Mike made us start our day with this rendition of Iron Maiden’s “Trooper” done entirely in handfarts.
If you click through to the YouTube page, you’ll see the “artist” has apparently been working for years to develop his technique, tags himself on YouTube as a “musician,” and has several more videos for your perusal (e.g., “The Final Countdown,” or, as God is our witness, “”Bohemian Rhapsody“”). Sweet lord.
Many are now aware of the long-running Net-joke “Chuck Norris Facts.” We’re not sure where they came from, and a bunch of them are Brasky retreads, but sometimes they’re funny.
The offshoot Bruce Schneier Facts are funnier: “If we built a Dyson sphere around Bruce Schneier and captured all of his energy for 2 months, without any loss, we could power an ideal computer running at 3.2 degrees K to count up to 2^256. This strongly implies that not only can Bruce Schneier brute-force attack 256-bit keys, but that he is built of something other than matter and occupies something other than space.”
There was a light rail accident in downtown Houston yesterday. Like virtually every other such accident, it’s because the driver thought he’d race the train:
A Metro light rail train collided with a sport utility vehicle in downtown Houston, sending several people to the hospital, authorities said.
The train struck the Chrysler Aspen about 3:15 p.m. Tuesday on westbound Pease at Main, officials said.
Metro Police Chief Tom Lambert said the driver briefly stopped at the red light, then drove into the path of the oncoming train.
The train struck the right side of the Chrysler, pinning the male passenger inside the vehicle.
“The passenger had to be removed from the vehicle by the Houston Fire Department,” Lambert said.
The SCOTUS has refused to hear the case of German citizen Khaled el-Masri, who was kidnapped by the US and imprisoned secretly in Afghanistan for four months in a case of mistaken identity. In refusing to hear the case, the Supremes have accepted the Administration’s exercise of the state secrets privilege, which essentially means they can do whatever they want and quash the resulting courtroom challenges on the grounds that “hey, we gotta keep secrets.”
At the height of Cold War tensions between the United States and the former Soviet Union, U.S. presidents used the state secrets privilege six times from 1953 to 1976, according to OpenTheGovernment.org. Since 2001, it has been used 39 times, enabling the government to unilaterally withhold documents from the court system, the group said.
Thirteen CIA agents have arrest warrants in Germany as a result of the case.
Back in ’99 or ’00, we finally went in for contact lenses. Once we did, we couldn’t believe we’d waited so long. Our vision was better in every way, and we had virtually no trouble adapting to wearing them. Plus, for the first time EVER, we could buy any sunglasses we wanted, from dime store/ZZ Top specials to fancy Ray-Bans and the like. Frankly, after 20 years of prescription sunglasses, pretty much ALL sunglasses are cheap.
Predictably, we went a bit nuts, and bought a few pairs in the first few months of no-glasses. We stopped, though, when we found Maui Jims, specifically their featherlight, titantium-framed, hinge-less model. There simply is no better pair of sunglasses, we’re convinced, for any amount of money. Sadly, these are pricey — $250 to $300 a pair — but, like good pens, we figured on keeping them for a long while, so we sucked it up and bought ’em in 2001.
Then, in 2003, something awful happened: a crack developed in the titanium wire frame. We packed them up and sent them back to MJ, who have a very generous repair policy. Despite being out of warranty, though, MJ decided they’d just send us another pair, gratis. Score.
We wore those nearly daily until last week, when a similar (but more complete) break happened. All of a sudden, we were holding two halves instead of one whole. Just now, we’ve gotten off the phone with MJ — who, despite being in Illinois, insist on using “aloha” and “Mahalo” in every conversation — and have been informed that the maximum repair cost is $49.95. We’re to send ’em to the MJ mother ship, and should expect a reconstituted set within a week or so.
Mahalo indeed.
It could easily happen. Five or so years ago, Danger released a very nice multifunction smart-ish phone exclusively tied to T-Mobile. It came with always-on Internet connectivity, and even a mobile AIM client. At first, the technorati were excited, but that feeling quickly cooled when folks realized that you never really own the Hiptop; T-Mobile and Danger had it so locked down that they alone could decide what kind of software you could run; they even retained the ability to remotely delete programs from “your” device. Consequently, the Danger went from being a potential huge hit with the geek crowd to being relegated to the Paris Hiltons of the world. We’re sure money was made on the Danger, but at the end of the day a huge amount of goodwill and potential was squandered because of carrier/manufacturer lockdown.
