The California Supremes have summarily declared all of San Francisco’s same-sex marriages null and void.
What you should know about copyright expiration
The British equivalent of the RIAA is having a fit, largely because copyright law is working as intended — meaning Elvis’ “That’s All Right” is about to pass into the public domain (in January, 2005) after a reasonable period of exclusive copyright (fifty years). They’d like very much for this not to happen, just as Disney has managed to keep Mickey locked up with well-timed copyright extensions for years. Read this for more about why this is bad.
What we knew, and when we knew it
Robert X. Cringley has some interesting things to say about a study the Department of Justice had done regarding sentencing guidelines, and what effect they have on crime. The study found that longer sentences actually increase crime, though, so the DOJ buried it, and never mind the consequences, because it’s more important, I suppose, to lock people up than to work for a healthier society.
I hate people.
Fun in the Sun Report
So, right now, it’s clear that 49 of the 50 states in our fair country are completely legitimate places to be, to drink, to watch people get married, etc.
We, of course, are in Florida. In Sarasota, actually. Theoretically, there’s a big wedding tomorrow, but Charley may have other plans. We’re waiting for the storm in a borrowed condo; we’ve got food, ice, towels, wireless Internet access, plus important shit like rum and beer. And, as I said, the plan is for there to be a wedding tomorrow, but the original location is now closed in will likely remain so given its location on the bay.
Thank you for flying Surreal Air. Make sure you check the lav for peepholes.
My friend Mike went to take a contract job in DC today. The flight was interesting.
Them Republicans just cain’t seem to keep their yaps shut
Or something. As you must be aware by now, over the weekend it looks like they burned another covert operative by being either careless or incompetant (it doesn’t look like there’s a revenge angle on this one). Bill Clinton made a great point (on Letterman last week) about the difficulties of gathering human intelligence in the Arab world when you’ve spend the previous 50 years trying to perfect the art of blending in behind the Iron Curtain, but surely we can do better than this.
On the other hand, perhaps this could be the problem.
In which we look into Dick Shelby’s past legislative obsessions
Had Sen. Shelby had his way during the Clinton years, he’d now be looking at a felony charge and jail time.
Sure, they’ve got torture, no free press, and the death penalty, but that’s liberation for you
Fafblog on recent Iraqi events, including the bizarre tail of an Oregon National Guard unit who found some Iraqi prisoners being “freedom tickled” by their newly-sovereign captors, intervened, and were told by their commander to “return the prisoners to their abusers and immediately withdraw.”
This, children, is how we spread freedom and democracy.
Why it’s good that we’re short of disposable income just now
Because we’d do shit like this.
Click. Just click. Turn your speakers on and click, for the love of all that’s holy.
Because, heretofore, posts about hirsute hookers on this board have been sorely lacking
According to a predictable source, Beasley, Canada now boasts the world’s first bigfoot hooker:
Fascinated by her incredible erotic powers, men are drawn to her like flies to honey. “Helen is over seven feet tall and covered with soft fur,” says frequent patron Jacques Barbette.
Well, North Korea may have missles and nukes, but at least the don’t have subs
Or, they didn’t until recently. GOP backer, Washington Times owner, and cult leader Sun Yung Moon has sold his ex-soviet submarines to Kim Jong-Il. Freaking out yet?
This just in: TNR’s Easterbrook is an ignorant gasbag
Brad DeLong takes Easterbrook to task for a particularly stupid editorial from The New Republic about how physics is “mumbo jumbo” on account of it not making any sense to him. Easterbrook also makes it abundantly clear that he knows little and understands less about the nature of light, electromagnetism, and gravity.
You know, when this sort of thing is easy to research — I mean, it’s not like Google’s hard to use, and there’s an awful lot of printed material on the subject geared toward a lay audience. Ignorance is one thing; remaining so out of spite or some sort of suspician of “booklearnin'” is yet another.
Abu Graib Gets Worse
We have not yet heard the worst of this story.
