Monthly Archives: September 2003
“Hey, man, why don’t we just blow up that sumbitch Hurricun?”
The fact that this question is answered on the NOAA website makes me very, very sad. (Via Kieran Healy’s Blog.)
Dept. of Linguistics
Just what we need: a Gansta-Pirate Dictionary.
Rummy admits no Saddam-9/11 link
Yup, it’s true, despite the fact that many Americans believe otherwise. Where might they have gotten that idea, I wonder? From the endless War-on-Terror rhetoric coming from 1600 Pennsylvania? From Bush’s own nebulous, bait-and-switch cassus belli where Iraq was concerned? Naah. Couldn’t be that. It also couldn’t be that such obfuscation was deliberate, and designed to distract pretty much everyone from the fact that the overwhelming majority of the 9/11 hijackers were Saudi, and that Saudi money underwrote the whole operation, right?
Right?
A bit shrill, but basically correct
A bit of bombastic Flash, courtesy of the folks at Spacetaker.org. Don’t forget what Harris did in Florida.
Dept. of No Comment
Not exactly a bird or a plane, but definitely useful in a pinch.
It’s Angle-Grinder Man!
As it turns out, Gates may not be COMPLETELY evil
Some months ago, I read story in the auto press about how a guy in California was finally able to get permission to US-certify Porsche’s legendary and ultra-rare 959, the supercar never legal to drive here. Only 226 original production cars remain from ’87-’88, plus another 4 built from parts in ’92. Quite famously, Bill Gates is said to have had one imported that he couldn’t drive legally. Rumor has it that Ralph Lauren has one, too, that’s illegally titled as a conventional 911 Turbo. This is a car that introduced all sorts of amazing features only now trickling into the “regular” Porsches, and that boasted a then-stunning 400+ horsepower, all-wheel drive, and an absurd SIX speed transmission.
Well, Gates must’ve noticed that he was in fact the richest guy around, because as it happens it’s Microsoft money that was behind the project to upgrade-and-certify the 959 (the logic for the upgrade boiled to to “well, we’re doing so much anyway, why not make it exceptional again?” on the grounds that 450 HP just isn’t that exceptional anymore).
Autoweek has a great story on this, if you go in for that sort of thing. The final result, though, is a “new” 959 turning 600+ HP — for the low, low price of, well, just about half a million dollars. For a used car. But damn, it’s a 959, and 15 years on, it’ll still run with the best of them.
But Gates? Your software still sucks.
There, on the horizon, a glimmer of hope…
Retired Army Gen. Wes Clark is gathering his political team in Arkansas, presumably to prepare for an announcement. I think we’ve got a good chance of getting rid of Bush’s team in ’04 already; with Clark in the field, though, those chances look a lot better to me.
Dept. of MORE Evil
Ashcroft dismisses anti-PATRIOT protests as “hysteria.” If you read this piece carefully, you’ll note that he says “[we] don’t care what you read,” with the implication being “but we get to know anyway,” or, in other words “trust me.”
No thanks, John. Especially not when you say things like
“The hysteria is ridiculous. Our job is not,” Ashcroft said.
Text Soup
Dept. of CSS Shenanigans
I’ve added a [categories] link above, which should produce, if you gesture at it, you’ll get a list of our current categories here at Miscellaneous Heathen (they’re noted at the bottom of all the links now). Select one to show only entries from that category.
The basic functionality should work for any browser, but it’ll work best in a modern browser. It works most well in IE 6 or Safari; Moz does pretty well. IE 5 is, of course, continuing to ride the software short bus, but since this is a personal site, I don’t have to humor its fucktard ways.
Dept. of Evil
Apparently, some folks are playing the Star Wars Imperial March (1.5M mp3) whenever Ashcroft appears publically. I love those guys.
This may be why Ashcroft is no longer talking to print journalists (who presumably tend to ask hard questions), and has been speaking in support of PATRIOT only in front of very specific groups.