The lesson here is about control. Apple would do well to listen. Open the iPhone API and let a thousand developers bloom. That, plus cut-and-paste and real 3G connectivity, might convince Heathen Central to give it another look.
NIN have (has?) joined Radiohead in becoming completely independent and free of record labels.
730 days ago today, Mrs Heathen To Be became Mrs Heathen. Though we’ve been together since 2001, married really is different and better, and we can’t say enough how lucky we feel to be married to her. Our life is better in every conceivable way with her. Happy anniversary, baby.
So, we just watched this cute seal video, and it occurred to us that the reason we perceive 99% of wild mammals as “cute” is that we’re bigger than they are, so they don’t see us food.
Radley Balko is on the case again, this time exploring the strange career of Dr. Steven Hayne, the medical examiner used in 1,500 to 1,800 autopsies a year in our home state (the National Association of Medical Examiners says an ME should do no more than 250). Predictably, Dr. Hayne tends to find in favor of the prosecutors, science be damned:
Former Columbus, Miss., Police Chief J.D. Sanders has been trying for years to draw attention to Dr. Hayne. “There’s no question in my mind that there are innocent people doing time at Parchman Penitentiary due to the testimony of Dr. Hayne,” he says. “There may even be some on death row.”
[…]
Another medical examiner reviewed Dr. Hayne’s autopsy in a 1998 homicide and characterized his work as “near complete malpractice.” In that case, Dr. Hayne had determined that a woman had died of “natural causes.” The diagnosis was later changed to homicide by blunt force to the head. According to the medical examiner who performed the second autopsy, Dr. Hayne hadn’t even emptied the woman’s pockets, a standard autopsy procedure. No one has been prosecuted in the case. Dr. Hayne declined repeated requests from me to comment.
Dr. Hayne isn’t a board-certified forensic pathologist, at least as the term is understood by his peers. The American Board of Pathology is considered the only reputable certifying organization for forensic pathology. Dr. Hayne failed the board’s exam in the 1980s. He still testifies in court that he’s “board certified.” But that’s a reference to his membership in the American Academy of Forensic Examiners, which he has said publicly certified him without requiring him to take an exam.
It gets worse:
Mississippi law calls for a certified state medical examiner to oversee the process of shopping autopsies out, to ensure that they are conducted by reputable physicians. But Mississippi hasn’t had a state medical examiner since 1994. The last two people to hold the office actually tried to rein in Dr. Hayne, but met with considerable resistance. The most recent, Dr. Emily Ward, left after the state’s county coroners petitioned for her resignation. The state legislature has refused to fund the examiner’s office ever since.
“Dr. Ward came in here and tried to clean up the system,” says Andre de Gruy, who directs Mississippi’s Office of Capital Defense Counsel, the public defender office for death-penalty cases. “Hayne and the coroners got together and chased her out.”
It’s a clear example of what happens when nobody cares about conflicts of interest, and it’s railroading innocent people into jail.
The Sunday Times: The day the music industry died was the day Radiohead released their new album online, without a label, and for whatever anyone wanted to pay. We think they’re right.
We didn’t realize until reading this piece, btw, that Radiohead are currently unsigned; their prior contract expired, and they haven’t bothered signing up with anyone new. Can you say “disintermediation?”
Wanna take pinhole pix from inside your own mouth? Now you can.
Richard “Lord British” Garriott owns a Sputnik. It’s not been to space, obviously, but it is apparently one of the early “spare” cases. As such, it also lacks innards. But still: Sputnik.
Fred Clark lays it out pretty clearly:
Here’s the deal: Whatever the technical details of the case, whatever the particulars of the applicable immigration and customs laws, if you confiscate the entire life savings of a minimum-wage dishwasher, you’re doing something wrong.
And you’re an asshole.
I can’t help you. No one can help you. There is no escape clause, no excuse, no qualification, no mitigation. You have chosen this and it is done. You’re just an asshole.
Solid.
It’s wonderful what bad publicity can do.
Joe Peacock has an amusing internal monologue posted in re: some bonehead client requests. Recommended.
This time, he’s right about the irrational act of buying an iPhone if you want to, you know, actually own the hardware:
Buy it for what it is, or don’t buy it at all. Your choices don’t get any more granular than that. Apple has been unwaveringly clear that the iPhone is theirs. Not yours, not Ambrosia’s, not J. Random Hacker’s. You may own the hardware, but you only have a limited license to use the software, and an ongoing contract to use the network. If you don’t like those terms, your only recourse is to shop somewhere else to begin with.