In January of this year, U.S. Army Maj. Gen. Anthony Taguba was ordered to investigate the actions of the military police at Abu Ghraib. The 53-page executive summary of his findings caused a sensation when it was leaked in April. The full report — 106 “annexes” composed of internal Army memos and e-mails, as well as sworn statements made by soldiers and detainees to the Army’s CID (Criminal Investigation Division) — shows the prison under siege and out of control. In violation of Army policy, Abu Ghraib was located in a war zone, where detainees and U.S. soldiers alike were under daily assault by mortars, rocket-propelled grenades and small-arms fire. Prisoners were regularly beaten, sodomized with broomsticks and police batons, terrorized by military attack dogs, and subjected to psychological torture, including at least one mock electrocution. Salon
Delayed Friday Distraction
Can you Shoot the Internet Cliche? Don’t hit the kittens!
Unfuckingbelievable
I’ve been sitting on this link for days trying to find a way to explain it without going apoplectic, but I’m not sure there is one. Fafblog handles some commentary in their own inimitable way, of course, but I’d really love for someone to explain how this administration can appose the proliferation of WMDs so vehemently — hey, we went to WAR on the SUSPICIAN that Saddam had ’em — and yet also oppose the use of weapons inspectors, insisting verificationw as too expensive, too intrustive, and couldn’t guarantee compliance:
Administration officials declined to explain in detail how they believed U.S. security would be harmed by creating a plan to monitor the treaty. Arms-control specialists reacted negatively, saying the change in U.S. position will dramatically weaken any treaty and make it harder to prevent nuclear materials from falling into the hands of terrorists. Seattle Times
At least this isn’t in Mississippi
An unabashed, proud racist will be running for Congress in Tennessee this fall as a Republican, since he won the primary.
“I’m Rick James, Bitch!”
Rick “Superfreak” James, icon of funk, dead at 56. Once famous for his music, in recent years he’s been more famous for (a) serving time for assault and (b) being memorably lampooned by Dave Chappelle, who may play James in a biopic next year.
We just plain can’t get enough
From Fafblog, we present the Legend of Benjamin Healy. A sample:
“They say no mortal woman was enough for him so he made one himself outta whiskey an liquors an ale,” says me. “An he loved her like a lumberjack made of eating loves a woman made of ham.”
Best. Blog. Evar.
We have a winner!
The Illinois GOP have selected Alan Keyes as their whipping boy, er, candidate to run against Barack Obama. As noted yesterday, Keyes does not now, nor has he ever, lived in Illinois; we don’t have a problem with this ourselves, but some people do:
I deeply resent the destruction of federalism represented by Hillary Clinton’s willingness to go into a state she doesn’t even live in and pretend to represent people there. So I certainly wouldn’t imitate it.
Know who said that? Yup: ALAN KEYES (Fox News, March 17, 2000; Chicago Trib story cites this here, use ih8logins/ih8logins to access). This should be fun to watch, in a taunting-the-afflicted sort of way. Josh Marshall has a fun post on the subject today as well. I’m still at a loss to figure out what, exactly, the Illinois GOP think they’re going to accomplish.
Veterans for Truth, or Veterans for the GOP. (Pick one.)
The GOP is going all-out with their “Swift Boat Veterans for Truth” group whose central message is that Kerry somehow fudged his service record and, by inference, those troublesome decorations. Trouble is, none of these guys actually served WITH Kerry (NYT link sure to rot). In a cite sure to irritate Edgar, MediaMatters has actual citations of their somewhat troublesome relationship with the truth. Joe Conason in Salon has more on the subject from a May editorial.
On the other hand, the men who stood with Kerry at the convention represented 9 of the 10 surviving members of his two boats, a fact noted in the Wall Street Journal, of all places (here, but paid subscription required).
The really bizarre point here is, however, that the GOP is working to say Kerry’s war record isn’t all that, when you’d think they’d be avoiding this issue like the plague, given Dubya’s “service” in Alabama.
