Man celebrates 23rd birthday by stripping, coating self with cheese. He was, of course, arrested.

The BBC has a story running that begins:

A man in the US state of Florida was arrested after he allegedly used his pet alligator to hit his girlfriend. David Havenner, 41, faces misdemeanour charges of battery and possession of an alligator, said the authorities.

We wish to make clear that while certain Heathen staffers are in fact Floridians, at no point have they threatened Chief Heathen with any sort of reptile. Also, this is in no way related to occasional-Heathen Yvonne, who gots a lizard.

A couple weeks ago, a truely shockingly banal and ridiculous tirade appeared at WomensWallStreet.com, authored by one Annie Jacobsen. The piece itself is worthy of a Lifetime movie; seriously, it’s on par with “Baby Monitor: Sound of Fear.” The gist of the thing — which is terribly irritating to read both for its absurdly overwrought prose style and the awful design of the site — is that she was on a Northwest flight from Detroit to LA that included some Middle Eastern people who did all sorts of scary things on board. By “scary things,” of course, she means “talking,” and “moving about the cabin” and “carrying oddly shaped bags” and, worst of all, “using the lavatory.”

Now, enough people were freaked out, apparently, that an investigation was done, and the 14 men turned out to be — shock! — innocent musicians hired to play a gig in LA. Not that this changes Jacobsen’s mind, of course, nor the minds of the thousands of critical-thought-impaired lemmings who shared her freakout via the WomensWallStreet story.

I read her piece about a week ago, about the third time it showed up in my mailbox from well-meaning friends. Turns out, I’m not the only one who thought it was hysterial fear-mongering from some suburbanite bitty who doesn’t get out much; Salon’s Patrick Smith, author of the ongoing column “Ask the Pilot,” had a similar reaction that’s far more eloquent and clear than my post here. Read it.

This Business Week piece on the decline and [expected] fall of Sun covers much of the trouble with the embattled creator of Java, but it misses the most basic point: Sun has bet the farm that people will pay a premium for Solaris, one of the last surviving proprietary Unixes.

This used to be true; in the late 90s, my old firm worked almost exclusively on Sun hardware running Solaris; we delivered that platform to an awful lot of happy customers because it was the best possible choice. Windows, then as now, just wasn’t up to the task, and the other Unixes — HP/UX, IBM’s Aix, etc. — weren’t as popular. Then something weird happened: Linux. Within a few years, it was awfully hard to find a reason to pay for an expensive, proprietary server when Linux on commodity hardware did the job just as well.

The server choice conversation these days pretty much starts and ends with “Windows or Linux?” Unless there’s some other (usually political) reason, though, the right choice is almost always Linux for sheer TCO reasons. You can run on cheaper hardware than an XP system, and you have access to the whole of the Open Source pantheon of software. To choose an expensive Sun machine running a closed OS is to spend even more money than the Windows system requires, which throws far more money at the problem than is reasonable in most contexts.

I won’t pretend that there aren’t some applications that could benefit from Sun hardware, but remember that Google runs on commodity hardware, and their needs probably exceed most. Even if you’re not the world’s index, when you can do 3MM hits a day and support 150,000 users with two commodity boxes running Linux, Apache, and Postgres (like these guys), why exactly would we want to buy Sun machines and software?

The BW piece only mentions this obliquely, but at the end of the day I think it’s the biggest problem facing Sun, and they’re doing little to face it. They sell high-end servers running proprietary Unix, and pretty much nobody else is making money doing that anymore. Their other lines of business aren’t significant on the bottom line. Most folks see that (which helps explain their market position, stock price, and the ongoing departure of key execs). Except, apparently, Sun CEO Scott McNealy.

Wired News is running a piece this week pointing out what most web folks have been irritated by for years: New York Times article links expire, which makes them particularly inappropriate for web usage. We here at Heathen actively try not to link to NYT stories, since we know that in a few weeks, (a) the link will expire and (b) motivated searchers will discover that online access to that same article will cost them $3, or 300% of the cost of the daily edition.

This curious policy — charge for archives, give away the daily news for free, and above all have the links break — means that folks looking for information on current events via Google will find virtually no reference to the Times. The Wired piece considers what this means for the “paper of record” — and how they got to this odd position.

They’re refusing to mount a billboard in Times Square purchased by an antiwar group. While a variant of the original design (at right) with a dove instead of the bomb is still being evaluated, CC stated:

[…] the decision to reject the ad was made independently by the Spectacolor division. But he said the company generally does not run copy that would be unsuitable for children or cause them to ask difficult questions, nor does it run political attacks that could be considered “personally offensive. SFGate.com coverage

Yeah, we gotta avoid those hard questions. I mean, that could lead to THOUGHT and ANALYSIS, and that’s only for people who hate freedom, right?

Via jwz.

