The Worm Within is a hilarious, if somewhat overly frank, account of what happens if you manage to acquire a tapeworm. In Belgium. Not that I think Belgium has any culpability here, mind you, odd menu choices aside.
The article has been widely blogged this week, I’ll admit; I cribbed it from Laura.
(Now: my father was a veterinarian; while he did treat dogs and cats similarly afflicted on a regular basis, I have no recollection of any event resembling the climax of this poor chap’s tale.)
(Or not). Approximately Perfect takes the time to view recent events through the lens the Right is clearly using. It’s got some cheap shots, but it’s still funny.
Read what one soldier has to say about Rumsfeld’s testimony.
It’s been said several times that “the best operating system to use is the one you like, unless that operating system is VMS.” It’s funny, and especially snarky, and it contains at least a glimmer of truth; VMS has been essentially abandoned in the last 15 or so years. In my professional computing life, I’ve only worked in one place that used it: TeleCheck. They did so for very good reasons, of course; when they built their all-proprietary, custom system, VMS and Vax/Alpha hardware provided something not easily found on other platforms: failover via clustering. That VMS’ other great feature, versioning built right into the file system, gave us an easy way to retreat from buggy upgrades was just icing on the cake.
Still, with the rise of cheap, commodity hardware, the place in the world for the Digital Vax and Alpha machines dwindled. The rise of Unix, then NT, and then Linux left VMS alone and behind. Windows servers look like your desktop, and Unixy servers all look more or less the same, but takes a whole different skillset to manage a cluster of Alphas — and it’s a skillset that is in short supply, notwithstanding the oft-cited trusim that the last COBOL programmer will be able to name his price.
I last saw VMS in 1997, which is far later than most folks. I left TeleCheck and joined the boom, and spent my time on Solaris and Aix servers, with the occasional and ill-advised Windows NT box thrown in for variety. (Since then IBM has thrown in its lot with Linux, and Sun is clearly circling the drain, leaving Windows and Linux almost alone in the server market.) I assumed, in the years since then, that VMS had gone the way of all flesh, especially after Microsoft made much noise about its NT-on-Alphas move (hey, it sounded like a good idea at the time; ultimately, I think I only ever saw one Alpha running NT, and it was run by the single least competant big-company IT man I ever saw (no, I won’t tell you the client [HDANCN?])).
All of this is just background, of course, to this story. See, Compaq and Digital merged, and then HP and Compaq merged, and now it comes to this.
You know what to do.
We haven’t played Kingdom of Loathing yet, but that’s only because we can’t decide what to name our Accordian Thief. Beware the Saber-toothed Lime!
Harmon Leon has written funny, funny shit for Might, the Wave, and others. Don’t miss his attempts to get fired from Jack in the Box.
Mark Miller, a physics student at UT, filed a FOIA request regarding the network of tunnels underneath UT’s Austin campus.
Then the goon squad came to visit.
Bush’s stem cell research ban affects real humans with real diseases, like Type 1 diabetics. The New York Times and the Wall Street Journal have both covered the issue recently (Word file links).
Remember this stance when you vote.
Appalling Flatware for Sale. (Alternate link.)
It appears that Doctor Doom is alive and well, but no evidence suggests that he’s threatening his old cronies, not even Sue Storm, who now hides in the Kansas House.
Peter Parker could not be reached for comment.
Quoth Gina Lynn:
Mrs. Ashcroft should tie her husband up in front of a sinfully large television and make him watch “Footloose.” While drinking an Irish coffee. I don’t care where you identify yourself on the political or religious spectrum. Having Ashcroft in your bedroom is an intrusion you should not have to put up with. Indeed, I’m sorry I even planted the image in your head. Ew.
Full story here.
We’ve been patient, and our patience has been rewarded.
AngryAlien.com presents The Shining in 30 Seconds, re-enacted by bunnies.
Paris’ Pere Lachaise would like to show Jim Morrison the door, but they’ve wanted to do this for years. We visited in 1995, and found his gravesite festooned with flowers, cigarettes, condoms, whisky, joints, and hippies.
Of course, Oscar Wilde’s grave is “decorated” as well, so there you go. Lachaise is huge, too; I’d tell you how long it took us to find Jim, but that would be embarrassing.
Frequent Wait! Wait! Don’t Tell Me! contributor Adam Felber has some amusing bits to say about the Administration’s inability to admit mistakes. And also kittens.
Billmon over at Whiskey Bar has a nice set of quotes in re: the treatment of prisoners, the Geneva Convention, and our moral high road.
CSS Pencils is pretty amazing, though wholly impractical.
What happens when Doctor Who calls Doctor Who on Radio 4?
Seymour Hersh’s New Yorker piece is all over the news, largely because it’s (thus far) the only real public discussion of the military’s horrific behavior toward prisoners at Abu Ghraib prison near Baghdad.