Dept. of Birthdays
Today, August 5, is Chief NoGators/Heathen Legal Correspondent Triple-F’s birthday. We can’t tell you how old he is, but we CAN say it rhymes with “schwenty-nine”. (File foto)
Happy birthday, buddy. Have fun in Prague.
In which we discuss Republican game shows
This year’s seen the debut of perhaps the funniest reality show yet, something we here at Heathen are calling “Who Wants To Be Obama’s Bitch,” but which the GOP calls “find a candidate to replace Jack Ryan who didn’t try to fuck anyone in public.”
They’re down to two candidates, having gotten “no” from such political luminaries as Mike Ditka. Bachelor number one is Alan Keyes, who’s never actually, you know, lived in Illinois (be not vexed; he can move there by election day and everything’s kosher); bachelor number two is Andrea Barthwell, who has a few interesting items on her resume.
During her brief stint at the drug czar’s office one of her most noteworthy accomplishments seems to have been getting written up in a “hostile workplace memorandum” for “lewd and abusive behavior.” Talking Points Memo
The winner of this little contest gets to spend acres of cash to try and catch Democratic wunderkind and apparent real-deal Barack Obama, who has $10MM in the bank and was leading pretty-boy candidate Jack Ryan by a substantial margin before Ryan withdrew under RNC pressure. I suppose it would be too straightforward for them simply to cede the seat, but does anyone really think Obama can be beaten in November?
Don’t be a Dick.
Federal investigators have identified Alabama Sen. Richard Shelby as the source of a leak of classified information — that showed up on CNN. Way to go, Dick!
We’re sure this will get just as much play as the Berger story, natch.
This would be huge news if Cheney were a Democrat
Check out Billmon’s summary of the Halliburton investigation, and then try to convince yourself Cheney isn’t in it up to his beady little eyeballs.
(Josh Marshall has more.)
How to look even more like an idiot, by K. Harris
- Insist that, though you can’t be specific because it’s, you know, all secret and all, the Bush administration has prevented more than a hundred attacks against the US since 9/11.
- Get all cagey when officials in DC — and in one of the states you say has been protected — express dismay at your bizarre pronouncements.
- Finally, when called on it from all sides “express regret” without actually withdrawing anything.
Way to go, Harris! Now, if you could just master makeup in such a way that you no longer resembled a cross between a demented clown, Tammy Fay, and a hooker, well, you’d be on to something.
Steve Buscemi at the DNC
In which we receive fan mail
No, really:
So, I was working on putting out my own CD and I had decided that it would be called Miscellaneous Heathen based on a picture my wife took of some religious wacko’s protest sign. [Ed: he means this guy, captured in this foto by Tom Tomorrow.] I decided that it might be a good idea to register MiscellaneousHeathen.com or MiscHeathen.com, so I looked them up and found to my dismay that someone had beat me to it. I hated you for having the temerity to think of it way before me. But then I checked out your website and all that hate floated away… and I could hear only birds singing… and see nothing but hearts and teddy bears and, of course, unicorns flying over brightly lit rainbows. In other words, I love your site or blog or whatever you call it. Because of you I have now seen the Shining in 30 Seconds (and performed by Bunnies). And I have found great sources of ACTUAL NEWS. Unbelievable. O.K. — lovefest over. Don’t worry, I won’t send Catherine Zeta Jones threatening letters because of you or anything. Sincerely,
John Hoskinson
www.JohnHoskinson.com
Granted, it’s only fanmail because he wanted the domain at first, but he does give us much grist for the slogan mill, like “Heathen: Unicorns flying over brightly lit rainbows” and such.
It was with some trepidation that we checked out Mr. Hoskinson’s audio samples, but we’re awful glad we did. We like the sound of his record, and we particularly enjoy the name he’s given it. All Hail the Heathen Brotherhood!
Sarah Hepola lost someone
This is not a happy story, but it is a good story, and given the top entry on her weblog, it’s safe to say it’s not fiction.
“I am feelin a little uncomfortable with the level of security here Giblets … I’m gonna go someplace less Gibwatchy.”
JWZ gets all the good pix.
