Everyone Berenger knows is turning into a rhinoceros.

Rhino Infernal Bridegroom opens Eugene Ionesco’s Rhinoceros tonight; you should go see it.

Ionesco’s absurdist riff on conformity, alienation, and, well, pachyderms is an awful lot of fun to watch. Really, what’s not to like about people turning into rhinos? This production is the first dramatic piece directed by IBP founding member Tamarie Cooper, and she’s done a fine, fine job. Troy Schulze and Kyle Sturdivant turn in truly standout performances, but the whole cast is strong in material that’s not by any stretch easy. It’s well worth your time; I promise it’s not too weird.

Shows happen at 8:00 Thursday ($10), Friday ($12), and Saturday ($15) nights through December 13 (no show on Thanksgiving). The special opening-weekend rate, good only on the 21st and 22nd, is $5.99; you can’t beat that.

The Axiom is at 2524 McKinney, behind/east of George R. Brown Convention Center. For reservations, call IBP at (713) 522-8443.

Dept. of Cool OS X Software

I’m a clutter person. This is not news to anyone who knows me. It’s ordered clutter, mostly, but sometimes not. This extends to my digital environment as well as my physical one; in addition to scraps of paper on my actual desk, I use a program called Stickies to mimic the behavior of Post-Its on my computer desktop.

Okay, make that “mimic the behavior of LOTS AND LOTS of Post-Its.”

The problem with Stickies is, well, it’s very basic. You can set color and font, and you can minimize each note down to a single line, but there’s no way to group related notes, or view only a certain set, or make sub-notes, or anything like that. Real organization is almost impossible with more than a few notes.

This fuels the clutter, and in a bad way; I have several notes that include include arcane command lines for doing this or that on our production machines, or for constructing elaborate SQL statements, for example, but they’re mixed in with notes listing books I want to remember to read, or links I should visit, directions to people’s houses not yet transferred to my Palm, or even half-written posts for this very weblog.

Yesterday, though, I found VoodooPad, a new and very inexpensive OS X tool ($19.95). The description on the site was very promising, so I downloaded a test version limited to 15 pages per file. Fair enough, I started playing. A VoodooPad document is a sequence of linked pages, which makes it very, very easy to organize little bits of information on an ad hoc basis. Creating a link is dead easy (I’m honestly not sure how it could be easier). I went from experimenting to actively moving my Stickies into it in about 2 minutes; by the time I hit the limit, there was no doubt I was giving them the twenty bucks, and now I don’t have fifty-eleven Stickies on my desktop anymore.

If you’re on OS X, DEFINITELY check this out. (Mohney, I’m talkin’ to you, too; it’s sort of like a hypertext authoring tool, but much easier to deal with.)

Not that I expect much of you watch FoxNews

The Murdoch-Media is apparently all aflutter over a memo supposedly establishing once and for all that Saddam and Osama were in cahoots, and have been for years, and that we’ve known it all along. Predictably, Murdoch’s machine is all over this, though the rest of the media have essentially ignored the story, and for good reason.

Why? Well, rather than explain it all again here, I’ll point you to our friends at Talking Points Memo (that post and this one)and Slacktivist, who enumerate a wealth of reasons why this isn’t the slam dunk it may appear to be. For one thing, even the Pentagon is saying it’s not proof of a link.

Either you know who he was, or you don’t

But either way, read this Wired article about Philip K. Dick.

Dick, who died in 1982, was something of a cult figure until very recently. However, once Hollywood started to accumulate some success with his work, he became dramatacally less obscure. He’s the science fiction author who wrote the stories upon which Blade Runner (novel, “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?”), Total Recall (short story, “We Can Remember It For You Wholesale”), and The Minority Report (short story of the same name) were based. There have been others, and there’s more coming.