Read it.
Rob sez: “if you go to www.benandjerrys.com and promise to vote they will give you an iTunes song.” It’s true.
In a development sure to excite German metal fans everywhere, it appears that some wealthy Indian youths are using scorpion stings to get high.
I mean, damn, can’t they just do bong hits like everyone else?
Hey, kids! See if you can find the unfortunate — and hopefully inadvertant — historical reference in this fishwrapper headline!
How could we have overlooked the sublime madness of Crazy Drunk Guy?
How ’bout some Soviet lingerie? You know you want some.
Donald Rumsfeld’s New Fighting Techniques Are Unstoppable!
(Yeah, it’s been around for a while, but Rob said I should post it anyway.)
The Sinclair Group has ordered its seven ABC affiliates not to air Friday’s Nightline, which will consist largely of the names and photographs of men and women of the US Armed Forces killed thus far in Iraq.
The ACLU filed suit a few weeks ago challenging the FBI’s methods of obtaining some business records, but provisions of the act itself prevented them from announcing the suit.
“It is remarkable that a gag provision in the Patriot Act kept the public in the dark about the mere fact that a constitutional challenge had been filed in court,” Ann Beeson, the ACLU’s associate legal director, said in a statement. “President Bush can talk about extending the life of the Patriot Act, but the ACLU is still gagged from discussing details of our challenge to it.”
(WaPo story; use nogators@nogators.com / nogators for access.)
Tag Heuer has released the first wholly new mechanical watch movement in years in the form of a belt driven treatment of their famous Monaco watch. Tag’s own site is a Flash-heavy abomination, but luckily Gizmodo has coverage, too.
IKEA Claims Another 10,000 Lifestyles.
“For me, it started slowly,” Westin said. “I had Poang — it’s a form of chair — and I just couldn’t seem to get rid of it. That led to a lot of other things I’m not particularly proud of. I indulged in Leksvik, Branas, even a Svingen. If you don’t know what those are, consider yourself lucky.”
So, how much do YOU know about the separation of Church and State? We got a 12, which is apparently average.
This story about the birth of Marcia Gay Harden‘s twins includes pronunciation guides for the names of two of their three children.
Or, more accurately, Slate wonders, and we agree.
Restaurant Magazine has announced its ’50 Best Restaurants in the World,’ and for the second year running, Thomas Keller’s French Laundry took the top prize.
Other US notables include five New York establishments, none of which are surprising: Gramercy Tavern (No. 11, also singled out as a great value), Daniel (12), Jean Georges (18), Balthazar (40), and Craft (44). American cuisine matriarch Alice Waters isn’t neglected, either, but we expected her influential Berkeley bistro Chez Panisse would come in higher than 37 (or at least higher than LA’s Spago, at 35). Our Jackson office will be pleased to note the inclusion of Charlie Trotter’s eponymous eaterie in Chicago (32), which also has the distinction of being the only listed American restaurant not in California or New York.
It’s not news that Bush has finally agreed to testify in front of the 9/11 commission. What you may not know the conditions for said testimony, among them:
But don’t worry about that last part. Scott McClellan has already assured us that they will “tell it exactly how it happened.”
Right, Scott. Right.
The BBC has a nice long story about the 30th anniversary of Dungeons and Dragons.
Goofball fundie preachers, take note.
Wired News reports that Diebold may face criminal charges in California over its touch-screen voting machines.
In New Zealand, you can buy possum fur nipple warmers.
We know what you’re thinking, though. “But Uncle Heathen, if I wear those, they won’t match my panties!” You’re fashion conscious. Of course you are. And you should be. Fortunately, the Kiwis have that covered, too.
(Links are to images only, since the website won’t allow bookmarks to specific products; the store link is here.)
Have a look at www.JohnKerryIsADouchebagButImVotingForHimAnyway.com.
Pootpoot poot poot “poot?” Poot!
Silica Gel: Do Not Eat.
Or, at least, we point out that RockAndRollConfidential.com has it covered.
The Houston Press, among other sources, points out Islamica News, a sort of Muslim Onion. Headlines include “Man Blames Everything on Jews” and “Halal Butcher Loses Finger, Hopes No One Notices.”
Diebold KNEW it was breaking the law in California.
This review in the NYT may be the meanest thing we’ve ever read. Hit it quick (nogators/nogators), as the Grey Weasels take stories down after a few weeks.
Timmy the tortise, who found fame as a ship’s mascot during the Crimean War, passed away at his Devon castle home, where has lived since the late 19th century. He was 160.
“That’s not a conversation! That’s Keno!”
Once Erin reads this, we’re gonna have to go to LA so she can see who will admire her purses.
Confused? Just watch.
Mykeru has lots to say, and it involves the phrases “Commander Bunnypants” and “bone chewing psycho bitch with the ethics of a deer tick.”