By timing the deployment length of a National Guard unit so as to just barely fail to qualify the soldiers for the GI Bill. Nice.
The Lil’est Heathen is documented here. Enjoy.
Despite the stupid comments made by the Sony exec, the boneheads in the Duluth jury found in favor of the RIAA in the first-ever filesharing trial. There’s still likely to be an appeal, but the verdict simply defies all logic.
Microsoft is apparently selling DRM-free MP3s in their Zune store.
So, now we have iTunes/EMI doing it, eMusic doing it, Amazon doing it, Microsoft doing it, and Radiohead doing it. Even so, the music industry at large is still completely clueless, to the point that Techdirt just responded to a Viacom speech with a post titled “Viacom wrong on almost every thing”. Their list:
With that kind of decision making, it’s hard to see how they’re still in business — well, not really: they stay in business by raping musicians and such, but still.
Another fine represenative of the recording industry showed her wisdom to the world, byt eh way, by telling a bunch of whoppers in her testimony in the RIAA file-sharing trial. Again, it’s Techdirt with the story. Click through on both of these; they’re worth your time.
Apparently, suing their own customers has cost the RIAA an assload of money. Cool.
Copying a single song from a CD to an iPod.
These people are so doomed.
Listen to him: JWZ on Backups.
If you’re using a Mac, get SuperDuper. If you’re really geeky, try rdiff. We agree with his Windows advice, however.
All you need’s the quote: “[T]hey are going to have to pry this vibrator from my cold, dead hand.”
So, last night the accumulated Heathen tribe gathered at our Offsite Film, Drum, and Violin Headquarters for food and cinema; this week’s pick was The Science of Sleep.
Without really trying to, we’ve actually managed to track the intertwining careers of writer/director Michel Gondry and his sometime collaborator Charlie Kaufman. “Sleep” is a Gondry-only joint, but on two prior occasions Gondry has directed Kaufman scripts: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, which we (and all right-thinking people) loved, and Human Nature, which we’ve missed somehow. It doesn’t take a particularly astute observer to note Gondry’s interest in the subconscious and unconscious aspects of our minds.
Kaufman, with other directors, is responsible for such gems as Being John Malkovich, Adaptation, and Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, so it’s sort of fun to use these data points to plot out what constitutes Gondry+Kaufman, and what elements occur only in their solo work; a clear element in common is an interest in the idea of consciousness, both above and below the awareness water-line.
This game gets easier when one factors in Gondry’s short-form work in music videos, most famously with Bjork, for whom he did “Human Behavior” and (our favorite) Bachelorette. He’s also responsible for the Foo Fighters clip for Everlong, which includes a visual shared with Stephane’s dreams in “Science of Sleep.”
(Something we didn’t realize: Gondry directed David Chappelle’s Block Party, which only intensifies our desire to see it.)
In any case, Gondry has two more bits coming up, though neither involve Kaufman. Set for 2008 release is Be Kind Rewind, starring Jack Black and Mos Def. (Click through for a synopsis and you’ll understand our enthusiasm; squint a bit and you can still see Gondry’s obsession with perception and consciousness.) Following that, presumably, is the adaptation of Rudy Rucker’s Master of Space and Time, currently said to be “in development.”
For his part, Kaufman will direct his own work for the first time Synecdoche, New York, also in development.
We can’t wait.
Radiohead‘s much-ballyhooed approach to the release of their upcoming new record is precisely what the RIAA fears most. The bad news for them is that it’s going to happen more and more.
Briefly, as of 10 October, fans will be able to download a digital version of the record from their web site and pay any amount they wish, from nothing on up. A special edition of the album, which comes with two CDs, two heavyweight vinyl records, some extras, and the option to download as well, is on sale for about $80 (priced in pounds, so that’s subject to drift) and will ship in time for Christmas. It’s a one-two combo that the labels can’t match: the music is (nearly) free, but there’s a nice pile of extras that fans will line up to pay a premium for.
(Dear Intarwub: Please buy us the special edition for Christmas. KTHXBI.)
The James Randi Educational Foundation is turning its guns on the snake-oil salesmen in high-end audio, defying Pear Cable to prove that their $7,250 interconnects materially affect the sound of any stereo.
They, like Stereophile and countless psychics before them, will quietly back down and refuse Randi’s million dollar challenge.