Bush to Mass. Court: Drop Dead

Bush has already commented on the Massachusetts Supreme Court ruling that struck down that state’s same-sex marriage ban:

“Marriage is a sacred institution between a man and a woman,” Bush said in a statement released shortly after he arrived in London for a state visit. He said the ruling by the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court “violates this important principle.” “I will work with congressional leaders and others to do what is legally necessary to defend the sanctity of marriage,” he said. Salon coverage

Tom DeLay (R-Tx-Weasel) had this to say, where (unlike Bush) he openly advocates a Constitutional Amendment banning same-sex marriage:

When you have a runaway judiciary, as we obviously have, that has no consideration for the Constitution of the United States, then we have available to us through that Constitution (a way) to fix the judiciary.” Ibid

Huh? Where in our Constitution does it deal with marriage, exactly?

The hardline conservatives would have us all rally against gay marriage, because it’s apparently very important that we control what other people do. I’m deeply confused by this; it seems to me to be a blatent case of unequal access to government services for vague and artificial reasons. I’ve no idea how a heterosexual couple might suffer if their neighbors were a married gay couple; to deny them that is simply absurd. Not only that, shouldn’t governmental regulation of marriage fall outside the party-of-small-government’s jurisdiction?

Fortunately, the Massachusetts court majority agrees with me, and not with Antonin “If it were up to me, sodomy would still be a crime” Scalia, et. al.:

Recognizing the right of an individual to marry a person of the same sex will not diminish the validity or dignity of opposite-sex marriage, any more than recognizing the right of an individual to marry a person of a different race devalues the marriage of a person who marries someone of her own race. If anything, extending civil marriage to same-sex couples reinforces the importance of marriage to individuals and communities. That same-sex couples are willing to embrace marriage’s solemn obligations of exclusivity, mutual support, and commitment to one another is a testament to the enduring place of marriage in our laws and in the human spirit. Ibid

Salon has additional coverage as well, focusing in particular on how gay marriage may well become the major domestic issue of the ’04 Presidential race.

Dept. of Things You Can’t Do with Windows

Mac OS X, like all Unix-related operating systems, is terribly, terribly stable. To wit:

[Yakland:~] chet% uptime
12:23PM  up 47 days, 46 mins, 4 users, load averages: 0.14, 0.13, 0.19

Yup. Up and running with no reboots for any reason for a month and a half.

“But Chet, what about your applications?”

[Yakland:~] chet% ps -aux | grep Safari
chet  7965   3.3  9.4   747212  49384  ??  S    10Nov03 161:43.13 /Applications/Safari.app
chet  9993   0.0  0.0     1116      4 std  R+   12:23PM   0:00.00 grep Safari
[Yakland:~] chet% ps -aux | grep BBEdit
chet  2962   0.0  3.6   239568  18876  ??  S    10Oct03  93:37.31 /Applications/BBEdit.app
chet  9995   0.0  0.0     1116      4 std  R+   12:23PM   0:00.00 grep BBEdit

The date column is what you want to look at; Safari, easily the best browser I’ve yet used, has been running for better than a week. The real standout, though, is BBEdit, which is where I spend most of my time: it’s been running since October 10th. Try that with Word.

Things I Learned at Carl and Joy’s Wedding

  • A martini ice sculpture is a deceptively evil thing, and joins my car in the list of things we may describe as “a bad idea, done very very well.”
  • When the chips are down, my ex-girlfriend is more than happy to help Erin with emergency dress adjustments & repair.
  • “Fuck ’em and feed ’em fish heads” is the sort of thing I should probably say more often.
  • It’s possible to go to a reception, not dance with your girlfriend, and somehow not get into trouble. It must be a very, very good reception, though.
  • La Colombe d’Or will throw your sorry drunk asses out at half past two if you’re so loud you keep the other guests awake, even if the set of sorry drunk asses includes those belonging to the bride and groom.
  • Voice mail messages left by the groom on your cell phone at about that time in re: the location of the after-party and his own plans for the immediate future can be a source of great amusement at breakfast the next day.
  • One half of the wedding couple singing to the other half needn’t be awkward or tacky; in fact, it can be beautiful, moving, and hilarious all at once. Especially if the groom took 7 years to propose, and the bride sings “At Last” with a full swing band backing her up.
  • I cannot drink like I could in college, even if several college friends are here. Maybe that should be “especially.”
  • A black tie wedding affords guests the opportunity to retain some dignity upon being ejected from ritzy hotel bars at 2:30AM because, hey, we may be drunk and loud, but at least we look good.
  • It is handy to have attended college with an opera-singing voice major willing to perform at your wedding, as Carl’s friend Julie did.
  • A member of the groom’s party should always have a kit including:
    1. Painkillers
    2. Heartburn remedy
    3. Breath mints
    4. Contact lens solution, if appropriate
    5. Bourbon
    6. Lint brush
    You could be surprised at how many of these prove useful. Trust me.
  • In a pinch, it is possible to get by with only #5.

and

  • There’s just about nothing so cool as seeing two dear friends fall in love and get married. Congratulations again, guys.

