.

What AG Mukasey is claiming–and what he is establishing unless Congress does something quickly to contradict him–is that there is effectively only one branch of government, and that is the Executive Branch. The AG’s statements do not allow for congressional oversight, and they do not allow for judicial oversight. It does not even allow for the rule of law, since the law is whatever the President instructs his Office of Legal Counsel and Attorney General to say it is. How can we know what he instructed? We can’t–that’s a state secret or subject to executive privilege. What if a member of Congress, or a judge, or any US citizen has a problem with that? Tough luck–you have no effective recourse beyond the whims or benevolence of the President/Emperor.

This doesn’t just trample on the United States Constitution–it abrogates the Magna Carta.

More at TPM.

Ha!

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From here, we find perhaps the only bluster-free, 100% accurate advice ever issued by PC and technology pundit John C. Dvorak:

I called John C. Dvorak, a prominent columnist for PC Magazine and a podcaster on the Podshow network. “I advise everybody to buy a Macintosh because Apple products are the easiest to use,” he said. “If you own a PC, you have to find a local nerd, a kid, maybe a relative. Every family has one unless they’ve just moved here from a foreign country. That’s the only solution.”

Go and do likewise.

Ah, Microsoft

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MS is deliberately preventing the new version of its Hotmail property from working on Linux.

Firefox 2 works on Windows, OSX and the Mac. Firefox 2 on Linux is blocked — but gets through just fine as soon as you adjust the user agent.

Nice. I imagine we can expect similar fuckery with Yahoo, Flickr, etc., should their buyout attempt succeed.

The Onion RULES.

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Their Super Bowl coverage sums it up:

As the once-invincible, still-insufferable Patriots attempt to come to grips with their 17-14 Super Bowl loss to the Giants, the death of their dream to go undefeated, and the possible end of their dynasty, almost every other person in America is reveling in what they consider the perfect ending to New England’s season.

Geek Nostalgia

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Mark Pilgrim has his version of the perennial “Incoming Freshmen’s Worldview” list up, but focussed mostly on computing. Some picks:

An “Apple computer” has always meant a “Macintosh computer.”

Apple computers have always had USB ports and never had floppy drives.

Windows has always supported long filenames and pre-emptive multitasking.

Vladimir who?

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Oops.

LONDON (Reuters) – A chain of retail stores in Britain has withdrawn the sale of beds named Lolita and designed for six-year-old girls after furious parents pointed out that the name was synonymous with sexually active pre-teens.

Suck it, Tom

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How’s 18-1 taste?

Heathen Central would like to point out our favorite NFL name, Plaxico Burress, bagged the go-ahead TD for New York. We also, of course, enjoy the back-to-back Manning wins, as the Heathen Homeland is also the Manning Homeland.

BTW, how cheesy is it that Belichick left the field before the game was over? He’s a fucking class act, that one. Eat it, Bill.

NFL, copyright, and douchebaggery

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It’s no surprise that the NFL, like any large corporation, seeks to abuse its copyrights willy-nilly to prevent anyone from doing anything that might have anything to do with their business. Hell, we’re talking about a group that sued churches last year for having Super Bowl parties with TVs larger than 55″. Seriously. The linked article details more of their absurd chicanery; we urge you to avoid their sponsors whenever possible on the grounds that apparently the whole organization is run by fuckwits.

However, there is a funny part to this, hinging on some serious New England hubris:

This year, the big news … is that the New England Patriots have applied for a trademark on “19-0” to represent the undefeated season the team will have if it wins this season. The NY Post, snarky as ever, filed for a trademark on 18-1 in response, supporting the home town NY Giants.

Awesome.

WLBT: Doing Its Part To Remind Everyone How Silly Mississippi Can Be

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Some sad-sack ratings-seeking “consumer” reporter at the Jackson TV station (“Kandiss Crone,” who appears to be trying to live up to her surname) has done a hard-hitting expose on the fact that an adult bookstore was selling illegal sex toys. Madcap hilarity ensues, probably because it’s hard for anyone who’s not a TV news douchebag (or raving nutbird fundie) to supply even fake outrage over violations of such a ridiculous prohibition. Really, Kandiss? This is the best you can do?

Perhaps our favorite part is this quote from Jackson Vice, supplied when Crone went to JPD for comment: “The adult store is not a priority for our vice and narcotics officers. We will do the best we can. Citizens would rather see us using our resources to get drugs and prostitutes off our streets and work to decrease violent crime.”

Believe it or not, it’s therefore the State the comes off (marginally) better here. The “news” dorks, however, remain worthless wastes of oxygen.

(Via BB.)

(Sidenote: the anchor in the first part of the story, one Howard Ballou, was the m.c. a couple years back for the JDRF gala we attend. When introduced (“Heathen, this is Howard Ballou, he’s our MC tonight” was all I got), I had no idea who he was. I shook his hand and made with the cocktail chat, which — much to my brother’s amusement — included me asking about his line of work. If you ever want to have fun with these pseudocelebs, apparently one of the best ways to make them nearly spit-take is to be unaware of their identity.)

Hardcore Geek Eyes Only

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This longish discussion of retcons in comics is quite a read.

A retcon, for those of you too lazy to follow the link, is a device used in long-form narratives to RETroactively change the CONtinuity of the story. Because comics are among the longest narratives we have, it comes up a lot in that world.