Lake-dwelling, brain-eating amoeba blamed for 6 deaths. “Once infected, most people have little chance of survival. Some drugs have stopped the amoeba in lab experiments, but people who have been attacked rarely survive.”
(Link fixed)
So, um, moving to a DSLR means it’s easily possible to burn a GIG of disk space in a single weekend of shooting.
Yikes.
Well, boys, the day started normally enough with two game outcomes that warm our Heathen hearts: Charlie’s Irish dropped to 0 and 5 against the still-undefeated (yet unranked) Purdue, 33 to 19. They’re completely helpless, and will likely remain so for a while: the next three Notre Dame games are UCLA, #7 BC, and #2 USC. Welcome to the land of 0 and 8, Charlie. (They did manage to notch a passing TD this week, and (as we’ve said) no one can take that away from them.)
To add to this righteousness, we travel to the wilds of Illinois to see Joe Pa get whipped again, this time by Illinois to the tune of 27-20. This one gives the Illini their first win against a “ranked” team since 2001, though if anything ever deserved as asterisk in the annals of sport, it’s this distinction. Formerly ranked 21, the Lions dropped off the list on the “strength” of this loss.
These two may have been the only two “normal” outcomes all Saturday, since by now you’ve heard of the huge passel of upsets we saw. #3 OU got topped by Colorado; #7 Texas fell to KSU; and somehow Urban Meyer couldn’t get it done against Auburn. Another top-10 team, Rutgers, also fell (to unranked Maryland, 34-24), but that’s less surprising given the overall punyness of the Big East. The upset that almost happened was with USC, who only barely escaped unranked Washington 27-24. More on this later.
Comes now the bad news: Somehow, Saban managed to blow what should have been a win against the Seminoles, who walked away with a 21 to 14 win and their first-ever victory over the Tide. We reckon FSU and Bowden wanted it more, but it still bites — and, of course, it hurts the Nick Saban PointsPerMillion calculation. Our winning points total falls to 53 after deducting the 7 point margin here, so the new value is 1.656. Let’s get this value up, Nicky! Times a-wastin’!
Finally, the big news: The AP sees LSU in the top spot, dropping USC to #2, then Cal, Ohio State, Wisconsin, South Florida (!), BC, Kentucky, the fallen Gators (still the highest-ranked team with a loss), and Oklahoma. Texas falls to 19; Rutgers is in at 21. USAToday sees it a bit differently, but even there LSU’s only 30 points from the top spot (1483 vs. 1454).
Check out Pigroast 07.
Y’all welcome Layla Farmer, born this afternoon, just a few days early. (With Agent Triple-F, in hat, with beard.)
We were wholly unaware that “steampunk” existed as a musical genre, but it pleases us anyway. Via Warren Ellis, we find the amusing site of Abney Park, a steampunk band with an elaborate backstory, and an airship named Ophelia.
We’re certain the shows must involve a great deal of amusing stagework, but, alas, they’re in Seattle.
We had no idea of the depth of connection between the Crimson Tide and FSU coach (and Bear heir) Bobby Bowden.
Check out the story of Pedro Zapeta, who saved $59K, only to have the Feds snatch it and refuse to give it back, presumably on the ground that hey, he’s South American — must be a drug mule!
Jesus. Zapeta made errors — he’s illegal, and was unaware of the $10K cash issue — but the way our government is treating him is absurd and grotesque. He worked hard for his money, and now the only way he has any hope of getting it back depends on the pro bono kindness of strangers. Here’s a great bit:
Robert Gershman, one of Zapeta’s attorneys, said federal prosecutors later offered his client a deal: He could take $10,000 of the original cash seized, plus $9,000 in donations as long as he didn’t talk publicly and left the country immediately.
Zapeta said, “No.” He wanted all his money. He’d earned it, he said.
This one steals Doritos from inside stores.
Al Murray is a British comic who performs as though he were a pub landlord with a profound dislike for anything not British. Check him out.
Today’s Worse Than Failure is actually a meditation on the Mythical Business Layer in software; it’s a concept often hauled out in “enterprise” situations. Here’s a great quote, on the subsidary concept of a code-free “rules engine” supposedly set to encapsulate all the business logic:
Yes, I realize that the Enterprise Rules Engine — the ultimate example of a soft-coded business layer — has become my go-to example for bad software. But it’s for good reason. The ERE truly represents the absolute worst kind of software. It was as if its architects were given a perfectly good hammer and gleefully replied, neat! With this hammer, we can build a tool that can pound in nails.
