Take a look at this guy, and tell me he doesn’t remind you of this guy.
Danger 5 is Online!
The the first mini-episode of the aforementioned Danger 5 is online! Go enjoy “The Diamond Girls!”
Wait! Are you saying police departments behave unethically?
Why yes, yes I am.
Your Map Is Wrong
LOLBama
Alabama is considering modifying its absurd papers-please law, because it turns out some of the foreigners in Alabama are rich white people.
YES YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES
Somehow, I missed this
Tiny Fey and Aaron Sorkin: Walk with me.
Your Weekend Cutesplosion
Go check out this tiny orphan bat.
Wow.
Urged on by the “Florida Family Association,” Lowe’s has pulled its ads from a TLC reality program about a Muslim family in Michigan because the show isn’t bigoted enough.
The FFA said:
“The show profiles only Muslims that appear to be ordinary folks while excluding many Islamic believers whose agenda poses a clear and present danger to liberties and traditional values that the majority of Americans cherish,” the group said about the show, a docu-soap chronicling everyday Muslim families in Dearborn, Michigan that debuted last month. “Clearly this program is attempting to manipulate Americans into ignoring the threat of jihad and to influence them to believe that being concerned about the jihad threat would somehow victimize these nice people in this show.”
“You feel like a fool … for about two weeks”
Over at MeFi, a pointer to this excellent bit from Daniel Ellsberg’s Secrets.
WHAT IS THIS I DONT EVEN
Someone needs to explain this to me immediately.
Your Tax Dollars At Work
According to another aviation security expert, the TSA has basically wasted at least $56 billion without producing any real security benefits. No surprise there, of course.
If I didn’t have a video, you’d swear I was making this up
Go watch this video of Ice Cube talking about Charles and Ray Eames.
There’s a follow-up interview at NYT; the somewhat shocking reveal is that, before NWA, Cube studied architectural drafting.
Wow.
It’s not like there’s any danger of him being the nominee, but it still blows my mind that Santorum can say things like “no one has ever died for lack of health insurance in the US.” Who ARE these people?
Potential Downsides To Living In The San Francisco Bay Area
- Extraordinarily high cost of living.
- Occasional freakish civic ordinances which may or may not balance an overall more progressive local government.
- Be honest: The vague threat of annihilation due to a catastrophic seismic event.
- The possibility that a cannonball fired by the Mythbusters might shoot right through your house.
Bullseye
Today’s Indexed cartoon is a leetle bit close to home.
Two Must-Reads on the BCS
First, there’s Pat Forde‘s screed, which is spot on.
Then there’s this extraordinarily delicious BCS takedown from an LSU fan blog. The author would prefer OSU in the title game, but that’s not the axe he’s grinding — he concedes that reasonable people disagree there. After making that point, though, he points out just how fucking broken the entire thing is, how silly some of the ranking decisions are, and how the system discourages any adventurous regular-season scheduling. Example: Stanford is ranked above Oregon in the final tally despite Oregon beating them on the field largely because Oregon has two losses to Stanford’s one. But the Ducks’ first loss was to LSU, the unanimous #1.
Key point: both authors consider this year’s Sugar Bowl lineup to be an abomination before God. And they’re right.
Here We Go
The rematch is on. Check ESPN — it’s on TV, but not the site yet. Sucks to be the lost-to-Iowa State Cowpokes, but this is the right choice if you want the top 2 teams in the country to play for the title.
“They call it souping…”
Remember this SNL bit about clueless news coverage? Yeah, not too far from the truth, as this actual news story about pedobear shows.
Christ, some folks are just clueless.
It’s Probably Time To Yell
In the early days of the so-called War on Terror, Heathen was by no means the only place crying foul at the power grabs committed by our government supposedly in the name of keeping us safe. In particular, the idea that it was okay to kidnap people without trial or recourse troubled lots of folks, and still does. Equally troubling was something we all said then, too, which was once governments acquire power, they are loathe to give it up. The damage Bush and a complicit Congress did in this regard is very long lasting, and we see more of that today.
