Fuck Spam

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So in looking for the old entries referenced below, we realized just how awful the comment spam problem had become here. So we did something about it.

As we’re not the first to notice the problem, a quick search revealed the existence of Scrub, a perl script designed to remove comment spam from Blosxom/writeback comments via user-supplied regexps. It won’t solve the whole problem, but it’ll got a long way down that road — especially since we’ve cron’d the execution of said script.

For this to work, though, a few words will become off limits in the comments — but unless you’re aching to talk about incest, viagra, cialis, etc., I don’t think we’ll have a problem.

However, one new rule may bite some of you: no links. You can put in an address, but you can’t make it a link.

Dept. of Potentially Happy Endings

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A year ago, we pointed out that, well, Hollywood types tend to be evil goatfuckers. This is no surprise, of course, but the particular evil this time was the shelving of Paul Schrader’s prequel to The Exorcist, and the hiring of dismal hack Renny Harlin to complete the film.

Harlin’s version (Exorcist: The Beginning) came and went, and what critical notice it received was uniformly damning. It was, by all accounts, among the worst things ever committed to celluloid. And then something interesting happened.

The powers that be decided to release Schrader’s version, too. It’s called Dominion, and it opened last weekend. (Astute readers will recall that we suggested this might happen last year.)

Via MoveOn.org

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Yeah, it’s cut-and-past posting, but for a good cause. Read and do.

Subject: Please sign emergency petition to save our courts Hi! I just signed MoveOn PAC’s emergency petition to stop the “nuclear option” the far right wing’s plan to seize absolute power to stack our courts -Ð and I hope you will sign too. Starting Monday, the petition will be delivered straight to Congress every three hours until the final vote, and many of our comments will be read aloud on the Senate floor. Please sign right now at: http://www.moveonpac.org/nuclear Why is this an emergency? This Tuesday, the Senate will vote on Republican Leader Bill Frist’s “nuclear option” to break the rules of the Senate and give the Republican Party absolute control over appointing federal judges. For 200 years the minority’s right to filibuster has kept our courts fair, by making sure that federal judges needed to get at least some support from both sides of the aisle before they were given life time appointments. If Frist eliminates the filibuster, his next step would be to force far right partisan judges onto the powerful U.S. Courts of Appeals. The real targets, however, are the four seats on the Supreme Court likely to become vacant in the next four years. With that much power on the Supreme Court, the far right could strike down decades of progress on labor rights, environmental protections, reproductive rights, and privacy. The “nuclear option” will live or die by a final vote, probably on Tuesday, and the vote is still way too close to call. There are at least 6 moderate Republicans still on the fence and only 3 more votes needed to win. If we can get enough of our voices into congress and into the streets in the next 72 hours, we can still save our courts. Please take a minute to join me and sign the emergency petition today. http://www.moveonpac.org/nuclear Thanks!

For more on the context of judicial filibusters, check out Rude Pundit today.

Heathen Reviews “Revenge of the Sith”

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So, last night at midnight, I accompanied my friend, business partner, and boss (one guy) to the first local screening of Lucas’ latest fuck-you to his fans. Our review follows.

Sweet CHRIST Lucas, would have been too much to ask for you not NOT FUCK THIS ONE UP, TOO?

What the hell were you thinking with that bullshit Frankenstein scene — a scene that reaches its shockingly awful nadir with a melodramatic “Noooooooooooooooooo!” from the newly-reconstituted Vader upon hearing his brides’ fate. Which, fortunately, almost certainly frees us from the possibilty of “Bride of the Sith,” something we cannot assume Lucas would not otherwise attempt.

Also, Chewbacca? What is this, the world’s smallest universe? And what’s with the Wookies doing Tarzan yodels?

This whole affair makes us want to create the Star Wars Suck Scale, which we offer below.

The Star Wars Suck Scale

Being a revisitation of the relative quality of Lucas’ plodding epic.

  1. The Empire Strikes Back. Honestly, it’s the only decent film of the lot. It’s also the only one with its head firmly above water here.
  2. Star Wars, which frankly finishes this high only because of its cultural touchstone status. Lucas’ direction was crap even in 1977. Unfortunately, too, this represents the last vaguely acceptable filmmaking effort. All below here are in suck territory.
  3. Return of the Jedi, which appears inordinately proud of its “best of the suck” position — a position it gains only for being associated with the top two finishers, really. I mean, c’mon, EWOKS? And ANOTHER Death Star? You’re not even trying, Georgie.
  4. Revenge of the Sith. There’s a huge drop here, but not as big as the drop before we get to…
  5. Attack of the Clones. Blissfully free of what-Lucas-did-to-Liam Neeson — and mercifully low on Binks-ism — this one only barely edges out the worst of all.
  6. The Phantom Menace. Never have so many waited so long for something so awful.