Someone up there really hates the Power Station

Unless you live under a rock, you know Robert Palmer shuffled off this mortal coil back in September. With the passage Wednesday of drummer Tony Thompson (formerly of Chic, and then a very much in-demand session player), the only surviving Power Station members are, well, the least musically interesting: those two guys who were in Duran Duran. He was 48; renal cell cancer got him.

Thompson got what might be the rock drummer’s gig of a lifetime in 1985, when the remaining members of Led Zeppelin drafted him to fill in for John Bonham in their Live Aid appearance.

Even so, I reckon them Taylor boys oughta be careful. Seat belts, food tasters, etc. And be careful of vomit. You can’t dust for vomit.

Have they no shame?

Bush has called on Democrats to stop the ugly politics” at work in their 30-hour filibuster.

This, of course, from the head of an administration that:

  • has used 9/11 for political gain for 2 years;
  • leaked the name of a CIA operative because her husband disagreed with the President on WMDs in Iraq;
  • that is bent on dismantling social programs while creating enormous tax breaks for the rich;
  • continues to use the “war on terror” as an excuse for just about anything, including a de facto suspension of habeas corpus;
  • characterized dissent as unAmerican (“you’re either with us or against us”);
  • is spending every dime it can get its hands on and more despite being from the “fiscally responsible” party;
  • used 9/11 as an excuse to go to war in Iraq, risking and losing hundreds of American lives for nebulous gain, and pissing off just about every ally we have in the process; and
  • seems bent on stuffing every Federal bench with folks somewhere to the right of Pat Buchanan, and without the customary review by the American Bar Association, despite having the thinnest of majorities in the Senate and holding office based on a vote of 5 to 4.

So, yeah, I’d say “ugly politics” is a problem, but I’m pretty sure this problem is on your own side of the aisle, George.

SCOTUS to Hear Secret 9/11 Cases

Justice, et. al., have insisted on a number of secret hearings and trials in the wake of 9/11. Some of these cases are finally headed to the Supremes for review, as the Christian Science Monitor reports. The primary case involves a man identified only as MKB, a waiter in south Florida detained by INS and questioned by the FBI. Secrecy is anathema to democracy, period. If you’re not scared yet, read this:

MKB v. Warden is the first indication that the Justice Department is extending its total secrecy policy to proceedings in federal courts dealing with habeas corpus – that is, an individual’s right to force the government to justify his or her detention.

Until somebody shows me different, I continue to view John Ashcroft and his Department of “Justice” as a far bigger threat to American freedoms than Saddam Hussein or Osama bin Laden. Over two years after the towers fell, we’re still doing the terrorists’ work for them as we allow our freedoms to be dismantled in the name of “security.” Remember what Ben Franklin said about trading one for the other, right?

They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty or safety.

How they handle dissent in Jacksonville

A group of anti-war veterans were ejected from the Veteran’s Day parade despite being paid, registered participants. The stated reason? They’re anti-war. Wow. The parade organizer says the police wanted ’em out, but the cops deny it.

Way to go, Jacksonville. Please reread the First Amendment and get back to us; marginalizing dissent is just about the most UNpatriotic thing I can think of.

Dept. of Small Gripes

There is no way I can complain about my housekeeper’s new assistant storing our flatware incorrectly — e.g., she cannot seem to differentiate between dinner and salad forks, or between tea and soup spoons, nor has it dawned on her why the drawer has four such compartments (she blithely fills two with assorted spoons, and the other two with assorted forks) — without sounding like an asshole, is there?