For nongeeks, perhaps the most widely known retcon came at the end of Dallas‘s 1985-86 season, when Pam found Bobby in the shower — which rendered the entire season a terrible, terrible dream. A more drastic retcon just happened to James Bond, as Casino Royale is the story of an operative only just promoted to 00-status; for Daniel Craig’s Bond, there has been no SMERSH or SPECTRE, no Cold War, no undersea madmen, no Goldfinger, no marriage to Diana Rigg, and, sadly, no Octopussy. (Bond’s retcon is a drastic enough example to warrant being called a reboot, but that’s just a special type of retcon.) Comic retcons are typically (but not always) less ham-handed, but it’s this sort of shift.

Comics, unlike soaps, are faced with an undeniable need for retcons, precisely because they’re long-running but also, at least to a point, at least somewhat frozen in amber [1]. If they didn’t keep shifting or handwaving about some aspects of Superman’s backstory, for example, we’d be dealing with a decidedly geriatric Man of Steel; at his introduction in 1938, he was supposedly in his late 20s, which puts his birth at about 1910[2]. I’m pretty sure the current comic incarnation isn’t supposed to be 98 years old. Even Spiderman would be at least middle aged if his story moved in real time; he was a student in 1962.

To add to the complexity, comic publishers are forever having crossover events where Batman and Superman team up to fight Evil Dude X, which means their continuities are blended; a retcon for one will necessarily affect the other. In the persistent world of the DC (or Marvel) universe, this gets very complicated very quickly.

Anyway, that’s a retcon. Check out the first link for discussions of them done well (Frank Miller’s work on Daredevil; they actually skip my favorite) and badly (pretty much the last 20 years of the Legion of Super Heros), all through the lens of the gawdawful bullshit they’re pulling with Spiderman these days. (There’s a literal deal with the Devil that undoes pretty much the last 2 or 3 decades. I shit you not.).

(Via Wil.)

Notes:

1. An amusing example of retconning is ongoing with the Simpsons, who have taken being frozen in time very seriously. The show’s nearly twenty, so flashbacks to teen/early 20s time periods for Marge and Homer have ratcheted from the 70s through the 80s and into the 90s.

2. The cinematic Supes has also been retconned, and recently: Superman Returns is itself a bit of a retcon in that it branches off the film continuity after Superman II, and renders moot all subsequent Reeve films.)

In which limits are explored, exceeded, and documented

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The following is a list of the electrical items which can be used without incident simultaneously in my office:

  • MacBook Pro
  • Two external monitors
  • Two tower PCs
  • Shredder
  • Stereo
  • Two active outboard hard drives
  • One router
  • Two switches
  • One laser printer
  • Two overhead lights
  • Two cordless phones
  • One Vonage network adapter
  • One space heater

The following is a list of the electrical items which, when used simultaneously, will cause a breaker to flip:

  • One MacBook Pro
  • Two external monitors
  • Two tower PCs
  • One Shredder
  • One Stereo
  • Two active outboard hard drives
  • One router
  • Two switches
  • One laser printer
  • Two overhead lights
  • One space heater
  • Two cordless phones
  • One Vonage network adapter
  • One vacuum cleaner

That is all.

It seems like a small thing, but it matters

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Because the iPhone uses the same charging system as my iPod, my capitulation means I have to carry one fewer charger when traveling — and that, in the event of a loss, replacing it will be significantly easier, since it’s easier to find an iPod dealer than a cell phone shop with the ProprietaryCharger du Jour in stock.

iPhone Day 2

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In which I discuss and comment upon the new toy.

Really? You paid $400, and you still need to be told this?
The manual includes this: “Do not drop, disassemble, open, crush, bend, deform, puncture, shred, microwave, incinerate, paint, or insert foreign objects into iPhone.”
Finally
The iPhone totally wins on the “speaker, phone, or earbud?” interface mechanism. With the RAZR, I was never sure what would happen if I took a call with Bluetooth on and my headset in range. With the Treo, it was somewhat more predictable, but still a pain to switch during a call. With the 8525, it was back to nightmare mode. The iPhone’s “in a call” menu has a button clearly marked “Output” the brings up a three-item menu. Choose what you want. End of story. WIN.
Free Stuff!
My first iPod, well before the craze took over, was the original 5 gig model with a physical scroll wheel. It came with the a wall-wart, the Firewire charging cable, a dock, and headphones. In the years since, Apple’s trimmed the kit down to just a sync cable and some earbuds, which kind of sucks if you’d prefer to charge by plugging into the wall. The iPhone, though, comes with the whole kit again, which is nice. It means we also now have enough kit that we keep an iPod charging setup in the living room, for Erin’s Nano, plus one at my desk for the iPhone during the day, plus the one that never leaves my briefcase for use when I travel. No forgotten chargers FTW!
MORE free stuff!
I just discovered a polishing/buffing cloth in the box. Nice.
In which we expose our Aaron Sorkin geekery
The iPhone means we can always carry “Shibboleth” with us, which keeps Mrs Heathen happy. “Once More With Feeling,” too, once we get ahold of something to rip it with.
Native Sync Wins
A decade ago, when the first Pilots emerged and before Outlook took over, Palm quickly established itself as the de facto desktop PIM *because* using it was part of what made the Palm so successful. The effortless sync meant you never thought anything of adding an event or address on one device or the other, because you knew the data would flow without any worries about lost or duplicated entries or whatever. It’s great that we can now sync any phone with any desktop, nearly, but the tight coupling of the iPhone and Apple’s native calendar and address book tools means my sync troubleshooting days are over.
The Triumphant Return of HeathenPix
As with the halcyon bygone days of the Treo, the iPhone makes it simple to take quickie phone shots and email ’em to Flickr. Enjoy.