In any case, his DOJ has been given seminars to local law enforcement on how they may use the USA PATRIOT act to prosecute drug crimes as terrorist acts, which can presumably produce lots of good law-and-order press for reelection time. Before PATRIOT, making crystal meth was merely a silly, stupid thing to do; now, it’s terrorism! (more)
Dept. of Web Pets
Rub his belly.
Say, who’s that dork on the left?
This Apple advertisement from nearly 20 years ago includes three computer industry luminaries. The middle one is Mitch Kapor, designer of Lotus 1-2-3 and current leader of the Open Source Applications Foundation, currently hard at work on a true Open competitor to Outlook. The one on the right is Fred Gibbons, whose company has essentially disappeared.
The real question, though, is “does the dork on the left still have that shirt?”
It’s a pattern: Patriot, Cash, and now more Zevon
Another brief memory of Zevon, courtesy of AintNoBadDude.com.
If it’s not one thing, it’s another: that NoGator fella just won’t shut up about Cash.
Open Source 101
I know some of my readers are just as geeky as I am (if not moreso!), but many of you aren’t. Maybe you don’t know what all this fuss is about over Open Source software, or why it matters, or why it might be a good idea even for your business or home. Most people outside the tech business world probably don’t understand any of this, and that’s not surprising.
Fortunately, the Economist is running this piece, which paints a pretty fair picture of why OS software is appealing to businesses and government, and why proprietary (i.e., closed) software is seen as undesirable in some contexts no matter what the cost. In no small part, it has to to with control and flexibility: if you’re using OS, you’re free to do as you please with your software. If you’re tied to a vendor, then that vendor’s business plan will start dictating your own business plan. It’s not a long piece, so its coverage is limited, but it’s as fine a rundown for the lay person as I’ve seen yet.
More on PATRIOT
I know I post about this all the time, but dammit, it’s important. Another weblog has a fine rundown of a recent Nightline segment wherein Ted Koppel examines PATRIOT and questions its supporters and critics. Frankly, it’s some astounding stuff. The blog author, Lisa Rein, has some trouble with punctuation and spelling in her transcripts, but she’s also providing some fine clips from the show. Please take a few minutes and read, if nothing else, the transcript of Barbara Comstock’s defense of the act, and note — as Koppel does — how she seems to keep forgetting that those “terrorists” she mentions are actually only “suspected terrorists;” none have sat for any trial.
Koppel closes with this, which is as clear an evisceration of Ashcroft’s DOJ as any I’ve seen:
The men who drafted our constitution, who framed our civil rights and protected our various freedoms under the law would, I suspect, retch at some of the bone headed, self-serving, misinterpretations of their intentions that they so often use these days to undermine the very freedoms they pretend to safeguard. The miracle of American Law is not that it protects popular speech, or the privacy of the powerful, or the homes of the priviledged, but rather, that the least among us, those with the fewest defenses thoses suspected of the worst crimes, the most despised in our midst, are presumed innocent until proven guilty. That remains as revolutionary a concept now as it was in the 1780s. It makes protecting the country against terrorism excruciatingly difficult, but we cannot arbitrarily suspend the rights of one catagory of suspects without endangering all the others.
Food for thought, kids. Remember, too, that on this past 9/11, our president was insisting that PATRIOT didn’t go far enough.
Are you SURE this is a good idea?
Mike Nichols has been signed to direct a musical adaptation of Monty Python and the Holy Grail for the stage.
The good news? It’s Eric Idle’s idea.
Another Cash Tribute
For a long time, this guy — and I don’t know him; I just know his site — had a photo diary of his son’s development here. Today, Biggerhand.com is a tribute to the Man in Black, and it’s nice, simple, and true.
Dave Barry on Warren Zevon
Barry knew him, and tells a fine story or two about him.
Why the War on Terror is Bogus
This commentary — by a member of Parliament, no less — from The Guardian, a British newspaper, says nothing we haven’t seen before, but it does say it all at once, and very clearly. Why journalists on this side of the pond aren’t also saying this is beyond me, especially since the PNAC documents are widely avaiable, and the events of the last two years match PNAC’s goals awfully closely. Even if you don’t agree with his points, at least consider his comments.