Yet another story the “liberal media” is ignoring

The Toledo Blade — and independent, family owned paper — ran a four-part series last month uncovering perhaps one of our bleakest military episodes: the war crimes of the Tiger Force unit in Vietnam. Briefly, in 1967, this unit went on a seven-month killing spree that was by no means confined to “enemy combatants;” they killed unarmed men, women, and children. Salon:

The paper also uncovered for the first time that a secret four-year Army investigation had concluded that 18 members of Tiger Force had committed war crimes, but no charges were ever brought. Instead, the investigation was simply filed away in 1975, during Donald Rumsfeld’s first run as secretary of defense.

Given this, you’d think the story would be all over the national press. Today, Salon wonders why this Pulitzer contender isn’t on a TV near you.

Another great American industry, falling on hard times

Is it regressive taxation doing them in? Nope. How about all those jobs running off to China and wherever else they’re going? Nope, not that either.

No, the problem with good old American smut peddlin’ is that old print boys can’t seem to keep (it) up with the Internet, since the dirty bookstore is now effectively inside your computer. After 35 years, Al Goldstein’s Screw has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection, figuring reorganization may allow him to stay a going concern. More famously, the elder Bob Guccione took those same steps recently, and Guccione himself has stepped down as CEO of Penthouse International (he remains the editor, natch). Their circulation has dropped by nearly half, down to 575k from nearly a million. Even stalwart Playboy is feeling the pinch, though they’re in better shape than these two.

That, at least, should be enough to keep the fundies irritated.

“See, Free Speech is an American thing, an y’all are FOREIGNERS.”

White House security officials are demanding that Scotland Yard effectively shut down central London for Bush’s three day visit later this month.

American officials want a virtual three-day shutdown of central London in a bid to foil disruption of the visit by anti-war protestors. They are demanding that police ban all marches and seal off the city centre. But senior Yard officers say the powers requested by US security chiefs would be unprecedented on British soil. While the Met wants to prevent violence, it is sensitive to accusations of trying to curtail legitimate protest.

(Via BoingBoing, who appear to finally have a stable server.)

Ouch.

This has been passed around a bunch, but it’s still funny:

The consecration of Gene Robison as bishop of the New Hampshire Diocese of the Episcopal Church is an affront to Christians everywhere. I am just thankful that the church’s founder, Henry VIII, and his wife Catherine of Aragon, and his wife Anne Boleyn, and his wife Jane Seymour, and his wife Anne of Cleves, and his wife Katherine Howard, and his wife Catherine Parr are no longer here to suffer through this assault on traditional Christian marriage. Paul Emmons, West Chester University

Teaching Kids to be Compliant and Docile in South Carolina

A high school in South Carolina conducted a drug sweep with local officers — who entered the school with guns drawn, and restrained some students face down on the floor for the duration of the raid. CNN and CBS News are also on the story.

They found nothing beyond the suspicions of K-9 officers that some backpacks had at some point had drugs in them. Or liver treats, I guess. No arrests were made.

Apparantly, “avoiding the surveillance cameras” was one of the things that tipped the administration off to the enormous amount of drug activity in the school. Think carefully about that: it’s basically the “if you’ve got nothing to hide, then why worry about privacy?” argument, and now they’re teaching it in high schools. Good God.

Time Revises History

Back in 1998, former President George H. W. Bush and Brent Scowcroft published a piece in Time called “Why We Didn’t Remove Saddam.” It contained several points that continue to apply today, 12 years after Bush’s famously secong-guessed decision not to roll to Baghdad after ejecting Iraq from Kuwait.

Well, the article — often cited by war opponents in the run up to the new invasion — has been removed from the Time web site. Not only that; the archived table of contents for the issue in question no longer lists the article.

Fortunately, the folks at the Memory Hole have a copy, along with a scan of the original magazine pages. I suppose Time could insist it be removed on copyright grounds, but that would just be creepy, wouldn’t it?

Well, here’s a really, really bad idea

“How about we let the U.N. run the Internet?”

Well, dictatorships would love it, but the rest of us, well, not so much. The net has thrived on the dyanmic ad-hocracy that runs it; anything that puts control in the hands of governments is bound to fuck it up. There’s a (shelved) plan on the table, so the idea is out there; let’s make sure it never happens.

