Wired’s Regin Lynn explains why the new crusade against porn is a bad, bad idea.

Our congresscritters have been regaled this week with tales of the New Enemy, PORNOGRAPHY, which is apparently a HUGE threat to our country now (and never you mind terrorism, the economy, the deficit, Iraq, Iran, North Korea, etc.; we’re now threatened by HARD CORE FUCKIN’). Wired News’ coverage seems to be the best account. One witness famously described the porn plague as worse than crack or heroin (we suppose we’ve just missed the ravaged inner cities and rampant violence associated with porn).

The best part of the story is the demand by one particularly uptight group (California Protective Parents Association, in the person of Judith Reisman) that we fund research into “erototoxins,” which are produced when we view arousing pornography:

Pornography triggers myriad kinds of internal, natural drugs that mimic the “high” from a street drug. Addiction to pornography is addiction to what I dub erototoxins — mind-altering drugs produced by the viewerÕs own brain. […] A basic science research team employing a cautiously protective methodology should study erototoxins and the brain/body. State-of-the-art brain scanning studies should answer these questions with hard, replicable data. As with the tobacco suits, these data could be helpful in litigation and in affecting legal change. […] An offensive strategy should be planned, mandating law enforcement collection of all pornography data at crime sites and judges, police, lawyers and law schools should receive training in the hard data of sexology fraud and erototoxins as changing brains absent informed consent. Congress should end all Federal funding of educational institutions that train students with bogus Kinseyan academic pornography and/or that teach pornography as harmless. Congress should also remove the authority of so-called sexology institutes–most of whom are pornography grantees–to confer professional credentials and serve as expert witnesses. Cite

Of course, the thoroughly debunked ex-gay movement has its say, too, through Jerry Satinover:

Pornography really does, unlike other addictions, biologically cause direct release of the most perfect addictive substance,” Satinover said. “That is, it causes masturbation, which causes release of the naturally occurring opioids. It does what heroin can’t do, in effect.”

Could these people be more hysterical? “Erototoxins“? We wonder how these porn-induced erototoxins differ from the changes in our brains due to arousal from, say, normal human sexual activity. Smart money says “not at all,” and once you realize that, you realize that these people are threatened by sexuality, not pornography.

Of course, with the religious right calling the tune, this may not matter; their hostility to any sort of discussion of sexuality — let alone actual material designed to be arousing, sex toys, and erotic literature — is well documented, and this puritannical strain of American culture desperately wants to force its values on the rest of us. And with this administration, they have more influence than ever before. Pay attention.

Secrecy News points out something we should all be profoundly pissed off about: there now exist laws and regulations governing our behavior and limiting our rights that are secret, meaning the governmentmental body in charge does not have to show you in order to justify their actions.

Last month, Helen Chenoweth-Hage attempted to board a United Airlines flight from Boise to Reno when she was pulled aside by airline personnel for additional screening, including a pat-down search for weapons or unauthorized materials. Chenoweth-Hage, an ultra-conservative former Congresswoman (R-ID), requested a copy of the regulation that authorizes such pat-downs. “She said she wanted to see the regulation that required the additional procedure for secondary screening and she was told that she couldn’t see it,” local TSA security director Julian Gonzales told the Idaho Statesman (10/10/04). “She refused to go through additional screening [without seeing the regulation], and she was not allowed to fly,” he said. “It’s pretty simple.” Chenoweth-Hage wasn’t seeking disclosure of the internal criteria used for screening passengers, only the legal authorization for passenger pat-downs. Why couldn’t they at least let her see that? asked Statesman commentator Dan Popkey. “Because we don’t have to,” Mr. Gonzales replied crisply. “That is called ‘sensitive security information.’ She’s not allowed to see it, nor is anyone else,” he said. Thus, in a qualitatively new development in U.S. governance, Americans can now be obligated to comply with legally-binding regulations that are unknown to them, and that indeed they are forbidden to know.

Secret laws and regulations not subject to public scrutiny are anathema to an open, free society. Period.

Creationists are having their way with the Parks service, who are being compelled to sell a book at the Grand Canyon insisting that the earth is 6,000 years old, and that the canyon was created by Noah’s flood.

So. Fucked. Up.

No, really. They just want your money, and don’t care about anything else. Why else would they be trying to make it illegal to skip commercials? We’re not making this up:

The [Intellectual Property Protection Act] would also permit people to use technology to skip objectionable content — like a gory or sexually explicit scene — in films, a right that consumers already have. However, under the proposed law, skipping any commercials or promotional announcements would be prohibited. The proposed law also includes language from the Pirate Act (S2237), which would permit the Justice Department to file civil lawsuits against alleged copyright infringers.

So, to recap:

1. No commercial skipping; and
2. The DoJ is the MPAA/RIAA’s law firm; which means
3. The taxpayers will be footing the bill for their copyright enforcement efforts, both reasonable and unreasonable.

It’s not law yet, though. Call those congresscritters.