The Man in Black joins the Excitable Boy: Johnny Cash, 1932 – 2003
American icon and music legend Johnny Cash passed away early today. The stated cause of death was complications from diabetes, but we ought not dismiss the obvious: his wife of 35 years, June Carter Cash, passed away earlier this summer.
Cash’s career spans decades, and includes a myriad of collaborations of the type typified by his last recording contract, with Rick Rubin. In the sixties, he worked with Bob Dylan on Nashville Skyline; his ’69 – ’71 TV show included guests such as Dylan, Joni Mitchell, and Louis Armstrong. Another famous guest on that program was Merle Haggard, who first saw Cash from the audience at Cash’s 1958 San Quentin show. Over four decades, he had 48 singles on the Billboard pop chart and won 11 Grammys, including a lifetime achievement award and the 1998 Country Album of the Year. CNN notes that “it’s said that more than 100 other recording artists and groups have recorded ‘I Walk the Line,'” and it’s easy to believe.
At 48 (in 1980), Cash became the youngest living inductee to the Country Music Hall of Fame. In 1992, he added the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame to his accomplishments. Two years later, his relationship with Rick Rubin began, and he entered a sort of creative renaissance. Rubin stated he wanted Cash to sing and record whatever he wanted, and Cash obliged, including new recordings of his own work as well as almost shocking reinterpretations of songs by Soundgarden, U2, Danzig, Depeche Mode, and Trent Reznor. What could have been jokes — “old country artist does hard rock and roll” — turned out to be startling and affecting, thanks no doubt to Cash’s inimitable baritone and style.
Last year, Sony put out a previously unreleased recording of a 1969 show at Madison Square Garden. Along with Cash, it includes performances by Carl Perkins, the Carter Family, the Statler Brothers, and others; he’s at the height of his power and popularity. It’s been in heavy rotation at Nogators HQ for several months. It’s a fine piece of work, and of course, it begins the same way he started all his concerts: “Hello, I’m Johnny Cash.” We here at Nogators believe you might enjoy it, too.
John Ritter Claimed by Celebrity-Death-Trilogy Rule
John Ritter collapsed on the set of his current show yesterday before dying at a Burbank hospital, apparently succumbing to a heretofore undiagnosed heart ailment. He was a week from turning 55, which is entirely too young, particularly considering the dramatic work he’s turned in over the last ten years (beginning with Sling Blade). Ritter was the youngest son of western hero and country artist Tex Ritter, which I didn’t know until today.
Dept. of Navelgazing
This is a list of all the search terms people have used to find this site so far this month. My favorites: “antibiotics or pitying or performer or counterpart or imposing” and “a list of things auto mechanics do.” I have no idea why either led those poor fools here.
Fantastically, the list also includes “they say that the road ain’t no place to start a family” and “work hard to get my fill everybody wants a thrill.” I’m used to Journey-based searches (what with hosting this and all), but actual Journey lyrics are new.
More of the Same, but Different.
This bit is from the Badger people, but features the music of Wesley Willis, who died last week.
Dept. of Goofy Animation
It’s been a while since we had one of these. Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger MUSHROOM MUSHROOM.
Dept. of IBP Zealotry
Infernal Bridegroom Productions begins its 2003-2004 season with the world premiere Jerry’s World on September 25. The show is based on the work of radio personality Joe Frank; Harry Shearer once described Frank’s work as “a fist coming through the radio,” so I’m pretty excited. Not about fists per se, of course, but about what this company will do with this material. IBP Associate Artistic Director Troy Schulze has adapated Frank’s material for the stage, so I’ve got high hopes — he did an adaptation of David Berman’s work last year that was amazing.
