h/t Rob.
ZOMG BEST CHRISTMAS NEWS EVER
There is an outtake reel from Emmet Otter’s Jug Band Christmas.
Most adorable outtakes in the history of ever.
Dept. of Patinkin, Again
I mentioned this running gag back in September, but now Metafilter’s gotten ahold of it with a post that includes all three of Randall & Patinkin’s “drop by rehearsals”, and they’re sure to brighten your day.
All I wanted for Christmas. In 1983.
Feast your eyes, nerdy Heathen, on the 1983 Radio Shack TRS-80 Catalog.
(Via BoingBoing.)
“You say that like there’s never been a French whore in the White House.”
Samuel Jackson and Anne Hathaway have a sad-off.
It’s a feeling Tebow knows well
Looks like ol’ Greg just beat Tim Tebow again: Jets bench Sanchez, to start McElroy.
Don’t nobody tell Erin
Boing Boing points us to the world’s worst cookbooks.
At last, a cat noisier than Wiggins
No, seriously.
HOWTO: Properly Exercise Your Cheetah
Well, you just use the local horse track, of course.
Note: They do NOT use human teeth.
BEST LAMP EVER. Also, BEST ROBOT EVER.
Go check out Pinokio, which is, astonishingly, a student project.
APPLY COLD WATER TO BURNED AREA
Right, so, sorry. Animal post.
PLEASE DONT GO. This one reminds me of certain Heathen-area cats…
Pardon, me, sir, but might I bother you for a bit of petting?.
ZOMG GIVE THIS TO ME
Why don’t I have a sport utility bathrobe?
Today in Quality Control
Field Notes would like you to know what sorts of tests their notebooks endure.
Dept. of Awesome Corrections
From this year-end rundown, my fave is from the Atlantic:
This post originally referred to Jennifer Grey as “Ferris Bueller’s sister.” As commenters have pointed out, her role alongside Swayze in Dirty Dancing is clearly the more relevant. We regret putting Baby in a corner.
Watch long enough, and you’ll start to wonder if it’s actually magic
Yann Frisch will blow your damn mind with his astounding slight of hand. Seriously. Make time.
Somebody oughta hook these folks up with Guns & Tacos
But for the FAA, the Burrito Bomber would be parachuting carne asada into your yard even as we speak.
(Related?)
Today in terrifying photo projects
These dental mannequins ask WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?
There are two brilliant things about this
Take a look at this advertisement.
Note first that the assumption is that Dave Brubeck, a jazz musician, was fabulously wealthy.
Note second that Dave Brubeck, a jazz musician, was notable enough to endorse appliances.
Maybe it’s time to axe that WOW subscription
Penny Arcade nails it.
And people say WE never clean up
Whoa:
The owner of this apartment, Mrs. De Florian left Paris just before the rumblings of World War II broke out in Europe. She closed up her shutters and left for the South of France, never to return to the city again. Seven decades later she passed away at the age of 91. It was only when her heirs enlisted professionals to make an inventory of the Parisian apartment she left behind, that this time capsule was finally unlocked.
Via Kadrey.
Mr Greg is not normally this excitable
On the other hand, it IS his birthday.
Behave accordingly. If memory serves, thus begins the last year of his thirties. This leaves, I believe, only one other member of the Great Houston Heathen Cohort south of 40.
Finally, I get it.
Mrs Heathen has refused for years to allow us to acquire a leaf blower, even to the point of agreeing to do any and all driveway sweeping required as a result.
Now I know why. She’s a sharp one, that Erin.
Dave Brubeck, 1920 – 2012
“They’re Endless-ly Delicious!”
So back in the 1970s and 1970s, Hostess ran one-age ads in comic books that starred popular heros who invariably endorsed the cupcakes or whatever as part of a quickie bit of do-gooding.
Sandman was mostly later, but that didn’t stop some enterprising soul from making their own Endless Hostess ad.
My assumption is that Canon will not cover this under warranty
Canon: State the nature of the problem?
Photographer: Well, I was in Africa, and a lion borrowed by 5D.
How we are failing our nieces (and Jackson)
We have, thus far, failed to give any of them a secret Narnia entrance to their playrooms.
ZOMG BEST PHOTO EVER
Go here, to the Atlantic’s first installment of 2012 in photos, and scroll down, immediately, to photo number 19:
Julian, a two-month old pet monkey, bites the ear of Kan, a transvestite performer, backstage at the Tiffany’s Show in Pattaya, 150 km east of Bangkok.
Today’s entry in BEST TUMBLR EVER
Dave Cockrum 70s is just what it says on the tin: a collection of Marvel covers by Cockrum in the era of broad collars and flared shoulders. I had no small number of these as a kid.
(Via MeFi.)
Because ferrofluid is awesome, that’s why
You should stop what you’re doing and go watch this really cool video.
YES.
Things we missed.
Yesterday, the 29th, was Miscellaneous Heathen’s 12th birthday. Whoa.
Merry Christmas
February 20 or 21, 1981. The 688 Club in Atlanta, Georgia. R. E. M., opening for Joe “King” Carrasco.