We realize this post appeals to — and is understood by — a tiny fraction of our audience, but we’re pretty sure that tiny subset is nodding in furious agreement already. Don’t miss what they have to say on persistence, either; the Waterloo of any framework is typically the database, and it hasn’t escaped the notice of the author.
So, Vonage lost another ruling, which means we may end up having to change phone providers sometime.
Here’s what happened: Vonage made a success of VOIP precisely because it’s not an incumbent carrier. It has nothing to do with patents, and in fact if Vonage had a deeper bankroll we feel pretty sure they could prove that. Sprint, for its part, doesn’t even really care about the patents: they just want Vonage out of the marketplace precisely because Vonage did something they couldn’t or didn’t do: have success with VOIP.
As soon as Vonage goes under, if they fail, expect Sprint and the remaining oh-how-we-hate-’em telcos to offer some kind of crippled, locked-down, drastically less useful VOIP product that will cost more than Vonage’s offering. Further expect no one to enter the marketplace for fear of lawsuits from these telcos for quite some time.
As Techdirt put it in the link above:
[The incumbent carriers suing Vonage] were unable (and unwilling) to create the services that people wanted — and now they want to shut down the company that actually did innovate — and they’re likely to succeed. That’s not how the patent system is supposed to work.
Oh Danny Boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling, presented by the Leprechaun Brothers.
This reminds us of the previously noted excellent Muppet Matrix, and the previously unlinked excellent Pulp Muppets.
So, pregnant woman has coverage with Blue Cross in Kansas City. Said woman endures the heartbreak of a miscarriage. Said insurance company denies the claim on the grounds that “elective abortion” isn’t covered.
Woman verifies with hospital that the paperwork was coded correctly, and then discovers that, apparently, this branch of Blue Cross routinely denies coverage for miscarriages on these grounds. Shades of Rainmaker, anyone?
We’re hoping Consumerist stays on top of this, and that the actual media get involved soon.
Our cousin is still an idiot. At least he’s leaving the House.
Full text of letter, in case the Jackson paper loses it:
September 25, 2007
Pickering’s TV act would suppress artistic freedoms
Someone from the Department of Human Services needs to visit 3rd District U.S. Rep. Chip Pickering’s home immediately. His children are in danger. I am not exactly sure of the details, but apparently his household televisions are on at all hours of the day, switching uncontrollably to programs that would otherwise be locked out by a V-Chip.
Rep. Pickering has apparently exhausted his options and introduced the “Protecting Children From Indecent Programming Act.” This bill would make the FCC take action for any broadcast with even a single “obscene” word or image.
While I applaud Pickering’s efforts to act as my legal guardian, I already have a father, and he introduced me to an amazing tool in the battle against the television demons – the remote control. Amazingly enough, when faced with inappropriate programming, I can use this device to either turn off my television or change the signal in such a way that another “channel” is shown on the screen.
Certainly, he has tried the remote control before going so far as to introduce legislation aimed at suppressing artistic freedoms. I am positive he has even tried to manually turn the television off, set the Parental Password so his children would be safe to watch television while he apparently has plopped them in front of it and left them, and even gone so far as remove the televisions from his home.
In the interest of these poor children, something must be done to ensure they are no longer exposed to this obscenity that comes on television at hours past what most parents set as bedtime. Please. Won’t you think of the children?
Emily Evans
Hattiesburg
(No, we’re not kidding. His father is more (in)famous, but they’re both our cousins; our great-great-grandparents are (were) Chip’s great-grandparents. Thanks for the heads-up, Triple-F.)
Joey Devilla has put up (but did not compile) a fairly exhaustive side-by-side list of scenes from the Simpsons with their celluloid antecedents. Odds are you caught some of these, but we’ll bet dollars to donuts you didn’t catch them all.
Apple has made it abundantly clear that having unofficial software, or having unlocked the phone you spent $500 on, may well result in subsequent software updates turning your phone into an expensive paperweight, and you’ll be SOL on the warranty.
Let’s be clear: They’re doing this deliberately. It’s not a “it might happen” and it’s not a “whups! we didn’t realize 3rd party devs were using that!” kind of thing; they’re actively going to break your iPhone if you’ve put software on it they don’t like — which, at this point, means anything that it didn’t come with.
Fuck that. The 8525 we’re using may be clumsy and awkward, but at least it’s OURS. Open platforms uber alles.
Proof of Purchase, sort of like PostSecret but less depressing.
(MeFi.)