The Point? Oh yes. Come with us on opening night, or go on your own. The salient data:
What? Jerry’s World<br/> When? 9/25, 26, 27; 10/2, 3, 4, 9, 10, 11, 16, 17, 18. All at 8pm.<br/> Where? The Axiom at 2524 McKinney, behind (east of) George R. Brown<br/> How Much? $5.99 for the September shows; thereafter, ten bucks on Thursdays, twelve on Fridays, and fifteen clams on Saturday nights. <br/> Do I need reservations? Probably. Call ’em at 713-522-8443.<br/>
Well, this is at least encouraging.
At lunch, I tried to go buy Warren Zevon’s last album at my local record shop.
They were sold out.
Web Geeks Only
Updated Colophon now online, reflecting the migration to and rationale for Blosxom, plus some additional bits and details. Oh, and now that page actually validates for real.
Dept. of American Propeganda
The American Social Hygiene Poster Database is a fine, fine collection of public & social health posters, ca. 1910 through 1970.<br/>
Ordinarily, I wouldn’t post a Photoshop contest.
But some of these are actually pretty clever.<br/>
Yet Another PATRIOT Act Story
Salon is running a piece on Ashcroft’s summer pro-PATRIOT roadshow that includes a bit of data I hadn’t heard before: apparently, one potential successor to PATRIOT is called the “VICTORY Act.”
Up next, Victory Gin, Victory Chocolates, and Victory Cigarettes. Apparently, the literary blind spot at the Ashcroft DOJ extends from our own Constitution and Bill of Rights (PDF link) all the way to disturbingly prescient works of literature.
These here toys?
Creepy as all get-out.
That’ll Show ‘Em!
The RIAA has settled its file-swapping lawsuit against a 12-year-old girl for $2,000. Way to go, guys.
“I’ll see you in the next life / wake me up for meals” – The Excitable Boy Exits.
Warren Zevon died on Sunday. He was 56. Diagnosed with terminal lung cancer last August, he was able to spend much of the last year working on his musical epitaph, The Wind, released just last month. Astute Heathen will note it was Zevon who gave us the title for my dove hunting essay of several years ago (reposted last week).
Obits:
And a quote (from the Billboard obit):
In a candid interview with Billboard last year, Zevon — who had addressed death with frankness and caustic amusement frequently during the course of his 30-year career — joked that he wanted to live long enough to see the latest James Bond film. Once a Hollywood wild man of legendary reputation, Zevon had been sober for nearly 18 years and quit smoking almost five years ago. When he was asked last year what he does while staring death in the eye, Zevon replied by saying, “Work.” “Harder, hopefully with some focus,” Zevon said. “I’m working a lot every day. I already have great relationships with my children … I’ve already led two lives. I got to be a wild, crazy, Jim Morrison quasi-rock star, anyway, and I got to be a sober dad for 18 years. I can’t possibly complain.”
Local Boy Makes Good
Well, he’s not exactly local — he lives in NYC, and he’s from Birmingham, and here I am in Texas — and the degree to which “publication in an Internet magazine” can be construed as “makes good” should be left as an exercise for the reader (particularly when said publication is really just him being snarky at his (real or imagined (HDANCN?) neighbors), but my pal Chris Mohney has a piece in McSweeney’s. (It’s the September 5 top story; there does not appear to be a permanent link yet.)
Agent XXX is, of course, an expensive aftermarket option.
Mr Bond, your car is ready.
Oh, nothing.
Minor style changes & such. The whole thing should (a) center in your browser and (b) resize with the browser, rendering it useful (?) in any width window. The shoemakers children in this case now have at least nominal footwear, but only on a few static pages plus the Heathen section.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled shenanigans.
Get One While They Last!
At last, a historically accurate George W. Bush Action Figure! (Karl Rove Control Chip and Spine sold separately.)
“Read it again for the first time”
In honor of my annual hunting trip, a trip in the wayback machine from 1997: Lawyers, Guns, and Money. Thanks to longtime NoGator Hunting Correspondent P.M. for yet another fine trip to reduce the Dove Menace.