Ian Spiers went to take pictures of a local landmark as part of his photography class. The cops decided he was up to no good despite the fact that countless others at the location were also taking pictures.

Law enforcement must not be allowed to continue to coopt 9/11 as an excuse to harrass people they don’t like, or that don’t look like them. They work for us. Their job is to keep us safe, not bully student photographers.

According to the LA Times, the Pentagon now plans to hold some detainees in secret to prevent them from being subject to legal scrutiny under the recent SCOTUS rulings.

We’re pretty sure that’s just plain evil.

Lawgeek discusses a recent preliminary injunction granted to a tape drive manufacturer seeking to use the controversial anti-cirumvention provisions to prevent repair services from working on legally sold drives for legitimate customers. If this ruling stands, it could be illegal in the future to have your car serviced by anyone other than the dealer, for example. Does this sound right to you?

In other copyright news, the INDUCE act — which makes the DMCA look almost benign — is creating quite a storm of protest. Hatch’s law would render illegal any device or technology that “induces” copyright violation, meaning that, essentially, copyright holders would have a say in what technology would be legal. The INDUCE act could be used to attack, among other things, VCRs, iPods, and even general-purpose computing equipment. I think we know by now not to trust anyone who says “well, sure, it COULD do that, but trust us, we won’t use it that way.” Right. Read more.

The Pentagon announced this week that it “accidentally” destroyed the exact records of GWB’s military service that would have proved he was never AWOL. What, exactly, are the odds? I mean, we’re sure he’s innocent, but now he has to live with the stigma of guilt because of this ever-so-unfortunate turn of events.

Yeah, right. Kos has more to say on the subject, and pretty much nails it. Ask a lawyer what destroying evidence means in criminal procedings, too; if we follow those rules, we should assume not that the records were exculpatory, but that they were as damning as possible.

Then again, it’s also simpler to believe the world is flat. The Guardian covers the career and influence of Laurie Mylroie, someone best described as “nutbird Saddam conspiracy theorist.” Mylroie believes, among other things, that Saddam was behind every major act of terrorism against the US in the last 10 years, including the Oklahoma City bombing; she’s also sure they pulled of TWA 800 despite the NTSB’s findings that its tragic end was accidental.

Notwithstanding all this, she was nevertheless hired as a terrorism consultant by the Pentagon; Richard Perle thinks she’s fabulous, natch, and Wolfowitz apparently drank the Kool-Aid as well. Of course, that these guys were already looking for a reason to invade Iraq just made the path easier.

Starting with a theory and then working to publicize only the evidence that supports it isn’t exactly a quest for truth; it reminds us a bit of this piece on distinguishing pseudoscience from the real deal.

The House, which had momentarily grown a pair as opponents of the PATRIOT Act — from both parties — sought to curb portions of the far-reaching “anti-terror” law, has backed down in the face of a veto threat. The Feds will remain free to peruse our reading habits. Oh joy.

Critics of the Patriot Act argued that without it, investigators can still obtain book store and other records simply by obtaining subpoenas or search warrants. Those traditional investigative tools are harder to get from grand juries or courts than the orders issued under the Patriot Act, which do not require authorities to show probable cause. [Emph. added.]

Once a government GETS powers, they are generally loathe to give them up. Those who give up liberty in the pursuit of security would do well to realize that, and that (furthermore) this kind of “safety” actually puts us in MORE danger from an overpowerful government. Bruce says so, and he knows what he’s talking about.

We’re trying very hard not to consider pronouncements like this simple scaremongering in an effort to pump up the incumbent. I mean, how much more vague can you get?

Congress overturns Bush’s new Cuba restrictions.

Check out what NEC wants to do with their batteries. If they have their way, it’ll be illegal to bypass their “protection” and make batteries compatible with NEC devices, allowing NEC to charge whatever they want with no fear of competitive pressure. Look for the same thing to happen with any consumable, like ink cartridges (where this stuff is already happening), toner cartridges, and even garage door openers (though there’s been some case law there already).

The one that cost half again more than Congress was told? The one where an actuary knew this, but said he’d been threatened with dismissal if he told Congress the real figure?

An internal HHS investigation confirmed that the top Medicare guy, Thomas A. Scully, did indeed threaten to fire the chief actuary if he told the truth. Scully has since resigned to take a job as a — wait for it — lobbyist for drug companies (who will benefit from the law, natch). This is good for Scully, since the investigation found that if he were still a Federal employee, he might be subject to sanction; as is, he broke no laws, so he’ll suffer no consequences. (NYT link; use nogators/nogators)

Norwegian couple has sex on stage during a concert by — and we are not making this up — a band called The Cumshots.

Ellingsen, age 28, and Leona Johansson, age 21, are members of the environmental organization “Fuck for Forest.” They have sex in public in order to put focus on the rainforest.

We got yer rain forest right here. Heh heh. Heh heh. GG Allin would be proud, we’re sure.