BTW: If you’re gonna post whining about spoilers above, don’t bother. In fact, here’s some more:

  • Sidious == Palpatine (oh, like that’s a shocker)!
  • Anakin turns into DARTH VADER!
  • Padme gives birth to twins — LUKE AND LEIA!
  • Rosebud was his SLED!
  • Bruce Willis was DEAD THE WHOLE TIME!
  • That chick in “The Crying Game” IS A MAN!

Two Down

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Pay attention. Newsweek is now retracting a story that was apparently true (even the former Army chaplain said so in 2002 — and he was quoting the camp’s head honcho), and they’ve done it not because of riots in Afghanistan, but because the White House asked them to, which is so astoundingly inappropriate as to boggle the mind. As Josh points out, this means the Administation has effectively domesticated both Newsweek and CBS at this point. With Fox already firmly in their pocket and PBS in their sights, they’re well on their way to neutering the press.

As Bill Moyers said, a democracy can die of too many lies. Or, as Rude Pundit puts it: “This is a blood game, and, motherfuckers, if you’re not doing the cutting, you’re the ones bleeding to death.”

Read This

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Atrios pointed out this editorial from Molly Bingham, who spent much of last year trying to figure out exactly who the resistance is in Iraq. Where are they from? What do they want? Why do they fight? Looking into that issue forces examination of more than just the resistance, and it’s those realizations that create the insights in the editorial. Just read it.

More on the useless jackasses in Washington

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Portions of the so-called Real ID act — which is a bad idea anyway — purport to prohibit Judicial review. We figure they’re not just stupid — I mean, nobody sleeps through ALL of civics and still finds a seat in Congress — so we’re forced to conclude this is quite simply an overt statement of contempt for the Constitution, separation of powers, and the rule of law.

In which we clear the decks

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Here’s some crap we’ve been meaning to post. Now that we’re done with work for the evening and Mrs Heathen To Be is out art-car-painting, we’ve settled in with the new NIN (verdict so far: “Eh, but then again how long could YOU be that angry?”) and some Knob Creek to Take Care of Bidniss. To Wit:

The death of investigative journalism

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Editors say they forbid undercover operations:

“It is important that sources be aware that they are dealing with journalists,” said Tim Franklin, editor of The Sun in Baltimore. “It is not something that I feel comfortable with. This is a form of undercover journalism that, thankfully, went out of vogue in the early 1980’s.”

Presumably, the “early 1980s” represent some sort of ancient period in journalism wherein it didn’t almost universally suck.

Slacktivist on “Persecution”

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One of the popular memes on the far right today is the notion that Christians are somehow persecuted in this country — which, frankly, doesn’t even pass what my friend Lloyd used to call the “risibility test.” Fred Clark over at Slacktivist had a grand post about this a couple weeks ago, and follows with this one that includes a truly spectacular bit of satire (which he’s quoting from Merlin Missy). Pick up on it.

Dept. of Paid Shills

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We were saying just Thursday that the “corporate thinktank analysts are devoid of credibility,” and then we see this:

A recent Gartner report gives new meaning to the old saw about “lies, damn lies and statistics.” Trumpeting the “fact” that RIM is the leading PDA vendor, the report gives the BlackBerry-maker a 20% market share, vs. 18% for PalmOne. The problem is, the report doesn’t include smartphones (something that’s mentioned in a footnote), which means that PalmOne’s hot-selling Treo 650 (pictured) isn’t included in that company’s rankings. Confused? It gets even stranger. According to an analysis of the study by Personal Tech Pipeline, Gartner included seven BlackBerry products that include cellphone capabilities. Additionally, the Nokia 9300 and 9500 — which certainly look like smartphones to us — are also included, allowing Nokia to be listed as the fourth-largest PDA vendor, behind RIM, PalmOne and HP. So who really has the largest market share? While we agree with PTP’s Mike Elgan that “the stand-alone PDA market is on its way to irrelevance,” we’d still like to know where each of these players really ranks. But it looks like we’re not going to find out from Gartner.

Was the check from RIM big, Gartner?