Congress is presently debating a bill that would expand the power of the military to kidnap civilians — even Americans, and even on US soil — in the name of preventing terrorism. The government is hooked on war, and will keep this up unless we make it clear we won’t stand for it. Under no circumstances is it acceptable for an American citizen to be held without trial, without counsel, and without due process of law. It wasn’t okay on September 10, 2001, and it didn’t magically become okay the next day. With OBL dead and Al Qaeda essentially decapitated, there’s certainly no argument to be made that suspension of such basic protections is in any way warranted.
(Did you notice that we assassinated an American citizen abroad a few months ago? Did you notice how the media called him “US-born” So-and-So and not “American citizen So-and-So”? Make no mistake about it; that guy was as American as I am, and could’ve voted absentee. If that doesn’t scare the shit out of you, it should. Consider not how a relatively benign conservative or liberal administration will act with such power. Consider instead how your least favorite candidate, your worst electoral nightmare, might use it.)
Go read more from Glenn Greenwald, who has some very astute analysis. Even the White House’s threatened veto isn’t all that reassuring, since their reasoning is that these choices are exclusively Executive in nature, and none of Congress’ business.
Our ideals are only our ideals if we fight for them. Our government is getting away with abrogating rights by crying “terrorist” every ten minutes. This should bother you. It sure bothers me.
I am literally weeping with laughter
Two guys make up nonsense lists, swap them, and then seek assistance from Target employees finding said items.
Madcap hilarity ensues. Stay with it.
If you can’t get enough, the Greg’s unedited take and Ryan’s second try are also up there, but I think they got the cream in the main video.
Dept. of Creepy Crawlies
The giant weta of New Zealand is the world’s largest insect. This one weights more than several mice.
This is apparently yet another example of the well-documented evolutionary phenomenon “shit gets big on islands.”
Your phone is spying on you
No, really. CarrierIQ is installed on most Android, Blackberry, and Nokia phones, and reports everything you do upstream to CIQ and, presumably, the carrier. You cannot turn it off, and there is no opt-out provision short of rooting the phone and installing a new OS.
Dept. of Menacing Cuteness
Go check out this MeFi post; it’s video of a guy being sorta played with, sorta stalked by a coyote. Being Canadian, the videographer is unfailingly polite, which is kind of adorable.
It’s not 100% clear to me that this is predation behavior — a man is way bigger than a coyote, so a lone individual probably wouldn’t try to take him down — and the animal’s body language is very, very similar to domestic dog “play” behavior, but it’s still a neat nature encounter.
The SEKRIT HISTORY of Mahna Mahna
For once, Slate does good. Includes several iterations of Henson’s bit, from the original Sesame Street version through a “one-off” from the Ed Sullivan show to the more widely seen Muppet Show version.
OOPS!
Alabama is reportedly reconsidering its anti-immigrant law after it resulted in a white German manager for Mercedes getting the third degree instead of, you know, brown people.
Ah, Alabama.
A Song of Thanksgiving
Just go listen.
What “Grass Roots Opposition” Means to NBC
They are threatening their business partners in order to convince them to sign on as supporters of the wildly controversial and completely ridiculous Internet censorship bills currently in Congress.
In honor of our 11th birthday…
…here’s some video of a porcupine eating corn on the cob.
Dept. of HOLY CRAP HOW DID THAT HAPPEN
Heathen is, as of today, eleven fucking years old.
Sofa King Awesome
The Old Murder House Theater in Austin has produced an ice-capade version of Aliens called Aliens on Ice that appears to be made of pure, concentrated comedy gold. One reviewer said it “might have been the single greatest piece of live entertainment ever performed in front of a paying audience,” which may be hyperbole.
Do not miss this excerpt. I’m serious.
More at MeFi.
Tis the season…
…to remind you that the Salvation Army is an anti-gay organization, and that your casual holiday charity dollars would be of better use at other organizations not quite so committed to outright bigotry.
In Houston, may we at Heathen suggest the Houston Food Bank?
Ice Gonna Getcha
Behold, the brinicle, an icy finger of death. Seriously, it looks like Bobby Drake is killing starfish.
On bullshit rules, and what that means for overall compliance
We are all now quite used to turning off our gadgets during takeoff and landing on airplanes, and most people just plain comply. But it turns out nobody really knows the reason for this rule; it’s still a rule because it’s always been a rule, which is a pretty stupid reason for a rule to persist.