Check this out; heretofore, “really big geode” meant “oh, the size of a basketball” not “sit inside it.”
As it turns out the DoJ may actually be the RIAA’s stooge
Department of Justice attorney David Israelite told BusinessWeek that music “priacy” constitutes a national security risk. Oh boy.
Ah, the “liberal media”
While the mediascape was all atitter over the possibility that Clinton Adminstration National Security Adviser Sandy Berger took or destroyed some classified documents, no one appears to be in a hurry to point out that he’s been completely cleared of any wrongdoing.
The sky is falling! The sky is falling!
Yesterday, we were accused of being overly cynical when we opined that we thought the new “terror alert” had much more to do with politics — and with Bush’s troublesome poll numbers — than with any real intelligence suggesting any increased danger in the northeast.
This morning, it’s widely reported that the information underlying this alert is primarily from before 9/11.
Much of the information that led the authorities to raise the terror alert at several large financial institutions in the New York City and Washington areas was three or four years old, intelligence and law enforcement officials said on Monday. They reported that they had not yet found concrete evidence that a terror plot or preparatory surveillance operations were still under way.
Fuck.
Why Tivo Has To Ask Permission to Innovate
Think we live in a free market society? Think again.
“You’re asking me to believe in thinking meat!”
Very short, very funny, science-fiction story about a potential first contact with an alien race. But from their side. Just read it.
Dept. of Truth in Advertising
Adrants is hosting some fine spoofs of DeBeers diamond ads. Enjoy.
How the GOP represents “mainstream” values
- Bush camp insists on knowing race of Arizona Star photographer assigned to cover Cheney’s appearance at a Pima Country rally. Charming.
- Rumors — from more than one source, apparently — have Jerry Falwell giving the opening prayer at the Convention. In case you’ve forgotten, Patriot Boy gives us a list of some of his better quotes.
It’s like a trifecta of weird
Today, we present three odd things:
- A Flash game invovling Scarecrows and ravens;
- Some monkeys; and
- At least 240 dollars worth of puddin’ (awwwww, yeah).
(Nos. 2 and 3 via Agent M)
‘Cause in Kansas, Grandmas NEED Taserin’!
A cop in Kansas city didn’t like that a 60-odd year old grandmother honked her horn, so he tasered her. And they wonder why people don’t trust the police.
Another reason we love Jon Stewart and The Daily Show
Stewart hosted a coffee for journalists at the convention. Then he let them have it:
Stewart, host of The Daily Show on cable’s Comedy Central, invited reporters for coffee Monday at the start of the Democratic convention. It was billed as an early morning yuk-fest, but it wasn’t all that funny. At least not for the reporters, who were the subject of his monologue. In a poll this year by the Pew Research Center for the People and the Press, 21% of viewers ages 18 to 29 named The Daily Show and Saturday Night Live as places where they get news about the presidential campaign. Does it bother Stewart that so many potential voters are relying on a joke show for information? “I’m concerned about the incredible number of people who say they get the news from you guys,” Stewart shot back. Sensitive scribes scowled. The tightly wrapped comic’s harangue included a blast at the media’s “absolute acceptance of being stage-managed” and an attack on Washington as a city of “absolute self-delusion and arrogance.” When Howard Kurtz, who covers the news media for The Washington Post and CNN, protested, Stewart stopped him with, “Your network is silly.” Stewart blames boring coverage for low voter turnout. “We have wrung every ounce of inspiration out of the process because we are parsing strategy,” he said. He wouldn’t say how often he votes or whether he’s registered with a party. In the end, Stewart apologized for his own vehemence. He said that’s the way he and his staff begin the mornings when they are writing their show. “We spend our day trying to take the anger down and trying to turn up the volume of the humor.” USA Today/Kathy Kiely
Finally, someone slaps these lazy fucks around and tells them to do their job. It’ll do no good, but at least it’s been said.