Stipe is a month past his 21st birthday in this footage; Berry, Buck, and Mills aren’t a bunch older. Almost 32 years ago. Sweet Christ.
Well, sure.
I think that covers it.
Go read this
David Simon completely nails the bankrupt response to the Petraeus thing, and to all such scandals. A taste:
The arguments about character? That human sexuality isn’t the most compartmentalized element of our nature? That if someone will lie about sex, they’ll lie about other things? Really? No, sorry, fuck that tripe. Character has become the self-righteous rallying cry of far greater hypocrisy than any cheating husband. It’s the excuse that makes our prurient leer seem meaningful and reasoned.
I’d say this was amazing, but it’s really not
The biggest paper in Oklahoma — named, of course, The Oklahoman — has taken the position, quite literally, that science should have no place in public policy.
It should not surprise you to learn that right wing billionaire Philip Anschutz is its owner.
Shocker.
Turns out, that United merger thing isn’t going so well, and it couldn’t happen to better group of customer-hating, user-hostile jackasses:
United has the worst operational record among the nation’s top 15 airlines. Its on-time arrival rate in the 12 months through September was just 77.5 percent — six percentage points below the industry average and 10 percentage points lower than Delta Air Lines. It had the highest rate of regularly delayed flights this summer, and generated more customer complaints than all other airlines combined in July, according to the Transportation Department.
The airline even angered the mayor of Houston, Continental’s longtime home and still the carrier’s biggest hub, when it unsuccessfully sought to block Southwest Airlines’ bid to bring international flights to the city’s smaller airport, Hobby.
The United-Continental merger is weighing on the company’s finances. It took a $60 million charge in the third quarter for merger-related expenses, including repainting planes. It also took a $454 million charge to cover a future cash payment to pilots under a tentative deal reached in August.
While most large airlines reported profits this year, United has lost $103 million in the first three quarters of 2012, with revenue up just 1 percent to $28.5 billion. Its shares are up 7 percent this year compared with a 12 percent gain for the Standard & Poor’s 500-stock index and a 24 percent gain for Delta.
Yet another reason why big-time college football in its current form is unsustainable
NYT:
After Tennessee fired its coach last week, the university’s chancellor said the athletic department would forgo $18 million in contributions it was to make to the university over the next three years for academic scholarships and fellowship programs. Instead, some of the money will be used to pay the severance packages of the coach, Derek Dooley, who is owed $5 million, and his staff, which is owed a reported $4 million if it is not retained. Dooley had four years remaining on his contract.
Dept. of Stellar Photographs
NatGeo’s contest is in again; the second batch of their winners is particularly fine. The bat shot (#22) and the one of the owl (#50) are really, really great.
“But apples and apple sellers alike were easy pickings. For the hobos.”
“Hey, Chief Heathen, how was Thanksgiving?”
And people wonder why I say CultureMap is worthless
This story is so steeped in victim-blaming as to be obnoxious and gross.
It’s so gross, in fact, that it made one of CM’s freelancers feel like he needed to distance himself from it. CultureMap didn’t like that, so they asked him to take it down. And when he didn’t, they fired him.
Fuck CultureMap. Fuck ’em here, fuck ’em in Dallas, fuck ’em wherever. It’s vapid and pointless, and has been all along; now we just get to add a whole other list of unappealing adjectives to the mix before writing them off forever.
More at MeFi.
It’s like they’re specifically targeting Mrs Heathen
Idris Elba directed and stars in Mumford & Sons’ video for “Lover of the Light”.
(via Slacktivist.)
In case you forgot
I think it’s about time we taught children that the Pilgrims were intolerant, fundie assholes and not charming buckle-hatted travelers just seeking a place to practice their faith. Sure, that was part of it, but they wanted more than that: they wanted religious hegemony, which is the absolute opposite of religious freedom.
Happy Thanksgiving anyway.
Presented without comment.
BRING THIS TO ME
Joey deVilla has found the best bloody mary ever.
I really must hate you people
Why else would I show you this photo of a younger Daniel Craig?
The best bit on the Auburn firing so far
Precisely nobody saw Chizik’s firing yesterday as a surprise. He won zero conference games this year, and it doesn’t look like the program is done crashing. Savvy folks saw this collapse coming a mile away — in fact, before Gene got to the Plains. His entire head coaching resume was a couple years at Iowa State, where he went 3-9 in his first year and 2-10 in his second. How this convinced the Auburn AD to give him the keys to their program I’ll never know. He did manage to win a little — 8-5 his first year, then the perfect season obviously on the strength of Newton, and then 8-5 again last year — but as the Tuberville-era players ran out, so did his luck.
CBS Sports nails it, taking the position that nobody in their right mind would want the Auburn job. My favorite bit:
Sharing a conference with Nick Saban is like sharing a steak with a lion. Only one of you wins that battle. And it’s not you.
Short Thought on Walter White
The central horror of Breaking Bad is not the titular evolution of a feckless, cuckolded high school teacher into a ruthless drug kingpin; it is that White achieves self actualization along the way.