As the linked article points out, it’s completely laughable to think that, on board nearly every flight, there’s not someone who forgot or refused to turn off their Kindle or phone or iPod or tablet during take-off and landing. And yet, as the article also notes, there are ZERO reported incidents related to passenger electronics. None. Nada.
When we have rules that are widely ignored, or that can be ignored because of the essentially zero chance of being caught and suffering reprisals, we weaken the power of rules that actually matter to protect us. Rules need to have good reasons, and those good reasons need to be available for review. Rules without good reasons just breed noncompliance and contempt, which is what is happening with the rules surrounding onboard electronics during takeoff and landing.
What’s hilarious is that despite a growing number of folks pointing out that this rule is bullshit, the airlines are doubling down. In the last year or so, I’ve started hearing the stewardesses insist that the devices be turned ALL THE WAY OFF, as opposed to laptop hibernation or iPhone “airplane mode.” Seriously? Do they really think people will do this? I’ve never ONCE turned my laptop off to fly; sleep’s all they get. My phone and iPad go into airplane mode, not off. My Kindle? You’ve got to be joking. Why bother? Remember, these are the same airlines that have wifi onboard.
On weekends with lots of amateur travelers, I’m sure compliance is high — but among serious road warriors, my guess is that these rules in general are widely ignored — or, if not ignored, then certainly not carefully followed. When it’s obvious there’s no point, why worry about whether or not your tablet is off? My guess is that essentially no frequent traveler bothers with the “completely off” variant at all despite the shrill insistance of the attendants.
Someday, I’ll tell my nieces about how air travel used to be an experience that folks enjoyed, and where the companies involved made everyone feel valued, and where the security measures made sense and had some chance of catching a motivated bad guy. And they, being intelligent young women, won’t believe a word of it.
And here we go
BCS is out, and it is just as we predicted: LSU (1.000) and Alabama (0.9551) are comfortably at the top of the heap, followed by Okie State (0.8712). The Cowboys still have to play the Sooners, which will give them a chance at another statement win, but I’m still kinda looking for OU to win than one; they’re still #10 despite losses to Texas Tech and, hilariously, Baylor.
For their part, LSU still has to play Georgia in the SEC title game, but virtually no one thinks the Bulldogs will be as much of a threat as the Razorbacks were. LSU wins here, they’re in the game. Frankly, their lead is such that they could LOSE the SEC title game and still play for the title.
Alabama has no more games, so the Tide’s fate is in the hands of pollsters — but those pollsters have given them enough of a lead over OSU that even a commanding win over Oklahoma probably won’t be enough to push the Cowboys into the top two. Note that they only moved up this week because of LSU destroying Arkansas, the previous #3.
Bonus: There is a scenario where the SEC gets not only both title game slots but also the traditional Sugar Bowl slot. Sugar gets the SEC champ unless the conference winner is in the title game. If Georgia somehow beats LSU, they’ll go to the Sugar Bowl as the SEC champ — but LSU probably won’t drop below #2, behind (presumably) Alabama, and we’re right back where we started. Heh.
Finally, if all this DOES come to pass, it’ll be the SEC’s sixth straight BCS title, and seventh total:
- 1998 Season: Tennessee over Florida State
- 2003: LSU over Oklahoma
- 2006: Florida over Ohio State
- 2007: LSU over Ohio State
- 2008: Florida over Oklahoma
- 2009: Alabama over Texas
- 2010: Auburn over Oregon
An LSU-Alabama title game will blow one SEC stat, though: heretofore, it’s been the only conference to never play in and lose the title game — every year it’s sent a contendor, it’s won. If you send both teams, well, them’s the breaks.
Dept. of 1,000 Words
“You never really see this much bleeding on American Idol”
It turns out that Indian talent shows are much different from American ones. If that video link doesn’t work, head on over to the original post, because you really don’t want to miss this.
(In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I’ll just sign on with the President.)
Ha!
A List Of Things Turbo Pascal Is Smaller Than may make your day, if you’re as geeky as I am. Hilariously, one of these things is the Wikipedia page for C++.
Go Watch This Video
The this New Pornographers video, the band is played by actors, and Wyatt Cenac eats a cocaine pizza. You can’t beat that. Also starring John Hodgeman, Horatio Sanz (whom you will not recognize), and John Oliver.