In which something unusual happens
We here at Heathen Central enjoy the gadgets, the toys, the geegaws, the technological marvels. We have several computers, half a dozen dead PDAs, two iPods, a Tivo, three kinds of wireless phones, and a device devoted to the deep-frying of WHOLE LIVE GOATS. You know the drill; certain Other Household Members have even opined — blasphemy! — that we should get rid of some of this crap, but so far we’ve kept it all safe.
This is all a long way of saying that it took us COMPLETELY BY SURPRISE that this Other Household Member insisted this morning that we procure, with all speed, another gadget: an XM satellite radio. Why, you ask? Well, because NPR-exile Bob Edwards is getting a show set to run against Morning Edition (delicious!), and we miss him.
‘Nuff said; off we went to the local non-asshole retailer where we bought one of these (~ $140 walking out the door). This particular device is a fine choice for flexibility as well; right out of the box, it’s ready to use in the car (via an FM transmitter), but a home kit is available (free for now) that includes the bits you need to hook it directly to your home stereo (really just another antenna, a 6V power adapter, and a mini-to-RCA cable; it’s got normal jacks for power and line-out). Service is a reasonable $9 a month.
We’ve only have it an hour or so, but already we’ve heard more cool shit than you’ll get in six months from any dozen Clear Channel stations. The X-Country channel is particularly fine, free as it is of Nashville taint — think Gourds, Billy Joe Shaver, Bob Dylan, and Joe Ely, all of which have been played in the last 15 minutes. It probably doesn’t hurt that this channel is hosted by the Last of the Full Grown Men, the Idol of Idle Youth, Webb Wilder, either. And this is just ONE channel of 68 or so available, virtually none of which play the pablum that now dominates the FM dial (unless you live in range of KGSR). We’re actually looking forward to our next long car trip; anybody who spends any time in the car needs one of these things. Seriously.
(We were just kidding about the goats.)
We think of ourselves as observant, but somehow we missed this
Ever hear of a 1970s advertising “expose” book called “Subliminal Seduction?” I think the people at Dodge have. Or, at least, somebody at their branding firm is having a grand time at their expense.
In case the link rots, here are the salient images:
To quote the original site, “I linked the Dodge emblem (on the right) to their site in case you want to buy a truck.”
News from the Bug World
As it turns out, doodlebugs (a.k.a. “rolly-pollys”) come in four sizes: small, medium, large, and OH MY SWEET LORD. Fortunately, the latter appear to be confined to very, very deep water, so we’re safe.
For now.
Dept. of Wow
Apollo Archive has some really, really fine pictures taken during the moon shots 30-odd years ago. Take a peek.
Games from an adult perspective
This is a repost from /., but it’s worth reading anyway: Designing Games for the Wage Slave.
Just go read it
Larry Lessig takes Bill O’Reilly to task in this open letter pointing out O’Reilly’s difficult relationship with what most people think of as “truth.”
Dept. of What the HELL?
The Bush administration has moved to block lawsuits by consumers against drug makers when those drugs were approved by the FDA. This must be what they mean by “tort reform:” elminating the ability of wronged parties to sue for damages. We’re pretty sure this is a bad idea, but we must admit that the sheer balls involved in doing YET ANOTHER favor for Big Pharma after the Medicare drug bill is probably worthy of note. Or something.
In which we point out the value of critical thinking
An opinion piece in Design News by Dan O’Dowd asserts, rather blindly, that Linux and open source software represents a national security risk when used in critical applications because some of the code comes from foreign programmers who might slip in some sort of trojan horse that goes undetected until it’s too late.
Leaving aside just exactly how unlikely this is — code is examined by maintainers pretty rigorously, and the sheer number of eyes involved, not to mention testing, strongly suggests that such a backdoor wouldn’t make it to official releases — let’s examine who O’Dowd is, and what he may have at stake here.
Actually, we don’t even have to look far: the article bills him as the CEO of a company called Green Hills Software which makes — wait for it — embedded systems software, an area where Linux is making substantial inroads. We trust that this makes clear precisely how trustworth Mr. O’Dowd is on this point.
“I have a very bad feeling about this”
Cassini has seen something interesting. No word yet on the presence or absence of Alderaan.