If he’d been as clear and compelling as this three years ago, I’d still be posting about funny web sites.

MoveOn has the text of a speech given by Al Gore yesterday. Some choice quotes:

[F]or the first time in our history, American citizens have been seized by the executive branch of government and put in prison without being charged with a crime, without having the right to a trial, without being able to see a lawyer, and without even being able to contact their families. President Bush is claiming the unilateral right to do that to any American citizen he believes is an “enemy combatant.” Those are the magic words.ÊIf the President alone decides that those two words accurately describe someone, then that person can be immediately locked up and held incommunicado for as long as the President wants, with no court having the right to determine whether the facts actually justify his imprisonment. Now if the President makes a mistake, or is given faulty information by somebody working for him, and locks up the wrong person, then itÕs almost impossible for that person to prove his innocence Ð because he canÕt talk to a lawyer or his family or anyone else and he doesnÕt even have the right to know what specific crime he is accused of committing. So a constitutional right to liberty and the pursuit of happiness that we used to think of in an old-fashioned way as ÒinalienableÓ can now be instantly stripped from any American by the President with no meaningful review by any other branch of government. How do we feel about that? Is that OK?

There’s also a fine quote from the Israeli high court in 1999:

This is the destiny of democracy, as not all means are acceptable to it, and not all practices employed by its enemies are open before it.ÊAlthough a democracy must often fight with one hand tied behind its back, it nonetheless has the upper hand. ÊPreserving the Rule of Law and recognition of an individualÕs liberty constitutes an important component in its understanding of security.ÊAt the end of the day they (add to) its strength.

Just a reminder, dear readers. Just a reminder.

It’s a single source, but certainly seems plausible

A Marine Corps Intelligence Analyst may have been forced out of the service because he has “liberal views.”

I know the military gets to play by its own rules, but this seems absurd. Well, only sort of, now that I think about it; this is also the military that discharged six Arabic linguists last year because, you know, they’re gay, and never mind that whole “we have a shortage of Arabic expertise” thing.

Goodbye, Greymatter…

…Hello, Blosxom.

For lots of reasons, not the least which being my tendency to tweak shit, I’ve moved Miscellaneous Heathen to another new system. If you’re the sort who keeps score on these things, this makes our third since spring, 2001. My “Some Arrant Knaves I Know” mailing list became the initial, Blogger-driven version; then, in July, 2001, I switched to the more tweak-friendly and stable Greymatter.This isn’t a reflection on Greymatter per se (though GM did seem to have trouble rebuilding all 650+ entries without timing out); it’s more a question of right tools. Noah Grey has moved on to his “real” career (photography) and is no longer maintaining Greymatter, which means updates and improvements are unlikely. On the other hand, Blosxom is a community effort centered around a simple core application plus a growing body of plug-ins that seem to Just Plain Work. It also renders all the pages dynamically, which means no more rebuilding pages when I tweak the templates.

None of this matters to 90% of the Heathen Public, of course. In the event you do care about this sort of thing, I have a Greymatter-to-Blosxom + WriteBack Perl script you may want; I could find no such thing on the net, so I had to build my own.

What’s in a name?

So earlier today, an astute reader noted there there exists another Miscellaneous Heathen weblog, over on Blogspot, at http://miscellaneousheathen.blogspot.com. Her site wasn’t too similar to ours here, but the name thing was a little odd, and we’re kind of attached to being the only Miscellaneous Heathen weblog around.

After being needlessly flip about her in a reply to a comment this morning (since redacted, and for which I have apologized), I decided to email her and ask if she’d mind changing her blog name. Hers was 2 months old in its current incarnation, but longtime Heathen know we’ve been using this name since scandals meant “blow jobs” and not “manufactured casus bellli.”

Gennifer was nothing but gracious, and agreed immediately to change her site’s name. If you somehow arrived here looking for her site, or you just want to read funny stuff of another stripe, head over to Unsweet, hosted at Blogspot. I get the idea she’s some sort of TV writer person, and that’s got to be a gold mine for material. Thanks again, Gennifer, for understanding our unnatural attraction to the this particular oddball phrase.