(Yes, I’m clearing out the backlog. Enjoy.)
Wholly Unsurprising
A new study suggests that people who watch Fox News are less informed than people who watch no news at all.
Matt Taibbi Explains UC Davis
[…] the frenzied dissolution of due process and individual rights that took took place under George Bush’s watch, and continued uncorrected even when supposed liberal constitutional lawyer Barack Obama took office, has now come full circle and become an important element to the newer political controversy involving domestic/financial corruption and economic injustice.
[…] when we militarized our society in response to the global terrorist threat, we created a new psychological atmosphere in which the use of force and military technology became a favored method for dealing with dissent of any kind.
Glenn Greenwald wrote this week that “when we militarized our society in response to the global terrorist threat, we created a new psychological atmosphere in which the use of force and military technology became a favored method for dealing with dissent of any kind.” Taibbi continues:
Why did that step turn out to be so small? Because of the countless decisions we made in years past to undermine our own attitudes toward the rule of law and individual rights. Every time we looked the other way when the president asked for the right to detain people without trials, to engage in warrantless searches, to eavesdrop on private citizens without even a judge knowing about it, we made it harder to answer the question: What is it we’re actually defending?
In another time, maybe, we might have been able to argue that we were using force to defend the principles of modern Western civilization, that we were “spreading democracy.”
Instead, we completely shat upon every principle we ever stood for, stooping to torture and assassination and extrajudicial detention.
From the very start we unleashed those despotic practices on foreigners, whom large pluralities of the population agreed had no rights at all. But then as time went on we started to hear about rendition and extralegal detention cases involving American citizens, too, though a lot of those Americans turned out to be Muslims or Muslim-sympathizers, people with funny names.
And people mostly shrugged at that, of course, just as they shrugged for years at the insane erosion of due process in the world of drug enforcement. People yawned at the no-knock warrants and the devastating parade of new consequences for people with drug convictions (depending on the state, losing the right to vote, to receive educational aid, to live in public housing, to use food stamps, and so on).
They didn’t even care much about the too-innocuously-named new practice of “civil asset forfeiture,” in which the state can legally seize the property of anyone, guilty or innocent, who is implicated in a drug investigation – a law that permits the state to unilaterally deem property to be guilty of a crime.
Finally:
The UC Davis incident crystallized all of this in one horrifying image. Anyone who commits violence against a defenseless person is lost. And the powers that be in this country are lost. They’ve been going down this road for years now, and they no longer stand for anything.
Just go read the whole thing.
Winter is Coming.
HBO’s released a production teaser about the upcoming second season of Game of Thrones. Enjoy. (No spoilers.)
Happy Thanksgiving. Here’s some great music.
Heathen favorite Joe Henry sat down for a Tiny Desk Concert over at NPR. 20 minutes, 3 songs, and full of delight. Go. Listen.
What to Read About the Situation at UC Davis
If you only read one bit about it, read this one.
If you read two, read this open letter to the Chancellor by an untenured faculty member with, apparently, balls of steel.
A Friendly Holiday Reminder
There is no such thing as an airline that cares what you think of them as long as your opinion isn’t bad enough to make you go elsewhere. If you don’t fly much at all, they flat don’t care. If you fly a lot, they’re still counting on the fact that many serious travelers live in hubs where shifting carriers is logistical nonstarter even if the service is abominable.
The execs don’t give a shit, and it filters aaaaalllll the way down. Count on it, and assume they’re out to fuck you, and you’ll be much better prepared. There was a time when companies like Continental and Southwest actually did give a shit about customer service, but those days are long gone. Behave, and book, accordingly.
(N.B. that if you work for an organization that shifts from “how can we excel?” to “what will our customer base put up with?”, you’re working for shitheads. CC: The entire banking industry; the entire cell phone industry; the entire consumer electronics retail industry; etc.)
You may have heard that Congress made pizza a vegetable
Unsurprisingly, it turns out that this isn’t actually true.
Stay Classy, NASCAR
First Lady Michelle Obama and Dr. Jill Biden were booed over the weekend when they appeared at a NASCAR function as part of a campaign for military veterans.
Really, you knuckledragging jokers? Booing people working for veterans because they’re married to Democrats? Awesome. Way to confirm all sorts of stereotypes.
The sweet taste of BCS Bedlam
Since before they even played, there’s been talk of Alabama and LSU meeting in the title game for a rematch. Their contest was tight, at least by the numbers — no Alabama fan can be happy with the Tide’s performance and missed opportunities, but the final score of 9-6 in OT is a pretty shocking difference from the numbers either team racked up in the rest of their games.
BCS noticed, and didn’t punish Alabama much for the loss: they fell from #2 to #3, with Oklahoma State in the middle, and it stayed that way after last week. Oregon was at 4, and Oklahoma at 5.
Smart money said Bob Stoops and the Sooners would beat the Cowboys and push Alabama back to #2, but Christmas came early this week in the form of the unranked Iowa State Cyclones — who, even after their upset win, still have a losing record in the Big XII.
Previously 0-56-2 against teams in the top 6 of the AP, the Cyclones managed to push the game into double overtime before winning 37 to 31 in an unusual Friday night game.
But the weirdness wasn’t over yet, not by a long shot.
Earlier today, contender Oregon — who might’ve floated into #2 by a BCS unwilling to entertain an All-SEC title game — got bagged by USC. USC has no BCS rank, since they’re on probation, but AP ranks them at all of #18. In other words, it’s another pretty serious upset, and down go the Ducks because two-loss teams don’t play for championships. (Recall, of course, they lost to LSU in their opener.)
But the best is last: moments ago, #22 Baylor shocked the aforementioned Sooners with their second loss — the first ever win over Oklahoma for Baylor. They join Oregon in the two-loss-loser club, and the pool of legitimate title contenders gets that much smaller.
Who was behind Oklahoma, you ask? Why, the one-loss Arkansas team, naturally — who put a whipping on Mississippi State today, and will be rewarded for it.
Adding to the fun, Clemson collapsed vs. North Carolina State, to the tune of 37 to 13, which drops both Clemson and Virginia Tech, who lost to the Tigers back in October.
Just to lay it out more clearly, then, here’s the BCS going into this week, winners in bold and losers crossed out:
- LSU (undefeated)
Oklahoma State(first loss)- Alabama (only loss was to LSU)
Oregon(second loss)Oklahoma(second loss)- Arkansas (only loss was to Alabama)
Clemson(second loss today)- Virginia Tech (only loss was Clemson on 10/1)
- Stanford (still playing Cal, but likely to win)
- Boise State (only loss was to then-unranked TCU)
This strongly implies that tomorrow’s BCS standings will start with LSU first, Alabama second, and Arkansas third (followed, I guess, by Stanford, Va. Tech, Boise, and Houston, but it hardly matters at this point).
It’s hard to see any other scenario unless someone puts their thumb on the scale. All three teams have one regular game left: Alabama plays Auburn next week, and Arkansas and LSU play each other. If Alabama and LSU both win — which is the most likely scenario — LSU plays for the SEC title against Georgia or South Carolina, and will win in a walk, but #2 will still be Alabama.
There’s too big of a gap between these three and the rest of the pack to see an easy path to anything but an all-SEC title matchup, which will doubtless send lots of non-Southerners into complete apoplexy. However, this might get us one step closer to a proper playoff in D-1 college football. Finally.
Roll Tide.
Police Power, the Press, and Protests
If you weren’t already enraged about the way police in multiple cities responded to nonviolent protests, then maybe the ongoing and very disturbing approach these cities and police departments are employing to reduce press coverage — and therefore oversight — will be enough to get your attention.
Finally, on the subject of the cops themselves, as always Fred has wise words:
When your actions are lawful, honorable and just, you perform them in the light of day. You have nothing to be ashamed of and nothing to hide. You don’t need to seek out publicity and the camera’s eye, but you have no cause to avoid them because you can be proud of your actions, knowing them to be lawful, honorable and just.
If your actions are such that you perform them in the dark of night, avoiding cameras and witnesses or even employing the threat of force to ensure secrecy, then it is obvious to all — to you and to everyone else — that your actions are not lawful, not honorable and not just.
Ah, TSA
Via Balko & Reason, we fine “TSA: Ten Years of Sucking.”